Oct 21 2009 WoW Tankard O' Terror To Be Real Product

I'm not allowed to play World of Warcraft anymore because my mom canceled my account but I'm still buying this Tankard O' Terror stein because I want to brain my enemies with it. For those of you not the know, the Tankard O' Terror is a mace weapon dropped by Coren Dinebrew during the 2009 BrewFest event in the game.

Those guilty of emaciating their bodies by whiling away months of life in World of Warcraft are probably going to have a little trouble with the heft of this 4 lb tankard, especially if it is filled to its two-liter capacity (which will add another 4.5lbs to the overall weight).

The tankard will cost $50 and be available in January. Plus, I heard chugging the full stein provides +10 drunkeness. Better equip your Pukey Boots!

Product Site
via
Tankard O'Terror Replica Stein, a Manly Vessel For Uber-geeks [uberreview]

Aug 7 2009 Why Not?: Playing Half-Life With A Real Gun

This is a video showing how, with a piece of sheetrock, a handful of accelerometers and a digital projector, you can play Half-Life by firing at the projected screen with a real gun. The first two minutes of the video explains how the system works, so if you don't care you can shoot(!) straight to 1:55 to check out the game play. Which, I should warn you, won't work with a regular LCD television. Or will it?!

UPDATE: It won't. And, uh-oh, looks like the Geek Squad is calling the cops.

Youtube

Thanks to Alexandra, who actually knows the guys who made this and should introduce me so that I can shoot guns with them. pew pew!

May 29 2009 Geekologie Reader Makes Himself Lightsaber

Geekologie Reader Ike, the same one who successfully played poker on a roller coaster, went and made himself a lightsaber. Although, truthfully, it was modeled after Travis Touchdown's beam katana from No More Heroes. Ike made me promise not to tell you how he made it, but suffice it to say there were lasers and smoke and selling your soul to a sorcerer involved.

Here's a real fun tidbit- with enough money (I think about $600) I could make this sucker burn. That's right! Fully functional lightsaber! It also extends and spins. Woot.

Nice, Ike, I want one. Except mine MUST be of the burning variety. How else am I gonna start a fire while camping -- rubbing two sticks together? Pfft, what do I look like, a cub-scout? I AM ALL MAN-SCOUT! Don't believe me? I've humped bears before. Haha -- admit it, Yogi!

Hit the jump for a couple videos of the saber/katana in action, including one with some Travis Touchdown cosplay.

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Mar 18 2009 Tool Box Must: Multi-Purpose Halligan Rescues Kittens From Burning Buildings And Brains Zombies With Equal Dexterity

The Halligan Bar is a tool used by both fire fighters and rescue workers to bash open doors, pry shit off other shit, and all around beat the hell out of stuff. And now you can own one. The 30" bar is available in alloy steel (10 lbs, $195) and titanium (5.25 lbs, $555) and is a must-have for anybody with any interest in surviving the zombie apocalypse. Just imagine a zombie's head on the end of that thing. Oh I'm sorry, did I just get you excited? Good, meet me in the janitor's closet in five. Now, don't get up as the same time as me, someone might get suspicious. Or, in The Superficial Writer's case, jealous. THERE WAS NO SPARK -- move on already.

Halligan Bar [cooltools]

Thanks to hayden, who once punched a zombie in the mouth so hard all its teeth fell out so hayden gathered them all up and put them under a pillow but the tooth fairy didn't come. What a sham!

Mar 9 2009 You're A Real Ninja Now: The Belt Sword

The Belt Sword is a questionable sword hidden within a belt. It was created to make dorks feel safe even though in a real-life situation they'd either forget they were wearing the thing or stab themselves trying to get it out. Also, they look suspiciously like aluminum-foil wrapped cardboard. The belt with 24" and 27" swords costs $150. $210 if you want five swords (24", 27", 29", 31", and 33"). Sorry folks, but I'm not interested. No, unlatching my buckle releases another, much more powerful weapon. Obviously, I'm talking about a flying dragon. *unbuckling* KA-P....uh-oh. Looks like the proverbial chicken has flown the coop. And, oh God -- taken off with the eggs.

Hit the jump to see more of this chick, along with a picture of the system and links to the product page and video demonstrations.

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Feb 5 2009 The Pocket Shark: Not Mightier Than A Sword, But Could Still Put An Attacker's Eye Out

The Pocket Shark is a $7 pen that doubles as a weapon thanks to its rugged construction.

For starters, it's made from the glass-reinforced plastic, Grivory, the same tough material we use in our NIGHTSHADE SERIES (of knives), and features walls that are 4 times thicker than similar markers. This means it's built for impact and, in a self-defense emergency it can become an efficient Yawara stick for driving off an attacker. Plus, the screw-top cap will stay in place and won't pop off like a regular marker's cap would when you strike a percussion blow, or when obtaining joint locks or submission holds.

ZOMG! One minute I'm thinking, "yes, that marker does looks sturdy", and next thing you know they're talking about "percussion blows" and "submission holds". Well, I guess as long as the cap doesn't come off while I'm braining some poor sap. Hey, Superficial Writer -- come check out this pen trick I just learned!

UPDATE: Jesus, who the hell brings nunchucks to work?

Pocket Shark Isn't Your Average Marker [ohgizmo]

Thanks to Mikey, who may or may not be a pocket pool shark.

Jan 31 2009 Google Streets: Oh My God, He's Got A Gun!

The Google Street View team is at it once again, this time capturing a gun toting nutjob in Rapid City, South Dakota. And by gun toting nutjob I obviously mean freedom fighter. Dad?

Google Maps
via
Google Street View Completes Tour of Real America With Dude Carrying Rifle [gizmodo]

Jan 20 2009 BOOM, Headshot!: Sniping App For iPhone

Now you can shoot things with better accuracy thanks to BulletFlight, a $10 application available for the iPhone and iPod Touch.

Users can mount their iPod touch to their rifle, and then use the iPod's touch-screen to tap in details about the wind conditions, ammunition type, distance to the intended target and even the wind speed.

"Unlike other apps, BulletFlight does not output information in table format," says the application's iTunes page. "What it does do is dynamically give you the solution you need now to take that shot."

Really? Attaching an iPhone to a sniper rifle? Terrorists everywhere will laugh at you. Thanks but no thanks, I prefer to do my sniping the old-fashioned way -- with a powerful burning laser. PEW PEW!

Sniper rifle software launched for iPod touch [telegraph]

Thanks to Tony and Larry, who only make heads explode with knowledge, son.

Dec 29 2008 PEWtastic: Sweet Looking Wiimote-Gun Mod

Yep, somehow this WeeP5 is actually a fully functional Wiimote. Alternatively, a great way to miss a flight.

In case you're wondering: B button is the trigger, A button is under the foregrip, 1 and 2 are on opposite sides near the front, the D-pad and Wii remote are jutting out of the left side, and the +, -, and home buttons are on the top just above the ammo clip.

You'd think somebody with the technological savvy to mod an MP5-looking Wiimote would own a DVD player. I mean, Amélie on VHS? WTF! Seriously though, I loved the part where she led the blind man around.

Hit the jump for a much more questionable Wiimote-gun mod.

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Dec 7 2008 Wait, What?: Medical Handgun Coming Soon

The Palm Pistol is a single-shot firearm aimed (!) at folks who may have trouble shooting a regular gun and probably shouldn't be anyways. The company behind the weapon hopes to have it classified as a medical device for the elderly and people with arthritis. Holy shit.

"It's something that they need to assist them in daily living," says Matthew Carmel, president of Constitution Arms in Maplewood, New Jersey, which hopes to manufacture the Palm Pistol - now just a patent and specifications. "The justification for this would be no more or less for a [walking aid] or wheelchair, or any number of things that are medical devices," he says.

Wow, now I want a medical ninja sword.

Ideal for seniors, disabled or others who may have limited strength or manual dexterity. Using the thumb instead of the index finger for firing, it significantly reduces muzzle drift, one of the principal causes of inaccurate targeting. Point and shoot couldn't be easier.

Point and shoot couldn't be easier. More like point and shooting yourself in the freaking leg (aka Plaxicoing) couldn't be easier. Seriously though, my grandpa has arthritis and lives in a bad part of the assisted living facility, I'm getting him one.

UPDATE: Right, Alzheimer's -- the old coot shot me!

Company tries to get gun classed as medical device [newscientist]

Thanks to Spikey and Bordmanator, who only fire headshots.

Nov 20 2008 Feel Just Like Wolverine, Minus The Cool

The Tomahawk Skull Gauntlet costs $40 and surprisingly doesn't have any customer reviews yet. Although I just wrote one. Unfortunately, it looks like it might be moderated first. Booo. UPDATE: Review is now up on the product page.

With this gauntlet strapped to your arm there is no question you are the man in charge! The three piercing spikes stretch 11 1/2" long and are constructed from solid stainless steel. The palm cover is cast metal construction with unique details down to each "bone". With an overall length of 17", this monstrous handspike will not only protect your grip but will send your foes running in the other direction.

Sweet, now you can pretend to be Wolverine. PEW PEW! What do you mean Wolverine doesn't go PEW? I mean, he has a laser blaster doesn't he? He doesn't? Well who am I thinking of then? Oh, right, me. PEW PEW bitches!

Product Page

Thanks to Richthegringo, who promised me a back scratch as soon as they arrive.

Oct 1 2008 eBay: Castle Crashing With Your Own Ballista

Some crazy mothers in the United Kingdom are selling a full-size Roman ballista on eBay.

Yes, this is for real. We are selling a full-size Roman siege catapult (or ballista), which we believe to be the only one of its kind (for at least 2000 years).

The catapult was recreated by a team of experts, following all known records, as accurately as possible - and then successfully fired. It was created for the BBC, for a programme called Building the Impossible, in 2002. It was built by the timber-frame team at Carpenter Oak & Woodland.

The ballista weighs approx 12 tons so postage or even buyer collection is not an option. Fully built, it is approx 7.5 metres tall and 8.5 metres long.

Originally, this cost over £120,000 to build - so we are only looking for serious bidders.

The bidding starts at £25,000 ($44,500) and I'm totally gonna buy it and lay siege to the neighbor's house. That'll teach the lazy asshole a thing or two about keeping his lawn mowed. PEW!

Hit the jump for a video of the beast in action and a link to the auction.

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Sep 26 2008 Metal Gear Solid Rubber Band Gun

Some guy went and made a rubberband shooting replica of Solid Snake's Silver Wolf pistol from Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots. The weapon was made from cross-drilled stainless steel plates and even has a laser sight and flashlight. I want one -- just imagine the damage you could do with that thing! Upwards of not any.

Hit the jump for a video of the gun in action.

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Sep 24 2008 OLD!: How To Sell Samurai Swords

Now that's what I call a samurai!

Youtube

Thanks to Ben, who once kicked Leonardo's ass in a ninja fight.

Jul 22 2008 Gun + Knife = Gnife Knun Knife-Gun

The Knife-Gun is the lovechild of a small caliber handgun that humped a switchblade at the monthly gun & knife show they hold at the civic center. I couldn't find much more information on it, except that they're allegedly for sale and it looks like it shoots a pretty small caliber round. Probably more effective than the WASP Knife at a distance though. But it probably sucks underwater. Still, I love hybrid weapons, and this little puppy inspired me to invent the boomerang grenade. See, you pull and pin and throw it, and then it flies around and comes ba....okay, so it needs some work.

Youtube

Thanks Lee, I owe you a beer. Haha, just kidding.

Jul 17 2008 DeWalt Edition M-16 Is Power Tooltastic

Kidding, it's not really a DeWalt edition rifle, it's just an M-16 some guy modded to look like one. Apparently, it's supposed to look like a nail gun.

I'd just picked up a new (to me) M-16 and was in the process of fixing it up a little. It needed new furniture anyway, so I sourced the safety yellow stock, guard, and grip. Then, I went down to the DeWalt factory service place a few miles from the house to get a sticker. There, I saw they had brand new battery casings, so I picked up one of those too. I got home, found a short magazine , and got to work.

Yeah buddy, that's what I'm talking about. I freaking love modded weapons (except these ones) and even dabble in them a little myself. Like when my wife was at work today I modded a bazooka to look like her hair dryer. Anybody want to go out for coffee tomorrow morning, say around 8:00?

UPDATE: Added more pics after the jump.

Continue Reading " DeWalt Edition M-16 Is Power Tooltastic "

Jul 1 2008 T3 Mobile Defender Rocks A Powerful Air Gun

Lamperd Less Lethal's T3 Mobile Defender wasn't inspired by T3:Rise of The Machines, but it does look like the bastard lovechild of a Segway and the Big Wheels I had growing up. But with one worthwhile difference -- a powerful air gun and holographic sight system. The aiming system was designed to ensure body shots only, as a headshot could, well, kill you. Lamperd plans to sell the goofy looking things to the Army at first, but law enforcement organizations will have them available soon after.

"An eyepiece shows a red target dot, and then transmits an image of the target to a monitor, which relays the information to the gun." According to creator Barry Lamperd, if the holographic sight is on target, you can't miss.

Can't miss, huh? That's a pretty bold statement. Because I've had my member resting on the urinal cake before and still missed. Just saying, the dude next to me got pissed.

Hit the jump for a couple more pictures, you know, if cops riding little standup trikes is your scene.

Continue Reading " T3 Mobile Defender Rocks A Powerful Air Gun "

Jun 16 2008 Knife Injects Compressed Gas Into Stabee

The best I can tell the WASP Knife has nothing to do with white Protestants. Nope, it has to do with stabbing something and then releasing 24g of compressed gas into the wound and exploding their organs (VIDEO demo after the jump).

Since World War II, the military has seen much of its soldiers equipment go through many radical changes and technological advances. The knife has gone unchanged until now. Our soldiers deserve the most advanced equipment that is available to them. A simple knife is okay, but when it comes down to the last line of defense, you want something that will get the job done. Introducing the WASP Injection Knife. This easy-to-use, easy-to-reload weapon delivers up to a 24g shot of compressed gas at 800 PSI on land or underwater.

What the? I read on some message board that it was useful if you're attacked by a shark, as the compressed gas would screw with its ability to remain at depth and swim correctly. But besides that it just sounds like a dangerous freaking knife. The company's website is currently down claiming they are "in negotiations to sell it strictly on the non-civilian market" so I don't know if this website selling them for $389 is legit or not. Regardless, that knife scares the hell out of me. Almost as much as my freshman roommate in college did. I'd hear a strange noise at night and flip the light on to find he'd been sharpening a knife in the dark. And that, my friends, is when I started dating an ugly chick to sleep in her room.

Worthwhile VIDEO of the thing being demonstrated, after the jump.

Continue Reading " Knife Injects Compressed Gas Into Stabee "

Jun 5 2008 Boeing Tested New 25 kW Laser While I Hid Under My Bed And Waited To Blow Up

Boeing recently tested their new 25 kilowatt solid-state laser, which is a step in the direction of a future 100 kW (keep in mind the Death Star was only packing something like 80 kW*) ray that will blow up the whole world and possibly Mars and Venus (which, honestly, is a shitty planet that we're better off without).

The thin-disk laser is an initiative to demonstrate that solid-state laser technologies are now ready to move out of the laboratory and into full development as weapon systems. Solid-state lasers are powered by electricity, making them highly mobile and supportable on the battlefield.

A high-power solid-state laser will damage, disable or destroy targets at the speed of light, with little to no collateral damage, supporting missions on the battlefield and in urban operations.

Okay, I have no idea what that means because I'm not a scientist (I'm just a guy who looks sexy as hell in a white lab coat), but I think what they're saying is you shouldn't stare directly at it.

*I made that up so don't email me complaining about how the Death Star's superlaser was like 50,000 billion kW

Boeing Successfully Fires 25 kW Solid-State Lasers, Laser Weapons One Step Closer to Being a Reality [gizmodo]

Jun 5 2008 Magnetic Accelerator Kit Fires Ball Bearings

The $30 Magnetic Accelerator from Thinkgeek uses black magic to launch ball bearings at your roommate when he refuses to fetch you a beer from the fridge even though he's closer. The kit can be assembled in just a few minutes and requires no glue (so there's little chance of bonding your hand to your genitals again). "Set the metal ball at the end of the track and watch as the energy transfers and multiplies down the track of magnets and metal balls until finally the last ball zooms off." Whee, what fun -- I love zooming balls, provided they're not my roomate's buzzing in for a teabag because I passed out on the couch. Seriously, you had your fun, now take the pictures off Facebook.

Hit the jump for a short video of the weapon in action.

teabagging the roomie!
In this photo: The Geekologie Writer (photos), my balls (photos)
Added May 29, 2008

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