Nov 19 2009 Laser Crosswalks: Because Pews = Safety
Laser Crosswalks are the crosswalks of the future. You can tell because it has 'laser' in the name. Pretty much anything with 'laser' in it is gonna be a huge hit in the future (including cereal). Don't believe me? Just stare at this laser eye-toy for a minute. Aaaaand now you're blind.
The Virtual Wall is designed as a replacement for traffic lights and if made would use "plasma laser beams" to project silhouettes of moving people into the path of oncoming traffic.
Supposedly this would calm traffic and make drivers more careful around the soft humans as they cross the street. I'd say it would be more likely that the appearance of giant red figures before the windshield would cause panic, crashing and general mayhem.
Hell yes, giant red laser-people. *pew pew* means walk! Plus, if you try driving through it the lasers should cut you up into little pieces. Don't act like we don't have that technology! We have that technology.
Laser Wall Replaces Traffic Light [wired]
Thanks to Fnahra tha evur livin, who loves lasers almost as much as I do but not quite because I have laser-vision. Yeah, so there, Fnahra.
Oct 29 2009 Uh-Oh: Another Little Running, Jumping Robot
ROPID is a little robot created by Robo Garage (burn it down with an oily rag!) whose name combines the words 'robot' and 'rapid'. Very clever. Or should I say vever? I'm gonna stick with very clever. Anyway, this is a video of ROPID showing off his moves at a press conference. He (sometimes) responds to voice commands and can run (which technically isn't running, just walking fast), dance and jump. Plus look kinda cute. There, I said it -- just because you hate something with all your heart doesn't mean you can't find it beautiful. Take Edward Cullen for example.
ROPID Can Jump And Run, Almost [botjunkie]
Thanks to partychancer, fabian, Xkrimeg, Richthegringo, Harsh and Mira, who aren't ashamed to admit they've thought about what it would be like to be with a robot romantically. Bad move, guys -- burn them at the stake!
Oct 8 2009 Move Those Buns!: Getting People To Use The Stairs Instead Of The Escalator
This is a video made at a subway station in Stockholm that asks the question, "can we get more people to choose the stairs by making it fun to do?" And the answer, amazingly, is yes -- by converting the stairs into a giant piano a la Big. Granted in the U.S. not a single extra person would have taken the stairs and at least two women would have called the cops about a possible bomb. Still, good going, guys, but I would have just turned off the escalator.
These Piano Stairs Will Motivate Even The Laziest of You [gizmodo]
Aug 3 2009 Cut Your Nails: Mario & Luigi Tattoos On Feet
Before I go any further, you need to cut those toenails. That ring toe looks like it could cut glass and the middle one reminds me of a little fleshy grape. Great, now I want to eat it. I SAID, "PUT IT IN MY MOUTH!" So yeah, Mario and Luigi tattoos on the bottom of some guy's feet. I reckon he opted for the feet because his mommy would be disappointed if she found out he had them. So you should have seen the look on her face when he put his feet on the coffee table. It was like she just seen a ghost! Or video game tattoos on her son's feet. IT'S THE SAME LOOK!
Hit the jump for a shot of Luigi and one of both feet together.
Continue Reading " Cut Your Nails: Mario & Luigi Tattoos On Feet "
Aug 3 2009 Toyota Develops Running Humanoid Robot
Nice one, Toyota -- a running humanoid robot. Because that's just what we need. Please God tell me that's actually a person in a robot costume.
[The video] from Toyota demonstrates the running capabilities of the new humanoid robot. The robot takes a step every 340ms and has no contact with the ground for 100ms of that. Notice in the video how the robot remains balanced even after pushed by the human
Did you read that? Did that not sound like it was written by a robot? "...pushed by the human"? So eloquent. You know, robots DO make the best writers. BEEP BOOP BOP. Oh that? Nothing.
Toyota's running humanoid robot [make]
Thanks to Mih0, Matt and Pew Pew Jenkins, who can all run faster than the Gingerbread Man and are gonna need to when these things hit full production.
Apr 27 2009 Scary: These Crazy 'Animal Leg' Extensions
Personally, my regular legs are just fine. They reach the pedals in my car, walk me from said car into seedy strip joints, and kick the living shit out of oak trees. But for some people that's not enough, they want animal-like legs. These people are sickos.
These "digitigrade leg extensions" are the work of Seattle-based sculptor Kim Graham. Essentially a fancy pair of stilts, the legs mimic digitigrades (animals including horses that bear weight on their toes).
The video shows the legs in their natural, metallic finish, as well as dressed up in some fur. Which, I'll admit, was rather disturbing. Throw on a bearskin rug and TA-DA, you're that pedophilic creep Mr. Tumnus from that book about a talking panther in your closet.
Bionic Animal Legs Are Built For Theater and/or Enchanted Woodlands [gizmodo]
Apr 17 2009 Legway: Segway's Steampunk Predecessor
The Legway was the original inspiration for Gob Bluth's preferred method of transportation, the Segway. As you can see, it's made out of copper piping, wood, and a heaping portion of leg muscle.
It's actually a variation of the Universe Cycle, with handlebars. I'd love to see a video to see how wonky it is to drive. The builder says it's not that hard and he's gotten pretty good at it.
"Gotten pretty good at it". Ha, that's just techno-babble for "WTF was I thinking tearing the pipes out of the guest bathroom?" Also, do you think the pet store will let me return a frozen dove for a full refund?
Hit the jump for a steampunk snowboard, because, why the hell not?
Apr 14 2009 A Grass Wheel For The Concrete Jungle
The Grass Wheel was created by David Gallaugher, Kevin James, and Jacob Jebailey of the Dalhousie School of Architecture, and provides a comfortable, shoe-free mode of eco-transportation in the concrete jungle (grass-sandals guys, just saying). And I think we can all agree, it makes a very powerful statement. One about renewable energy or something. No? Human hamster wheels? A-ha -- space technology and growing grass upside down! Yes, very thought provoking. How do they do that?
Grass Wheel [neatorama]
Thanks to Armando, who is all man and refuses to walk in anything but a broken-glass wheel. Nice, Armando, but I'll stick to my burning coals wheel.
Mar 19 2009 Segway Shmegway -- I Want A Cajun Crawler
Segways are stupid and have wheels. Cajun Crawlers are awesome and have little feet that can scurry you across the room like a bug quicker than you can say, "Gob would love this!"
Based on the work of kinetic sculptor Theo Jansen, the Cajun Crawler holds up a Segway-style platform with a scary collection of steampunk-like mechanical legs, which can scurry across a floor with surprising agility. The project was built by a team of folks at the University of Louisiana.
Skip to about 1:00 for the action to begin. And action it is! My God that thing is creepy as all hell. One part of me wants to yell "ROBOT!" and smash it to pieces but another wants to ride it into the gently rolling surf until I'm submerged, where I'll be greeted by topless mermaids whom I will pose with and then post the pictures on my Facebook. Later that night, I'll come back with a snorkel and seduce one into living in my bathtub. Just like Tom Hanks in Splash, but with a harpoon.
Cajun Crawler swaps Segway wheels for Theo Jansen's creepy leg mechanism [engadget]
Thanks to Leon, The Short One and Phecda, who are cool with just walking.
Mar 16 2009 Real Life Spider-Man: Paralyzed Man Walks Again Thanks To Brown Recluse Spider Bite
David Blancarte lost the use of his legs nearly 21 years ago in a motorcycle accident. And now, thanks to the bite of brown recluse, he can walk again.
I'm here for a spider bite. I didn't know I would end up walking," says David.
A nurse noticed David's leg spasm and ran a test on him. "When they zapped my legs, I felt the current, I was like 'whoa' and I yelled," he says. He felt the current and the rush of a renewed sense of hope. "She says,'your nerves are alive. They're just asleep'," explained David.Five days later David was walking.
David basks in his glory and gives a ray of hope to other hoping to walk again. The 48-year-old former boxer and dancer is taking it in stride, knowing his best days are still ahead.
David's dream is to see his 14-year-old twin daughters grow up and get married so he can walk them down the aisle and have that first dance.
Well ain't that some cockle-warming Peter Parker/John Locke shit! To tell you the truth, I haven't been having much luck with my manhood lately, and I did see a black widow out by my treefort yesterday....
IT BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURNS!!!
UPDATE: And it just fell off. Great.
Hit the jump for a news report video for those of you who can't read.
Mar 16 2009 They're After Our Skinny Coke Whores!: Japanese Unveil Robotic Fashion Model
Developed by Japan's National Institute of Advanced Industrial Science and Technology (JAJINAS), HRP-4C is a robot designed to walk, talk, and work a catwalk like the sexy little vixen harbinger of death that she is.
Standing at just over 5-feet tall and 95-pounds....the she-bot features 30 motors spread throughout its body with an additional eight motors in its face for expressing general boredom and disgust with the help. Its main purpose is entertainment and to attract crowds much like its fleshy counterparts -- so don't expect home cooked meals and laundry service should you take the $200,000 robot home.
As is evident from the photo, that guy is a demented pervert. IT'S A ROBOT, BRO -- HER ASS IS METAL. Some people, I swear. So anyway, like I was saying: I hid in a bathroom stall at the Museum of Natural History this weekend until it closed and then had my way in the Hall of Dinosaurs. Best weekend EVER.
Hit the jump for another picture and a video proving why this is the worst model ever.
Continue Reading " They're After Our Skinny Coke Whores!: Japanese Unveil Robotic Fashion Model "
Mar 1 2009 Awww: Bizkit The Sleepwalking Dog
This is a video of Bizkit the sleepwalking dog. You should watch it, it's funny and sad at the same time. SPOILER ALERT: The dog sleepwalks into the wall. I originally thought it was cruel, but then watched the rest of the user's videos and they film the dog all the time, so I don't think they knew it would run into the wall. That said, I'm stealing Bizkit and starting a circus. DOOT DOOT DOODLE DOOT DOO DOO DOO DOOT. Cotton candy makes my clothes come off!
Hit the jump for a couple other videos of Bizkit, including one of some wicked sleep-standing action.
Jan 12 2009 Soiled Pants: The World's Scariest Hiking Trail
And that, my friends, is why I never leave the house.
Youtube
Thanks to The free faller, who took one wrong step.
Dec 10 2008 Firebreathing Dog Robot Will Ruin Your Day
This firebreathing robot-dog-beast-cycle (inappropriately named Lrry) was made entirely out of recycled materials by the Mutoid Waste Company in London. "Why?", you ask. "Why not?", the makers reply. "Because that f***er's gonna kill us all!", you scream while throwing an empty beer can and lacing up your running shoes. Perfectly at home at any monster truck rally, Lrry is guaranteed to melt your face off then trample your body. And, seriously, what better way to go? You know, besides every other way, excluding impalement.
Hit the Kris Kross will make you jump jump for a video of the doomsday machine in action.
Continue Reading " Firebreathing Dog Robot Will Ruin Your Day "
Nov 7 2008 Thanks But No Thanks (I Value My Ass): Honda's Assisted Walking Device
Honda's taking another stab at the growing assisted walking market (that's a market!?), this time with what appears to be a robot that hides between your legs and pokes you in the genitals.
The device will supporting a portion of user's body weight whether they're crouching, walking or climbing stairs and is meant to help both those physically weakened with age or injury as well as workers who would need to reduce the stress on their bodies from heavy work or unusual positions.
The device will support users within two inches of its preset 5-foot, 7-inch user height. The entire system, including its lithium ion battery and shoes, weighs 14.3lbs, and uses two electric motors to assist users' leg movement for up to two hours before a re-charge is required.
Interesting, but I'm going to have pass. You see, I accidentally violated myself with a pogo stick once, and ever since, well, I just couldn't imagine ever cheating on it. I heart you Springy!
Hit the jump for another picture of the barebones device, along with a video of the piece in action.
Continue Reading " Thanks But No Thanks (I Value My Ass): Honda's Assisted Walking Device "
Oct 29 2008 Express Lane Only: The Shopping Cart Trike
The Cartrider was designed by Jaebeom Jeong and combines a shopping cart and trike. That way you can do your shopping faster, and while seated. Alternatively, you can just use one of the motorized scooters that grocery stores have available for disabled patrons and play the grocery store game. 2 points are awarded for hitting a pedestrian shopper, and an additional 5 every time you hit the same person again. 15 points for each end-of-aisle display you knock over, and 100 if you ride the scooter home before the battery dies. 500 if there's a low-speed chase involved.
Hit the jump for two more pictures.
Continue Reading " Express Lane Only: The Shopping Cart Trike "
Oct 24 2008 Walking House Can Run Away From Floods
Art collective N55 built a walking house complete with bathroom and kitchen that can start hoofing it should shit hit the proverbial air-exchanger. It was allegedly designed to move to higher ground should a flood hit Britain. WTF, do they not have mobile homes in England? And if not, I'm moving there.
Hit the jump for a couple more pictures and a video of the leggy bastard in action.
Oct 16 2008 The Future Is Now, And Not What I Expected: Walking Powered Shoe Chargers
I hate walking. That's why I run. Or Hoveround (screw you Rascal!). But for those of you that don't mind, how about making the most out of your two legged transportation. NTT has developed a shoe that promises to charge your gadgetry while on the go.
Their soles are filled with water, displaced as the wearer walks and forced through a tiny turbine. Current prototypes generate 1.2 watts of electricity, enough to power your iPod as you strut, but by the time these things hit production in 2010 the hope is to more than double that to 3 watts so that you can charge up your mobile, too.
Sure, why not. But I'd still prefer to see the breast-powered charger instead. Literally, I want to see it in action. And, I dunno, maybe some light touching.
NTT says one of these days these boots are gonna charge your gadgets [engadget]
Thanks to Julian, who's currently out on the the hunt for the best damn burrito in NYC.
Oct 7 2008 AT-AT Fail: Because Sometimes Standing Up Is Just Too Damn Hard
Oh man, that's one of my favorite scenes from the movie. The snow, the AT-ATs, all the little ships flying around PEWing their brains out. And then the trip-up. This AT-AT Fail shirt costs $20.80 and comes in a variety of colors. Collect them all! Just kidding. Buy one! Or don't. I don't freaking care, I didn't make them.
On a side note, if there aren't any more posts today it's because I'm moving and am on the road....south! Goodbye wife and hello buxom southern belles guns and rednecks! WOHOO, come visit! See you bright and early tomorrow morning.
Thanks to Serene, who once tripped an AT-AT simply by willing it.
Sep 25 2008 Wearable Airbags For The Clumsy, Elderly
Japanese manufacturer Prop is now selling wearable airbags for old folks and people who just can't stand for long.
Its newly announced personal, wearable airbag looks like a cool fanny-pack and weighs a mere 1.1 kilograms (2.4 pounds) -- but springs forth in one-tenth of a second when sensors detect you're headed for the floor, protecting your head and ass with two inflated bags that contain 3.9 gallons of gas each.
Unfortunately, safety comes at a price. And that price is $1,400. Are grandma's delicate bones worth the cost? Hint: Duct tape and pillows.
Wearable airbags keep the elderly from hitting the ground so hard [engadget]
Thanks to Julian and Ross, who both threw themselves down the stairs wearing bubblewrap jackets and lived to tell about it.
