Nov 2 2009 I'm A Mommy!: Wiimote Baby Doll Peripheral
It was only a matter of time before somebody realized what a cash cow a baby doll Wiimote peripheral would be. Cover your daughter's eyes, it's Baby and Me!
Baby and Me comes with a doll, but not just any doll. This doll features a slot for the Wii remote so that the game can track feeding, playing, and excessive shaking motions. The game also features Balance Board support so that you can rock baby to sleep.
Wow that sounds....not fun. Of course, I'm not a five year old that wishes she were a mommy. And, God-willing, neither is your daughter. NO DATING TILL YOU'RE 30! What was....did you just talk back to daddy? 35!!
put your wii remote inside a baby [technabob]
Oct 23 2009 Man Pleads Guilty In La-Z-Boy DWI Case
62-year old Dennis Anderson of Bumfunk, Minnesota was arrested last year for drunkenly driving his motorized La-Z-Boy into a parked car. Anderson's blood alcohol content was 0.29, which is impressive for a sexagenarian, but if mine falls below that I start to feel sick.
Anderson's customized vehicle, seen in the police evidence photos on the following pages, is powered by an eight horsepower Kohler lawnmower engine, and has a stereo, headlights, a built-in cup holder, and a "Hell Yeah It's Fast" bumper sticker. The ride, however, does not have a seat belt. Anderson, pictured above, controlled the La-Z-Boy via a steering wheel protruding from its seat cushion. The vehicle's headrest was adorned with the logo of the National Hot Rod Association. Following his guilty plea, Anderson was sentenced to 180 days in jail and ordered to pay a $2000 fine. A judge stayed Anderson's jail term in lieu of his successful completion of a two-year supervised probation term.
First of all, I can't believe it doesn't have a pop-out leg rest. And secondly, I can't believe it doesn't have a built in cooler. Where the hell was Anderson getting all the beers? And don't tell me a beer tree because I'mma rent a backhoe and uproot that tree. I wanna know where the beer at. I want the beer. Gimme the beer -- I want the beer.
Man Pleads To La-Z-Boy DWI [smoking gun]
Thanks to Closet Nerd, Occasional Reader, Kevin, B-Rad and Lord Tarl, who would have been smart enough to kick up the leg rest (because they would have built theirs with leg rests) and nap it off.
Aug 20 2009 For The (Clumsy) Ladies: Twilight Bandages
Look down. Do you have breasts? If so, you're a woman or a man who could afford to lose some weight. Either of which may be interested in these Twilight bandages. They're band-aids, but with Twilight shit on them. Now, not to flaunt my superior product design skills or anything, but they should have made the bandages look like vampire bites. BOOM, $1 million idea. You'd have girls throwing themselves off their bicycles just so they could wear more of them. Oh, right, Twi-hards are cutters.
Product Site (sorry ladies, currently sold out)
Thanks to ech0z, who doesn't wear bandages because he has the healing properties of Wolverine, but is way more rugged and handsome. There, I did it -- now pay up.
Jul 29 2009 That's Pretty Messed Up: 2-D Relationships
I think the picture speaks for itself, just listen. "This is sooooo creepy". There, did you hear that? I've written about being in love with 2-D characters before, but apparently the phenomenon is even more widespread than previously thought. Japan, you never cease to amaze me.
As they got to know each other, they traveled hundreds of miles west -- to Kyoto, Osaka and Nara, sleeping in his car or crashing on friends' couches to save money. They took touristy pictures under cherry trees, frolicked like children on merry-go-rounds and slurped noodles on street corners. Now, after three years together, they are virtually inseparable. "I've experienced so many amazing things because of her," Nisan told me, rubbing Nemutan's leg warmly. "She has really changed my life."
Nemutan doesn't really have a leg. She's a stuffed pillowcase -- a 2-D depiction of a character, Nemu, from an X-rated version of a PC video game called Da Capo, printed on synthetic fabric.
DUM DUM DUM! You like where I ended that quote? I did it for dramatic emphasis, and I think it worked. The New York Times has a really long, in-depth article about the phenomenon, so you may want to go check that out if you're a closet pillow humper. But seriously -- 18+ only pillows, please.
Love in 2-D [nytimes]
Thanks to amy, who can only love in 4-D.
May 11 2009 MIT Builds World Of Warcraft Gaming Hut
Some gamers at MIT went and built a World of Warcraft 'pod' that contains everything a person would need to survive about three days while constantly playing WoW. Shitter? Check.
Inside, the gamer finds him/herself comfortable seated in front of the computer screen with easy-to-reach water, pre-packaged food, and a toilet conveniently placed underneath his/her custom-built throne.
When hungry, the gamer selects a food item ('Crunchy Spider Surprise', 'Beer Basted Ribs', etc.) and a seasoning pack. By scanning in the food items, the video game physically adjusts a hot plate to cook the item for the correct amount of time. The virtual character then jubilantly announces the status of the meal to both the gamer and the other individuals playing online: "Vorcon's meal is about to be done!" "Better eat the ribs while they're hot!" etc.
As much as I want to hate this, I've got to admit: I wouldn't mind having one. Looks equally suitable for raiding villages and your own little level 4 pants elf. Which, privacy curtain, hello?
Hit the jump for another shot and a better view of the schematic. Ha, remember when you used to make a privacy tent by pulling your bedsheet down from your loft in college? No? Me neither then.
Continue Reading " MIT Builds World Of Warcraft Gaming Hut "
Apr 17 2009 Scotland Police Department Heavy On Jedis
Strathclyde Police, Scotland's largest police force, says eight of its officers (and two of its civilian staff) listed Jedi as their official religion on voluntary diversity forms, making them the least feared police force ever.
The details were obtained in a Freedom of Information request by Jane's Police Review.
About 390,000 people listed their religion as Jedi in the 2001 Census for England and Wales. In Scotland the figure was a reported 14,000.The Office for National Statistics did not recognise it as a separate category, and incorporated followers of Jedi with atheists.
Wow, do you think the officers mod their billy clubs to look like lightsabers? Because that would be awesome. And by awesome I mean incredibly sad.
Force is strong for Jedi police [bbcnews]
Thanks to Thumperchica, debaser, Liz, Lee, Patrick and Annie, who once Force-choked a thief till he turned to the Dark Side (blacked out).
Feb 2 2009 Fat Face: Face Slimmer Allegedy Slims Faces
First of all, I predicted the Steelers would win the Super Bowl in a post a couple weeks ago. So I am officially magic. And also, I have a fat face. So thank God for this Japanese face slimmer. It's basically a rubber mask you wear to pretend you're a homicidal cannibal and scare your family. It's similar to binding your feet, except it won't work. If you really want a slim face just man up and use a vice. It works -- I'm so handsome now the dog will play with me.
Japanese face slimmer will definitely not work as advertised [dvice]
Jan 23 2009 Wiilly Bad Ideas: Adding Weights To Wiimotes
Wow, wait till somebody beats their dog in the head or throws one of these through the TV.
Introducing riiflex, a weighted attachment designed for the the Wii™ remote. Soon gamers and fitness enthusiasts alike will be able to turn their Wiimote into a weighted dumbbell.
Be among the first to receive this innovative product by submitting your reservation for preorder today.* Designed for the Wii™ Remote (Wiimote).
* 2LB and 5LB increments (currently proposed).
* Allows access to all Wii™ Remote functions.
Riiflex: $5 to reserve for pre-order
New flatscreen television: $1,600
Two years of therapy for the kids when you kill the family dog: $9,000
Convincing yourself you'll actually get fit playing Wii with a weighted remote: priceless
There are some things money can't buy, for all the rest, steal.
Thanks to Tank, who works out his treads running over the bodies of his enemies.
Nov 20 2008 The World Is Ending, And I Need Better Support: That's Right Folks, Man-Bras
Remember the Seinfeld episode about man-bras (bros)? I'm trying to forget it. But man-bras actually do exist, and here they are. Made by Japanese underwearier Wish Room, each man-bra promises support where you need it most: right at the tit. And as a man who's no stranger to trying on his girlfriend's bras while she's in the shower: I like to put on a little makeup too. Just a little foundation, eyeliner, mascara, blush, and lipstick -- nothing crazy.
HIt the jump for a bunch more disturbing pictures.
Continue Reading " The World Is Ending, And I Need Better Support: That's Right Folks, Man-Bras "
