Because the majority of Americans are dummies and like to prove it regularly on my Facebook feed (my friends are actually on the lower end of intelligence), 51% of recent survey participants expressed a concern that rain or other inclement weather could affect cloud computing b... / Continue →

I dunno, I thought it was pretty common knowledge that a cat who's allowed outside will get into any and all the trouble it possibly can. I guess some cat owners just have a hard time accepting their precious little Mittens or Missy is out there running around killing things, ... / Continue →

This is a video featuring all 151 original Pokemons as the Nyan cat. These are the interwebs, people, what the f*** did you expect? Videos like this are the reason the internet was invented in the first place. Jk jk, I think it was invented to transfer human minds to virtual... / Continue →

Google created an artificial intelligence system with a staggering 16,000 processors and let the thing loose on the internet to learn on its own. And what did it learn? CATS. "The musical?" *stink-eye* The neural network taught itself to recognize cats, which, John Markoff... / Continue →

Network Exec 1: What's big right now? Network Exec 2: My daughter said something about a Pictionary ripoff on her iPhone. Network Exec 1: I'll buy the rights. *both laugh and light cigars with the script of my pilot* Because 'Win, Lose or Draw' and 'Pictionary' haven't already... / Continue →

Picture related: what almost happened. A Jetstar pilot was forced to abort a landing in Singapore after he forgot to put down the landing gear on time because he was using his cell phone. I...am never flying again. Well, not on a plane anyways. Only with my jetpack. The ca... / Continue →

Because what better way to make me not want to use steroids than featuring a fictional character who obtained his incredible physique by entirely unnatural means and personifies rage, The Hulk will appear on the cover of an upcoming Avengers themed Muscle & Fitness magazine. T... / Continue →

GirlfriendHire.com is a website that allows you to hire girls to pretend to be your girlfriend via text/Facebook, do your homework, give relationship advice, ooooooooor tell you how to grow your peenor, all for the low, low price of $5. Shit, for $5 I'll do your homework for y... / Continue →

A plastic surgeon in Washington DC has started performing a procedure dubbed the "Facetime Facelift" because people don't like the way their double chins look when using the iPhone's Facetime chat. Jesus, THEN JUST CALL OR TEXT. "Patients come in with their iPhones and show m... / Continue →

As a guy who spends 10+ hours a day with a laptop resting on his already unimpressive genitals, this is pretty serious news. Kidding, I can't have children. Get it? Women just find me so unattractive! I touched a titty one time but it was a friend of my older sister and I t... / Continue →