Oct 15 2009 Uh-Oh: Chinese Scientists Create Black Hole

Two scientists in China have developed an electromagnetic black hole capable of sucking in and trapping microwaves (not my Kid's Cuisine!). Next stop: trapping visible light.

The device, which works at microwave frequencies, may soon be extended to trap visible light, leading to an entirely new way of harvesting solar energy to generate electricity.

A theoretical design for a table-top black hole to trap light was proposed in a paper published earlier this year by Evgenii Narimanov and Alexander Kildishev of Purdue University in West Lafayette, Indiana. Their idea was to mimic the properties of a cosmological black hole, whose intense gravity bends the surrounding space-time, causing any nearby matter or radiation to follow the warped space-time and spiral inwards.

Now Tie Jun Cui and Qiang Cheng at the Southeast University in Nanjing, China, have turned Narimanov and Kildishev's theory into practice, and built a "black hole" for microwave frequencies. It is made of 60 annular strips of so-called "meta-materials", which have previously been used to make invisibility cloaks.

You can hit the link to read how the black hole actually works, but that's not what's important. What's important is that it DOES work, and we're all doomed. And here I thought my stomach was the only black hole on earth. Don't believe me? Somebody toss a cheeseburger in the air. Did you see that? Works for hot dogs too. Haha, nice try buddy -- you keep those pants zipped.

First black hole for light created on Earth [newscientist]

Thanks to Equalizer and Chris, who have both lost spaceships to black holes before.

Aug 11 2009 Who Needs Humans?: One Program Makes Mario Levels, Another Program Plays Them

This is a video of an artificial intelligence program playing a Mario level created by another program that can create infinite variations of levels on its own. Obviously, this is how robots will entertain themselves after there are no more humans to torture. Well, this and massive oil-fueled orgies.

Infinite Mario AI [collegehumor]

Thanks to jimmy, who can design and play Mario levels flawlessly with genuine intelligence. None of that artificial crap for him.

Aug 6 2009 Burn It With Hot Water!: Ramen Cooking Robot

A Tokyo restaurant has programmed an industrial robot nicknamed Ramen-Bot to cook Ramen noodles for soon to be poisoned customers. Now I don't know about you, but I don't trust it. And as a matter of fact -- I only eat food processed in non-robotic factories. Because, damnit, I'm a humanitarian. Mmmm, people.

Youtube

Thanks to Drew, Michael, cathatter and Chris, who would rather take their chances with employees not washing their hands.

Aug 3 2009 Toyota Develops Running Humanoid Robot

Nice one, Toyota -- a running humanoid robot. Because that's just what we need. Please God tell me that's actually a person in a robot costume.

[The video] from Toyota demonstrates the running capabilities of the new humanoid robot. The robot takes a step every 340ms and has no contact with the ground for 100ms of that. Notice in the video how the robot remains balanced even after pushed by the human

Did you read that? Did that not sound like it was written by a robot? "...pushed by the human"? So eloquent. You know, robots DO make the best writers. BEEP BOOP BOP. Oh that? Nothing.

Toyota's running humanoid robot [make]

Thanks to Mih0, Matt and Pew Pew Jenkins, who can all run faster than the Gingerbread Man and are gonna need to when these things hit full production.

Jul 31 2009 Robotic Arms Have Come A Long Way. A Long, Much More Deadly Way (Hold Me)

This is a video of a bunch of different robotic hands showing how dexterous they are at bouncing balls, gripping things, throwing things, catching things and a bunch of other fun stuff robots shouldn't be allowed to do. I mean, what is this, robot gym class? Next thing you know they're gonna be whipping your ass with a wet towel in the locker room. WHICH IS ONLY FUN WHEN TWO GROWN MEN DO IT. Am I right guys? Love that game.

Youtube

Thanks to Chris and Aroinak, who once shot a bot in Reno and didn't even stick around. Way to go guys, there could have been more.

Jul 31 2009 Robotic Moles To Deliver Goods Underground

An army of little robots that travel through a city's existing sewer lines delivering packages of death to unsuspecting recipients. That sounds wonderful.

The brainchild of designer Phillip Hermes, the Urban Mole is a capsule that travels through existing networks of underground pipes in order to transport packages as diverse as groceries, signed documents and any title that appears on Oprah's Book Club.

According to VisionWorks, "The pipe system is structured like a road network - the more traffic, the bigger the pipe." Electric rails within the pipes provide juice for the Mole's motors in a system that works like a miniature subway. Still more pipes run from drop-off points to delivery centers called MoleStations...where customers can retrieve their items locally. The designer estimates that the average cross-town delivery could take place in less than ten minutes.

Interesting, but it'll never work. Mainly because you and I are gonna sit down there with night vision goggles and crowbars and bash every single one of these things open waiting for a shipment of diamonds. Then, we'll order pizza and party with the ninja turtles. COWABUNGA!

Hit the jump for a coupe more shots of the conceptual couriers.

Continue Reading " Robotic Moles To Deliver Goods Underground "

Jul 30 2009 You've Got To Quit, Smoking Will Kill Us All!

I swear, these public service announcements are getting a little out of hand. That said, here's the latest:

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: Reading Geekologie makes you more attractive to the opposite sex. Also, the same sex. Every time you tell a friend about Geekologie a baby unicorn gets its horn and stabs the devil IN HIS CROTCH. Help poke holes in the devil's nads by telling as many people as possible about this great website. Thank you and have a Thirsty Thursday.

Extreme Anti-Smoking Ad [collegehumor]

Thanks to Rodger, steve and Dallas, who smoke rocks. Igneous is their favorite.

Jul 29 2009 Unhappy Hump Day: Another Learning Robot

Just look at that picture. Do you see anything wrong with it? If you answered, "yes -- absolutely everything, there is not a single thing right about that photo", congratulations, there's hope for you yet. Anyway, a group of hellbent fools at the Developmental Robotics Laboratory at Iowa State University have developed a robot that they hope will be able to learn things similar to the way a child does.

Rather than pre-program it to perform a set of tasks, the team believes that robots need to experience the same kind of development that humans and animals do.

To that end, their 'bot is equipped with two long arms and a pair of webcam-looking eyes. It can hear and see, and learns to identify objects by picking them up and performing different tests, such as shaking or dropping them.

Yes, shaking and dropping them. Just wait until it identifies a human. Also, whose bright idea was it to give that thing a pair of scissors. I'M NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO USE SCISSORS AND I'M HUMAN! Moooooooom -- the dog made me glue my head to the carpet again!

Video of the learning baby deathbot in action after the jump.

Continue Reading " Unhappy Hump Day: Another Learning Robot "

Jul 26 2009 Scientists Fear Robots Are Getting Too Smart

How would you like to wake up to this guy staring at you? You wouldn't, would you? Okay, how about the guy with the phone? I give him a maybe. Anyway, some scientists (the smart ones) fear that robot intelligence is going too far and we must do something to stop them before they stop (read: kill) us.

Impressed and alarmed by advances in artificial intelligence, a group of computer scientists is debating whether there should be limits on research that might lead to loss of human control over computer-based systems that carry a growing share of society's workload, from waging war to chatting with customers on the phone.

[They] generally discounted the possibility of highly centralized superintelligences and the idea that intelligence might spring spontaneously from the Internet. But they agreed that robots that can kill autonomously are either already here or will be soon.

That's right, AUTONOMOUS KILLER ROBOTS. You remember Twiki from Buck Rogers? He was one. Bidi-bidi-bidi!

Thanks to joe, Red, Daniel, Carmen, jabberw0ck, Rogue Cheddar, Retroprofile, Sarah, Princess Padme's Masturbation Fantasy and Patrick, who all help me fight the good fight. Fight first, pizza party second.

Jul 22 2009 Ethicists Demand New Laws For Robots

Robot-ethicists are demanding a retuning of Asimov's laws of robotics, which they believe are too simple and do not take into account just how badly robots want to kill us all.

"If you build artificial intelligence but don't think about its moral sense or create a conscious sense that feels regret for doing something wrong, then technically it is a psychopath," says Josh Hall, a scientist who wrote the book Beyond AI: Creating the Conscience of a Machine.

Accordingly, robo-ethicists want to develop a set of guidelines that could outline how to punish a robot, decide who regulates them and even create a "legal machine language" that could help police the next generation of intelligent automated devices.

Wow, psychopathic robots -- I didn't see that coming. And by didn't see that coming I mean I'VE BEEN TRYING TO WARN YOU FOREVER. Also, you're on fire. Now stop, drop and get the hell out of my office -- I'm in the middle of a very important business call. Now, where were we, sexy? Oooooh, right -- now CAW like a Pterodactyl for me.

Robo-Ethicists Want to Revamp Asimov's 3 Laws [wired]

Thanks to roikles, Andy, danny g, Patrick and NetSerk, who think rule one of robotics should be we do not talk about robotics.

Jul 21 2009 American Robots Are Celebrating Today

Be quiet for a second. You hear that? It's your Roomba singing "Oh Happy Day" because today marks the 25th anniversary of the first robotic death in the United States. That's right -- on July 21st, 1984, a factory worker was crushed to death by a robot in Jackson, Michigan. A moment of silence, please. Now, a moment of yelling. I HATE YOU YOU STUPID METALLIC ASSASSINS I WANT YOU ALL TO DIIIIIIIIIE! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE, GHAAAAAAA!!! Okay, so I think I just popped a blood vessel. Also, a boner. Yelling makes me so hot!

July 21 [wordiq]

Thanks to Mike, who will be holding a candlelight vigil/Roomba burning party/kegger tonight in honor of the first U.S. victim.

Jul 20 2009 EATR Robot NOT Designed To Eat Dead Bodies, Or, How A Company Backpedals

Cyclone Power Technologies, the company behind the Energetically Autonomous Tactical Robot (EATR), denies that it was designed to dine on human corpses. Obviously, they're lying through their oil-stained, robot loving teeth.

"We completely understand the public's concern about futuristic robots feeding on the human population, but that is not our mission," said Harry Schoell, CEO of Cyclone Power Technologies. "We are focused on demonstrating that our engines can create usable, green power from plentiful, renewable plant matter."

Let me tell you a little personal story: I used to be vegetarian. Now I eat the hell out of some meat. Draw your own conclusion.

Darpa's Self-Feeding Sentry Robot is Not a Man-Eater, Company Protests [popsci]

Thanks to Rodger and Charles, who know what the future holds because they both have crystal balls. Be careful bicycling, guys.

Jul 16 2009 Reptilian Death Machines: More Robot Snakes

Snakes are inherently scary because of their phallic form factor, so you can imagine how I feel about robot snakes. This frightening bastard, created at Carnegie Mellon (watch your back!), is capable of traversing a variety of terrain, including, and not just limited to: handrails and stripper poles. I'll tell you what though: first time I see a robotic snake on stage at the Beaver Bungalow, I'm burning that dam to the ground.

Carnegie Mellon's robotic snake stars in a glamour video [engadget]

Thanks to Chase is First and steve, who once screamed "ROBOTIC SNAKE!" in line at an amusement park and got to ride in the front of the coaster twice before people finally caught on.

Jul 14 2009 Great: EATR Robot Feeds On Dead Bodies

Well we've already seen robots that can feed on organic matter, and now, an even scarier one. Wait, does that say chainsaw?

Robotic Technology Inc.'s Energetically Autonomous Tactical Robot -- that's right, "EATR" -- "can find, ingest, and extract energy from biomass in the environment (and other organically-based energy sources), as well as use conventional and alternative fuels (such as gasoline, heavy fuel, kerosene, diesel, propane, coal, cooking oil, and solar) when suitable," reads the company's Web site.

That "biomass" and "other organically-based energy sources" wouldn't necessarily be limited to plant material -- animal and human corpses contain plenty of energy, and they'd be plentiful in a war zone.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH! I'm okay, I'm okay. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! No I'm not. Hold me. Lower. Little lower. Lower. What?! THIS COULD BE OUR LAST NIGHT ALIVE!

Upcoming Military Robot Could Feed on Dead Bodies [foxnews]

Thanks to everyone who sent this in. No, really, thanks -- I hate sleeping. WITH YOUR SISTER! (snores)

Jul 10 2009 Robot Teaches Itself To Smile, Next: Targeting

The fools at the University of California, San Diego have created a robot that can learn new facial expressions on it's own. Next, its gonna learn how to drive itself to the shooting range.

To begin teaching the robot, the researchers stuck Einstein in front of a mirror and instructed the robot to "body babble" by contorting its face into random positions. A video camera connected to facial recognition software gave the robot feedback: When it made a movement that resembled a "real" expression, it received a reward signal.

"It's an iterative process," said facial recognition expert Marian Bartlett, a co-author of the study. "It starts out completely random and then gets feedback. Next time the robot picks an expression, there's a bias towards putting the motors in the right configuration."

Now I'm no terrorist, BUT IF I WAS, Machine Perception Laboratory, just sayin'.

Robot Teaches Itself to Smile [wired]

Thanks to Dirk, Dennie and RealLifeFup, who asked it to smile for the camera and then shot it because it wasn't really a camera, it was a gun.

Jul 9 2009 Just When You Thought We Were Safe: LHC

That's right folks, the people over at CERN are getting ready to fire the Large Hadron Collider back up this fall. And, well, it's been nice knowing you. Most of you anyways. Okay, just a few of you. Kidding, I love you all. GIMME KISSIES!

To that end, CERN gave the LHC's massive network a thorough stress test at the end of last month. The Collider sent out data to 11 computer centers across Europe, Asia, and North America, which in turn relayed the data to 140 locations in 33 countries to be crunched. A whopping 4 GB a second was cranked out from the LHC, though researchers predict that, while operating, the LHC will only send out around 1.3 GB of data. In other words, the Large Hadron Collider's network should be good to go.

If all goes well, we should hear more about the LHC in the near future, as it ramps up for it's firing in October.

You know, this reminds me of the time when I was a kid that I was so afraid there was a monster in my closet that I couldn't fall asleep. And then, exhausted, I finally passed out only to be abducted by aliens and viciously probed. Yeah, this is just like that.

Large Hadron Collider completes massive stress test [dvice]

Thanks, or should I say no thanks, to Retroprofile, who keeps his Facebook page oldschool.

Jul 7 2009 AAAAAH, WHICH ONE IS THE ROBOT?!?

IT'S A TRAP! KILL THEM BOTH AND CHECK THE BODIES AFTER!

Hint: they say the eyes are the window to one's soul. And robots, as we all know, are soulless death machines.

Which One is the Robot? [gizmodo]

Thanks to 42 y/o undead warlock, who blasted them both with Magic Missile just to be safe.

Jul 6 2009 KILL IT!: Transformer Robot Really Tranforms

Miss me? I missed you. I hope everyone had a safe yet explosive weekend. Amazingly, I'm still alive and fingerful. Let me tell you: it wasn't easy. Now, let's return to our regularly scheduled program, shall we?

NASA, who I used to respect, wants to build a bunch of transformers to do their dirty work. *shaking head* And I used to want be an astronaut.

NASA wanted a robot that could start as 100 blocky modules dropped from an airplane to a desert, reconfigure into a rover that could drive to a sand dune, and then change again to "grow" legs and climb up it. Once the blocky robot reached the top, it would transform into a greenhouse that could protect a group of seeds for two weeks.

Only 20 of the modules were built during an ambitious project more than two years ago. But together, they are known as Superbot.

Now repeat after me, "All hail Superbot!" ZOMG -- A COUPLE OF YOU ACTUALLY DID IT! You make me sick.

Hit the jump to see two of the robot's other configurations.

Continue Reading " KILL IT!: Transformer Robot Really Tranforms "

Jul 2 2009 Stupid Robots Can't Even Sing Happy Birthday

In honor of Canada Day yesterday and the 4th on Saturday, this is a video of three Wiffle-ball headed robots trying to sing happy birthday and failing so hard I almost felt bad. Almost. Just watch and listen. Did you hear that? It sounded like the one on the left was singing "die die die". IT NEARS!

Robots Sing Happy Birthday to UK Science Museum [robots.net] (who will be receiving a nasty email)

Thanks to Crimsonfox, who used to be Fusciafox until he painted himself to have better luck sneaking into the henhouse.

Jul 1 2009 Tiny Bloodbots To Crawl Around In Your Veins

Writing that title alone gave me heart trouble. It was hairy there for a minute, I almost Michael Jacksoned on you. Anyway, more robotic death. Remember: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unfortunately, these will kill you.

Researchers at the Israel Institute of Technology in Haifa have developed a miniature crawling robot, called ViRob, that can crawl through your lungs, find a tumor, and zap it with drugs. The bot, which is one millimeter long and four millimeters from end to end, can snake its way through the body, slipping into blood vessels and navigating through the respiratory and digestive systems

But thanks to tiny arms that help it grip vessel walls , ViRob is the first microbot that can tunnel between different body cavities. It's controlled by an electromagnetic field outside of the robot that creates a vibration that propels ViRob forward.

Wow, that's....wrong. And I, for one, refuse to piss robots.

The Tiny Robot that Can Crawl Through Your Veins--And Treat Your Tumors [discovermagazine]

Thanks to msjessiemeghan, who, please wake me up and tell me it's just been a nightmare.