Jan 16 2009 Virgin Auctioning Virginity Allegedly Gets $3.7 Million Offer -- I Should Know, It Was Me!
Remember 'Natalie Dylan', the 22-year old strumpet who's claiming to be a virgin so she can auction off her virginity to your dad? Yeah, well in what appears to be the longest-running auction ever (my last post was in early September), Natalie has allegedly received a $3.7 million dollar bid. Which, I want it to be noted, I wouldn't even pay for a virgin t-rex. F*** it, not even an albino virgin t-rex. Also, just look at that chick -- I've seen plenty of virgins (or at least the same one in the mirror everyday), and that ain't no Mary.
Natalie allegedly received over 10,000 bids and plans to use the money to go to college (read: get even bigger implants and become an adult-film star). Best of luck, Natalie, I'm rooting for you. And also, bidding. Tosseth aside thine chastity belt -- thou virginity is mine! F***, now I'm even creeping myself out.
22-Year-Old Sells Virginity Online -- and Feds Can't Do a Thing to Stop Her [foxnews]
Thanks to Bryan and The Superficial Writer, who, despite pooling their Whopper coupons, only came up with enough for a 30 seconds apiece with Natalie -- not that they'd need anymore. HIYO!
Jan 5 2009 Pssst, Over Here: Cheap Knock-Off Brands
Knock-offs: they look like the real thing, but are bought out of the back of a skeezy guy's van for a quarter of the price and either break or explode within a week of purchase. Then, to make matters worse, the bastard isn't set up on the same street corner when you go to return the merchandise. What a sham! And speaking of which, I will now perform a magic trick -- Alakasham! Can you still see me? I'm supposed to be invisible. *entering women's locker room* "EEEEEEEEEEKK!!!!!!" Oh, oh shit.
Hit the jump for a few more knock-offs, including a chicken wearing the Colonel's tie.
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Oct 13 2008 $60,000 His And Her LEGO Sculptures
Got $60,000 lying around? Looking for a way to blow it in the most ridiculous way possible? How about life-sized his and her LEGO sculptures from famed LEGO artist Nathan Sawaya?
Send in detailed photos and measurements, then Nathan gets to snapping and BOOM! One-of-a-kind, life-size sculptures of yourselves in LEGO bricks. We priced our exclusive gift individually, so Nathan can "brickalize" you and the S.O., the kids, Granny and/or anyone else you obsess about. (Just make sure you have the rights to their likenesses; we're not here to judge.)
Word on the street is that for an extra $10,000 Nathan will even throw in a pet. Which, for $10K, better be a freaking dinosaur. A real one.
Hit the jump for one more full-body picture.
