Oct 30 2009 Russia To Build Nuclear Powered Spaceship

You read correctly: Russia plans to build a nuclear powered spaceship. I smell a new cold cool lukewarm war coming on! ADVANCE THE DOOMSDAY CLOCK!

Roscosmos, Russia's Federal Space Agency has a new design for a manned spacecraft powered by a nuclear engine. Anatoly Perminov, the head of the agency, told reporters yesterday the goal of the Megawatt-class spaceship was "implementing large-scale space exploration programs."

Perminov added that this new spacecraft -- which will have a preliminary design by 2012 -- is supposed to help Russia maintain its edge in space, and possibly allow travel to the Moon or Mars. But Anatoly Koroteyev, president of the Russian Academy of Cosmonautics and head of the Keldysh research center, told RIA-Novosti that setting up permanent base on the moon was still out of the question.

Listen, I'm all for atomic energy, but I can't imagine the aliens being too thrilled about the Ruskies launching an atomic missile in their direction. AND YOU WONDER WHY THEY COME TO EARTH AND STICK THINGS IN OUR ASSES.

Поехали! Russia Plans Atomic-Powered Spaceship [wired]

Thanks to Nick, who built a nuclear reactor in his parents' basement but got grounded when they found it.

Oct 13 2009 Aliens Are Here, Apparently Vodka Drinkers

Aliens were recently spotted (well, not literally) hovering over Moscow and playing with the clouds above the city because they have that technology and like to make our meteorologists jealous for sucking so bad at predicting the weather (you said no rain today, jerks!). And don't even try to tell me there's some other reasonable explanation for this video, because there isn't. Even Stephen Hawking agrees with me, and that guy knows his stuff. Isn't that right, Stephen? STEPHEN?! Need I remind you you're parked precariously close to the stairs?

Youtube

Thanks to Sergey, melissa and roy, who would have at least thrown a rock at it or something.

Jun 8 2009 Evading The Red Army: Russian Freerunning

Not to be outdone by wicked sickness that is ninja boy, this is an older video of some wicked Russian freerunning/climbing. It's pretty impressive and if I had even half those moves I would have spent a lot less in the slammer learning about love and relationships and bartering one's ass for cigarettes. Regardless, I think we can all agree that the world would be a much different place now if the Ruskies had this intelligence during the Cold War. Read: I'd be drinking vodka right now. Wait, I am drinking vodka right now. I HEART YOU RUSSIA!

Send me a bride.

Youtube

Thanks to AmericanKGB, who may or may not be working both sides. I suspect he is.

Apr 24 2009 Crossing The Line?: Bacon Flavored Vodka

Ha, what line? Yes, Bakon is bacon flavored vodka. Yes, it's real. Yes, it's only available in Washington, Idaho, Montana and Oregon right now. Yes, I want to try it. Yes, I want to pour it on a stripper. No, I don't want to lick it off.

Hit the jump for recipes and a link to the official site.

Continue Reading " Crossing The Line?: Bacon Flavored Vodka "

Mar 13 2009 Chug Those Dots!: A Pac-Man Energy Drink

Nearly thirty years after the yellow dot-munching fool made his first appearance, the mouthy bastard finally gets his own energy drink. Pac-Man Power Up Energy Drink is a three-dollar 8.4oz cherry flavored caffeine high that'll have you bouncing off the walls before you can say, "threeway with Inky and Blinky. No, wait -- Blinky and Clyde. Okay, whoever the blue and orange ones are, those are the ones I want. Finally answer! Oh, and Ms. Pac-Man can watch if she wants." Haha, caffeine isn't instantaneous, silly!

pac-man energy drink perfect for washing down power pills, pretzels, strawberries and ghosts [technabob]