Nov 16 2009 Gnarly: Two Kite Surfers Jump British Pier
Two extreme sporters used particularly gusty winds today to fulfill their live's dreams: to jump Worthing Pier in West Sussex, England, on kite-boards. It's time to dream bigger, brahs!
Jake Scrace, 25, and Lewis Crathern, 24, had been planning Monday morning's jump for three years but had to wait for perfect weather conditions.
They took off from Goring to the west side of Worthing in gusts of wind that were more than 40mph, and had two helpers on the beach. The pair said the jump was quite hazardous and should not be attempted by amateurs.Mr Crathern said the jump was "epic".
"It was everything I've lived for - amazing," he said.
Everything you've lived for, nice. And here I've been living to destroy my body with booze and die young. But, you know, jumping over a pier with a kite, that's something too. *snicker* Pussies.
Two kite surfers jump over pier [bbcnews]
Thanks to And and 2MechanicalArms, one of which may or may not be a robot.
Aug 6 2009 Pfft, I Could Do That: Monster Waterslide Jump
Even if this is fake, I could do it in real life. Except twice as far, and with an infinite times more flips (front AND back) BECAUSE I AM KING OF WATER SLIDES. You hear me? THE KING! Go ahead, try to push me off, I dare you. You can't do it can yo-- WHOA, WHOA, WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Spectacular waterslide daredevil [dvice]
Thanks to Nate, steve, Jake and brown, who would have done it with a rocketpack and skis on.
Jul 31 2009 Wear This *snicker*: Bikini Dissolves In Water
Wow, just typing snicker makes me want a Snickers bar. Does it do that to you too? Please circle yes or no and pass this note back to me in between classes. So anyway, a seemingly ordinary bikini that dissolves when it gets wet. That's something.
Sellers in Germany bill the dissolving Get Naked costume as a chance for men to get their own back after a break-up.
But women's rights campaigner Rosmarie Zapfl stormed: "It is an absolute insult to women that this has been invented."
It really is though. Which is exactly why I just bought every last one of them so no woman will have to experience that humiliation. Also, ladies -- pool party at my house! No need to bring anything, I've got a ton of suits *snicker*. Damnit I did it again.
Dissolving Bikini is the Ultimate Revenge Gift [spike]
and
Teeny weeny dissolvable bikini [thesun]
Thanks to Steven, william and slammer, who only wear thong-backed bathing suits because they're cheeky.
Jun 15 2009 Raytheon Gets Contract For Laser Weapon
Raytheon, a company best known for my brother and I both swearing we saw an airplane land on top of one of their buildings in Huntsville, Alabama, has received a Navy contract to draw up the initial design of a powerful burning 100-kW Fee Electron Laser (which may or may not look like an automotive engine) to be mounted on seagoing vessels. Pew pew? No. PEW PEW!
Once designed, the naval operators could adjust the wavelength of the laser, which wasn't possible with conventional lasers. This helps compensate for the varying humidity associated with ship-borne situations.
The laser beams could be used against missiles, airplanes, or even boats.
I need one of these for my car. Seriously, I'm tired of sitting in traffic. And let me tell you, I don't just road rage, I road man-rage. You ever seen a guy tear off his own steering wheel, jam it down an air-conditioning vent and then sob uncontrollably? If you've ridden with me you have.
Navy/Raytheon working on 100kW weaponized laser: cue the 'pew-pew' sound effects [dvice]
Jun 5 2009 Finally, I Can Sleep At Night: Researchers Develop Algorithms To Mimic Water Sounds
The watery sounds you hear in this video were all made using algorithms developed by researchers at Cornell, because, honestly, curing diseases can wait.
Doug James and Changxi Zheng, researchers at Cornell University, have developed a way to simulate the sounds of flowing or dripping water, which in real life are produced by tiny air bubbles that compress and expand due to surface tension, creating sound waves in the water.
So by using the geometry of a 3D scene, the Harmonic Fluids algorithm they developed can calculate where the air bubbles would have been created in real life and how they would have moved, which allows realistic accompanying sounds to be generated.
Now don't get me wrong, that's neat as hell, I just wish they would have made their research a little more useful in the real world. Like, I dunno, developing an algorithm to mimic the mating calls of prehistoric dinosaurs. Am I right? If we're not gonna cure cancer I should at least get laid.
Cornell Researchers Develop Algorithms To Simulate The Sounds Of Fluids [ohgizmo]
Apr 17 2009 Cute: An 8-Bit Water Slide In Real Life
This is a video of an 8-bit water slide in real life. I honestly have no idea what that even means, but it's a pretty cute stop-motion movie. Geez, what the hell did you expect folks -- it's Friday and I'm running on fumes. Paint fumes! *SNOOORT* OHMIGOD, YES -- DO ME IN THE BRAIN!
Youtube
Thanks to Kate and Kane, who are both tall enough to ride all the rides at the water park.
Jan 30 2009 Yes Please!: Water Powered Jetpacks
I want one. Yesterday. Ooh, and a firetruck to power it. That way when I have children I can tell them, "Children, in the golden age before you were born daddy used to ride a water-powered jetpack to the liquor store. Now he drives a minivan. Someday you will understand the sacrifices he's made for you. And also, be daddy's designated driver.
Thanks to Digital Mulch, landscaping the interwebs for over 10 years.
Dec 30 2008 Night Gardening With The Flashlight Hose
The Flashlight Nozzle is a garden hose attachment with an integrated LED flashlight that runs off 2 AA batteries. You know, so you can water your grass at night. Perfect for vampires, insomniacs, and rogue pot farmers, the botanical blaster will set you back a paltry $12.50. Or you could tape a flashlight to your existent nozzle. Now, which one of you lucky ladies wants me to water your roses on New Years Eve? Haha, I don't even know what means!
Flashlight Garden Nozzle [ohgizmo]
Oct 10 2008 Sure, Why Not?: A Giant Guitar Boat
Like the saying goes, "when the going gets tough, the tough build a giant freaking guitar boat and cruise around in that mother like PUT PUT PUT". Am I right? I'm wrong. Anyway, this is Indie rocker Josh Pyke taking a fully functional guitar boat for a spin in the music video for his song "Make You Happy". I tried to find the video and couldn't, but apparently the dude's got some musical skills. But no boating ones. He crashed into a dock and spilled a ton of notes. You know, notes -- like musical notes. Because it's a guitar. Fine, somebody come AIDS me in the face, I deserve it.
Giant guitar is a seaworthy motorboat [dvice]
Sep 12 2008 My Turn, My Turn!: A Human Catapult
A couple weeks ago we saw the AirKick human catapult,and today we've got a video of the homemade variety. I don't really have much to say except they didn't make it powerful enough. You'd have to chuck a body at least twice that hard if you expect to damage a castle.
Homemade Human Catapult Action - Don't Try This at Home [uberreview]
Aug 25 2008 The AirKick Gets You High, Wet
If you live in Germany you can rent an AirKick for an undisclosed amount of bratwurst. The human catapult (not to be confused with a human trebuchet) is capable of launching thrill-seekers 26 feet to a watery landing.
The participant sits in a specially constructed seat at the back end of the catapult arm and 3,2,1...Liftoff. He sets the device in motion himself by pushing a button. Approximately 60 liters of water are then forced through a rocket nozzle under the seat.
Awesome! I'm having them send one over here for testing, I'll report back.
UPDATE: Greetings from the ER! Not for use in the mall parking lot.
AirKick Human Water Catapult [ballerhouse]
via
AirKick human catapult slam-dunks brave riders [dvice]
Thanks Eric and Pat, but you could have warned me you know.
Aug 21 2008 Why You Don't Kite Surf In Tropical Storms
Why shouldn't you kite-surf in tropical storms? Because they'll f*** you up. Not only will they slam you into the beach, they'll fling you across the street and into a concrete wall for good measure. Now I hate to say this is Darwinism at work, but I will mention the Saber-Toothed Tiger was notorious for freaking around in tropical storms. Coincidence?
Thanks to Julian, who could actually throw you that far.
Jul 30 2008 Epic Failure Awesomeness: Lake Launch
If she was going for a triple backflip, she failed. Epically.
Epic Blob Jump Proves That Fun and Adventure Aren't Without Consequences [gizmodo]
Thanks Kujo, did you see the look on her face at the end? Ouch.
Jul 23 2008 RC Fishing Boat Does The Work For You
Ha, did my boss just catch me playing Solomon's Key on FireNes (note: version 1.1 is out so it may work now for those of you that were having problems) when I was supposed to be making a spreadsheet? Yes, yes he did. Anyway, some Japanese company is selling an RC fishing boat called KAMOME. It does all the work for you, so it's not even like you're fishing anymore, it's like you're driving an RC fishing boat. The 24 pound boat comes with a sonar system for spotting fish, GPS capabilities, and can catch fish up to about 4.5 pounds. The radio controller has a 5" LCD that displays the sonar and other ship data and has a range of about 1/3 of a mile. Unfortunately the damn thing costs over $5,000. So now instead of boring your friends with the story about "the one that got away", you can tell them the one about the Geekologie Writer sinking your $5,000 RC fishing boat.
JAPAN: Radio Controlled Fishing Boat [hobbymedia]
Thanks Francesco, now lets torpedo that sucker, just for the halibut.
Jul 21 2008 World's Longest Homemade Waterslide?
Cutting the grass, drinking beer, and watching chicks run by the house in short shorts while I yell "PEW PEW PEW!" from my bedroom window -- it's what summertime is all about. Oh, and waterslides! This is a 100-yard waterslide (allegedly the world's largest homemade slide but I feel like I've seen another video somewhere of a super-duper slide that was even longer and had banked turns and stuff) that ends in a lake. Ah, summer watersports, gotta love 'em. But not the kind you perform in the shower and then have to break up with your girlfriend because you can't look at her in the same way again. Not that kind.
World's Largest Homemade Waterslide [break]
Thanks Julian, now let's build one twice as long and invite twice as many chicks than the guys in this video did.
Jul 17 2008 Epic Failure: Kid Riding Jet Ski In Hot Tub
This is a short video of an asscap riding a jet ski in a hot tub. It's every bit the epic failure you'd expect. The whole time I was waiting for a cruise ship to come along and crush the dumb bastard to death, but my prayer went unanswered. Something about God hating me.
UPDATE: I'd like to apologize to all of you who were misled into thinking that Captain Numbnuts of the USS Special Ed was going to hurt himself by the inclusion of "epic failure" in the title and post. If it's any consolation, there was nobody wishing him more harm than myself. And also, YAAAAAAAAA! *UMPH* -- there, I just punched myself in the go-go-gadget-gonads for you.
Jul 16 2008 Non-Newtonian Fluid On Subwoofer
This is a video of a non-Newtonian fluid on a metal sheet set atop a subwoofer. It's pretty cool to watch. In case you forgot (or never knew) what non-Newtonian fluids are, I've copy/pasted some Wikipedia below, and posted another video of some people running across a pool of the stuff after the jump.
A non-Newtonian fluid is a fluid whose flow properties cannot be described by a single constant viscosity. An inexpensive, non-toxic example of a non-Newtonian fluid is a solution of corn starch (corn flour) and water, sometimes called oobleck. The application of force - for example by stabbing the surface with a finger, or rapidly inverting the container holding it - leads to the fluid behaving like a solid rather than a liquid. This is the "shear thickening" property of this non-Newtonian fluid. More gentle treatment, such as slowly inserting a spoon, will leave it in its liquid state. Trying to jerk the spoon back out again, however, will trigger the return of the temporary solid state. A person moving quickly and applying sufficient force with their feet can literally walk across such a liquid.
Mix cornstarch to water in a 2:1 ratio to make your own. But if you don't have any cornstarch handy you can just use pancake batter.
UPDATE: Okay, who believed me and used pancake batter? Anybody, anybody? Suckers! This is the interwebs, folks -- you can't go around believing everything you read. And on an unrelated note, does anybody know how long it typically takes for a Nigerian prince to transfer funds into a U.S. bank account?
Hit the jump for a video of people running across a non-Newtonian fluid.
Jul 8 2008 Dolphin Submarine/Boat Thing Could Be Fun
The Innerspace Dolphin and Seabreacher and water vessels designed to look and behave like actual dolphins. They're powered by a little engine in the back and you can do all sorts of fun stuff like barrel rolls, jumps, dives and drownings. I want one pretty bad. The Seabreacher just became available for sale this spring, unfortunately I couldn't find a price. Allegedly the smaller Dolphin model went for around $50,000, but I couldn't find any verification of this figure. Anybody know? Also, do you think they'll come out with a Dolphinbreacher model in the future? Because that's what I really see myself doing. Besides, I've already had sex with a porpoise. The porpoise was to get my girlfriend pregnant so she wouldn't leave me! HAH AHA HA HAH AH !! She left anyways. Hated puns.
Hit the jump for a couple more pictures, a commercial of the thing in action, and a link to the website if you want to buy one.
Continue Reading " Dolphin Submarine/Boat Thing Could Be Fun "
Jul 8 2008 Surprised?: Dubai Constructing World's Largest Water Fountain. Up Next: Everything Else
In an announcement that surprised absolutely no one, Dubai has voiced its intention of building the world's largest and fanciest water fountain (not of the drinking variety.
Costing a whopping $281 million, the new fountains will shoot water 450 feet into the air and pump 22,000 gallons of water through it at any given time. 6,600 lights and 50 projectors will shoot video and images onto the spray as its in the air...
Cool, I guess. I mean, I love a good fountain show as much as the next person stoned out of their mind, but this seems a little excessive. Why does everything have to be so extreme? You're not trying to make up for anything down there are you, Dubai? Sure, I'll take a loo...MY EYE! So much for that theory.
Hit the jump for what the fountain looks like if you're tripping.
Jun 25 2008 World's Deepest Pool Lacks A High Dive
The world's deepest swimming pool (108 feet) resides in Brussels, Belgium and serves as "multi-purpose diving instruction, recreational, and film production facility."
The pool itself consists of a submerged structure with flat platforms at various depth levels. The pool has two large flat-bottomed areas at depth levels of 5m (16 ft) and 10m (32 ft), and a large circular pit descending to a depth of 33m (108 ft). It is filled with 2,500,000 liters of non-chlorinated, highly filtered spring water maintained at 30°C (86°F) and contains several simulated underwater caves at the 10m depth level. There are numerous underwater windows that allow outside visitors to look into the pools at various depths.
While that's cool and all, where the hell is the high dive? You can't have a pool that deep and not have a high dive, it's blasphemous. I mean, WTF? Oh well, I'm still gonna sink my girlfriend's body in the deep end.
Hit the jump off for a bunch more pictures.
