Feb 17 2009 Fail: Two Nuclear Subs Crash Into Each Other

In an unprecedented subbing fail, a British nuclear sub recently crashed into a French one. I've got the feeling somebody swerved out of their lane (read: the Frenchies, they're suckers for red wine).

Officials said the low-speed crash did not damage the vessels' nuclear reactors or missiles or cause radiation to leak. But anti-nuclear groups said it was still a frightening reminder of the risks posed by submarines prowling the oceans powered by radioactive material and bristling with nuclear weapons.

France said that Le Triomphant suffered damage to a sonar dome -- where navigation and detection equipment is stored -- and limped home to its base on L'Ile Longue on France's western tip. HMS Vanguard returned to a submarine base in Scotland with visible dents and scrapes, the BBC reported.

Just as I feared, they're making these stealth subs too stealthy. Next thing you know somebody's going to run into the Lock Ness Monster and kill poor Nessy. And, when it happens (and it will), we will finally know the truth: how delicious is monster BBQ?

British, French nuclear subs collide in Atlantic [yahoonews]

Thanks to Totex, who once caught a nuclear sub trying to sneak up the drain into his bathtub. And to Kyle, who once called Poseidon a bitch and lived to tell about it.

Jan 22 2009 Stormtroopering Pays More Than Expected

This is a picture of an Imperial Stormtrooper driving a Lotus Exige. And you know, it really got me thinking -- why am I hanging with this ragtag bag of dicks in the Rebel Alliance -- these guys don't pay shit. I mean, Jesus, I have to use public transportation. Just saying, I look good in white.

Storm Trooper Trades In Speeder Bike For Something A Little More Agile [jalopnik]

Thanks to ZOMBIE BOB, who allegedly ate Ewok brain and loved it.

Dec 23 2008 Do You Piss Liquid Gold?: A $400,000 Watch

The Cabestan Winch Tourbillion Vertical Watch is utterly ridiculous and has 1,352 parts (in comparison, my sundial has two). It's "driven by a 450 link chain and nickel silver drums" and looks like it'll break just putting it on. The base model will set you back $275,000, but if you want that shit to have platinum and diamonds and a set of grillz it'll be $400,000. I have no idea what makes the thing tell time, but if I had to guess, I'd say it's something to do with a winch. And speaking of which -- more beer you wretched beast!

Mad props in advance to everyone that's going to use their comment to tell me beer wench is spelled with an e.

Hit the jump for several more pictures of the awesomely constructed movement.

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Jul 23 2008 Fingernail Watch Doesn't Prevent Hangnails

The Timex2154 is a conceptual watch design that took runner-up in the global watch design competition sponsored by Timex and Core77. First place was a sundial. This particular concept was designed by a stoner (hence the 4:20) and fastens to your nail. You push the end to scroll through the different modes and change your color options. My girlfriend is so stupid she would probably nail polish right over it. Hey Timex, if you decide to manufacture this thing can you do me a favor and make a fingernail calculator too? I'm failing algebra because the teacher doesn't let us use calculators. Well, that, and the guy I chose cheat off of is apparently an idiot.

That's time at your fingertips [popgadget]

Thanks Mike, can I copy off you?

Mar 7 2008 London Pads Lamp Posts To Help Prevent 'Texting While Walking' Related Injuries

I'm not a big fan of text-messaging while walking, but that's because I have the coordination of a newborn. Apparently a lot of people do it. And apparently a lot of people get hurt doing it (allegedly 1 in 10 London texters) . So now the city is starting to pad its lamp posts to prevent people from running into them while they're busy texting. I personally think this is a horrible idea. It makes the lampposts look stupid and prevents injuries to people who probably deserve it (and should learn a valuable lesson). You have to look where you're walking! Next they're going to start padding cars for people who walk and text-message. I say screw the padding, add sharp spikes to the poles. If you can't manage to look where you're walking then you deserve to lose all that blood.

A painful video after the jump if you forgot what it looks like when someone runs into a pole.

Continue Reading " London Pads Lamp Posts To Help Prevent 'Texting While Walking' Related Injuries "