Nov 19 2009 Just Make Your Own: Cantena Chain Clock

I like this clock. I can't exactly say why but I think it's because it costs $2,338 and is definitely something my son team of highly skilled artisans could recreate for a fraction of the cost, ultimately saving you, the sucker, a bundle.

one of our favorite wall clocks, the catena wall clock harkens back to traditional mechanical clocks. copper digits mounted onto a bicycle chain place emphasis on the cyclical nature of time. this clock is a striking clock, literally and figuratively.

IT'S A GEAR AND BICYCLE CHAIN. Sure it's awesome looking but you can't justify a $2,400 pricetag. Besides, what if some punk steals my chain for his BMX? Then I'm timeless! Which, God just look at my chiseled features, I really am.

Product Site

Thanks to Danundertheice and darwyn4, who know what time it is. Am I right, Flavor Flav? Nice viking helmet.

Oct 8 2009 Glass And Brass: This Steampunk-y Table

This is a steampunk inspired side-table created by Tom Spina Designs (the same man responsible for the Han Solo frozen in carbonite desk). Prices start around $1000 and vary depending on size and design. I want one. Granted it may just be a bunch of painted PVC pipes and a couple gauges and glass baubles, but I could never make one. And that has nothing to do with the fact that I've been drinking all morning. Haha, now I see two tables. No -- three! Aaaaaand I'm puking in my mouth. I feel noodles. WHEN DID I EAT NOODLES?!?!

Product Site (with a couple other sweet products as well -- I'm looking at you, t-rex desk and skull throne)

Thanks to Tom, the man behind the brass curtain. Now send me one.

Aug 28 2009 Perfect With A Lead Vest: The X-Ray Umbrella

The x-ray umbrella is an umbrella with x-rays all over the damn place. It does NOT allow you to see through a woman's shirt. Unless she's wearing white and it's pouring out, in which case, yes, it does do that. And I've got to tell you: as a guy who's broken his arm twice in the same place and now has a plate and a bunch of screws in there (I am NOT a robot, just a man with an advanced biomechanical arm), I'm no stranger to x-rays. Or those gamma joints. You hear that, Hulk? I will arm wrestle the shit out of you!

X-ray umbrella makes the rain not seem so bad [dvice]

Mar 9 2009 Cloud Umbrella Looked Better As Rendering

The Cloud Umbrella is an umbrella that you blow up when it starts to rain using it's pump-handle. Then it looks like a cloud and all the passers-by get a laugh at the cleverness that is your umbrella. Just kidding. They wonder why you're carrying around bunch of white beach balls on the end of a stick. Also, seven years bad luck if you open it indoors. Speaking of which -- you know why you've had it so hard lately? Yeah, you remember that mirror I broke? Well, I told God you did it.

Cloud Umbrella keeps your head in the sky while you stay dry [dvice]

Aug 6 2008 Hail Explodes Out Of Man's Toilet While In Use

Austrian man Martin Bierbauer was minding his own business, you know, getting his crap on, possibly flipping through a magazine or dirty joke book, when KA-BOOM! -- he was ass-blasted off the toilet by a barrage of hailstones from the shitty depths.

"I heard the pipes rumbling a bit, and suddenly hailstones the size of golf balls started exploding out of the toilet like it was a popcorn machine. There was an avalanche of ice that quickly filled the toilet, then the entire flat, and eventually the entire building. I ran down the stairs with the hailstones following me, and other residents did the same."

The incident at the block of flats in Eisenstadt, the capital of the province of Burgenland, was caused by hailstones flooding into a local drain during a torrential downpour, which became blocked.

Local council spokesman Wolfgang Leinner said: "The pressure was too great, the hailstones had to go somewhere and they came out through the toilets it seems."

Haily shit.

Toilet rained giant hailstones to fill building [austriantimes]

Thanks to Kevin, who was using the john once when a Gremlin reached up and grabbed his balls.

Jul 15 2008 Scientists Collect Cow Toots To Better Understand Their Effects On Global Warming

Argentinian scientists are collecting cow gas in an effort to understand how the methane produced by our bovine brethren is affecting the global solar cooker we call earth and its atmosphere.

As one of the world's biggest beef producers, Argentina has more than 55 million cows grazing in its famed Pampas grasslands.

Guillermo Berra, a researcher at the National Institute of Agricultural Technology, said every cow produces between 800 to 1,000 liters of emissions every day.

Methane, which is also released from landfills, coal mines and leaking gas pipes, is 23 times more effective at trapping heat in the atmosphere than carbon dioxide.

Every cow produces 1,000 liters of emissions? Holy hellfire. I can't believe we can even breathe anymore. The scientists hope that by understanding the process by which cattle produce methane, they'll be able to alter their diets to produce less of the gas. Well call me old fashioned, but I think there's a much more logical, less scientific method for getting a cow to produce less tootage -- make them huff their own gas bags. Now I don't like awards ceremonies, so just go ahead and send the Nobel Prize to my parent's house.

Cow farts collected in plastic tank for global warming study [telegraph]

Thanks Jim and Julian, is it true that huffing cow ass gets you high?

Jul 1 2008 When Airplanes Get Hit By Lightning

Not much happens, as the metal shell of the plane acts as a hollow conductor, and the lightning just continues on its way to the ground.

But why doesn't the gigantic amount of current, which is in the neighborhood of 20,000 amps for a typical lightning bolt, harm the passengers inside the aircraft? Because the hull of the plane forms a Faraday cage! A Faraday cage is a hollow shell made of conducting material. A strong electric field outside the cage will force the charge in the material of the cage to redistribute itself, but the interior space inside the cage remains uncharged.

It's still neat to watch though. But that's not why I posted this. I posted this because how did the person filming know the plane was going to get hit by lightning? Here, I'll give you a hint -- sorcery.

An Electric Aviation Experience [popsci]
via
What Happens When Lightning Strikes Your Plane? [uberreview]

Jun 17 2008 Tornado Picture Taken By A Crazy Woman

When I see a tornado I think, "holy shit, I'm gonna die and I haven't even seen a real-life boob", definitely not, "let me grab the camera and snap a couple shots." Well last tuesday, Lori Mehmen of Orchard Iowa did just that, and this is the result. Not sure if she was planning on documenting her trip to Oz or if she just had a death wish, but either way she ended up with an amazing shot. Thankfully, no one was injured in this particular tornado except some green hag that had a house fall on her. Yeah, and when nobody was looking I ganked her shoes. Later suckers! "There's no place like the strip club, there's no place like the strip club..."

UPDATE: So it turns out this isn't a tornado after all. It's just a "very picturesqe supercell with a pronounced low hanging meso". HA! -- "pronounced low hanging mesos". I've got a pair of those.

Why You Should Carry a Digital Camera At All Times [gizmodo]

Thanks Melissa, you want to help me lift this house? I want to check the body for jewelry.

Feb 28 2008 Cloud Streets Are Streets Of Clouds, Magical

Cloud streets are lines of clouds that form in unusual conditions.

The most favorable conditions for their formation occur when the lowermost layer of air is unstable, but is capped by an inversion-by a stable layer of air. This often occurs when upper air is subsiding, such as under anticyclonic conditions, and is also frequently found when radiation fog has formed overnight. Convection occurs below the inversion, with air rising in thermals below the clouds and sinking in the air between the streets.

There's a video of a plane flying over them after the jump, and I think you'll agree that these clouds are clearly the work of an evil sorcerer. Why the hell he's spending his time making cloud streets is anyone's guess, but I have a sneaking suspicion it has something to do with mobilizing his dragon army. I swear, those dragons are so freaking stupid they'd get lost without a line to follow. He needs to start breeding those dumb bastards with TomToms in their brains.

Continue for the video.

Continue Reading " Cloud Streets Are Streets Of Clouds, Magical "

Feb 21 2008 It's About Freaking Time: The Nubrella

The Nubrella is a $60 hands-free umbrella. If you can't tell from the pictures it's fairly ridiculous looking. Now I've never been one to really care what I look like, particularly out in the elements, but I still don't think I could bring myself to don a Nubrella.

Nubrella is no ordinary umbrella, it stops rain, wind, snow and extreme cold- and keeps your head, face and shoulders drier than ever. It offers more protection, guaranteed! Yet, nubrella went one step further and is changing the game forever. With nubrella's new patent pending "shoulder straps" and "offset handle" you can now be completely hands free!

Wow, "changing the game forever", that's a pretty bold statement. Now exactly what game are we talking about here? I need to know so I'm never caught accidentally playing. Nubrella - I'd rather be soaked.

A couple more ridiculous pictures after the jump.

Continue Reading " It's About Freaking Time: The Nubrella "

Jan 30 2008 Ball-Headed Robots Monitor Pollen Levels

Weathernews, a weather forecasting company out of Tokyo, is going to use these ball-shaped robots to monitor pollen levels this coming spring.

The so-called “Pollen Robots,” which weigh 1 kilogram (2.2 lbs) and measure 30 centimeters (1 ft) across, consist of a monitoring unit housed in a spherical styrofoam shell. A pair of eyes glow 5 different colors — white, blue, green, red and purple — to indicate the level of Japanese cedar and cypress pollen in the air.

There are going to be 200 of them across the country, each hung outside a volunteer's home. They will send data every minute to the company's headquarters, which will be used to update the online pollen maps they have available. I'm not sure what the proper protocol for a 'code purple' pollen day is, but my guess is running around in the streets waving your arms and screaming. Which, incidentally, is the same for a Godzilla attack.

Pollen Robots [pinktentacle]

Thanks as always to Melissa, who is only allergic to bad taste, for the tip

Nov 8 2007 Stripping Weathergirl: No Movement In Pants

The Weathergirl Weather Station ($70) is a home weather station that features the time, temperature, and humidity. It also features a scantily clad weathergirl that gets down to a bikini if it's hot enough. YOW YOW! I don't know what she wears if it's freezing out, because these were the only pictures available. Maybe she's content with a mini-dress in the winter. I know I am. On women -- not me silly. Now if the damn Weather Channel would take a hint and start dressing their weathergirls a little more like this one maybe I'd start tuning in instead of getting the weather online.

Stripping Weathergirl Weather Station [coolest-gadgets]