Jun 1 2009 Still A Virgin: Sale Of Purity Falls Through
Remember that 22-year old chick that was auctioning off her virginity? Well the winning $3.8 million was placed by an Australian real estate mogul. Unfortunately, he's bailing out of the deal. Why? His wife won't let him do it!
Natalie Dylan (not her real name) admitted the deal had fallen through.
Last week, she got a phone call from the rogue Romeo, a 38-year-old Australian real-estate businessman, who said he had to back out."I told him to go back into marriage therapy," sniped Dylan.
The Aussie cad then sheepishly asked for his $250,000 deposit back. Dylan said no hard feelings; it would be returned.
That's just like a wife to go and not let her husband bang some 22-year old virgin. I swear, women.
'DEFLOWER DEAL' GUY PULLS OUT [nypost]
Thanks to 42 y/o undead warlock, who doesn't have to pay for sex because he creates busty nymphs with his undead warlock powers. Oh oh, make me one!
Jan 29 2009 Unhappy Virgin Airways Passenger Writes Richard Branson Complaint Letter About Meal
A Virgin Airways passenger, thoroughly upset with the meal and service during a flight, took matters into his own hand, and wrote Sir Richard Branson a personal complaint letter about the experience. An exerpt:
So lets peel back the tin-foil on the main dish and see what's on offer.
I'll try and explain how this felt. Imagine being a twelve year old boy Richard. Now imagine it's Christmas morning and you're sat their with your final present to open. It's a big one, and you know what it is. It's that Goodmans stereo you picked out the catalogue and wrote to Santa about.Only you open the present and it's not in there. It's your hamster Richard. It's your hamster in the box and it's not breathing. That's how I felt
I just read an article this morning that said the customer actually got a job offer by Virgin to be the food critic for potential in-flight meals. It's a fact: complaint letters really do make dreams come true. And also, Disney. I always wanted to puke on a roller coaster!
Hit the jump to read the whole, lengthy letter, including reference pictures. It's basically the same thing I would have done, except with less cussing and threatening "to open a whole bag of airplane peanuts on that ass".
Jan 16 2009 Virgin Auctioning Virginity Allegedly Gets $3.7 Million Offer -- I Should Know, It Was Me!
Remember 'Natalie Dylan', the 22-year old strumpet who's claiming to be a virgin so she can auction off her virginity to your dad? Yeah, well in what appears to be the longest-running auction ever (my last post was in early September), Natalie has allegedly received a $3.7 million dollar bid. Which, I want it to be noted, I wouldn't even pay for a virgin t-rex. F*** it, not even an albino virgin t-rex. Also, just look at that chick -- I've seen plenty of virgins (or at least the same one in the mirror everyday), and that ain't no Mary.
Natalie allegedly received over 10,000 bids and plans to use the money to go to college (read: get even bigger implants and become an adult-film star). Best of luck, Natalie, I'm rooting for you. And also, bidding. Tosseth aside thine chastity belt -- thou virginity is mine! F***, now I'm even creeping myself out.
22-Year-Old Sells Virginity Online -- and Feds Can't Do a Thing to Stop Her [foxnews]
Thanks to Bryan and The Superficial Writer, who, despite pooling their Whopper coupons, only came up with enough for a 30 seconds apiece with Natalie -- not that they'd need anymore. HIYO!
Dec 10 2008 Oops!: Girl Loses Virginity, Texts Her Dad
Elizabeth Frisinger, 18, lost her virginity on the beach during a senior class trip. Then she accidentally texted her dad, telling him about it. Woops! Gotta be careful with the iPhone texting app, Lizzy, it's easy to text the wrong person. Seriously though, sweetheart, this could have been much worse. Just kidding -- you're totally f***ed! It could have only been worse if, instead of texting your dad, he was there. HIYO!
Meet Elizabeth Frisinger: She lost her virginity and accidentally texted her dad [inquisitr]
Thanks to Alejandro, who's smart enough to only email mom and dad about his sexual conquests.
Nov 30 2008 17,000 Push-Pin Super Mario 3 Mosiac
You know, sometimes you come across something that really makes you appreciate human ingenuity and dedication to a project. This isn't one of those.
What you're looking at it is a 17,000 push-pin mosaic mural, a product of three revisions and a total of two and a half semesters of work. The final revision took a whopping two months of work by the CIS Student Association at the University of the Fraser Valley, and it's currently sitting in the Student Computing Center over there.
17,000 push-pins, wow -- impressive work! And, whether you like the piece or not, I think we can all agree that these kids should be expelled for ganking office supplies.
Hit the jump for several more of the craziness (including an in-progress shot), along with a link to the Flickr gallery.
Nov 18 2008 Alien/Dragon Cars Gaining Popularity In Russia. Also, Remaining A Virgin, Vodka.
Apparently in Krasnoyarsk, Russia, the youth are obsessed with pimping out their cars with dragons, which is probably one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard. Dinosaurs, sure, but dragons? What are you, 10?
Thanks to some really imaginative car lovers with tons of time to kill, the youth of the Russian town get to witness some of the wildest car art in the world.Dragon Cars, as they are called, are apparently a real hoot in that neck of the woods and even bald guys with mean looking cars get all the chicks. Now that's what I call a culture shock!
No, dragon cars and dumb bastards getting chicks is not a culture shock. A culture shock is a worn-panty vending machine. *ahem* Japan. I <3 you -- call me. xoxo
Hit the jump for several more of dragon cars, including one of a bald guy smoking a hookah.
Nov 11 2008 Help A Virgin Devirginize!: Actually, Nevermind
Nobody has helped me devirginize, so why should I help anybody else? Gotta look out for numero uno, if you know what I mean. I'm gonna touch a boob yet. Anyway, some poor schmuck allegedly has a lady friend that will have sex with him if his website gets 5 million unique hits by New Years (just get a hook already you cheap bastard). Which, since he was only at 84,939 the last time I checked, probably isn't going to happen. How do I know? Click the link to his page to find out.
Haha, f*** you buddy!
Thanks to "this is not my site, I am happily sexed up" Brad, for rubbing that in my face.
Real site here if you really want to help the undeserving bastard.
Oct 15 2008 Virgin Shark Produced Shark Kitten
A female blacktip shark at the Virginia Aquarium & Marione Science Center recently passed away, and, upon necropsy, was discovered to be with shark puppy -- despite no male sharks being present for 8 years!
Virgin birth has been proven in some bony fish, amphibians, reptiles and birds, and has been suspected among sharks in the wild. The scientists who studied the Virginia and Nebraska sharks said the newly formed pups acquired one set of chromosomes when the mother's chromosomes split during egg development, then united anew.
Absent the chromosomes present in the male sperm, the offspring of an asexual conception have reduced genetic diversity and, the scientists said, may be at a disadvantage for surviving in the wild. A pup, for instance, can be more susceptible to congenital disorders and diseases.
Proof positive that when a woman wants to get pregnant -- no matter how often you dunk your balls in hot coffee -- she's gonna do it.
Scientists confirm shark's 'virgin birth' [msnbc]
Thanks to Heather and Abe, who both claim there was a dinosaur in Jurassic park that did the same thing. But they're wrong -- it was me!
Oct 7 2008 Virgin Galactic Refuses Money For Space Porn
Virgin Galactic recently refused $1 million from an undisclosed company to make a space porn aboard the SpaceShipTwo.
The cash was slapped on the table "up-front, for a sex-in-space movie", said the company's prez, Will Whitehorn, According to Space.com. He confirmed: "That was money we had to refuse, I'm afraid."According to Virgin, you only experience 5-minutes of weightlessness during the 2-hour flight to 62 miles high. Now I'm not saying that's not nearly long enough to make a good weightless space-porn, but you send me up there and I'll shoot two. Half of a third.
Virgin rejects $1m space sex offer [theregister]
Thanks to Pat, who's up to his eyeballs in alien vagina.
Sep 12 2008 UK University Offering Course In Jedi
Queen's University Belfast in Northern Ireland is offering a course in Jedi this semester.
According to its publicity material, the course, Feel the Force: How to Train in the Jedi Way, teaches the real-life psychological techniques behind Jedi mind tricks.
It also claims to examine the wider issues behind the Star Wars universe, like balance, destiny, dualism, fatherhood and fascism. The course will provide students with the fundamental building blocks they'll need to succeed in careers like never having sex.
Sign me up!
Bring your own light sabre: Uni launches Jedi course [abc]
Thanks to Miriam, who actually trained the very first Jedi.
Sep 11 2008 Grad Student Auctioning Her Virginity To Pay For School, I Am Winning, Don't Outbid Me
A female grad student at Sacramento State is selling her virginity in an auction to pay for her schooling. She may or may not have had a pair of baby high heels as an infant.
The 22-year-old who is using the pseudonym Natalie Dylan for safety reasons is going through a legal brothel in Nevada to sell her virginity. "The main purpose of this is to finance a couple things in my life," Dylan told CBS13. "I think empowerment of women is picking yourself up and doing something on your own to better yourself."
Dylan says she's already taken a polygraph test to prove her virginal status, and is also willing to undergo a medical exam.Hof says Dylan is a bright, beautiful young woman who's going to consider a number of factors in her decision because she wants her first time to be a positive experience. "Natalie is a very smart girl. All she wants to do is get her master's degree in family and marriage counseling and be a psychologist. She's selling her virginity to accomplish that," Hof told CBS13. "She's smart enough to sell it. This is empowering her."
I think we can all agree when I say this is most certainly what female empowerment is all about. Take that, glass ceiling!
Hit the jump for a more provocative picture.
Apr 25 2008 Where Do I Sign?: This Chick Will Do You If You're A Virgin And Swear By Net Neutrality
Warning: This is kind of risque. If your children are reading Geekologie over your shoulder then you should probably let them so they grow up to be the awesomest kids ever.
Tanya Devereaux is some chick that claims she'll do every virgin that takes an oath of internet neutrality.
I will make love with every virgin who defends the Internet. Certain ISP's are planning to limit internet access in a way that infringes upon internet freedom or 'net neutrality'. Description of Services The services consist of Tania performing sexual intercourse with the applicant, the form and style of the performance will be discussed prior to the act, Tania tries to allow as much freedom as possible in this area but she does reserve the right to decline suggestions. Tania covers all her personal expenses, including travel. Any sort of recording (video, audio or photographs) of the performance is allowed for non-commercial use. Tania adheres to high standards of service but due to time limitations each performance can last no longer than 30 minutes, no exceptions will be made under any circumstance.
Wow, then she goes on about some rules of conduct (which I have posted in their entirety after the jump), of which one particularly caught my eye: "If anywhere along the process, it becomes clear that the applicant is not a virgin, Tania reserves the right to terminate all activity." YES, I'M IN!! I've been having sex for well over a decade now and I guarantee there is no way in hell she'd ever think I have any experience.
Hit the jump for the full terms of service and an uncensored pic (still no nipple though).
Jan 23 2008 Virgin Galactic Flashes Its Spacecans For Us
Virgin Galactic recently showed off the spaceships that will take rich passengers into sub-orbit starting as early as next year. The ships will take off from Spaceport America in New Mexico. The picture above just shows the spaceship -- SpaceShip Two, but White Knight Two, which is a plane, is required to get the spaceship high enough to launch itself into space (pictures after the jump). The plane is near completed, and the spaceship is approximately 60% done. A trip will cost you about $200,000 -- which is pretty steep. For that kind of money they better give you more than a bag of peanuts and can of ginger ale for the flight. For $200,000 I'd expect at least a Burger King Value Meal. Upsized -- and with a shake for no extra cost.
UPDATE: Video added.
Hit the jump for a bunch more pictures of the ships and their construction, along with a video.
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