Sep 8 2009 Impressive: Soda Box Mario At Gas Station
This is an incredibly impressive Mario themed soda display at an unknown gas station in Mysteryville, USA. Sure there are clues in the picture as to where it was actually taken, but do I look like Sherlock Holmes. This is a crack pipe! Anyway, kudos to whoever spent the time and energy to make such a wicked display. I used to work in a gas station and I never did anything like this. No, I would just get high in the walk-in soda cooler and then wait for the first person to come in to buy a drink. It would smell like ganja when they opened the cooler door! Then I'd give them the wrong change and eat a bunch of candy.
Soda Display Win [failblog]
Thanks to everyone who sent this in, I will make a beer can mosaic in your honor. It will probably be a penis.
Jul 10 2009 Death Star Of Hearts: Star Wars Tattoo Chick
Fail? She's all win in my book. Between Boba Fett and the heart-shaped Death Star, I would do all sorts of things to this woman. Namely: try to introduce myself, get choked up, point my finger at her yelling "pew pew pew!", and then sob into my Star Wars beach towel.
Thanks to Johnny Freightliner, who may or may not be hauling pirated goods.
Jun 3 2009 "The Ducks Are Not Mine": David Thorne (The Seven Legged Spider Drawer) Is Back At It
It's hard to top the seven legged spider debacle, but David Thorne took another stab at it when he was notified by his landlord that he is not allowed to have pets in his apartment. David has definitely got some funny stuff in there, but the best part is the last email sent by the landlord. Hit the jump to see the whole series of correspondence. It's long, but worth it. Like me.
Hit it.
May 1 2009 DIY: How To Get Out Of Jury Duty (Sort Of)
Erik Slye (he is too), 36, of Gallatin County, Monatana really, really, REALLY didn't want to serve on a jury after being summoned for duty. So what did he do? Wrote a nasty letter. His affidavit to the court follows, in case you can't read it in the picture.
Apparently you morons didn't understand me the first time. I CANNOT take time off from work. I'm not putting my family's well being at stake to participate in this crap. I don't believe in our "justice" system and I don't want to have a goddam thing to do with it. Jury duty is a complete waste of time. I would rather count the wrinkles on my dogs balls than sit on a jury. Get it through your thick skulls. Leave me the F--k alone.
Way to hero it up, Erik. "The document, of course, did not sit well with court officials and led a judge to threaten to jail Slye. But after being summoned to court, Slye apologized for the affidavit and avoided being cited on a criminal failure to appear rap. And he also was excused from serving on a jury." Wow. So I guess sometimes writing a nasty letter really does work. Oh, and Erik -- neuter the dog, bro.
New Wrinkle On Avoiding Jury Duty [thesmokinggun]
Thanks to The Jerk and Joemo, who found jury duty a great time to peruse the Geekologie archives.
Apr 1 2009 Awesome New Products From ThinkGeek
Squeeze Bacon and a Tauntaun sleeping bag, it's about freaking time!
This high-quality sleeping bag looks just like a Tauntaun, complete with saddle, internal intestines and glowing lightsaber zipper pull. Use the lightsaber zipper pull to illustrate how Han Solo saved Luke Skywalker from certain death in the freezing climate of Hoth by slitting open the belly of a dead Tauntaun and placing Luke inside the stinking (but warm) carcass.
Awesome!
Squeez Bacon® is fully cooked 100% bacon, it requires no preservatives or other additives. Each serving is as healthy as real bacon, and equivalent to 4 premium slices of bacon! You can put it on sandwiches, pizza, pastas, bacon, soups, pies, eat it hot or cold (warm Squeez Bacon® on toasted rye is to die for), substitute it for bacon in your recipes, or even eat it right out of the tube like we do!
The Tauntaun bag will set you back $40, and a tube of Squeez Bacon® will cost you $8. Unfortunately, they're both fake and you can't buy either one (April Fools!). Still, ThinkGeek is pretty foolish for not actually making these. So who knows, maybe they will (at least the sleeping bag). Because if they don't, I'm going to. I'd just prefer they do it because I'm lazy. I haven't even left the bed today! Seriously, I'm running out of dry spots.
Squeeze Bacon
and
Tauntaun Sleeping Bag
via
ThinkGeek (with several other April Fools products)
Thanks to Chrissy Poopy Pants McBacon Lover, brittany and xring, who would totally scarf some Squeez Bacon® while nestled at the bottom of their Tauntaun sleeping bags while reading comics by flashlight.
