Jul 1 2009 Bacon Boys: Cutest Picture On The Planet?
No, the one on the right is ruining it.
Product Site (actually for fake gift box, indicating THIS might not be real either)
Thanks to Henry, Marley, Biff Tannen, quasievil, mrs. Willy, Herson, Kassie, Klay and whoever else may have sent this: even wrapped in lettuce, you'd still look good.
Jul 25 2007 Pac-Man Plush Head
Looking for the greatest hat ever? Look no further. club NAMCO is selling a Pac-Man Plush Head for $29.99. If wearing this on dates doesn't get you laid, nothing will. Well, except for maybe taping a picture of my face over yours.
Jul 19 2007 Family Ring
Designer Gerd Rothmann from Germany has created the Family Ring, which is similar to the fingerprint wedding band, except that instead of just putting your spouse's fingerprint on your ring you can put your entire family's. Well, up to four of them at least. Unfortunately, the ring itself is hideous. This is what you would get if you were asked to design a ring and put as little effort into it as possible. They just took a block and drilled a hole through it.
Jul 18 2007 BODiBEAT matches music to exercise for you
Yamaha is introducing its BODiBEAT which they claim is "the first music playback device that synchronizes your music to the movement of your workout." It monitors your pulse and then selects music for you based on the pace of your exercise. The thing costs $300 and has 512MB of flash memory. Although I wonder what it would pick for me while I'm doing my daily workout of bench pressing 800 pounds. Maybe some Yanni? A little Britney Spears perhaps?
Jul 18 2007 The Pillowig
Designer Joo Youn Paek put together the Pillowig, which is exactly what it sounds like: a wig made out of a pillow. And contrary to popular belief, this is definitely 100% the most useful thing you will ever own.
Jul 17 2007 MIT designs sleek, skintight spacesuit
The folks at MIT have developed a new space suit to allow greater mobility for astronauts called the BioSuit. They expect to have it ready for use in about ten years, and it would be invaluable for missions to someplace like Mars, where current spacesuits are just too bulky.
Newman's prototype suit is a revolutionary departure from the traditional model. Instead of using gas pressurization, which exerts a force on the astronaut's body to protect it from the vacuum of space, the suit relies on mechanical counter-pressure, which involves wrapping tight layers of material around the body. The trick is to make a suit that is skintight but stretches with the body, allowing freedom of movement.Key to their design is the pattern of lines on the suit, which correspond to lines of non-extension (lines on the skin that don't extend when you move your leg). Those lines provide a stiff "skeleton" of structural support, while providing maximal mobility.
This thing looks like it was pulled out of a cartoon. If they actually get it to work it'll completely change the way I look at astronauts. Namely with more boners.
Jul 17 2007 Fingerprint Wedding Bands
Jeweler Andrew English has designed wedding bands which are hand-engraved with the fingerprint of the partner so that they're completely unique to each couple. They're only available by commission and come in 9, 14 and 18ct white/yellow/rose gold and platinum. The bands are available in a number of styles with the fingerprint hand-engraved on either the inside or outside of the band. There's no price listed, but I'm assuming it's a bit out of my league. Although to be fair, a stale Funyun is out of my league.
Jul 16 2007 NOW Watch
Have friends? Want to get rid of them? I'm sure the NOW Watch can help you out. From the product site:
The most accurate time piece ever invented! Precisely accurate in all time zones throughout the entire universe. A timely reminder of the only moment that really matters - NOW. The NOW watch consists of reflective metallic lettering on a traditional watch face that rests on a black leather cuff band. The black unisex design fits all wrists on both men and women.
It's a fun idea, but it should come with an ice pack, because every time somebody asks you the time and you whip this out and tell them "Now" you're going to get punched in the eye. Or the stomach. Or the crotch. And all for the low low price of $49.95.
Jul 12 2007 Avatar Machine
Avatar Machine is a custom rig designed so the wearer can see themselves in the third person, as if they were playing an online game.
The virtual communities created by online games have provided us with a new medium for social interaction and communication. Avatar Machine is a system which replicates the aesthetics and visuals of third person gaming, allowing the user to view themselves as a virtual character in real space via a head mounted interface. The system potentially allows for a diminished sense of social responsibility, and could lead the user to demonstrate behaviors normally reserved for the gaming environment.
This is hilarious and sad on so many levels. But mostly hilarious. Check out the video after the jump.
Jul 11 2007 Darth Vader Supreme Edition Costume
If you've got $850 to spare, you can get this Darth Vader Supreme Edition Costume which was actually made using the original Darth Vader molds. Pretty much everything is included, including all the body parts, the helmet, and even a breathing sound device. Although I can't tell if this is supposed to be displayed or actually worn. Wait, what am I talking about? It's for super nerds, so clearly it's for making love to!
Jul 11 2007 Philippe Starck's Veiled Watch
Designer Philippe Starck put together the Veiled Watch which hides the face behind a specially electroplated crystal to mimic the breaks in the bracelet. The design creates the effect that the watch is just a continuous metal band. You can the watch for $150 off Fossil which they describe as:
The crystal is specially electroplated to mimic the breaks in the bracelet, and the sides of the case continue the effect with carefully etched details for design continuity. The crown is a case-back pusher to continue the uncluttered elegance of this style. The shiny stainless steel bracelet is designed to remain thin and comfortable wtih hidden links.
It's a neat concept, but if people can't tell you're wearing a watch they'll think you're wearing a bracelet. A giant silver bracelet. Which is cool for chicks, but should I also invest in some high heels and a skirt?
Jul 9 2007 Nixon Lodown LCD Tide Watch
Nixon's Lodown digital watch is pre-programmed with tide charts for 200 beaches around the world for the next 15 years. It uses a backlit LCD screen which shows a pixel graph of the current surf height. It's made from reinforced polycarbonate, is water resistant up to 100 meters, and costs about $90. Although I don't understand how they managed to pre-program tides for the next 15 years. Isn't it just a bunch of wild guessing at that point?
Jul 2 2007 Kickbar diamonds for your shoes
Are you a ridiculous human being? Then you'll enjoy Kickbars, which are jewel-encrusted shoelace clips made with emeralds, sapphires, rubies, or diamonds set in white gold. The Kickbar features a 2 carat rectangular bar fitted with 54 diamonds and costs $7,500. Although I can't figure out who the market for this is. Anybody dumb enough to buy a $7,500 shoelace clip couldn't possibly have $7,500 saved up. Heck, I'd be surprised if they had $7.50 saved up. The only thing they'd have in their savings account is a half-eaten hamburger.
Jun 27 2007 Mobile Protector
If you find yourself in the market for a super ugly cell phone holster, check out the StrapYa Mobile Protector. It costs $25 and looks like it was built out of junk some guy found in his garage. I mean cell phone holsters are nerdy enough, but this is pushing the limits of human comprehension. You'd look cooler if you just duct taped your cell phone to your waist.
Jun 25 2007 PuchiPuchi Bubble Wrap Toy
Bandi has introduced the PuchiPuchi infinite bubble wrap toy, which tries to capture the fun of popping bubble wrap on a tiny toy key chain. It's designed to mimic the sound and feel of popping bubble wrap, and for every 100 pops will include a “door chime”, “barking dog”, “fart”, or “sexy voice.” It was even designed with the Puchipuchi bubble wrap company, meaning it's probably the most realistic bubble wrap simulator in the world. Assuming, of course, there are other bubble wrap simulators. And why wouldn't there be? Sure, cancer is still a problem, but dammit, I need more scientists working on my bubble wrap simulators.
Jun 22 2007 Catapult Watch
The catapult watch is exactly what it sounds like, a watch that's also a catapult. It shoots BBs, dried peas, basically anything you can fit into the little launcher on the face. It's made out of stainless steel and claims to be able to shoot the projectiles up to 8 feet across the room. You can get them for $49, although it might be a better idea to keep your money and stick to just throwing things with your arm. Because, well, look at it. I'm not stylish by any sense of the word, but I'd rather tape a wall clock to my wrist.
Jun 21 2007 Cell Phone Handcuff Strap
Strap-Ya is selling this cell phone strap that looks like a set of tiny metallic handcuffs. The handcuffs actually lock with the included keys, so you can use them to attach your phone to your belt strap. Or do whatever else it is you'd want to do with tiny functional handcuffs. I guess you could, I dunno, arrest some fingers or something.
Jun 20 2007 Bulgari Assioma Multicomplication Squelette $155k Watch
The Bulgari Assioma Tourbillon Multicomplication Squelette is a watch which features a perpetual calendar as well as a tourbillon. The case is made from platinum and has double sapphire cyrstals, and the tourbillon movement employs the Caliber BVL 416 which has a 64 hour power reserve. The watch is limited edition and only twenty will be made, with each costing $155,000. Which sounds like a totally reasonable price. Because, you know, it makes sense for your watch to cost more than your car. Although I drive a cardboard box on wheels, so a Burger King watch would probably cost more than my car.
Jun 19 2007 Wear Your Seat
The Wear Your Seat is basically a semi-rigid padded cushion that you wear on your back so you can sit down comfortably no matter where you are. It actually looks pretty comfortable, but they can't actually expect to sell any of these can they? I mean, look at it. The only people that would actually wear this in public are neon TMNT fans and people who hate themselves.
