Nov 17 2009 BURN IT DOWN!: The Bender Head House

The Bender House looks like Bender's dome from Futurama. If you've never seen Futurama I'm going to assume you don't have a television or internet so you probably aren't even reading this. Unless they print out copies of Geekologie and distribute them in Africa, which, I think we can all agree, is the best idea you've ever heard. Anyway, I'm gonna go ahead and start taking bets on how many beers it takes me to crash out of Bender's right eye and lay bleeding in the driveway -- oh -- oh -- *crash* Fourteen and a couple buttery nipples. Now somebody call 911 411, this guy needs a pizza.

I want this house [warmingglow]

Thanks to Marcie, who used to live in a house that looked like Robbie the Robot but it mysteriously burnt down. *whistling* Weird.

Mar 9 2009 Kangaroo Broke Into Home, Mistaken For Ninja

A kangroo recently broke into the home of Beat Ettlin while he and his family were sleeping. He mistook the kangaroo for a ninja and began to pummel the 90lb beast.

The 42-year-old told Sky News Online: "I just saw this black thing. I thought it was a lunatic ninja, an intruder. It just fell on top of us on the bed.

Finally, Beat was able to subdue the kangaroo in his son's room, and kick the leggy bastard out the door.

"When I got in there, it was against the wall by the window, trying to get out I think so I just jumped on top of it. I got him in a headlock and pressed him to the ground.

"I had to open the door with one hand, pressing the kangaroo to the wall with the other hand. Finally, the door opened and I could actually release it.

Good looking. Of course, how could you not kick a kangaroo out of your house with a name like Beat? That would be like being named POW and getting your ass kicked by a koala that broke in through the attic.

Oz Dad Fights Off 'Lunatic Ninja' Kangaroo [skynews]

Thanks to Alex, Jazzy 8 Ball, and Victoria, who have all punched ninja-roos in the pouch and lived to tell about it.

Feb 24 2009 I See Your Brain: Fish Has See-Through Head

The barreleye (Macropinna microstoma for you ichthyologists) is a deepwater fish that has a see-through, fluid filled head in which it moves its eyeballs. And that, dear reader, is freaking awesome.

Barreleyes, just a few inches long, are thought to eat small fishes and jellyfish. The green pigments in their eyes may filter out sunlight coming directly from the sea surface, helping the barreleye spot the bioluminescent glow of jellies or other animals directly overhead. When it spots prey (such as a drifting jelly), a barreleye rotates its eyes forward and swims upward, in feeding mode.

What a freak! Reminds me of a girl I used to date that had a wandering eye. My God that turned me on. When she was looking at you it was like she was looking through you. Well, with her good eye anyways, the other was always wandering over your shoulder. Damn I miss that eye.

Strange Fish Has See-Through Head [aolnews]

Thanks to Pat, who has eyes in the back of his head that he can't use because he needs a haircut.

Aug 21 2008 Windows 3.1 Windows Not Vista Compatible

John Nouanesing, the same designer behind the drippy paint table and Geekini has come up with a clever window treatment -- Fenêtres 3.1 (Windows 3.1). As you can see, they make your windows look like Windows 3.1 windows. And, if it's particularly crappy looking outside, you can pull down the blue screen of death shade (seen partially pulled in the right photo). You just better hope the neighbor's kids don't accidentally throw a ball through them, because then you'd have broken Windows! Or, if they're not sealed properly, you could get -- wait for it, wait for it -- bug-filled Windows! Haha, I am so freaking wanting to kill myself right now.

Brilliant window design looks just like Windows 3.1 [dvice]

Thanks to Andrew, king of harvest. And broken windows.

Aug 13 2008 Wait, What?: Inflatable Art Turd Flies Away

I don't even know. Apparently American artist (artist used very lightly) Paul McCarthy created an exhibit entitled "Complex Shit" that consisted of an inflatable dog turd the size of a house. Well, the inflatable pew got loose from and wreaked havoc in Switzerland.

The wind carried it 200 meters (yards) from the Paul Klee Centre in Berne before it fell back to Earth in the grounds of a children's home, said museum director Juri Steiner.

The inflatable turd broke the window at the children's home when it blew away on the night of July 31, Steiner said. The art work has a safety system which normally makes it deflate when there is a storm, but this did not work when it blew away.

Wow, those kids are officially f***ed for life. Way to go, Paul (I loved Hey Jude by the way). Now I hate to start an argument about whether or not an inflatable dog turd the size of a house should be considered art or not, but I did take an art history class in college, so I am an authority. And let me tell you -- the girl that sat beside me had a pair of Titians on her that would've given Michelango's David a boner.

NOTE: I made the crappy picture. Photo fake, story real.

Flying piece of art causes museum chaos in Switzerland [yahoonews]

Thanks to Ryan, who once flew around the world in 80 days a turd.

Jul 8 2008 Jump Out A Window: The Wizard Escape Pack

Look around. See any flames? Take a whiff. Does it smell like smoke? Take your iPod's earbuds out. Is there a fire-alarm blaring? If so, strap on the Wizard safety pack, attach the end of the lifeline to something sturdy (no, not your computer monitor) and then dive out a window. Now sit back and piss your dress pants while the Wizard's 250-meter cable lowers you safely to the ground. Designed by HJC Design, the promises an "automated public safety solution with up to 250-meters of reciprocating lifeline technology." You just better hope a co-worker wants your attach point and disconnects your line before you hit ground level (lest you hit ground level at a break-neck velocity). That's why I'm sticking to plan A: my trusty hang glider. Sure it takes up the entire men's bathroom, but seriously, would you rather be safe in the event of an emergency or urinate in your coworker's desk drawers? Ahhhhhhhhhh, exactly. *zip*

Wizard escape pack: too late for MacGyver, too conceptual for Bauer [engadget]

Thanks Julian, I'm thinking we'll use these to escape the strip club without paying our tab

Jul 7 2008 Sure, Why Not?: Venetian Blind T-Shirts

The Venetian Blind t-shirt is a shirt that bares your beautifully tanned abs if you're a sexy woman or your pasty, hairy beergut if you're me. All with a simple pull of the string. Now I'm not sure if it goes all the way to the top or not, but it sucks pretty bad if it doesn't. Currently the shirt is only available in museum gift-shops, but fear not: it'll make its way to Spencer's and Hot Topic in no time. And if you ever catch me wearing one I want you to yank the string like you're playing tug-o-war. But not before wrapping it around my neck a few times.

Sexy Venetian Blind T-Shirt Bares Midriffs With the Pull of a String [gizmodo]

Thanks Keo, but I'm holding out for vertical blinds.

Apr 15 2008 Dope: Gold NES With Triforce Window Mod

Damnit, I hate it when this happens. You find a sick Nintendo painted the same gold as the original Zelda cartridges (if you don't know about those I'm afraid we can't be friends), complete with custom cut-out Triforce window on top, and, just my luck -- the freaking eBay auction has already ended! Woe is me. The console even has a green LED power button (as a tribute to Link's clothing), a yellow LED that makes the Triforce glow, and backlit Nintendo logos on the controllers. And it sold for $52 (plus $15 shipping)! Talk about a disappointment.

And you know what else is disappointing? The open bar situation at the wedding I went to this weekend. No liquor! All the beer and wine you wanted, but none of the good stuff. I couldn't believe it. How am I supposed to dance without some high-octane life juice? I was so desperate I almost drank a bottle of isopropyl alcohol I found in the supply closet. That said, after 14 beers and a couple glasses of wine I did actually make it out onto the dance floor. Except there was no dancing going on! I look up, and the next thing I know, I've caught the bouquet. Two bridesmaids team-punched me in the neck and tried to snatch it. So I gave them the ol' 1-2-roundhouse kick. Their dresses were hideous anyways.

If you're sad about the Nintendo not being available there's still this piece of crap available for $60.

The guy says the pictures suck because his camera is broken and he had to take them with his phone. More shit-quality photos, and a link to the auction, after the jump.

Continue Reading " Dope: Gold NES With Triforce Window Mod "

Nov 27 2007 Bright Blinds: Add A Window To A Blank Wall

Two Japanese designers have created Bright Blinds, which are blinds to be hung on blank walls to give the appearance of a window underneath. Electroluminescent sheeting is responsible for the simulated daylight, and the amount of light emitted is controlled via the same methods as traditional blinds. Not nearly as cool as Philip's Dynamic Daylight Window, but a neat concept none-the-less. Except they won't work. It's like the time I tried to cheer myself up at the office, despite working in a windowless interior cubicle. You know what I did? I drew a window on my whiteboard -- with a beach outside, complete with palm trees and bikini babes. And let me tell you, that shit didn’t work worth a damn. If anything I was even more depressed.

Video of the blinds after the jump.

Continue Reading " Bright Blinds: Add A Window To A Blank Wall "

Oct 12 2007 Windshield Wiper Mirror, So You Can Shave

I hate getting out of the shower and ready to shave only to realize I can't see a damn thing in the bathroom mirror. If I leave the bathroom door open while I shower it helps, but then I get a cold breeze in there that makes my penis shrivel up inside me. And wiping the mirror with a towel just doesn't cut it. Enter the Bathroom Mirror Wiper. It's a windshield wiper for your bathroom mirror. I'm pretty sure you have to move it manually, which sucks. I don't like looking at myself in the mirror anyways. I'm ugly folks. Almost as ugly as my girlfriend. I'm way out of her league.

Espejo con Limpiaparabrisas (mirror with wipers) [core77]

Aug 10 2007 Solar Powered Mouse

The Delft University of Technology has developed the first solar powered mouse. It only charges on actual sunlight, so there is question as to whether the mouse can be implemented in real world work environments. According to the University, its success depends on:

a lot of factors, including the willingness of the user to adapt his behavior to favorable light conditions by regularly charging the unit with daylight from the window, and the computer usage pattern.

I have the feeling that this mouse just isn't for me. I mean, I live in my mom's basement. I don't have the luxury of a door - let alone any fancy windows. These people need to live in the now. Don't get me wrong, I am a huge proponent of environmental sustainability and conservation. I just make my contributions in other ways. I pee in the sink.

Solar Powered Mouse [Core77]