Nov 12 2009 You're Doing It Wrong: Super-Rich Idiot Moron Drives $2 Million Bugatti Veyron Into Marsh
An unnamed member of the Illuminati recently drove his Bugatti Veyron into a Texas marsh because he's stupid and can't drive.
The man, who refused to give his name, was looking at real estate in Galveston.
About 3 p.m. a low-flying pelican distracted him as he traveled north on Interstate 45 just south of the hurricane levee near Omega Bay.The man jerked the wheel, dropped his cell phone, and the car's front tire left the frontage road and entered a muddy patch, which foiled his attempt to maneuver away from the lagoon.
The Veyron's powerful engine gurgled like an outboard motor for about 15 minutes before it died.
Low-flying pelican? Really? That's the BEST you could come up with? No, I propose this man was playing a little tickle the moneybags and freaked when he realized he was gonna make a small cash deposit on the leather seats. Watson -- my pipe, please.
$2 million Bugatti crashes into lagoon [galvestondailynews]
Thanks to Demon Spawn, who may or may not have horns and a tail.
Nov 1 2009 Sure, Why Not?: Driving Around In A Half-Car
Ever wanted to see some crazy Serbian driving around in car that's been cut in half? Then today's your lucky day! I kept waiting for him to flip the thing over on himself but the physics weren't there. And speaking of crazy Serbians: I used to know one. He drove a bright yellow VW GTI with a matching smiley face air freshener hanging from the rearview and an AK-47 in the trunk. I never rode with him.
Thanks to alex, who claims he could do the same thing with a 1/4 car.
Oct 9 2009 Yeah, But Can It Fly?: Amphibious WaterCar Does 60MPH On Both Land And Sea
The $200,000 WaterCar is the lovechild of a Corvette that fell in love with a cigarette boat. But, like having sex with a mermaid, everyone will tell you it was just a manatee.
Get a Corvette engine, rig it up with a Dominator Jet drive, and then strap it into a floating car, and you get the WaterCar Python, the fastest and highest-performing amphibious vehicle in the world. If zipping over the water at a top speed of 60mph doesn't float your boat, it'll accelerate on land at a neck-snapping 0-to-60 speed of a mere 4.5 seconds.
Call me old fashioned, but I like all my vehicles single-purpose. If it drives on the road, I don't want it in the ocean or sky. I mean, that's just more stuff to go wrong. And wrong, my friends, is the opposite of right. And two Wrights made an airplane. ZING! Thanks for that one, dad.
Hit the jump for several more shots and a video of the thing in action (worthwhile stuff starts at 0:50).
Continue Reading " Yeah, But Can It Fly?: Amphibious WaterCar Does 60MPH On Both Land And Sea "
Oct 9 2009 Not A Plane: Nissan's Futuristic Land Glider
Sure it may look like a spaceship's cockpit, but it's not! It's the cockpit of Nissan's Land Glider, a conceptual car design recently unveiled at the Tokyo Motor Show.
This is the Nissan Land Glider, an electric car with two seats. it has a narrow body, which Nissan says will help reduce traffic congestion by allowing more cars in the same city space, as well as making parking easier. It has a balancing system to make it stable as it takes curves, compensating for inertia with the car's body movement.
I actually like it (hit the jump for more shots and a video). And not just because it looks skinny enough to bob and weave between a giant robot's legs, but that's something you have to think about when you're in the market for a futuristic car. Also, standard weaponry and estimated RBI. Ha, what do you mean that's a baseball stat? SHUT UP I KNOW CAR STUFF!
Hit it for for more pictures and a 6:00 video.
Continue Reading " Not A Plane: Nissan's Futuristic Land Glider "
Sep 19 2009 That's Classy: Truckvette Spotted At Walmart
That has got to be the fastest looking truck I've ever seen. And I saw a truck shot out of a cannon before, so I know. Still, needs truck nuts.
TRUCK-VETTE [peopleofwalmart]
Thanks to Alan, who once drove a truck to the moon and did donuts in a crater. Bitchin'!
Aug 21 2009 Segway's Little Sister: The eniCycle
The eniCycle was designed by Aleksander Polutnik and is the lovechild of a Segway and whatever the hell this thing is. And I, for one, would totally ride it. Without a helmet. I'm bad!
The EniCycle is powered by an electric 1000 watt hub motor that you lean forward to set into motion--just like a Segway. Measuring your vertical angle 100 times a second, the gyroscopes make adjustments to help keep you balanced.
Not only would I ride the hell out of this thing, I would do it juggling bears. And not just because I'm hardcore, but because I'm classically trained for the circus. Just sayin', I can eat fire (now booking birthday parties).
Q: What did the snail riding the turtle say?
A: WHEEEEEEEE!
Hit the jump for a video of the uni in action.
Aug 18 2009 Kid Showing Off His Parallel Parking Skills
Jul 18 2009 Dark Knight Motorcycle Gear Coming Soon
Want a replica of Batman's motorcycle outfit from The Dark Knight to sport on your own crotch rocket? Well get excited, because Universal Designs is about to release them for an undisclosed sum of money. Sorry Robin, but you're still riding bitch.
An Officially Licensed Replica Like No Other is Coming.
- Strong Cordura Mesh Base with Heavy-duty 4 way stretch Spandex
- Removable CE Approved Body Armor in both Jacket and Pants
- Highly detailed, removable lightweight interior lining.
- Form Molded Leather and Kevlar Armor Sections.
- Made from Quality Tanned Cow Hides
No word on cost or when they're actually dropping but THESE THINGS ARE HOT! Unfortunately, my mom won't let me get a motorcycle because she says their too dangerous and she hasn't even removed the training wheels on my bicycle yet. So, give it to me straight: think I'll still be able to pedal in those pants? And, more importantly: would you ride in my basket? Come on -- I'll let you ring the bell!
Thanks to Skroonk, Davie B and FDSY, who have all danced with the devil in the pale moonlight -- and looked up his skirt.
Jul 1 2009 Vroom Vroom Kabloom: 2,700 HP Jet Truck
Chris Lentz, instead of going the classy route and getting a pair of truck nuts, decided to throw a Czech built Motorlet M-701 turbojet in the bed of his truck.
The fifty-five-year-old electrical foreman from Jackson, Michigan, had longed for a jet-powered truck for decades. Two years ago, Lentz discovered a way to realize his dream when he met a pilot from New York who imported used turbojet engines. After watching an example run on a test stand, Lentz paid $10,000 for one.
Unfortunately, it's pretty unimpressive.
Without jet assist, Lentz's 231-hp V-8 accelerated its 6600-pound burden (truck, jet engine, two occupants) to 60 mph in a sluggish 14.5 seconds.
The best of three runs in hybrid mode - exploiting both piston and jet propulsion - trimmed six seconds from the sprint to 60 mph. The quarter-mile speed jumped 30 mph and we achieved 140 mph after 45 seconds of acceleration.
Wow. You could probably tape bottle rockets to your bumper and go faster. Just sayin', HAPPY CANADA DAY! Somebody burn themself with a firework for me.
Video after the jump.
Continue Reading " Vroom Vroom Kabloom: 2,700 HP Jet Truck "
Jun 8 2009 Stealth Dodge Challenger Built By Air Force
Want to join the Air Force? Look at the picture above. How about now? Still no? Well damn, the Air Force is gonna be pissed -- this was supposed to be a powerful recruitment tool.
The Challenger Vapor features radar-absorbing stealth-black paint, not unlike what is used to mask stealth bombers. The Vapor is set to run almost silently, thanks to "stealth exhaust" - whatever that means. Reminds us of when KITT used to go "Silent Mode" on Knight Rider. You need biometric verification to enter the cockpit via gull wing doors. The driver can view night/thermal vision projections on the windshield while sitting in a compartment that looks like something out of Crimson Tide.
Listen, Air Force, I'm not one to tell somebody how to do their job, but if you want new recruits, you're going about it all wrong. Two words: Free jetpacks. You think about it.
UPDATE: Looks like they also made a Mustang with a jet-like cockpit. Added pics after jump.
Hit the jump for a couple more shots and a short video of the thing.
Continue Reading " Stealth Dodge Challenger Built By Air Force "
May 6 2009 Wait, What?: A Chocolate Powered Race Car
That's right, a team at Warwick University have developed a race car that's made out of vegetables and runs on chocolate. Of course, gumdrops and licorice sticks would have been cooler, but hey, you work with what you've got.
The racer isn't legal to race in the F3-series as chocolate-based fuels aren't on the approved list of energy sources, but that's not the point. The WorldFirst team is trying to prove green-racing doesn't have to mean boring-racing. They've used recycled materials in combination with fibers and extracts of fruits, vegetables and plants to create composites, materials and lubricants along the same vein as carbon fiber, plastics, and oil. It's based on the standard Lola chassis and despite the eco-friendliness, the car will still hit 145 MPH and corner like the real deal.
Well snap crackle pop! Plus, if you crash in the wilderness you can eat your car to survive. Double whammy! Now, here's your fun word fact for the day: race car is spelled the same forwards and backwards. It's a palindrome, just like "Wo! Nemo, Toss a Lasso to Me Now!" You know that joker Mr. Wizard that used to be on TV? Yeah, well I'm like his illegitimate cousin, Mr. Word Wizard. Except I don't invite neighborhood kids over to my house all the time BECAUSE THAT'S NOT HOW I ROLL.
WorldFirst ecoF3: A Chocolate-Powered Sustainable Race Car [jalopnik]
Thanks to Dr Freak, Thumperchica, Lisa, Stirling and James, who made a race car that was powered by dreams but crashed it when one of them had a nightmare.
Mar 31 2009 Man Scores DUI On Homemade Barstool Kart
Kile Wygle (awesome name), 28, recently received a DUI after crashing his homemade bar-stool kart (pictured) and calling 911.
Kile crashed his bar stool near his Newark home earlier this month and called 911 due to his injuries. When an officer arrived and asked Wygle what happened, he answered, "I wrecked my bar stool." According to a Newark Police Division report, a copy of which you'll find here, Wygle's homemade ride is powered by a Briggs & Stratton lawnmower engine. Wygle noted that the bar stool could hit nearly 40 miles per hour, but that he was only going 20 when he wiped out late in the afternoon on March 4 (a witness told police that he spotted someone driving a "strange motorized machine" before the crash). A plastered Wygle, who failed a series of field sobriety tests, was charged with DUI and driving with a suspended license, both misdemeanors. His bar stool was not impounded.
Damnit Kile, why'd you have to go and call the cops? You should have just brushed yourself off and then popped wheelies all the way home. You could have been Rad to the power of Sick! But nooooo. Now you're just DUI to the power of APB: Kile's riding his bar-stool drunk again. You failure.
Cops Bust Stool Fool [thesmokinggun]
Thanks to Jerkster, Just...A Guy, Timo, Stacey, Chris and BiSScuiTT, who are all smart enough to drive on the sidewalk.
Mar 13 2009 Vroom Vroom: Pow-Pow-POWER WHEELS!
This is a video of some folks riding over-powered Power Wheels. It looks like they're having about as much fun as one can have in the snow without a Woolly Mammoth. Which, I am happy to announce, is like *this close* to being cloned. Suffice it to say SOMEBODY has been loading up on Trojan Magnums -- and I think it's you!
Over-Powered Power Wheels [liveleak]
Thanks to Julian, who drove his Power Wheels right into a telephone pole and lived to come back and cut the pole down with a chainsaw.
Mar 11 2009 Race Car Controlled With Blackberry Storm
So apparently some guys programmed a Blackberry Storm to control a little toy race car using its accelerometers. Then they posted the video on Youtube. Then McLaren saw the video and contacted them about using the device to control a real race car. And that's what they did (second half of the video). Pretty neat. Sure, not as neat as controlling a race car with your mind, but hey, we'd have to go to the aliens for that technology. Which would probably require a few sacrificial probings. Just saying, I'm friends with them. Ladies? No? Okay, plan B. Effeminate gentlemen?
Thanks to Curtis and Troy, who both know race car is the same spelled forward and backwards. It's palindromic!
Feb 27 2009 Aha!: The Secret To Google Street View
You ever wonder how those Google Street cars are covering the world's roads so quickly? Hyperdrive, baby, hyperdrive. CLICK CLICK VROOM VROOM!
Google Maps
Thanks to kulow, who discovered the worm hole searching for directions to Jimmy John's. Subs so fast you'll freak, mmmm.
Feb 14 2009 Real-Life Warhammer 40,000 Rhino Transport
So the creaters of Warhammer went and made a real-life Space Marine Rhino replica to folks excited about the upcoming video game. And, also, to crush the hell out of some little cars. Per my tipster, Sam:
Thought you might be interested in knowing about this, as it was modified from a old WWII British tank to promote the upcoming Warhammer 40000: Dawn of War 2 game that is about a week away from being released.
Nothing really amazing if it was just a normal tank (crushing cars is still cool, but still would be nothing new) but since it was heavily modified into a working replica (mostly) of the Warhammer 40000 Space Marine Rhino transport, it's been an ecstasy trip for 40kiers like me and anyone else seeing one their favorite tabletop franchise coming to life.
Freaking sweet -- I want one. And not just because some jerk broke my passenger side mirror off without leaving a note. No, it's because I want to crush the car that did it -- driver too! With a tank. A Warhammer tank. VROOM VROOM!! This ain't no table-top game, bitch, this is real life!
Thanks to Sam, who Wars the Hammer like nobody's biz.
Jan 25 2009 Vroom Vroom For Six, Please: A Racecar Limo
This street-legal racecar limo is actually available for hire and can allegedly reach up to 300MPH. Of course your sissy of a driver will probably never top 65MPH, but that's because this whole idea is stupid. Unless you get a couple highspeed track runs before going to you to the dance, in which case, maybe. All I'm saying is if I had gone to prom in that mother, I most certainly would have gotten to touch a boob. And by touch a boob I obviously mean cop a feel. I'm thinking the old "sudden braking" reach across.
Jan 24 2009 Who Knew?: Vader Drives A Sports Car
First we discovered Lotus Exiges are standard issue for Imperial Stormtroopers, and now that Vader blasts around in a little Ariel Atom. What next, JarJar in a septic truck? Or maybe an Ewok in a fur-covered Caddy with fuzzy dice hanging from the rearview? Oooh -- and a Princess Leia hula girl dancing in the back window. Which, be honest, the thought of just gave you a boner. Just saying, now accepting pre-orders.
Hit the jump for a picture of Vader's Stormtrooper pit crew, the identity of the Lotus Stormtrooper revealed (SPOILER: it's a hot chick!), and a Stormtrooper dryhumping his girlfriend.
Jan 22 2009 Stormtroopering Pays More Than Expected
This is a picture of an Imperial Stormtrooper driving a Lotus Exige. And you know, it really got me thinking -- why am I hanging with this ragtag bag of dicks in the Rebel Alliance -- these guys don't pay shit. I mean, Jesus, I have to use public transportation. Just saying, I look good in white.
Storm Trooper Trades In Speeder Bike For Something A Little More Agile [jalopnik]
Thanks to ZOMBIE BOB, who allegedly ate Ewok brain and loved it.
Jan 21 2009 Wow, That's Woody: A Custom Wooden Vespa
This wooden Vespa was made by woodmaster Carlos Alberto to show off his skills in the art of woodery. The entire exterior was constructed of laminated hardwood and, I've got to admit, it looks pretty damn amazing. But the question remains: is there a cooler form of transportation than a wooden Vespa? And the answer, of course, is yes, all of them. Including hobbling on crutches.
Hit the jump for several closeups and a link to the build page.
Continue Reading " Wow, That's Woody: A Custom Wooden Vespa "
