Apr 28 2009 Sure, Why Not?: Animal-Shaped Radiators

Guus van Leeuwen's Domestic Animal radiators heat your home without all the shedding and feces associated with keeping a real animal in the house.

[The] radiators are made using between 40 and 60 pieces of steel tubing which are bent using a computer and then welded together by the Eindhoven-based designer. The radiators can then be connected to the heating pipes via the tail. The pelts are real and have been filled with wheat seeds in order to conserve the heat.

Well it's about time! You hear that, Mr. Badger? It's time for you to make like a tree and get out of here. I mean it -- OUT! Oh, being stubborn are we? Fine. *BLAM!* Badger steak for everyone! And, on a 100% completely unrelated note that has absolutely nothing at all to do with sleeping with a badger -- anybody know how to get blood out of bedsheets?

Hit the jump for closeups of the different animals.

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Apr 3 2009 Uh-Oh, They Don't Need Us: Robot Scientist Makes Own Discoveries Without Human Help

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but if you thought yesterday's fire-breathing robot-baby was bad, you're in for a real treat. Adam, a robot scientist, has officially "discovered new scientific knowledge independently of a human operator." Run for the hills folks, and I'm not even kidding.

The device has already identified the role of several genes in yeast cells, and has the ability to plan further experiments to test its own hypotheses. Ross King, from the university's computer science department, remarked that the robot is meant to take care of the tedious aspects of the scientific method, freeing up human scientists for "more advanced experiments."

Yeah, too bad this robotic bastard is gonna trump all the human scientists. How long until a robot receives a Nobel prize -- two, three years? Then what -- what's the next big discovery?

A: That humans are dispensable.*

*This answer based entirely on The Geekologie Writer's own speculation and ability to see the future when he's high. Also, it might be the booze talking, but it's totally not (it is). YOU ROBASTARDS WILL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE! *pew pew*

Thanks to bum master, Chris, Jake, Joemo, Katie, Phil, Austin, Dan, Tank, Adrian, Harrison, two different Jons, Jay, Milkman, adam, Martyn and Charks, who obviously don't care if I have nightmares. Thanks a lot, dicks.

Mar 31 2009 Ooh, Pouchy: Carry Your Kid Like A Kangaroo

You know, or an alien bursting out of your chest. The Peekaru is an $80 vest that makes you look and feel like a wallaby. BOING BOING BOING! Look at you -- you're Tigger! Well, if Tigger were a kangaroo and didn't hang out with that Debby Downer Eeyore all the time (seriously, kill yourself already). But note: The Peekaru doesn't actually hold your kid, you have to have a baby carrier on, it just keeps them warm and makes it look like they're a joey.

Let a Peekaru Original simplify the process of getting out of the door. Wear your Peekaru over any baby carrier and you're ready for cooler weather. Add a coat and you're ready for winter. Whether it's a crisp fall evening walk, a winter carnival, or a springtime parade, the Peekaru will keep your baby toasty warm without the clutter.

Say, you know what else keeps babies warm without the clutter? Coats. Yeah, and that way they don't have to be strapped to your teat the whole time either. Just saying, sometimes daddy needs a suckle too.

Hit the jump for a couple more shots.

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Feb 20 2009 Bear Sleeping Bag Not Nearly As Nice Or Comfy As My Bear Skin Rug, Ladies?

The Sleeping Bear Pack was designed by Eiko Eshizawa and makes you look like you're sleeping inside a bear just like Luke Skywalker inside a tauntaun. It's nice, but nowhere near as romantic as the polar bearskin rug in front of my fireplace. What do you say -- me, you, a bottle of bubbly and a bowl of ripe strawberries? Too romantic? Okay -- me, you, a sixer of High Life cans and some chocolate syrup? Still? Fine: me, a 40 of Old English and a bag of watermelon Sour Patch Kids.

Bear sleeping bag will keep you safe from bear attacks, I assume [dvice]

Jan 21 2009 Beer Hoodie: Look, Bartender -- No Hands!

I've got the feeling this has existed forever, but just in case it hasn't, here it is -- the $36 Beer Pouch Sweatshirt with Hood.

Finally! You can carry around a beer while leaving your hands free to high five a complete stranger in the stands, carry more beer, or operate your hands-free cellphone. The Beer Pouch Sweatshirt is perfect for sporting events, picnics, and really boring offices.

Features a 30 square inch pouch with elastic band and an insulating liner to keep your beer ice cold. The pouch can stretch to accommodate soda cans, bottled water, and even cans of soup and bottles of whipped cream.

Wow, I think that effectively convinced me not to buy one after all. Not that I was going to anyways -- I've already got a beer carrier. Isn't that right, wench? Wench?

NOTICE: Now hiring new beer wench. Must be able to lift 20 lbs, support 190. Large breasts a plus, penis a minus.

Product Page

Thanks to pirhan, who hand-frees beer the old fashioned way, with one of those beer helmets.

Dec 31 2008 I Like Cold Beverages: The Cooper Chiller

The $60 Cooper Cooler Rapid Beverage Chiller chills a beer down to 43 °F in sixty seconds. So, at the moderate drinking rate of one beer per 45 seconds, you only have 15 seconds of down time until the next beer is ready. Not too shabby. You just fill the P.O.S. with ice and water, and presto: it rotates your can, all the while hosing the aluminum bastard down with cold water. Of course, if you're looking for something a little more powerful -- something that can cool a beer instantly -- I've got two words for you: witch titties.

One Minute Drink Chiller Works Better Than A Fire Extinguisher [ohgizmo]