Nov 4 2009 How To: Open A Wine Bottle Sans Corkscrew

Ever needed to open a bottle of wine but didn't have a corkscrew? Apparently all you need a shoe and something rock hard. LIKE MY ASS ABS ASS. Alternatively, break the top off and chug the whole bottle. I mean, unless you're cool being a sissy boy. Trust me, manliest way to drink wine. AND THERE AREN'T MANY.

MacGyvered Inebriation: Guy Opens Wine Bottle With Shoe [uberreview]

Jun 23 2009 Wine Balls: Not Just For Sommelier Orgies

Tired of drinking wine straight from the bottle? That was rhetorical -- it never gets old. But N2Wine decided to make these Wine Globe systems anyways. Cheers, Jesus. Want to teach me how to fish?

Wine globes are glass containers capable of holding 33 or 70 bottles of wine (depending on the size) that are specifically designed to thwart oxidization, the chemical reaction that ages wine, by preventing any air from entering the system. Instead, the globes vino-filled spheres constantly topped off by "food-grade" nitrogen when liquid levels deplete, essentially freezing wine's flavor in time.

The wine is also under constant water-cooled temperature regulation so that it's served perfectly every time and, obviously, the system can offer more wines by the glass than most restaurants currently offer.

Each globe costs about $1,000 but can be run in line off the same nitrogen tank, making them still not worth it. No, I'll be sticking to my boxed wine, thank you very much. Literally, I glued it myself. Ever played Edward Fortyhands? You should try Bernard Boxarm.

Wine Globes Swap Tastings for Keggers [gizmodo]

Apr 20 2009 Wine Glass Features Convenient Reservoir

I know what you're thinking, "holy shit, that glass has a tumor!", and you're right, it kind of does. The Glass Tank is a conceptual wine receptacle that keeps your glass topped off at a constant level. That way you get drunk with while you're, you know, I've been drinking. Now I know -- 4.20's supposed to be about smoking, but, and it might just be the booze talking -- but I love booze. Also, this is a stupid idea. I already have a wine glass with built in receptacle -- it's called the box. Or, if I feel like being Mr. Fancy Pants, the bottle. Class: you can't spell Geekologie Writer without it.

Hit the jump for one more shot of how it works (air replaces wine in reservoir as you drink).

Continue Reading " Wine Glass Features Convenient Reservoir "

Mar 12 2009 Wine: World's Most Complicated Corkscrew

This is the world's most complicated corkscrew. It not only opens a bottle, but pours it into your glass as well. The machine was allegedly made out of 300+ found parts and is going into limited production of 100 units. Which makes me wonder just how "found" the parts really were. Anybody else get the feeling they were "found" in a box of ordered supplies? Clever. But not nearly as clever as my corkscrew, which is a machete. Yeah, I learned the trick watching Big Trouble in Little China. "Nothing or double, Jack". Pork Chop Express FTW!

Now feel free to leave your favorite Big Trouble quote in the comments.

The Corkscrew a Marvel of Mechanical Artistry [uberreview]

Feb 12 2009 The Universe Is Apparently A Big Metal Donut

And all along I thought was a little plastic danish. Shows you how much I know (read: everything). So yeah, ghost of Karl Sagan: I know you're reading this, feel free to chime in and back me up whenever you want.

At first, this polished object looks like an ordinary ring. But it's much more than that. This is a model of the universe, which, according to one increasingly popular theory, is not flat, circular, spherical or saddle-shaped, but more like a "3-torus," or doughnut shape. It's also a whole lot bigger then you may have imagined.

Look closer, and you'll notice a minuscule speck on this model. It looks like a tiny flaw at first, but upon closer inspection, you'll see it's a precise wine glass shape. That's us. The tiny area depicts the known universe, showing a timeline of its entire life, from the Big Bang starting at the glass's stem, expanding to where we live today.

I get it -- so what they're saying is that the known universe is a wine lover. So do you think it's a Merlot fan or more of a Chardonnay kind of universe? Mad Dog 20/20, huh? Awh yeah, I knew I was living here for good reason! Now stop hogging the bottle, Universe, Jesus you're a boozehound.

Mind-boggling model of the doughnut-shaped universe makes you feel really small [dvice]

Dec 12 2008 NYU To Offer Video Game Degree Next Fall

NYU will be offering degrees in the design and development of video games starting fall 2009. Load up on Mountain Dew, kids, it's time to get your learn on.

The NYU Game Center, launching in fall 2009, will make NYU the first New York City college to offer such a degree, and one of the few in the country.

"It will do a lot to attract new students to New York and raise the city's profile as a center for gaming," said Center for an Urban Future deputy director Tara Colton, who recently called out New York City for lagging behind its competition in tapping into the videogame market.

Drawing from a private $1 million contribution, and a $200,000 Rockefeller grant, the center will initially be modest in scale. NYU plans to offer ten to twelve students the chance to choose from 70 courses in game design and development next year, with a two-year masters program set to launch in 2010.

Cool. I mean, I'd probably still fail out, but at least the subject material would be cooler than the stuff I learned. Which was nothing. Well, that's not entirely true. I made bongs and shit. And also, radiator wine. You know, by setting bottles of apple juice on the radiator in front of the window for a semester. You ever done that before? My f***, it gets you some drunk.

NYU Launching Videogame Degree Next Fall [shacknews]

Thanks to Alexandria, The Reigning Queen of Nerdopia, who just earned herself an honorary doctorate in awesome from the University of Geekologie.

Nov 12 2008 Finally, Some Research I Can Get Behind -- And Drink!: Students Aim To Help Prevent Cancer With Delicious, Refreshing Beer

Students at Rice University are using genetic engineering to develop a beer that contains resveratrol and may help prevent cancer.

BioBeer, as it's called, has three genes spliced into special brewer's yeast that produce resveratrol, the chemical in red wine that is thought to protect against diabetes, cancer, Alzheimer's and other age-related conditions.

The only problem, from the students' perspective, is that many of them aren't old enough to legally consume their creation.

Ha -- too young to drink! Maybe you could ask some seniors to go buy you a six-pack of Zima. Just kidding. But yes, that's a picture of my brother and I playing 24-hands a couple weekends ago. We would have played with 40's but my brother (on the left) weighs 135 pounds and 80 ounces of malt liquor would probably kill him. So, yeah, next time. But cheers to being cancer free! And also, somebody help get this tape off my hands.

'Bio-Beer' Designed to Extend Life [discovery]

Thanks to Phil and Pat, who actually play keg hands because they're that hardcore.

Dec 18 2007 Wine Loving Robot Scores World Record

The Tasting Robot, designed by NEC, has scored a 2008 Guinness World Record as the first robot sommelier (wine steward). The cute little bastard can "accurately assess a wine's type and ingredients by simply holding a sensor over the bottle". But he doesn't stop there, he can do the same thing for a lot of fruits and cheeses as well. Because let's face it, apples and bananas are often hard to differentiate. I was skeptical so I decided to really put the little guy to the test by tossing him in the cat's litterbox. Sadly the little bastard exploded. However his dying words did sound a lot like “oh shit”, which was correct.

R.I.P. Wine Loving Robot, you'll be missed homey. I'll pour out a little Cabernet Sauvignon in your memory as soon as I can afford a box.

NEC Robot Sommelier cracks open the Guinness records books [dvice]

Dec 10 2007 New Wine Holder Necklace Lacks Class

The Wine Holder Necklace costs $25 for two and holds a regular sized stemmed glass with a stupid looking lanyard.

Keep your hands free at parties by keeping your wine close at heart! This clever little clip with adjustable strap holds a regular-size stemmed glass to your chest, giving you the freedom to snack and socialize as you sip!

They failed to mention that it helps you achieve the look of a total freaking idiot. I will admit though: when I get drunk I do tend to forget where I left my drink. At a holiday party over the weekend I ended up accusing the host of hiding it from me and punched him in the teeth. Turns out it was in my other hand the whole time! Silly me.

Wine Glass Holder Necklace, Keeping Your Wine Close At Heart [uberreview]