Sep 11 2009 You Look Different: Is That You, R2?

This is definitely NOT the droid I'm looking for. Kidding -- come here you lovable little trashcan, you! Now hump my leg.

I've Got A Bad Feeling About This [pictureisunrelated]

Thanks to everyone who sent this in, next round at the cantina's on me. Psyche! I WILL SHOOT FIRST.

Aug 7 2009 You're Doing It Wrong: Dell Shipping Options

I don't even want to know how much this shipping option is, but one thing is certain: it's not worth it. Not only is the box being crushed, but it's upside down! Dude, you're getting a Dell broken computer.

Thanks to Todd, who, for actually taking the picture, receives today's unsafe driver award. Congratulations!

Dec 10 2008 WTF?: When (Cardboard) Rhinos Attack

This is a Japanese zoo's training video on what to do in the unlikely event that a cardboard rhino with two guys standing underneath it escape from its habitat. Looks like a lot of poking it with sticks, banging on metal buckets, and eventually tranquilizing the horny bastard. Also, make sure its ear breaks off when you finally down the beast. Good to know!

Weird 'Rhino Escape' Training Video [weirdasianews]

Thanks to Chris, who noted that a bottle of overproof rum and a lit cigarette would have sorted the situation out romantically.

Nov 12 2008 Mayor of Turkish City 'Batman' Is Suing Christopher Nolan And Warner Brothers

Huseyin Kalkan, the mayor of Batman, Turkey, is suing (director) Christopher Nolan and Warner Brothers for using the name of the city in The Dark Knight without his permission. In other news, Batman may have elected a retarded mayor. And should totally sue this little twerp.

"There is only one Batman in the world," Kalkan said. "The American producers used the name of our city without informing us."

Kalkan claims he has evidence, which will show the city of Batman was founded before the 1939 debut of Bob Kane's DC Comics superhero by the same name.

Wow. Just wow. It all makes sense now. I mean, Batman, Turkey is like the crime-fighting capital I've never heard of. Why has this been a non-issue for the past 70 years? Simple -- stupid mayors. Somebody send that city a big bag full of cash, pronto.

Christopher Nolan being sued by Batman [msnbc]

Thanks to Morrocco Mole, Marc, and Adam, governors of The Riddler, Penguin, and Mr. Freeze, respectively.

Oct 2 2008 Aaaaaaah!: Scary Ass Robot Girl

This is a robot girl named Repliee R-1. She's an android built by Osaka University and based on an actual 5-year old girl. And I think I speak for everyone when I say they chose their model pretty freaking poorly.

Liveleak

Thanks to Firuz, Tytus, Jake, and Justin, who all agree the only good robot is -- wait, there are no good robots.

Sep 2 2008 $173,000: Microsoft Sunglasses For Sale

Need a new pair of sunglasses? Looking for an 80's pair that screams "I love Microsoft and don't care if I look like Billy Joel's grundle"?

What you're seeing is the only pair of 1980's Hot Green Microsoft sunglasses around! A reliable source said these were only given to a handful of employees and every pair has been broken or lost over time... Except for these! These sunglasses were in use while Microsoft Office (word, excel, etc) was created and released! These bright sunglasses were the reason for many bright attitudes during the rise of Microsoft, and those bright attitudes might be the only reason for Microsoft's success. These hot green shades were making a fashion statement on a desk at Microsoft while stocks split and and the company developed! These magical sunglasses deserve thanks for many things, without them the world might not have developed into the world we know and love today. Enough can't be said about the history and importance of these very special sunglasses.

Yep. Bidding starts at $173,000 and the auction ends in 12 hours, so you better get on it. Or, if you want, I'll sell you an iconic Apple hat. It's a real apple hot-glued to a Red Sox cap! Use the 'Buy It Now' option and I'll throw in a watermelon bong. I'm a fruit freak!

Hit the jump for two more pictures (in case you don't know what $0.60 80's glasses look like) and a link to the auction.

Continue Reading " $173,000: Microsoft Sunglasses For Sale "

Aug 13 2008 Wait, What?: Inflatable Art Turd Flies Away

I don't even know. Apparently American artist (artist used very lightly) Paul McCarthy created an exhibit entitled "Complex Shit" that consisted of an inflatable dog turd the size of a house. Well, the inflatable pew got loose from and wreaked havoc in Switzerland.

The wind carried it 200 meters (yards) from the Paul Klee Centre in Berne before it fell back to Earth in the grounds of a children's home, said museum director Juri Steiner.

The inflatable turd broke the window at the children's home when it blew away on the night of July 31, Steiner said. The art work has a safety system which normally makes it deflate when there is a storm, but this did not work when it blew away.

Wow, those kids are officially f***ed for life. Way to go, Paul (I loved Hey Jude by the way). Now I hate to start an argument about whether or not an inflatable dog turd the size of a house should be considered art or not, but I did take an art history class in college, so I am an authority. And let me tell you -- the girl that sat beside me had a pair of Titians on her that would've given Michelango's David a boner.

NOTE: I made the crappy picture. Photo fake, story real.

Flying piece of art causes museum chaos in Switzerland [yahoonews]

Thanks to Ryan, who once flew around the world in 80 days a turd.

Jul 18 2008 Epic Failure: Translate Server Error

If you're ever in China you have got to hit up Translate server error. Best food EVER.

Then we'll grab a bite at 404 Not Found [adfreak]

NOTE: I don't actually know if that's a restaurant or what. Anybody that can read it feel free to add.

Thanks Jason, a problem has been detected and Windows has been shut down to prevent damage to your computer.

Have a great weekend everyone, I'll miss you.

Jul 15 2008 Guy Tries To Rob Pizza Joint, Gets An Extra Large Knocked The Hell Out

There's nothing funnier than when some asshat tries to rob a pizza joint and ends up getting knocked the f*** out. Especially when his wig falls off and an employee realizes it's her dad.

As Stephanie Martinez was getting money out of a cash drawer, a co-worker, Rudy Sandoval, fought back against the intruder, knocking off his wig and sunglasses. Whe she saw the face behind the wig and dark glasses, "I dropped the money," Ms. Martinez said. "I said, 'Don't hit him again! That's my dad!' And he said, 'What's he doing here?' and I said, 'I don't know!' "

Wow, surprisingly, Stephanie was not in on the job, but her mom was. Robbing your daughter's workplace -- now that's family for you. Hold on, door.

UPDATE: It was my dad, he kicked me in the face and stole my wallet.

Skip to 1:15 for the action, 2:45 for a close-up.

Denton pizza employee: Surprised to see dad when wig falls off robber [dallasnews]
and
Do not rob this pizza store [break]

Thanks to Jaybone and Julian, now one of you bring over a pizza. I can't cook and had to dump the girlfriend after I found out she has a thing for some Italian's sausage.

Apr 10 2008 Skirt Mousepad Cover Is Disturbing, Fetishy

I don't even know what to say about this. It's a jean skirt that you put your mouse and mousepad into. That way when you're computing it looks like you have your hand up a skirt and you're clicking around like a crazy person. What in the hell are the matter with these people? Whoever makes these things is freaking nuts. I mean, come on. A lightweight polyester-blend I could understand, but denim? Ridiculous. And sick.

Another picture of the thing in use after the jump.

Continue Reading " Skirt Mousepad Cover Is Disturbing, Fetishy "

Dec 7 2007 Impress Your Date With A Car Of The Future

Want to impress your friends and possibly score a girlfriend? How about purchasing this sweet-ass "Fastlane" car of the future? You can "Buy It Now" on eBay for a cool $15,000. But before you push the button: It's not really a car. It's a shell designed to fit on top of a Pontiac Fiero. Which is not included in the auction. So, yeah. It was designed for Universal Pictures by concept car maker Trans FX for use in a movie or something. I know it can't actually go anywhere, but I still think I want it. I'll just use a flatbed trailer to tote it to the bar and then slide it off into a parking spot. Then I'll proceed to get some lucky lady extremely drunk and ask if she wants to see my fancy sports car from the future. Hopefully she won't notice there's not a goddamn thing inside and will still make out with me while we're sitting on the pavement inside. What, where's my sense? I'll throw a tarp down. I may even add a boombox for some makeout tunage.

Five more pictures after the jump, including one of what you'd see during a makeout session.

Continue Reading " Impress Your Date With A Car Of The Future "