Nov 19 2009 Air Blower iPhone App Really Blows Air (See What I Did There? There's More To Come!)

Looking for the latest and least greatest in iPhone apps? Check out the $1 "Blower" app. It sucks blows sucks and blows is f***ing stupid.

Thanks to the new "Blower" app, iPhone owners will now be able to blow out candles with their handset. Just "switch on your app, turn the iPhone volume to the max and feel the air flowing from the speaker opening."

Unlock the new mind-blowing secret feature on your iPhone. Turn your iPhone into a real Air Blower!

Mind-blowing secret feature my ass. An x-ray camera, now THAT'S a mind-blowing secret feature. Or the ability to make calls to the dead. Phone developers, are you getting all this? Because I'm not buying another phone until I can talk to George Washington and take pictures of Martha's underwear. Just saying.

Hit the jump for a video of the app blowing out candles. WHEE, what a birthday!

Continue Reading " Air Blower iPhone App Really Blows Air (See What I Did There? There's More To Come!) "

Nov 16 2009 Gnarly: Two Kite Surfers Jump British Pier

Two extreme sporters used particularly gusty winds today to fulfill their live's dreams: to jump Worthing Pier in West Sussex, England, on kite-boards. It's time to dream bigger, brahs!

Jake Scrace, 25, and Lewis Crathern, 24, had been planning Monday morning's jump for three years but had to wait for perfect weather conditions.

They took off from Goring to the west side of Worthing in gusts of wind that were more than 40mph, and had two helpers on the beach. The pair said the jump was quite hazardous and should not be attempted by amateurs.

Mr Crathern said the jump was "epic".

"It was everything I've lived for - amazing," he said.

Everything you've lived for, nice. And here I've been living to destroy my body with booze and die young. But, you know, jumping over a pier with a kite, that's something too. *snicker* Pussies.

Two kite surfers jump over pier [bbcnews]

Thanks to And and 2MechanicalArms, one of which may or may not be a robot.

Jul 7 2009 There Can Be Only One: Train Vs. Tornado

In a no-holds barred, knock out, drag out cage track fight, we've got the much anticipated Train vs. Tornado matchup! In the red corner, weighing in at a couple trees, a really confused cow and a bunch of rain, THE TOOOOOORNADO! And in the blue corner, weighing in at more tons than I can count or even fathom with my animal brain, THOOOOOMAS. THE. TAAAAAANK ENGINE!

So, who will win?

Hint: Dora, I've the feeling we're not in Kansas anymore. That's right folks, WE ARE OUT EXPLORING UNCHARTED TERRITORY. CHOO CHOO!

Youtube (fight starts at 1:00)

Thanks to Red, who, together with blue, makes purple. And love.

Jun 20 2009 Pew Pew!: Guy Builds Bumblebee In Yard

As most of you probably know, the original Bumblebee was a Volkswagen Beetle. And as very few of you probably know, I still have the original toy around here somewhere because I'm gangster.

Tom Rhodes likes Transformers. So, naturally, he built an 18-foot-tall, 1,200-pound Bumblebee robot out of an old Volkswagen Beetle.

As you can see, Bumblebee protects Tom's windmill from the Decepticons. Because, fun fact: Decepticons HATE clean energy. Transform and recycle!

Man builds gigantic Bumblebee Transformer in his front yard [dvice]

Thanks to FDSY, who once tried switching the bodies on two of his old Transformer toys but it didn't work BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT G.I. JOE'S.

Jun 12 2009 Stormchasers Capture Inside Of Tornado

This is a video of some stormchasers in Goshen county, Wyoming driving into a tornado (the good stuff starts around 2:20). I've got to admit, it's a pretty ballsy move -- but I've done it on foot. And yes, I was transported to Oz. Don't believe me? Then where'd I get these Munchkin panties?

Holy Crap, Storm Chasers Captured Footage Inside a Tornado [gizmodo]

Jan 18 2009 Anybody Seen My Foil Helmet?: UFO Destroys Wind Turbine, Aliens Make Off With A Piece

The alien apocalypse is upon us! Those other-worldly asslovers have already started sabotaging our power systems, starting with most crippling -- yes, the wind turbines.

The facts: The turbine suffered a catastrophic failure at night around the same time many locals reported "glowing spheres" in the sky. The manufacturer says the turbine was built to withstand extreme conditions. And the blade that snapped off still hasn't been found.

That's right folks, we can finally add destruction of property and theft to the long list of rectal crimes aliens have committed here on Earth. Apparently the little wonk-eyed bastards hate renewable energy and just all around jerks and litter bugs. Which, honestly, I've been trying to tell you all for years. Remember the time I woke up with a burger wrapper and Styrofoam cup in my ass? Exactly.

Breaking: Aliens hate wind power [dvice]

Aug 11 2008 The Telemegaphone Is Now Accepting Calls

The telemegaphone is a combination telephone and megaphone, hence the clever name.

Telemegaphone Dale stands seven meters tall on top of the Bergskletten mountain overlooking the idyllic Dalsfjord in Western Norway. When you dial the Telemegaphone's phone number the sound of your voice is projected out across the fjord, the valley and the village of Dale below.

Telemegaphone Dale is wind powered and self-reliant. Recently however, the weather has been exceptionally calm in Dale and there has been a massive amount of people calling.

If the Telemegaphone doesn't pick up, just give it a few hours to recuperate and try again. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Awesome -- finally somebody who will listen to me. Hello, Dale? Are there any pretty birds around? TWEET TWEET! Here birdy birdy! How's the view? Is it as awesome as I'm imagining? Is there a rainbow? I bet there's a rainbow. There is, isn't there? Shit, was that just Bigfoot? Haha, made you look. Quick, a unicorn! Jesus, you're gullible. *flush* What? No, I'm not calling from the bathroom. Wait, don't hang up! I need you. You're my only friend. You and the woodland creatures are all I have. Will you stay on the line until I fall asleep? Please? Okay, now let's so goodnight at the same time. Ready? Goodnight! Oh, you were off, let's do it again. Hello? HELLO?

Telemegaphone Official Site

Thanks to Abraham, the OG Emancipation Proclamater.

Jun 25 2008 Rotating Skyscraper To Be Built In Dubai

A rotating skyscraper is slated to be built in, wait for it -- Dubai! The structure, designed by Italian architect David Fisher, has floors that can each rotate independently of one another. Allegedly the building will be powered entirely by wind and solar energy via outer solar panels and wind turbines between the floors. I'm curious to see how that works out. I'm also curious how you and your neighbors decide who gets the ocean view and when. I'm guessing it involves threats and/or a good amount of weapon brandishing. Condos are currently going for about $3,000 per square foot but don't bother calling to ask -- I already did and the bastards aren't selling 1' x 1's.

Hit the jump for a VIDEO including some computer animations of the buildng and an interview with the architect.

Continue Reading " Rotating Skyscraper To Be Built In Dubai "

Mar 6 2008 Conceptual Parisian Building Is Super Green

The Anti-Smog Innovation Center is a conceptual building that was designed to reside on the Canal de L'Ourcq in Paris. It "would sport 2,700 solar panels as well as a titanium dioxide coating that would react with UV rays to break down smog." In addition, "a 148-foot-tall Wind Tower would convert the canal's breezes into energy." Well neato. How about you go ahead and build it Paris? The place could use a little cleaning up. Because my girlfriend and I visited once and our first impression of the city, after getting out of the airport, was of a mother letting her 4-year-old daughter shit on the sidewalk. If you think I'm joking, I'm not. It was so romantic.

A solar powered, wind using, smog killing fantasy building in Paris [dvice]