Nov 9 2009 Clever: D&D Character Sheet Styled Resume
This is an artist/animator's very clever D&D style character sheet/resume. You can see a larger, more readable version HERE. And speaking of larger, more readable versions: how do I turn up the text size on my laptop? Somehow it got changed and now I can't even read what I'm typing anymore don't forget to call penis doctor about appt.
Character Sheet/Resume [superpunch]
Thanks to Blastphemer, who once blasted his femur right out of the socket doing jumping jacks and now has a peg leg.
Jul 17 2009 iBum Chair: Ladies, Please -- Have A Seat
The iBum Chair by Tomomi Sayuda is a photocopier built into a chair. It might just be the best chair ever invented. The question is: do they make an office model? My secretary hopes not.
...chair will automatically photocopy your ass, when you sit this chair. When audience sit down on the chair, a scanner on the top of chair to scan people's buttocks automatically. Then the scanned image is printed out from the right hand side of the chair. A sensor is detecting people's existence all the time. So people will not realize the existence of the scanner. Without notice, the photocopy of the bum will arrive next to the chair.
Certainly brings new meaning to the phrase "casting couch chair", doesn't it? No, I guess it doesn't. You know, that sounded a lot better in my head. Along with your singing. YOU WILL NEVER BE A STAR!
Hit the jump for a video of the chair in action.
Continue Reading " iBum Chair: Ladies, Please -- Have A Seat "
Jul 7 2009 Laser LightLane Creates Your Own Bike Lane
You know what I hate about bicycling? All the pedaling. I have tiny chicken legs and can't even pedal my Big Wheels to the mailbox without running out of steam and crashing into the azaleas. But for your hardier folk, the LightLane is a little laser system that attaches to your bike and provides you with a laser-line bike lane wherever you go. Clever idea. Now are you thinking what I'm thinking? If you answered, "no officer, I was not swerving, I was following the bike lane," you are!
Thanks to Rogefgv, Romeo and Mandy, who ride those bikes with the giant ass wheel in the front and the little tiny one in the back. Because they're oldschool killas.
Jun 2 2009 Best Website EVER (Geekologie Excluded)
Explosionsandboobs.com is just that. Explosions. And. Boobs. That's it. Every time you visit you get one shot of an explosion and one of sweater melons. Nothing to read (minus "and"), just awesomesauce in its rawest form. BOOM! Boobs. Just like that.
Thanks to jonat8han, who has a crazy ass numeral in the middle of his name. And to D-Bizz, who doesn't.
May 18 2009 Experiment: Which Dog Do Women Like Best?
This is a video of an experiment called 'Puppy Pulling Power' that helps determine which breed of dog women respond to most. Basically some guy attached a digital camera to a dog's collar that takes a picture every time it detects a smile. Or breasts. Quite possibly breasts. Whatever the case, I'm adopting everything the pound has to offer. Cats too. Ladies?
Hit the jump for some of the sweater yammier images, along with a graph showing the success of the various dogs, and a longer, 10 minute movie about the project.
Continue Reading " Experiment: Which Dog Do Women Like Best? "
Apr 2 2009 Why Didn't I Think Of That?: Bacon Lube
That's right folks, bacon lube. Goes perfect when your lady (or man) is wearing a bacon bra and you're scarfing a meat-ship in bed (double entendre, count it!). Ah, heaven.
As many of you know, we're huge bacon lovers here at J&D's. We now make Bacon Salt, Baconnaise and Bacon Lip Balm. That last one seemed like a stretch at first, but now that bacon has successfully made the jump from food to personal care, we're pushing it even further.
With that said, we're happy to introduce our newest product, baconlube™. It's not for sale yet, but we're looking for early product testers to put our "Everything should taste like bacon" tagline to the test. Please email us at keepitsizzlin@baconsalt.com to get on our beta tester list.
My God that sounds delicious. From fish to bacon in just a few drops. I'm really hoping this wasn't an April Fools joke either, because that would just be cruel. I went ahead and added myself to the beta tester list and haven't gotten an email back yet calling me an idiot, so that's a good sign. Now, ladies, what do you say: me, you, some Baconlube? Haha, did I just describe your wildest fantasy? Well tell me -- in your fantasy did you make me a BLT afterwards? Because that's a must.
Product Site
Thanks to Erik, bob, Julian, Lyles and Joseph, who pre-ordered a case and are gonna try to raise money for more bacon with a baconlube bikini wrestling exhibition.
Jan 14 2009 Australian Fixes Plasma TV With Baseball Bat
NOTE: VIDEO IS SLIGHTLY NSFW, DUE TO LANGUAGE.
This video is so full of win I don't even know where to start. But I'll try. First of all, beating the shit out of a TV with a baseball bat is just awesome. Also, humping it against the wall is cool too. And to make matters even more rad, there's a pair of chicks with Australian accents arguing in the background the whole time. Which, combined with the beating of the television, really turned me on. And let me tell you: the guy they're arguing about, Simon (who the one emphatically claims she doesn't give a shit about), must be pretty freaking special for them to ignore the epic repair going down in the next room.
How To Repair Your Plasma TV With a Baseball Bat (NSFW) [gizmodo]
Thanks to Nathan, who once fixed his DVD player with a hockey stick but had to spend two minutes in the penalty box for high-sticking.
Jun 26 2008 Brothel On Wheels Gets Busted, I Weep
Well folks, in an attempt to take away our Eighth Amendment right (the right to pay for and receive sexual acts in the back of a moving vehicle) the FBI busted what they're calling a "brothel-on-wheels" in Miami.
Miami Beach undercover detectives who paid a $40 entry fee and boarded a stretch limousine bus Sunday found women onboard offering oral sex and lap dances for money, authorities said.
Authorities arrested Christine Morteh, 29, of Miramar, and the driver, Clyde Scott, along with four other people Sunday. Miami-Dade jail spokeswoman Janell Hall said Morteh faces charges including offering to commit or engage in prostitution, conducting business without a license, directing another to a place of prostitution and deriving support from prostitution.
Whoa, whoa, whoa -- those sound like some pretty serious charges. Completely inappropriate. I was thinking more along the lines of a gas card and handicapped parking sticker.
Cops bust alleged brothel-on-wheels in Miami [cnn]
Thanks Romeo, but I kind of wish you had notified me about this service earlier.
May 2 2008 Use Whatever You Want For Clock Hands
Well, you can't really insert anything you clock fetish pervwads. Just things that are relatively small, cylindrical, and lightweight. But everything that meets those criteria is fair game. Like, um, severed fingers (I recommend using a thumb and middle finger -- 3 and 9 o'clock will be hilarious!). Seriously though, this thing is pretty clever. It's really got me thinking about what time it is. Which, right now, is time to find two more things to post about. And then -- then it's time to mow the lawn and shower. But after that -- well, by then the wife will be home and it'll be time to play video games and tune her out while she complains about her day at work.
Several more pictures of the thing and what you can do with it (use twigs!) after the jump off. And yes, I posted this to make up for that coat hanger timepiece from earlier.
