Jul 7 2009 Laser LightLane Creates Your Own Bike Lane
You know what I hate about bicycling? All the pedaling. I have tiny chicken legs and can't even pedal my Big Wheels to the mailbox without running out of steam and crashing into the azaleas. But for your hardier folk, the LightLane is a little laser system that attaches to your bike and provides you with a laser-line bike lane wherever you go. Clever idea. Now are you thinking what I'm thinking? If you answered, "no officer, I was not swerving, I was following the bike lane," you are!
Thanks to Rogefgv, Romeo and Mandy, who ride those bikes with the giant ass wheel in the front and the little tiny one in the back. Because they're oldschool killas.
May 5 2009 Pfft, Who Needs Ears?: Pierced Glasses
Born without ears? Lose them in a samurai sword fight? Whatever the case, for those of you who have found yourself both aurally and ocularly challenged, you may want to consider pierced glasses. Pierced glasses are a pair of prescription eyeglasses that stay affixed to your ugly mug via a piercing through the nose. Pretty clever. Not as clever as just having Lasik surgery so you can shoot lasers out of your eyeballs, but hey, laser vision isn't for everyone. And, incidentally, neither are laser-wangs. Go ask The Superficial Writer why he's blind in one eye.
Pierced Eyeglasses [bmezine]
Thanks to Warfaremonkey, who wears a pierced hat and is now limited to the use of his animal brain like Phineas Gage.
Mar 5 2009 Blind Man Sees The Light With Bionic Eye
Ron is a 73-year old who went blind 30 years ago due to mysterious circumstances (the article didn't say). He hasn't been able to see anything since. I'm talking nothing. Pure blackness. But now, thanks to bionic eye surgery, he can finally see the light (again). Did somebody say laser vision? PEW PEW!
It uses a camera and video processor mounted on sunglasses to send captured images wirelessly to a tiny receiver on the outside of the eye. In turn, the receiver passes on the data via a tiny cable to an array of electrodes which sit on the retina - the layer of specialised cells that normally respond to light found at the back of the eye.
When these electrodes are stimulated they send messages along the optic nerve to the brain, which is able to perceive patterns of light and dark spots corresponding to which electrodes have been stimulated.He says he can now follow white lines on the road, and even sort socks, using the bionic eye, known as Argus II.
Whoa whoa whoa -- let's slow down a minute. I'm all for bionic eyes, but don't you think it's a little early to be out on the road? Just saying. Quick Ron, how many fingers am I holding up? *POW* -- a fistful! Ron, can you see me? Ron? Uh-oh. Bionic eyes aren't expensive, are they? Looks like he might need a nose too.
Bionic eye gives blind man sight [bbcnews]
Thanks to Mal, who can see you through the internet. Mal, now describe to me what the ladies are wearing.
Feb 23 2009 Boy Born With Cat Eyes, Can See In The Dark
Nong Youhui is a Chinese boy who was born with cat eyes that glow in the dark and enable him to see like a cat in the night (possibly as a result of nuclear waste). He can allegedly see as well in the dark as you can in the light. Except -- WICKA-POW! -- now you can't see shit because your eyes are swollen shut. I warned you, don't look at me funny! Okay, so I forgot to warn you, but still, you should know better.
Dad Ling said: "They told me he would grow out of it and that his eyes would stop glowing and turn black like most Chinese people but they never did."
Experts believe he was born with a rare condition called leukodermia which has left his eyes with less protective pigment and more sensitive to light.
Man, I want leukodermia. So what if I can't go out in the daylight, I don't anyways. But at least when I'll be able to see if the toilet seat's down at night. Am I right ladies? I pee sitting down too!
Cat-boy can see in the dark [thesun]
Thanks to Boing, who doesn't need cat-eyes to see you while you sleep because he's standing over you with night-vision goggles.
Dec 1 2008 The Race Is On: To A Camera In Your Eye
Remember the story a few weeks ago of the artist woman that wanted a webcam installed in her eyeball? Well it turns out she may have been beat to the chase (and subsequent fall and eye gouging) by Steve Mann, who is *this close* to having the procedure done. Check out the Eyeborg blog for more info on Steve's quest to become part machine (and thus, a mortal enemy). There's even a really gross video of Steve getting his (already damaged) eye removed. Awesome! And by awesome I mean I just threw up cereal all over the keyboard! Cool! Not really! But kind of! Okay I'm mostly just grossed out! Can you tell the period key is stuck?
Thanks to Arni, who had a camera installed in his ear but broke it with a Q-tip.
Nov 28 2008 Fool Me Once, Shame On You, Fool Me Twice, Damnit, You Got Me Again: Real X-Ray Specs Here? Geekologie Writer Hopeful
Allegedly David Steele, a pervert, is selling 30 and 58mm lens filters capable of seeing through many kinds of fabric. I've got the feeling they only work with sheer wet t-shirts and fishnets, but whatever: boobs yo, boobs. Each lens costs $200 and purchase includes a free trial subscription to Perv Quarterly, a beard, and a pair of those glasses that tint in sunlight.
40 years later, real X-Ray specs finally hit the market [dvice]
Sep 12 2008 The Latest Microsoft Ad With Bill And Jerry
This is Microsoft's latest (and longest, at 4:30) commercial featuring Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates. I found it moderately entertaining. But what I really took away from the experience was this: if Bill Gates and Jerry Seinfeld ever stayed at my place, I'd rob those suckers blind. Or at least 20/100. That was a vision joke!
Thanks to Doug and Popadopolis, you can come stay at my place anytime. Just bring beer.
Jul 14 2008 Russian Ravers Go Blind From Laser Show
As many as 29 people may have partial vision loss as the result of a laser light show at an outdoor rave near Moscow last week. Several have experienced vision loss as high as 80 percent.
Attendees said heavy rains forced organizers to erect massive tents for the all-night dance party, and lasers that normally illuminate upwards into the sky were instead partially refracted into the ravers' eyes.
Now don't get me wrong, a person losing their vision is freaking awful, and I hope all those affected by this show can get some kind of help. But the point I'd like to make is this: a laser light show where the possibility of going blind doesn't exist is a crappy laser light show. You might as well hire a kid swinging a flashlight on a string. Seriously though folks, I wish these ravers the best and would like to remind you, the reader, to be careful with your eyes. Like testicles*, you only get two.
*Or ovaries.
Ravers lose sight at Russian laser show [reuters]
Thanks Mark and Romeo, have either one of you ever bitten through a glow-stick? I have, it tasted awful.
May 29 2008 DIY: Make Your Own Ultrasonic Batgoggles
Ever wanted to be a bat boy? Me too, but the local minor league team said I couldn't because of my club foot. So I'm going to have to settle for making my own ultrasonic batgoggles (not to be confused with lobster-vision).
What you see above is a homegrown device that enables humans to discover how bats must feel when using echolocation in order to judge how far away certain objects are. The main components are an Arduino microcontroller clone, Devantech ultrasonic sensor and a set of welding goggles.
Basically you can't see anything because of the welding goggles and the ultrasonic sensor controls audio feedback to let you know how far away something in your line of sight is (fast beeps for something close, slower for further away).
Awesome, I just built a pair and am about to give them a go. Oh wait:
Please do not wear these in hazardous environments or in traffic! These goggles are for educational purposes only and meant for controlled environments since they are intended to block your peripheral vision and regular vision so you are more reliant on auditory cues.
Ha, there's never any traffic on my street -- time to take these suckers for a spin in my girlfriend's car!
UPDATE: In retrospect they would have worked better had I busted out the windshield. Seriously though, I think a Buick is just what the neighbor's kitchen needed.
Video of the goggles in action and a link to the instructables page, after the jump.
Continue Reading " DIY: Make Your Own Ultrasonic Batgoggles "
Mar 6 2008 Scary: Brain Scanner Knows What You See
Soon computers will be able to know what you're looking at simply by reading your mind.
Scientists used a functional magnetic resonance imaging machine -- a real-time brain scanner -- to record the mental activity of a person looking at thousands of random pictures: people, animals, landscapes, objects, the stuff of everyday visual life. With those recordings the researchers built a computational model for predicting the mental patterns elicited by looking at any other photograph.
Wow, this is getting scary. Except for safety devices and video games, I'm afraid of the uses for this technology. I've been able to read minds for awhile now, and I've got to tell you, you don't always want to. Like right now the cat lying beside me is thinking about eating a bird. Which isn't so bad. But my roommate, who's playing Guitar Hero, is thinking about trying to mash the buttons with his pecker. Which is so bad, because it's my controller.
NOTE: I have no idea what the hell those pictures prove. I just posted them because that's what the other website had up. I think they might be Grateful Dead t-shirt designs.
Brain Scanner Can Tell What You're Looking At [wired]
Thanks to Billy Avenue, who is way cooler than a street, for the tip
Feb 13 2008 l337 Eye Chart Isn't Haxor Approved
This the l337 Eye Chart. It has some really basic acronyms people use online, but in the form of an eye chart! It says at the bottom if you can read it then you have l337 eyes. And I could, so my eyez must b teh l337! Unfortunately having l337 eyes doesn't come with wall hack capabilities, which is a shame because I think the couple that live next door are totally doing it.
l337 Eye Chart [neatorama]
Jan 22 2008 It's About Time: Self-Assembling Bionic Eyes
Finally, bionic vision. I've been waiting for this technology forever, and apparently it's right around the corner, waiting to pounce on me like a mugger. We have a group of electrical engineers from the University of Washington to thank for this awesome step into the future. The idea was to provide a means of streaming information in your field of vision without the use of some goofy looking glasses.
Sporting circuits a few nanometers thick and grain-of-sand-sized light-emitting diodes, the lenses have full Count Zero potential. They're also the product of some ingenious hackery: since contact lenses are delicate and circuit manufacture is hot and toxic, the researchers designed each component to attach itself only to certain other components. Their powder of circuits and diodes literally self-assembled into gadgetry when sprinkled onto the lens plastic.
The engineers say they'll have basic models out "fairly quickly", but the cooler wireless-enabled and radio/solar charging ones will take longer. And sadly, at this end of this post, I come to the realization that bionic vision has nothing to do with seeing through a woman's shirt.
Self-Assembling Bionic Eyes Coming Soon [wired]
Thanks to Sebastian, who doesn't need any special technology to get to see a woman's hooters, for the tip
