Oct 19 2009 BOOM!: Massive Underwater Mine Detonation
This is an old-ass video of somebody's (the French's?) Navy detonating an underwater mine. The picture quality is pretty poor but the explosion is amazing and I'm not afraid to admit I got aroused. Twice. Plus I love how at the very end they realize their boat's gonna be capsized by the resulting wave and start going apeshit. Talk about poor planning -- that's something I would do! But it's cool because I'm a blogger and not a Navy.
Thanks to Trogdolorian, who plans on traveling back in time to seize and burninate a castle.
Oct 1 2009 Pew Pew Pew!: Fallout 3 Laser Rifle Replica
Harrison Krix of Volpin Props (who also made the amazingly realistic ADAM syringe) went and constructed an accurate replica of the AER9 Laser Rifle from Fallout 3 out of wood. In 30 hours. With only minimal black magic. I want it. After all, life is all about the pews. Obvioiusly, I'm talking about those chairs at church. I can't stand and pray for shit!
Build Page [volpinprops] (with a ton of pics, including the build)
and
Make your own Fallout 3 laser rifle for fun and profit [dvice]
Thanks to Trav and SC2ZERGOMG, who once shot each other in the eyes with lasers and are now both legally blind. Good going, guys. At least you get eyepatches!
Sep 21 2009 Not For Airline Travel: Ninja Kunai USB Drive
A dangerously metal USB drive shaped like a ninja knife, it just makes sense. The 2GB Ninja Kunai drives cost $125 and are in no way, shape or form safe for airplane travel. Or train. Now that I think about it, I wouldn't even drive anywhere with one. Because I used to keep a little pen knife on my keychain and now I push the gas with a peg. Which brings me to an important point: Pirate for hire. Now I know what you're thinking, and yes, I do bachelor parties.
Ninja Kunai USB Drive: the tech equivalent of getting a foreign language tattoo [engadget]
Thanks to Harrison, who once stabbed a foe with a traditional USB drive and lost all his data.
Sep 17 2009 Zombie Shooting Targets Now Available
Tired of shooting at the same boring silhouettes when you're getting your gun on? Well why not prepare for the imminent zombie apocalypse and get your pew on at the same time with these zombie-themed shooting targets?
Full color Zombie Poster Targets. Designed for fun at the range or for your next league's Zombie Shoot. Features shaded scoring lines in both head & brain that cannot be seen at shooting distances.
Prices start at $1.50 a pop and decrease with quantity ordered. I just bought 1,000 so I could get them for $0.69 AND I DON'T EVEN OWN A GUN! Now lasers, lasers are a different story. You will never take them from me! I'm looking at you, future Amendment XXXII. Cold dead hands, just sayin'. *pew pew!*
Thanks to Patrick, who once beat a paper zombie target to death with a shovel. You know, for principle.
Aug 18 2009 What Could Go Wrong?: Zombie Themed Bar
Donny Dirk's Zombie Den is a zombie themed bar in Minneapolis, Minnesota. I don't know how I feel about it.
The stunning new interior comes straight out of a 1950s Las Vegas lounge (the classic part). The zombie stuff (i.e. the kitsch) is hilarious, and more nuanced than you'd expect from a bar named Donny Dirk's Zombie Den. In the corner, a small chainsaw sits inside a glass case that reads "In case of zombie attack, break glass." The bartenders all dress like Simon Pegg in "Shaun of the Dead" -- white button-up, red tie and blood stains. The friendly female servers wear long black gowns. Again: This is a classy zombie joint.
First of all, classy and zombie should never appear in the same sentence unless we're talking about an undead Mr. Peanut or Monopoly. And secondly, a zombie bar, not unlike a robot bar, is a bad idea. There's a reason you're not allowed to bring weapons into drinking establishments, you know. A stupid reason. pew pew!
Zombie resurrection [startribune]
Thanks to deadbodyman, whose dinosaur bar I always rent for my private parties.
Aug 7 2009 Why Not?: Playing Half-Life With A Real Gun
This is a video showing how, with a piece of sheetrock, a handful of accelerometers and a digital projector, you can play Half-Life by firing at the projected screen with a real gun. The first two minutes of the video explains how the system works, so if you don't care you can shoot(!) straight to 1:55 to check out the game play. Which, I should warn you, won't work with a regular LCD television. Or will it?!
UPDATE: It won't. And, uh-oh, looks like the Geek Squad is calling the cops.
Thanks to Alexandra, who actually knows the guys who made this and should introduce me so that I can shoot guns with them. pew pew!
Aug 6 2009 Fisticups: Because I'm Not A Morning Person
Sure we've already seen brass knuckle inspired coffee receptacles in the past, but, quite frankly, those ones didn't look as good (I did like the blood splatter though). Now the Fisticup from Fred (available mid-September for around $15) -- this is a coffee mug I can really sink my fingers into. But a warning: I will mug you in the face if you even think about asking me to do any work before lunch. You hear that, Steve? You hear that, Dan? Otherwise, two guys, one fisticup, I WILL MAKE THAT HAPPEN.
Fisticup [buzzfeed]
Thanks to Gino, who one punched a coworker with his coffee mug and spilled bourbon everywhere and that's how we all found out he drinks all day at work.
Aug 3 2009 It's About Time: Attaching Lasers To Airplanes
Applied Electronics, a company we last saw developing lightning guns, has now been handed a big ass check by the gubment to start strapping lasers to planes. And, I, for one, am all about it. NEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOW -- pew pew!
the Navy and the Marines have given a company called Applied Electronics about a million dollars to attach lasers onto planes. The weapons would be ultra-short-pulse (USP) lasers, which shoot beams of frequent-pulse light that create a path through the air, via which bolts of electricity can travel toward a target.
Okay, I have no idea what all that meant, but I'm pretty sure Zeus just popped like 16 electric boners.
Company Last Seen Making Lightning Guns Is Now Attaching Lasers To Planes [popsci]
Thanks to Mih0, who, for two tips in a row, gets to yell "lightning bolt!" and hit me in face with a foam dart.
Jun 18 2009 Gorilla Gets All Stabby At Calgary Zoo
A gorilla at the Calgary Zoo picked up a knife left by one of its keepers and threatened to stab another primate if it didn't reveal the whereabouts of its banana horde. Okay, not really. But it did swing the knife around menacingly. I lie. BITCH I'LL CUT YOU!
"He grabbed the knife exactly in the correct position and he smelled it and looked at it," said Calgarian Joe Scheffler, who was at the zoo with his wife, Heike. "A few seconds later, another gorilla came and he was very interested.
"He tried to get the knife, but the gorilla with the knife lifted the knife for his buddy . . . it seems to me that the gorilla with the knife was a little bit angry and he lifted his hand with the knife."It was just (like) a scene from a crime," added Scheffler, whose wife snapped photos of the incident.
Suddenly, as though it sensed danger, Scheffler said the second gorilla stepped away and the knife-wielding gorilla walked a short distance and placed it on an old chair in the exhibit.
Oh man, animals with weapons. This reminds me of the future!
Gorilla caught holding knife at Calgary Zoo [calgaryherald]
Thanks to Jeremy, who once brought a lightsaber to a knife fight but was disqualified for cheating.
Jun 15 2009 Raytheon Gets Contract For Laser Weapon
Raytheon, a company best known for my brother and I both swearing we saw an airplane land on top of one of their buildings in Huntsville, Alabama, has received a Navy contract to draw up the initial design of a powerful burning 100-kW Fee Electron Laser (which may or may not look like an automotive engine) to be mounted on seagoing vessels. Pew pew? No. PEW PEW!
Once designed, the naval operators could adjust the wavelength of the laser, which wasn't possible with conventional lasers. This helps compensate for the varying humidity associated with ship-borne situations.
The laser beams could be used against missiles, airplanes, or even boats.
I need one of these for my car. Seriously, I'm tired of sitting in traffic. And let me tell you, I don't just road rage, I road man-rage. You ever seen a guy tear off his own steering wheel, jam it down an air-conditioning vent and then sob uncontrollably? If you've ridden with me you have.
Navy/Raytheon working on 100kW weaponized laser: cue the 'pew-pew' sound effects [dvice]
Jun 5 2009 XM-25 Shoots Laser Guided Exploding Bullets
I haven't decided if the new XM-25 will be a useful weapon against the robotic uprising yet, but I'm leaning towards *pew pew*. Hook me up government, I pay my damn taxes. Well, I did last year anyways.
The system is clever enough to detonate its exploding 25mm bullets within 3 feet of their targets, picking off unfortunate foes with uncanny accuracy, even when they're hiding behind obstacles.
After calculating the target's distance with a laser rangefinder, this lethal weapon sends a radio signal to a chip inside the bullet. That brilliant projectile can precisely measure the distance it's traveled, exploding at precisely the right distance for maximum killage.
Oh shit yeah I need one of these. Maximum killage, that's what I'm talking about. You here that, Skynet -- MAXIMUM KILLAGE. I will ride into battle atop my trusty tyrannosaur steed and pew pew your shit all up. Then, my mount will dine on all the dead Terminators while I reach around him for a job well done.
Jun 2 2009 PEW PEW!: World's Strongest Laser Unveiled
The world's strongest laser was unveiled in California last week. It's not actually a single laser though, it's 192 individual ones all focused on the same spot. Cheating! It's going to be used to ensure the US nuclear weapon stockpile is still functional in case Russia starts bitching out. Also, some space shit.
The super laser, officially known as the National Ignition Facility, was unveiled Friday before thousands of people at the Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory.
Beginning next year scientists will use the laser for experiments aimed at creating controlled fusion reactions similar to those found in the sun."More energy will be produced by this ignition process than the amount of laser energy required to start it. This is the long-sought goal of energy gain that has been the goal of fusion researchers for more than half a century," said NIF director Edward Moses.
'National Ignition Facility'? That's the worst name ever. Why wasn't there a contest to get to name the thing? Because it'll always be the PEWINATOR to me. Which, haha, is the same thing I named my junk penis. But seriously, don't stare directly at it.
World's strongest laser unveiled at Calif. lab [sfgate]
Thanks to Watch-303, catch22, Luis, Doug, Hunter and Phil, who did stare directly at it and paid the price. $10.
Jan 30 2009 Really, Really Bad Idea: An MP3 Grenade
Folks, I've had a lot of really bad ideas in my life. And followed through with most of them. But that's neither here nor there, because one thing I never did was mod an inactive grenade into an MP3 player. Inside, modder Matt stuffed a 2GB Sansa Clip MP3 player. Hey Matt, you ever hear the story about that one guy that suspected that other guy of being a terrorist and called Homeland Security on him? Yeah, what's your address?
Hit the jump for another view of the guts.
Continue Reading " Really, Really Bad Idea: An MP3 Grenade "
Jan 27 2009 Google Street View Catches Epic Battle
Fess up, which two of you is this?
Google Maps
Thanks to jonah, Wesche and dave, who all swear it isn't them.
Jan 26 2009 Interchangeable Ties: An Obama Action Figure
This presidential action figure is certainly a step above Chia Obama. Available in Japan, Action Obama comes complete with interchangeable ties, hands, and weaponry. He can hold an American flag, microphone, gun, katana, and even a lightsaber. He cannot, however, hold a bachelor party for shit. WHERE WERE THE STRIPPERS, BARACK? I swear.
Random Japanese Obama Action Figure [buzzfeed]
Thanks to Jacen, Ray, MechanicalApe, John and Brit, who are all too old to play with action figures but still do because they're that cool.
Dec 29 2008 PEW PEW: Cops' New Non-Lethal Weaponry
That thing doesn't even look real. It looks like a gun out of a video game. Or something cardboard Halo kid would make. But no, it's real (nonlethal) weapon.
Pictured above is the PHaSR, the bad-ass "Personnel Halting and Stimulation Response" rifle that's just about ready for deployment. It puts the hurt on you by dazzling you with laser light, while also burning your skin with an infrared laser.
PHaSR, very clever. I would have gone with PEW! though: Personal Eradication Weapon!. But hey, what do I know? I'm only a guy that practically comes up with acronyms for a living. Anyway, there's another weapon coming too, the ADS, or Active Denial System (which should clearly be the Active Incendiary Denial System), capable of shooting a 6-foot wide microwave beam that makes you feel all hot and bothered, but, on the plus side, can cook a frozen burrito like that.
Two fearsome non-lethal weapons on their way to cops' hands [dvice]
Dec 6 2008 Yes Please: An A-10 Warthog Motorcycle
The A-10 Thunderbolt II (aka Warthog) is a plane that never fails to make me swoon. I don't know if it's the styling or the 30mm Gatling gun in it's mouth, but my god does that plane do something to me. And now the guys over at ICON Motorsports have gone and made an A-10 inspired motorcycle. Complete with 800-watt sound system, 8-inch LCD screen and minigun, the bike is clearly ready for combat. And by combat I obviously mean me in my "If you can read this, my bitch fell off" t-shirt.
Hit the jump for a bunch of closeups and a little artsy film ICON made for the bike.
Dec 4 2008 Terrorist LEGO Minifigs Stir Controversy
I can't say that I'm surprised, but apparently people are taking offense to LEGO minifigs that have been modded (by BrickArms) to resemble terrorists and Nazis.
Mohammed Shaffiq of Muslim organisation The Ramadhan Foundation told The Sun the figures were 'absolutely disgusting'. He said: 'It is glorifying terrorism - the makers should be ashamed. We should be coming together to unite against terrorism but how is that possible when children are playing with toys like this?'
Last night the business's founder Will Chapman said: 'It's not my intention to glorify terrorism or Nazis - but kids love the bad guys. He added: 'I can see why people might get offended but that is not what I'm trying to do. We have sold thousands and thousands of them.'
He later added: 'CHA-CHING!'
When reached for comment, the Geekologie Writer had this to say about the figures: 'Finally, terrorists versus Nazis! PEW PEW.'
Hit the jump for a few more of the offensive minifigs.
Continue Reading " Terrorist LEGO Minifigs Stir Controversy "
Dec 2 2008 Let's Play Dress Up!: Officially Licensed Gears Of War Armor Suits And Assault Rifles
This is an officially licensed Gears of War armor suit and Lancer assault rifle. They're made by Nightmare Armor Studios and probably cost a pretty penny. I couldn't actually find the price for the armor, but the Lancer alone will set you back 950 bones of your enemies. However, if you're poor, you can always make your own suit out of cardboard. Because that's what The Superficial Writer did. And I've gotta admit: the Locust Horde is gonna rape his ass.
Hit the jump for several more of the wickedness.
Dec 1 2008 Yes Please!: A Sweet Chainsaw Bayonet
So I was out shooting the ol' shotgun the other day, and I thought to myself, "self, could blasting the hell out of this stump get any more awesome?" And the answer, dear reader, is yes, a chainsaw bayonet would have totally made it awesomer. PEW PEW, BRUUUM BRUUUM BR BR BRUUUM!! Oh yeah, that's the stuff. The stuff of boners.
Hit the jump to see a picture of the saw mounted on a shotgun, along with a video of a guy terrorizing pumpkins with the AR-15/saw combo. Fun for all ages!
