Mar 13 2009 Vroom Vroom: Pow-Pow-POWER WHEELS!
This is a video of some folks riding over-powered Power Wheels. It looks like they're having about as much fun as one can have in the snow without a Woolly Mammoth. Which, I am happy to announce, is like *this close* to being cloned. Suffice it to say SOMEBODY has been loading up on Trojan Magnums -- and I think it's you!
Over-Powered Power Wheels [liveleak]
Thanks to Julian, who drove his Power Wheels right into a telephone pole and lived to come back and cut the pole down with a chainsaw.
Mar 12 2009 Thrill Seekers: A Ski-Jump Bathroom Stall
This is a bathroom stall in some Japanese ski resort that actually serves as an advertisement for a Coca-Cola coffee product (ad on toilet paper holder and back wall). As you can see, it was designed to look like a realistic ski-jump (or dump), complete with skis painted on the ground and everything. You just sit down, close your eyes, and imagine you're atop the mountain, ready to launch yourself off a cliff. Then open them and realize you've thrown yourself off the seat and shit on your leg.
Another picture after the jump.
Continue Reading " Thrill Seekers: A Ski-Jump Bathroom Stall "
Feb 6 2009
Joker Ski Masks Perfect For Armed Robbery
This is a $17 ski mask from Amazon that makes you look like the Joker from The Dark Knight. Wear one to scare the hell out of people. Or barbecue in the cold. Perfect for all occasions!*
*Banking Excluded
Hit the jump to see a different, more traditional version that's available.
Continue Reading "
Joker Ski Masks Perfect For Armed Robbery
"
Dec 18 2008 'Tis The Season: Beer Bottle Christmas Trees
With Jesus' surprise roller-skating party just a week away, I thought I'd spread some holiday drunkeness in the form of beer bottle Christmas trees. This first one is made from 1,050 bottles, and there's a video after the jump of a Heineken tree with over 2,000. Also, I added a video of some drunkard making a Jagermeister tree out of a big piece of plywood and airplane bottles. It's amazing the time and effort people put into these things. A thousand bottles, 200 lights, 60 man-hours of labor, and one drunk Geekologie Writer to bring it all crashing down. Feliz cumpleaños, Jesus! And tell Santa I'll post nudey pics of Mrs. Claus if he pulls that coal shit again this year.
Hit it for the other videos.
Continue Reading " 'Tis The Season: Beer Bottle Christmas Trees "
Dec 3 2008 Okay: Sled Works In Winter AND Summer
The Ice Meister Slicer isn't only horribly named, it's also a monster piece of crap that costs $70. For a molded piece of plastic. Anyway, if I haven't (or the nozzle in the pictures hasn't) turned you off already, the sled is ride-able in both the winter AND summer. How? Look at the picture. It comes with two molds you fill with water and then freeze. Attach the blocks to the bottom of the sled, and TA-DA -- why's that kid wearing a helmet? He looks like my roommate the time he shat in the cat's litterbox. Which I may or may not have filmed. Rule 34 baby.
And, to get you in the holiday spirit:
Eddie: I don't know if I oughta go sailin' down no hill with nothin' between the ground and my brains but a piece of government plastic.
Clark: Do you really think it matters, Eddie?
Ice Meister Slicer lets you sled down hills all year [dvice]
Dec 2 2008 That's Cold!: Ice Sculpture Carving Fail
If there's one thing I love in life it's another person's misfortune. A close second is dessert. One time I was scarfing grimace proportions of peach pie a la mode in a restaurant and some guy tripped and busted his face open on the sidewalk. I whip creamed my pants. So this ice sculpture fiasco was a real treat. Of course, it helped that I was finishing off the last of the pumpkin pie while I watched. And taunting a bum with a half eaten turkey sandwich.
Note: The Geekologie Writer actually takes no pleasure in other people's misfortune. He is a caring and sensitive man-boy who volunteers at the local strip club and once saved a busload of schoolchildren from alligators because their teacher was hot. Did I mention he has a wang the size of Texas? Because he does. Unless that's too big, in which case it's one of the Carolinas (take your pick) but shaped like Florida (cooking accident). Laaadies?
Youtube
via
Failblog
Thanks to Colin, who once made love to an ice sculpture mermaid.
Dec 2 2008 Wait, What?: A Gas-Powered Snowboard
Hammacher Schlongmeister, purveyor of the utterly ridiculous, is selling a gas-powered snowboard this year. Because, you know -- shit, beats me.
This is the gas-powered vehicle that combines the thrill of riding a snowmobile and the freedom of a snowboard, enabling you to surf effortlessly over the deepest fresh powder or on packed, granular snow. Powered by a 6 1/2-hp four-cycle gasoline engine that starts with a pull, it can accommodate riders up to 250 lbs. and has a maximum speed of 18 mph, operating up to two hours on only 3/4-gallon of gasoline.
All that and it'll only set you back $2,000. They're practically giving them away! And as a guy who's broken his arm snowboarding, I've got to admit: two grand is a small price to pay to shatter it again. *CRUNCH* I can see the bone!
Gas-powered snowboard secures your dominance over nature [dvice]
Nov 25 2008 Google Employees Create Spreadsheet Art
This is a time-lapse video of three Google employees creating an 18,600 cell mosaic in a spreadsheet. As you will see, it has a nice wintry theme. Namely, snowflakes. Personally, I would have gone with Frosty bending Santa over his sleigh for not bringing him the new corncob pipe he wanted, while Mrs. Claus watches from the kitchen window and bakes those delicious cookies of hers. But I don't get paid to sit around and make spreadsheet art. I get paid to sit around and desecrate your Christmas memories. Happy holidays bitches!
18,600-Cell Spreadsheet Mosaic Captured On Time-Lapse Video [gizmodo]
Thanks to Harrison, who's allegedly keeping Frosty's head alive in his freezer.
Nov 7 2008 Stylin' And Profilin' (And Kicking Myself In The Nuts For Writing That) With A Mario Hoodie
Looking for a sweet new hoodie to rock this fall? How about a Super Mario inspired joint? The MarioFlauge hoodie is currently available for pre-order and will set you back 65 pieces of eight. It's jam packed with enough golden coins, warp pipes, and phallic mountains for even the most discriminating hoodier. And speaking of which: Geekologie hoodies.
Thanks to Dan, who agrees to wear this hoody if you dress up like Princess Peach.
Oct 16 2008 I'll Never Be Cold Again!: A LEGO Radiator
Allegedly this is a real radiator called the Brick, designed by architect Marco Baxadonne and manufactured by Scirocco. No word on price, but I think we can all agree that money is no object when it comes to a LEGO radiator. Unless it's more than $60, in which case, f*** it, I'm going with DUPLO.
Brick LEGO radiator keeps nerds warm [slipperybrick]
Thanks to idid yamum, who, wait a minute!
Oct 3 2008 Burton Releases Series Of Sexy Snowboards
Burton Snowboard's new Love series was made in cooperation with Playboy and feature busty centerfold pictures. Because let's face it, what could be cooler than cruising down the mountain on a booby-covered board? Ha, no, not dead hookerboarding, although....
Burton Love Series Snowboards [highsnobiety]
Thanks to Jo Mama, who knows I love the rich, chocolatey taste of Ovaltine.
Aug 11 2008 Woman Knitting Super Mario Bros. World 1-1 Scarf, Will Be About 30 Feet Long Finished
Cassie from Georgia is knitting a Super Mario Bros. World 1-1 scarf. Why? Because she's awesome, that's why. So far it's about 1/3 done and already over 10 feet long. So it's gonna be one hell of a long scarf. Keep you real warm. Now I'm not sure who that guy is in the picture there, but if I had to guess, I'd say a man that knows what's up -- knitting and Irish whiskey, always a good time. You start out making a sweater for your sister, and end up knitting yourself a night in the slammer. Survival Tip: Knit your asshole closed.
Hit the jump for one more picture, along with a link to her project blog.
Apr 23 2008 Bacon Scarf Sadly Tastes Like Fleece
If there's one thing I learned repeatedly while growing up it's that a dog can and will bite your genitals if you have a piece of bacon in your pocket. So how's a boy supposed to get his daily bacon quota without rocking a pork pocket? Simply -- with a bacon scarf. Each is made from 100% recycled bottle fleece and costs $38 (plus $7 shipping). You know, I may get one closer to winter, but it's just now getting warm out so I can't think about scarves right now. But what I can think about are summer dresses. You catch my drift guys?. *wink, wink* You do know what I'm saying, right? Good, now tell me if I should wear my black flats or brown leather pumps with this one.
Thanks to Mallory, who is new to Geekologie, for the tip. Everyone give her a warm welcome -- but stay away from the snacks, those are for after the meeting.
Mar 25 2008 Mega Man 2 Scarf Sadly Doesn't Come With That Sultry Model Or The Awesome Hat
This is a Mega Man 2 themed scarf that has all the robot bosses on it. As you can see there's, um, Fan Man. And Frog Dude. Was that sacrilegious? Fine, Air Man and Bubble man. It's for sale if you want it, but it costs $150. It is, however, one of a kind. It is not, however, not bright yellow. Damn I'm in love with that girl in the picture. It's like she's looking into my soul and likes what she sees. Which is probably the potato salad and Fruit Rollup I had for breakfast.
One more of the detail after the jump.
Continue Reading " Mega Man 2 Scarf Sadly Doesn't Come With That Sultry Model Or The Awesome Hat "
Feb 28 2008 Doomsday Seedbank Is Ready For Storage
The Svalbard Global Seed Vault in Longyearbyen, Norway is officialy open for business and ready to start collecting seeds. The vault will hold over 100 million seeds from all over the world in case the world (except Norway) explodes or is otherwise torn to shreds. The whole compound is made of fortified concrete and can withstand "nuclear missile attacks or a plunging plane." Well this is great news for the Geekologie writer, and I, for one, have already sent in several samples of my seed. *wink, wink* You catch my drift? It's a tomato hybrid I developed myself, I'm really proud.
A ton more pictures of the compound after the jump.
Feb 22 2008 Knitted Gas Mask Will Keep You Warm But Not Safe From A Chemical Attack
This nonfunctional knitted gas mask was made by skilled craftswoman teriyakimoto for a friend to keep warm on his bike commute to work. It looks good and has more style than a boring "bank robber" style mask. I, however, prefer the real deal. I wear a gas mask I picked up from the military surplus store just in case anybody decides to chemically attack me. I was going to get one for my girlfriend too but I didn't have enough money. No worries though, because like the boyscout motto goes, "she's a whore and doesn't deserve one."
Knit gas-mask hat [boingboing]
Feb 21 2008 R2-D2 Beanie Cap: Please Make Me One
This R2-D2 beanie cap is freaking awesome and comes complete with holographic projector nubbin! Oh man I want one so bad. A woman by the name of Carissa is responsible for the design, and has the pattern posted on her blog so somebody PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make me one. My head has been so cold this winter and this is just the thing to keep it warm. You see, all my hair was scorched off when I ran into a burning building to save an elderly woman and a bunch of newborn kittens/bunnies/puppies. Pretty heroic of me huh? Okay you got me, I'm going bald.
One more picture of the back after the jump.
Dec 4 2007 Sled Has Shocks, Is Fast, Foldable, Costly
The Alu High-Tech Sledge is a pretty wicked sled. It has a 6 3/4" shock absorber to protect your ass from bumps when flying down hills at break-neck speeds. The absorber can even be adjusted for the different weights of riders and the terrain you'll be tackling. The runners can be waxed just like skis so you can go fast as shit, and the thing folds to only 6 1/3" tall when not in use. Awesome right? Well it better be for a staggering $640. Just slap a good coat of non-nutritive food varnish on the runners and you'll be breaking the Griswald Family Land Speed Record in no time.
Fold Away Sled With Shocks [notcot]
Nov 29 2007 Static Discharge Unit Keeps You Shock Free
The Static Electricity Eliminator (SEE) is a little device from ThinkGeek that will remove the static charge you may be carrying. You touch the rubber end to anything that's grounded, and wait for the little face on the LCD screen to light up, indicating you're static free. The unit requires no batteries and costs $10. But, if you're looking for something a little cheaper, you can always shock me. And by shock I mean flash. Whoa dude, not you.
thanks to Tiny, who is actually quite large, for the tip
Nov 21 2007 Polymer Snow Debuts At Ski Resort In Texas!
Texas based Bearfire Resort is using Snowflex, a polymer-based snow substitute, to cover its ski trails. The resort hopes to be operational by '09, and will offer year round skiing and snowboarding. So yeah, that's wack. It just won't be the same urinating your name in the snow anymore. Because it won't be snow. It'll be plastic. And peeing in plastic is only fun on long car trips. You know, when you don't want to pull over and happen to have a half empty Gatorade bottle handy.
Polymer-based snow = skiing cowboys [core77]
