Nov 20 2009 Google: Perfect For Searching AND Wiping
Google toilet paper: made with 100% virgin pulp and available in Vietnam. Per a questionable translation of the text on the bag: "Very long, soft, smooth. Of high vacuum, because you always!" HIGH VACUUM, OF COURSE I ALWAYS! Dingleberry free, just sayin'.
This Google's made from 100% Virgin pulp, not chrome [engadget]
Thanks to wes, who only wipes with Charmin because the dude's a bear.
Nov 12 2009 I Wasn't Looking For That: Mystery Google Gives You Previous Person's Search Query
Type a search query into Mystery Google and you get the results of the last person's search. For example, I searched for a serious medical condition I have, and got the results for "u'v got a face only ur momma could love". Neat? Yes. Helpful? Absolutely not. But don't let that stop you from blowing a few minutes screwing around with it. Remember: every minute wasted is a minute spent kicking the man in the junk. Go on -- kick him. Now do it again. HARDER! Okay now do me.
Thanks to Emortal, Blastphemer and Shadow Sushi, who don't search the interweb, the interweb searches them. So are we we talking like full body or what?
Nov 10 2009 World Of Warcraft Specific Search Engine
Finally, a search engine designed specifically for finding World of Warcraft information. At last, the internet is complete. No, wait -- it still needs an eHarmony for dinosaurs. I don't need 29 degrees of compatibility, I just want something with teeth and a tail! And, okay, wings. Holy shit I'm a dragon lover. Embracing it!
Thanks to Random User, who could be any one of you.
Oct 1 2009 Website Maps People's Sexual Escapades
Honestly, I don't even know what a sexual escapade is. But if it's anything like the Ice Capades you can count me in! No, seriously, I love skating. Anyway, IJustMadeLove.com is a website where users can let the rest of the world they just made love and where the deed was done. Because there's nothing more romantic after coitus than rushing to your laptop to tell the world you just touched a vagina. And as you can see from the map above, basically only North and South Americans are doing it. Plus a couple people in Europe, but they don't count because their penises are notoriously small. INTERCONTINENTAL BURN! But seriously, don't stop reading, Euro fans. You can stop sending pictures though.
Thanks to Romeo, who just pointed out I'm the number one contribuer to IJustMadeLoveToMyself.com
Sep 18 2009 Whee: Now You Can Kanye-Ify Any Website
It was only a matter of time before somebody did this. Because when I was watching the VMA's live from the back of the auditorium through the scope of a sniper rifle, I was wondering how long it would take after the Taylor Swift incident (I love you, Taylor -- you belong with me! Creepily) for somebody to make a Kanye-ify website. Apparently four days. Or maybe sooner, but I just found out about it yesterday. Just add http://kanyelicio.us/ to the front of any URL and presto: jackass everywhere!
Thanks to ViLLaiN, who is working on a Geekologie-ify website. Hell yes, ViLLaiN! I don't care if you are evil, you're a-okay in my book. And to Adam, who used kanyethis.com to make THIS little number. Jerk.
Sep 14 2009 It Just Makes Sense: Animals With Lightsabers
Animalswithlightsabers.com is a website with a bunch of pictures of animals wielding lightsabers. Because, let's face it: animals and lightsabers go together like waking up and drinking. Or going to bed with a bottle of vodka. It just makes people happy.
Hit the jump for several more of my favorites and another link to the website.
Continue Reading " It Just Makes Sense: Animals With Lightsabers "
Sep 2 2009 Makes A Perfect Gift: Man Eating LEGO Pits
Two LEGO posts in a row involving scary shit with teeth -- BOOSH! So some guy started a website called igotyouamaneatingpit.com that sells man-eating pits made of LEGO. These are two examples of the seemingly endless possibilities. Pits start in the low $20's and go up from there. They are completely customizable by choosing a feeding system (person), food escape system (bike, monkey, etc.) and theme pack. They make the perfect gift for that person on your gift list who already has everything -- everything but a man-eating pit! Which, haha, come standard on some female models. I've seen toothy vaginas!
Thanks to Eddy and Jake, who tried to make DUPLO man-eating pits but they just weren't that scary.
Sep 1 2009 Geekologie Readers Find Love On Omegle
Remember the article from a while ago about Omegle, the website that gets you randomly chatting to some stranger with candy? Well two Geekologie Readers hooked up on the site after reading the article about it and are now madly in love and totally gonna get married and have a white picket fence or whatever the hell people do whose marriages don't end in bitter divorce. Per Jessica, the lucky lady:
well i'm in this relationship...and i must tell you we met on the infamous OMEGLE. ...no i am not lying....i totally would have saved our conversation if i'd known we would be in this relationship now....annd...i think we'll end up getting married one day.....HOW WEIRD IS THIS???
How weird is this? More like HOW AWESOME AND CONGRATULATIONS GUYS. I took a stab at OMEGLE-ING love myself (picture above) and you can see how well it worked out for me. Promising in the beginning, penis-y in the end: the life and times of the Geekologie Writer.
Thanks Jessica, Geekologie wishes you two the best.
Aug 27 2009 Freaky: Three Frames Of A Movie At A Time
Three Frames is a website that chooses three frames out of a different movie every day and plays them, looping. It almost gave me a seizure. No, it DID give me a seizure. djla; wl;qwa a la;kaeoee wwpw ww ;llala. Get it? Because I'm shaking so bad! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go back over myself in the face.
Three Frames (slightly NSFW, there's a tasteful boob on the first page)
Aug 26 2009 Microsoft's Questionable Photoshop Job
These pictures come from Microsoft's Business Productivity websites. The top picture is from the US version, and the bottom is from Poland's. Apparently Poland isn't as hip to diversity as other parts of the world. Which reminds me, how many Polish people it takes to Photoshop a black man into a white one? Poles using computers -- BWAHAHAHAHA!
Thanks to Curtis, Norman, Lewis, Chrissy Poopy Pants McBacon Lover, draw and jawn, who once Photoshopped themselves into a picture of Dora the Explorer and Bob the Builder so they could pretend they have celebrity friends.
Aug 25 2009 For Your Car: Web Programming Stickers
Want to let commuters know what you're favorite web programming language is? Well now you can thanks to this 5-pack of CODE Stickers by John Freeborn. $5 takes home all five and I think they're worlds better than the stupid Outer Banks (OBX) stickers I see around here. So you like the beach, WHO DOESN'T? I mean, besides redheads and vampires.
web coder bumper stickers: honk if you love to write code! [technabob]
Aug 6 2009 Two 14-Foot Laptops + Terrible Hosts = This
In an attempt to sell me parts to make a bomb, Radio Shack is hosting 'The Shack Summer Netogether' for the next couple days. What the hell's a netogether? Imagine two 14-foot laptops, one in San Francisco and one in New York. Now imagine two idiot moron hosts with distorted mics talking to each other about the most asinine bullshit. "What do you know about Miami?" "I know they have a basketball team". I'm not even kidding, I almost impaled myself on my laptop. But I didn't because I love you. No, not you, you. Mmmm, those massive jaws and little arms. "RAWR!" OMG -- you know what that does to me!
I'm warning you, it's painful to watch
Thanks to Stephen, who saved himself the trouble and punched himself in the eyes and ears for two hours.
Aug 5 2009 This Page Is Stupid And Cannot Be Displayed
This could be older than dino bones (but NOWHERE NEAR as sexy) for all I know, I just thought it was humorous because I pretty much see this message all the time and it makes me want to put my fist through the computer screen. Which I don't hesitate to do. Seriously, I'm already on like my fourth laptop. Of the day.
This page is stupid and cannot be displayed [org.nz]
Thanks to Nik, who once punched through his monitor and broke one of the internet's tubes.
Jul 15 2009 Geekologie: Legit News Source Cited By CNN
This is the part of the day where I toot my own horn *BLAAAAAT!* because Geekologie is so awesome. So, you remember the post about the texting teen that fell into a manhole? Well CNN cited Geekologie (action is at 0:30) in a television news story about the incident. SHAZAM! Now who's a legitimate news source? This site. Oh, breaking story! -- Geekologie Writer named world's greatest lover. Run with it, CNN.
Texting Accidents: Running Into Posts, Tangled In Dog Leashes [huffingtonpost]
Thanks to Jonathan, who saw the report in the airport and nearly lost his luggage.
Jun 30 2009 Miss You: The Pirate Bay Has Been Sold
The Pirate Bay, one of the world's best known torrent search portals, is being sold to some Swedish firm. It will no longer be so piratey.
Global Gaming Factory X AB, a Swedish firm that runs Internet cafes and game centers, plans to buy The Pirate Bay for 60 million kronor (~$8 million), twice the fine that was slapped on The Pirate Bay defendants by a Stockholm court earlier this year....the new owners plan to make it a legal service that allows "content providers and copyright owners [to] get paid for content that is downloaded via the site."
"Legal service"...."paid for content"....they better change the name.
Pirate Bay sold, to become more like Carnival Cruise Lines [arstechnica]
Thanks to Thumperchica and Zombie Pirate LeChuck, who agrees this isn't even Disney Pirate's Bay any more.
Jun 24 2009 Interesting: Ray Bradbury Hates The Internets
Ray Bradbury, seen here showing you how to properly do an alien, hates the internet. The author, despite his often futuristic, sci-fi themes, may secretly be a unabomber.
"The Internet is a big distraction," said Ray Bradbury, author of Fahrenheit 451 and The Martian Chronicles, while speaking out in defense of libraries in The New York Times.
"Yahoo called me eight weeks ago," he said. "They wanted to put a book of mine on Yahoo! You know what I told them? 'To hell with you. To hell with you and to hell with the Internet.'"It's distracting," he continued. "It's meaningless; it's not real. It's in the air somewhere."
It's not "in the air somewhere", Ray, it's a series of tubes. One minute of fact-checking on Wikipedia could have told you that. Just sayin'.
Ray Bradbury to Yahoo: "To hell with the Internet!" [scifiwire]
Thanks to Chase and FDSY, who love the internet for all the joy porn it brings to their lives.
Jun 12 2009 Skinny Blonde: Australian For Sexy Beer
Skinny Blonde Beer comes from Australia and has a skinny blonde chick on the front of the bottle that, when the temperature gets hot enough, loses her top. And, to give you a demo of this model of modern boobosity, they have the six chicks in the picture above to provide NSFW examples. So, head over to the website (provided you're over 18, or under and don't mind sinning) and give it a go. After watching just the first girl I ordered 30 cases of the stuff. Also, I might have just gotten stuck in a bottle. BWHAHAHAHAH A -- like it's that big!
Skinny Blonde Beer NSFW
Thanks to jlcnuke, who agrees this beer/boob combo is giving explosions and boobs a run for its money.
Jun 12 2009 What Fridays On Geekologie Should Look Like
Look around. Does your desk area match the one in this picture? If not, you're doing it wrong. This is a picture of Geekologie loyalist naas's Friday interweb setup entitled 'fridays on geekologie'. And as you can see, the man really knows how to internet. After all, this is a website best viewed in squinting one-eyed resolution. Vomit optional.
naas' Flickr Stream (with a bunch more booze and a ton of shots from Japan)
Thanks to naas, who urges you all to please, Geekologie responsibly.
Jun 9 2009 Fun Website: Let Me Google That For You
Let me Google That For You (LMGTFY) is a fun website that allows you to send links to people that effectively Google a topic for them because they're idiots. Click HERE to see an example I made. Pretty awesome, huh? I thought so. Don't agree? Click HERE.
Thanks to Randy, who once Googled Google and made the interwebs explode.
Jun 7 2009 WoW Gold Farming Website Pays $500K For Tattoo Ad On Adult Film Star's Ample Chest
Russian adult film star Anna Morgan (seen above, possibly named after that chick in The Ring) was paid $500,000 to get a tattoo on her natural DD breasts advertising a World of Warcraft gold-selling website. Ah, capitalism. Also, breast advertisement ever.
The WoW Gold selling website, MyMMOShop.com has paid Russian porn star Anna Morgan to tattoo their company's logo and website URL to her breasts. The company feels that her natural dd sized breasts will provide an ample space for the advertisement. Given the number of films porn stars tend to make in a year's time, the tattoo should be seen many thousands of times. Anna has agreed not to alter the tattoo for at least two years.
Wow, I don't know what to say. This is simultaneously the most brilliant and saddest thing I've ever heard. I don't know whether I should laugh or cry or try to motorboat my monitor. BWUBWUBWUBWWUB! I chose wisely.
Porn Star Paid $500,000 To Tattoo Company URL & Logo To Her DD Breasts [newsguide]
Thanks to Troy, who once ran a Snuggie ad on his junk. The rest, is history.
