Oct 15 2009 Uh-Oh: Chinese Scientists Create Black Hole
Two scientists in China have developed an electromagnetic black hole capable of sucking in and trapping microwaves (not my Kid's Cuisine!). Next stop: trapping visible light.
The device, which works at microwave frequencies, may soon be extended to trap visible light, leading to an entirely new way of harvesting solar energy to generate electricity.
A theoretical design for a table-top black hole to trap light was proposed in a paper published earlier this year by Evgenii Narimanov and Alexander Kildishev of Purdue University in West Lafayette, Indiana. Their idea was to mimic the properties of a cosmological black hole, whose intense gravity bends the surrounding space-time, causing any nearby matter or radiation to follow the warped space-time and spiral inwards.Now Tie Jun Cui and Qiang Cheng at the Southeast University in Nanjing, China, have turned Narimanov and Kildishev's theory into practice, and built a "black hole" for microwave frequencies. It is made of 60 annular strips of so-called "meta-materials", which have previously been used to make invisibility cloaks.
You can hit the link to read how the black hole actually works, but that's not what's important. What's important is that it DOES work, and we're all doomed. And here I thought my stomach was the only black hole on earth. Don't believe me? Somebody toss a cheeseburger in the air. Did you see that? Works for hot dogs too. Haha, nice try buddy -- you keep those pants zipped.
First black hole for light created on Earth [newscientist]
Thanks to Equalizer and Chris, who have both lost spaceships to black holes before.
Aug 28 2009 Perfect With A Lead Vest: The X-Ray Umbrella
The x-ray umbrella is an umbrella with x-rays all over the damn place. It does NOT allow you to see through a woman's shirt. Unless she's wearing white and it's pouring out, in which case, yes, it does do that. And I've got to tell you: as a guy who's broken his arm twice in the same place and now has a plate and a bunch of screws in there (I am NOT a robot, just a man with an advanced biomechanical arm), I'm no stranger to x-rays. Or those gamma joints. You hear that, Hulk? I will arm wrestle the shit out of you!
Jul 2 2009 The Aliens Are Watching Our TV Programming
This is a little diagram showing how far our television broadcasts have traveled out into space already (I had to cut the image, full size version HERE). As you can see, the aliens orbiting Procyon are just about ready for some Sopranos action. Then, they'll smash their televisions because they're advanced enough to know there's nothing good coming after.
The Aliens of the Star Iota Horologii Are Just Watching Captain Kangaroo Now [gizmodo]
Thanks to Julian, who once made out with an alien chick while secretly watching a Friends rerun over her shoulder.
Jun 9 2009 USB Microwave Is World's Smallest, For Beans
The Heinz Beanzawave is being billed as the world's smallest microwave and measures a scant 7.4 inches tall by 6.2 inches wide and 5.9 inches deep. It's equally suited for heating a can of beans/soup at your desk or frying your nuts so you can't have children.
The mini microwave is being developed as a partner to Heinz Snap Pots, baked beans in single-serving containers. The Snap Pots, available in the U.K., fit perfectly into the Beanzawave. But the $160 device will only be released commercially if consumer feedback is positive and if component prices drop in the near future.
Well you can count me on board. I'M ON A BOAT! Just kidding, I wish I was though. No, right now I'm just laying in bed topless braiding my penises. Now where'd I put that scrunchie?
Beanzawave: The World's Smallest Microwave [fastcompany]
Thanks to scottsc, who cooks his beans at work the old fashioned way: on a campfire in the boardroom.
Apr 14 2009 Worth $500K?: The Human Regenerator
The Human Regenerator is a $553,400 piece of monkey shit that's supposed to make you live longer or something. Personally, I think it looks suspiciously like Superman's tanning bed of solitude.
The Human Regenerator is a Quantum-Pulse-Device that imitates and generates the cellular body's natural frequencies ranging between 0.0005 and 38,000 Hz.
Through intensive treatment with the body's own healthy frequencies, the organism is regenerated in a natural way. This process is enhanced by specially treated silicium and aluminum depots, which with the help of right spinning protos have an anti-aging effect.Furthermore, longitudinal waves are used as a filter to create more human-like waves, therefore adding pure positive energy to the body.
Very convincing technology there. Unfortunately, only 50 of the devices are being made, and "will be offered to a small circle of prominent figures of our time." But if you showed up with $500K, I guarantee you could get one. And also, maybe some hooker action. Which, let's be realistic, will do a lot more for you than Quatum-Cell-Coding ever will -- provided you wrap it up. Otherwise, cooties bro.
Thanks to Mushishi, who's also selling a cellular regenerator that looks suspiciously like a microwave oven with no door.
Mar 27 2009 Sure, Why Not?: 'I Do' Wedding Bands
'I Do' wedding bands were created by Sakurako Shimizu and are similar to waveform bracelets but much more matrimonial. They were cast in palladium and 18K gold and feature a waveform version of the words "I do". Of course, if you were smart you'd sneakily have an "I don't" cast. That way, when you're caught groping another woman's teat at the bar you can just point to your ring and mouth the words "I don't" to your wife, who may or may not douse you with a Jager shot and stiletto you in the nads. But hey, boobs ARE the spice of life. And also, glitterstim. Now who's down for a Kessel Run?
Hit the jump for another pic and a link to artist's website, which also features a pretty badass Atari chip ring.
Mar 21 2009 Waveform Bracelets Are A Clever Idea
The Sound Advice Project was designed to help parents keep their kids off drugs by giving them a reminder of how much they're loved and how bad drugs are. In this case, it's a bracelet that says, in waveform, something like "you're way too cool for drugs", or, "drugs will make your penis shrink". Thankfully, for $18 you can go to the website and record whatever message you want. I decided to made one for myself with one of my favorite inspirational messages from the bible, "When in doubt, PEW PEW PEW". *WHA-PISSSH!* Whoa, what was that? You getting bible-belted, son!
Feb 6 2009 Whee, More Non-Newtonian Speaker Fun!
I swear, I never get tired of watching non-Newtonian fluid fun. In this case, another 2:1 cornstarch to water concoction (aka oobleck) on a speaker. I really liked it when some of the pieces started diving out of the pool. Screw this sausage pool party, I'm outta heeeeeeeeeere!!
Amazing cornstarch speaker monster: Not as easy at looks [dvice]
Dec 29 2008 PEW PEW: Cops' New Non-Lethal Weaponry
That thing doesn't even look real. It looks like a gun out of a video game. Or something cardboard Halo kid would make. But no, it's real (nonlethal) weapon.
Pictured above is the PHaSR, the bad-ass "Personnel Halting and Stimulation Response" rifle that's just about ready for deployment. It puts the hurt on you by dazzling you with laser light, while also burning your skin with an infrared laser.
PHaSR, very clever. I would have gone with PEW! though: Personal Eradication Weapon!. But hey, what do I know? I'm only a guy that practically comes up with acronyms for a living. Anyway, there's another weapon coming too, the ADS, or Active Denial System (which should clearly be the Active Incendiary Denial System), capable of shooting a 6-foot wide microwave beam that makes you feel all hot and bothered, but, on the plus side, can cook a frozen burrito like that.
Two fearsome non-lethal weapons on their way to cops' hands [dvice]
Sep 10 2008 Mythbuster Inhales Sulfur Hexafluoride
Helium is 6x less dense than air and makes your voice sound like you just got kicked in the pickle. But sulfur hexafluoride is 5x denser than air and makes you sound like a badass supervillian. You've got to hear it to believe it. And while Adam made me promise at the beginning of the video I wouldn't try it at home, I had my fingers crossed. I hope I die!
Hit the jump for two more MUST SEE physics videos, one a supersonic jet creating a halo of water vapor, and one of sound waves on fire.
Jun 4 2008 Thanks NASA!: Visible Magnetic Fields
NASA, who should be focusing their efforts on a way to blast me out of the solar system, is instead making movies with visible magnetic fields. Not sure how this is gonna help me bed an alien chick, but whatever, it's freaking awesome so I'll let it slide.
Scientists from NASA's Space Sciences Laboratory have made (magnetic fields) visible as "animated photographs," using sound-controlled CGI and 3D compositing. It makes the fields, as explained by the scientists, dance in an absolutely gorgeous movie called Magnetic Movie.
Be sure to check out a ton more pictures and the movie after the jump, it's some serious eye candy. Now NASA needs to get to work on making a pair of glasses that can do this in real time. Then we could all, you know, get high and make Magneto put on a light show.
Hit the jump for a ton more awesomeness. Oh, and even though it sounds like it, the woman in the video does not say "hairy balls" at 0:45, she says hairball. This is science people, get your heads out of the gutter.
May 27 2008 Touchscreen Turntables Require No Records
Let's face it: records are round and made of vinyl. The ATTIGO: TT is the brainchild of Dundee University student Scott Hobbs and is basically two digital turntables (with waveforms displayed) that allows DJ's to "loop, sample and scratch wave forms just as you would a record." Scott is currently looking for manufacturers interested in producing the ATTIGO, and I'm currently looking for a new girlfriend interested in producing beautiful music. But just with me -- not my roommate and the Fed-Ex guy while I'm busy mowing the yard. I HATE YOU JANET! YOU'RE LOOSE AND NOW EVERYONE ON GEEKOLOGIE KNOWS IT.
UPDATE: YOU DIRTY STRUMPET!
UPDATE: Okay, we're back together. But I'm leaving this up because I know she's gonna end up banging the dude that works the aquarium section at the local pet store. I've seen the way they flirt around the cichlids.
UPDATE: Wow, the reptile guy too. Didn't see that coming. Nice touch you skank.
A worthwhile VIDEO of the unit in action after the jump.
Continue Reading " Touchscreen Turntables Require No Records "
May 15 2008 Alien "Email" Could Arrive As Early As 2015, The Pope Is Totally Cool With That, You Know, As Long As It Doesn't Really Happen
Hisashi Hirabayashi and a colleague used a radio telescope in 1983 to send a message to Altair, a star approximately 16 light-years away.
The message, which is believed to have reached Altair in 1999, consisted of 13 binary-encoded images (71 x 71 pixels each) that showed, among other things, the characteristics of our solar system, the location of our planet, the known chemical elements, whole numbers, human characteristics, and the basic structure of DNA. Their message also attempted to explain biological evolution with a depiction of mammals evolving from primeval life forms (see the image above of the fish crawling onto land).
That one picture looks like a midget kicking a naked woman in the shins, but whatever. Now provided the aliens (if there are any) were intelligent enough to receive and decode the message, they could have a message back to us as early as 2015. Hot damn, I can hardly wait!
Strangely, one of the pictures sent to Altair includes the molecular formula for ethanol along with the kanji characters for kanpai (the Japanese toast of "cheers!") and the English word "TOAST." "I came up with that idea while drinking," Hirabayashi playfully admits. "The aliens probably won't understand that part."
Oh, they'll understand Hirabayashi, they'll understand. Alcohol is the universal language that that makes communication with the opposite sex possible. The googly-eyed bastards will definitely get that. What I'm worried about is them understanding the rest of it.
And in a related story the Vatican has announced that it is perfectly Christian to believe in aliens, despite their not being in the Bible.
The Bible "is not a science book," Rev. Jose Gabriel Funes (Jesuit director of the Vatican Observatory) said, adding that he believes the Big Bang theory is the most "reasonable" explanation for the creation of the universe. The theory says the universe began billions of years ago in the explosion of a single, super-dense point that contained all matter.
And when asked why aliens didn't make an appearance in the Bible, Funes noted, "It's not a damn sci-fi novel."
Alien e-mail reply to arrive in 2015? [pinktentacle]
and
Vatican: It's OK to believe in aliens [yahoonews]
Thanks to Melissa, who may be the only person who really knows what's out there
Apr 28 2008 I-Doser Is Allegedly Like Drugs For Your Ears, I Am (Un)Surprisingly Very, Very Skeptical
I-Doser is some program you download and it plays music that synchronizes with your brainwaves or something and makes you feel like your own drugs. I could be completely wrong here, because I didn't actually read anything about it, but I'll post some of their captivating marketing bullshit here:
Using proven, scientific, and safe methods of synchronizing your brainwaves, a simulated state can be achieved through the use of our advanced Binaural Methods.I-Doser for the PC is the most advanced computer application available to achieve a simulated mood or experience through the use of binaural beats. Use I-Doser to play doses purchased through the I-Doser store. Each Dose is scientifically designed to give you the optimal measure of beats Safely and Effectively to induce state.
Now maybe someone can explain that to me. I didn't download the program (despite the two free dose offer), so this isn't a definitive review. However, my tipster (who I have never met but would definitely trust with my life) had this to say about the experience:
i tried "marijuana" and i bashed my head open on a shelf! ahhaha
Well after hearing that I decided that I would at least listen to a few of the I-Doser sample tracks. So I clicked "Sample" button and then selected "Trip". I'm pretty sure it was ripped directly from a Sounds of the Rainforest CD. Then I tried "Orgasm", which was a track of a woman making sounds unlike anything I've ever heard. And no, it's not because I suck in the sack, although I do. It's just because I had a bad experience with an over-talkative ex-girlfriend (read: monster pie-hole, nonstop yap attack) and now date mute chicks exclusively.
Thanks to Elizabeth, who is way cooler than drugs could ever be, for the tip
Nov 1 2007 Zen Dolphin Relaxation Aid Is Questionable
The Zen Dolphin is a glowing blue plastic dolphin that's supposed to help you relax. It moves like it's swimming.
Relax as you watch Zen Dolphin magically swim above its illuminating base. Beautiful blue light makes it appear as though Zen Dolphin is effortlessly swimming through the sea. Perfect for home, as a night light, the office and more!
It costs around $40, and takes 3 C batteries. It also plays some underwater sounds and dolphin noises. I don't know about you, but it makes perfect sense to me. I get pretty stressed here in my cubicle, and I was just thinking the other day "You know what would really help me unwind? A giant plastic dolphin humping my desk. That should do the trick."
Video demonstration after the jump.
Continue Reading " Zen Dolphin Relaxation Aid Is Questionable "
Sep 27 2007 Ray Gun Makes You Burn, Not Literally
Raytheon demonstrated their Silent Guardian ray gun/box at a recent show. It's a scaled down version of the one you may have seen mounted on the back of Army vehicles awhile ago when they first started messing with this technology. Basically it emits a focused beam of radiation tuned to a precise frequency that stimulates human nerves, giving a burning sensation (similar to the one when you pee). The rays only penetrate a human's skin 1/64th of an inch, so it allegedly doesn't cause permanent damage. I wonder though. Because I used to rest my head against the microwave to watch what I was cooking, and now I'm retarded as hell.
The full picture of a guy touching the box and crapping his pants after the jump.
Sep 20 2007 UK To Build Wave Powered Generator
The UK has approved the construction of the Wave Hub, which will be the first full-scale wave powered generator in the world. It looks like an underwater level from Mario Bros., but it actually generates electricity. Located off the coast of Cornwall, it may one day generate enough energy for 7,500 households and save 300,000 tons of carbon dioxide in 25 years. Which is impressive, but if they installed this thing in my waterbed I could power at least 10,000 homes. Because, you know, I swim in bed. Okay fine, I masturbate a lot. Practically nonstop.
UK To Build Wave Powered Generator [uberreview]
