Jun 17 2009 It's Been Fun: Teaching AI How To Kill Us All
In one of the sickest and twistedest announcements I've read in recent history, programmers attending the Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers symposium will attempt to program AI to destroy us all in a game of DEFCON.
Part of the symposium is a sort of "Turing Test" challenge, in which contestants program an AI to play a videogame. The objective is to try to trick a panel of human judges into thinking the AI is a human player.
This year's videogame is DEFCON, the brilliant nuclear war strategy game from indie developer Introversion.A group of talented programmers will pitch their DEFCON bot against enemy bots in a series of one-on-one thermonuclear chess games. The winner is the programmer whose bot successfully annihilates its opponents and racks up the highest death count. IEEE is offering a $500 prize to the deadliest DEFCON AI bot competition winner.
WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?! Like I don't have enough to worry about without people programming artificial intelligence to kill us all. You KNOW the robots are behind this. And also, BEHIND YOU -- DUCK! *pew pew* I just saved your life. No need to thank -- actually, yes, sing my praises. *cocking laser blaster* DO IT!
Symposium will teach AIs how to wage nuclear war [fidgit]
Thanks Kenny, shall we play a game?
Oct 28 2008 Tuttuki Bako (aka The Fingerbang Game)
Tuttuki Bako is a new video game where a player interacts with the device by sticking their finger in a hole. Your finger then appears on the LCD screen, and you can make contact with the characters in the game. If you can even call this a game -- all I saw was some chick fingerbanging a plastic box. Which was totally awesome in its own right. And its own wrong. Mostly wrong. Still, I think we can all agree that by the time you read this you've already considered sticking your penis in it.
Hit the jump for two more game videos.
Aug 22 2008 Swarm-Bots: Child Stealing Robots (Seriously)
Every wonder what it would look like if a bunch of little robots ganged up on a kid and dragged it across the floor? This.
The video is 3:00 long, so just let it load and then skip towards the end for the full effect.
Thanks Michael, you wanna come over and help me install casters on the kids' PJs?
Jul 2 2008 Oh Great: Robot Can Learn To Use Tools
Wonderful, just wonderful. The UMass Mobile Manipulator, developed at the University of Massachusetts Amherst, can learn (by itself) how to use different tools (weapons).
UMan uses a regular webcam to look down at a table from above. By analyzing differences between adjacent pixels, it guesses where an object's edges might be found. Then it prods the object and, on the basis of how it moves, revises its estimate of the object's shape. It continues shoving the object around, observing how its parts move in relation to each other. UMan will push the object backward and forward along its width and length and at a 45-degree angle to both, if necessary, until it's satisfied that it understands how the object moves. Wherever the movement is restricted, the robot concludes that there's a joint. UMan then uses that information to figure out the best way to manipulate the object. It can also tell if there are multiple joints, and how those relate to each other.
Oh my God this is the exact opposite of awesome. I can see it now: some robot lopping my melon off with a pair of compound pruning shears. Great, this is just great. F*** you, UMass robot sympathizers.
Robot Learns To Use Tools [technologyreview]
Thanks Steve, Shawn and Jim, now I have to break everything in my toolbox.
May 29 2008 Like I Really Needed Any More Proof: Foolish Scientists Teach Monkeys To Control Robots With Their Minds, AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!
If there's one thing I hate in the world it's robots. And that hate is only trumped by cute little monkeys in laboratories controlling robots with their brains. F'ing a. So yeah, a bunch of scientists that deserve to have their diplomas and lab jackets revoked have taught some monkeys to feed themselves using robotic arms using only their brains. Because this is supposed to help us in one way or another.
The animals were able to feed themselves using prosthetic arms, which were controlled by brain activity.
Small probes, the width of a human hair, were inserted into the monkeys' primary motor cortex - the region of the brain that controls movement."The more we understand about the brain, the better we'll be able to treat a wide range of brain disorders, everything from Parkinson's disease and paralysis to, eventually, Alzheimer's disease and perhaps even mental illness."
I call shenanigans. These scientists don't give two flying monkey shits about curing disease. The sick bastards are building a primate-controlled robot army to kill us all. Now let's go smash up their lab and free those poor little monkeys. Who's with me? Come on, it'll be fun. We'll get drunk as shit on the ride back and make the monkeys drive.
Video of the poor little guy in action after the jump.
May 7 2008 Designer Guns Great For Gaudy Tramps
Couple one of these guns with a designer gas mask, and you're guaranteed to be the tackiest thing trying to run in stilettos during the coming robot/zombie/candied yam/werewolf/douchebag/vampire/lobster apocalypse. Created by Peter Gronquist for his art exhibit "The Revolution will be Fabulous", each weapon looks god-awful. That said, I'm sure they'll sell like hot cakes. Oh wait, they have.
Gronquist's show opened last night at Gallery 1988 in Los Angeles. The pieces ranged from anywhere from a few hundred bucks to several thousand and several, such as the Louis Vuitton chainsaw, have sold.
This is just crazy. Anybody who actually bought one of these things should be locked up for having absolutely no theology or geometry. Well, except for the guy that bought the golden Louis Vuitton chainsaw -- he sounds cool as shit and writes this blog.
Hit the link for a TON more name-brand weapon ridiculousness.
Jan 23 2008 Oakley Medusa Hat & Goggles Are Painful
There are people out there that want to look as stupid as possible. Thankfully for these freaks there is the Medusa hat and goggles from Oakley. The ridiculous hat goes for a paltry $500 and the bug-eyed goggles for $250 -- a steal. I can't imagine who in their right (or wrong) mind would ever, ever, ever buy these monstrosities, but I'm sure they're out there. I'm also sure they're idiots and should be sterilized. That being said, I think they'd be great for a little mythical role-playing in the bedroom. I could get my wife to put these on, then I'd pretend to cut her head off with my man-sword. You know, just like Perseus did.
Thanks to Melissa, goddess of beauty, and Sebastian, god of sexual prowess, for the tips
