Nov 17 2009 Drunkest/Pilliest Man Ever Battles Laser Wizard At The Convenience Store, Loses

Remember the video of the world's drunkest/crunkest/least stand-uppiest man trying to score some beer from the convenience store? Well it turns out he was battling a previously unseen wizard trying to prevent him from drinking and walking. This security footage, enhanced with technology so advanced you wouldn't even be able to understand it, explains it all. Even better than Clarissa -- AND THAT BITCH KNEW EVERYTHING.

Youtube

Thanks to naas and matt, who are always smart enough to don their anti-invisible wizard capes when venturing out for more brewhaha.

Nov 16 2009 Bedtime Stories: Bioshock Told In 3 Minutes

This is a three-minute video of a woman reading the tale of Bioshock to a little kid old-ass man as a bedtime story. And, as a guy who recently played through Bioshock with his older brother (with all the lights on, and never after 7PM), I thought it was pretty good. But don't watch it unless you want the whole story spoiled. Because that's what it does, it spoils. Just like bad parents. YOU'LL GET NOTHING AND LIKE IT!

One Upon a Pixel [gametrailers]

Thanks to Jaker, the Joker's less clown-y brother. No makeup for him!

Nov 13 2009 VIDEO Of Bugatti Veyron Crash Into Marsh. Oh, And I Called It -- No Low-Flying Pelican

Apparently some kids happened to videotape the $1.6 million Bugatti Veyron crash from the other day. And, surprise surprise, there was no "low-flying pelican". Nope, just a man playing with himself in one of the world's most expensive production vehicles. Way to go, champ.

Hit the jump for a video of the car getting towed out.

Continue Reading " VIDEO Of Bugatti Veyron Crash Into Marsh. Oh, And I Called It -- No Low-Flying Pelican "

Nov 13 2009 Yeah, No: Video From Top of The Burj Dubai

This is a video taken from the top of the Burj Dubai, the tallest building in the world, at 2,684 ft. Jesus, that's half a mile. Can you believe humans are even capable of this? I can't -- I shit my swim trunks on the high dive once. But, to my credit, I did do one hell of a cannonball.

This Video From the Tip Top of the Burj Dubai Makes Me Sick to My Stomach [gizmodo]

Thanks to Rick, who has dived off higher platforms into a cup of water. I mean, he died, but he did do it.

Nov 13 2009 Intergalactic Beats: Star Wars Gangster Rap

This is a Star Wars gangster rap and music video created by Bent TV. It was incredibly well made except the rappers didn't seem like real mf'ing g's. They looked like a bunch of pranksters and studio gangsters. YES I GOT THE RIGHT TO RAP ABOUT THAT. Check it this little ditty I just came up with:

Princess Leia, what a ho, I tossed her down the Sarlacc Hole

Them Ewoks furry, tauntauns warm, I shot up the Death Star
Then got drunk off top-shelf liquor and had sex with like 30 AT-AT's

I AM THE HARDEST! HARDER THAN THESE DIAMOND CHAINS!

ALL NEW! Star Wars Gangsta Rap: Chronicles [atom]

Thanks to Jack, Angelina, Ringo and Mark, who are all hardcore mediumcore. Not bad!

Nov 11 2009 Awesome: Grand Theft Auto Meets Frogger

Youtube user daneboe, the same guy who created the Contra vs. Duck Hunt and Mortal Kombat vs. Donkey Kong videos is back at it, this time with some Grand Theft Auto vs. Frogger action (and bonus Sonic vs. Pac-Man after the jump!). And, as I've come to expect, they are awesome. Not as awesome as that time I drove my Big Wheels through a pile of burning leaves, but not everything awesome ends with a trip to the ER. Only the really REALLY awesome ones.

Hit the jump for Sonic vs. Pac-Man.

Continue Reading " Awesome: Grand Theft Auto Meets Frogger "

Nov 10 2009 Verizon's AT&T Bashing Holiday Commericals

This is one in a series of holiday Verizon ads bashing AT&T's 3G coverage. I thought they were tacky, particularly since it's not even Thanksgiving yet. ONE HOLIDAY AT A TIME, FOLKS, GEEZ. Where were the Pilgrim and Indian themed ads? Oh, right -- you ran them in July. I only jest, Verizon, and in the spirit of giving thanks let's smoke this peace pipe together. Oh yeah, that's the stuff. Now pass the cornucopia -- I think I saw some chips.

Hit the jump for two more.

Continue Reading " Verizon's AT&T Bashing Holiday Commericals "

Nov 5 2009 Last Halloween Post, Swear: AT-AT Costumes

Geekologie Reader Robert went and lovingly handcrafted an AT-AT costume for his miniature pincher. This is a video of the handsome little devil parading around and trying to eat the mask. CUUUUUUTE! And, as an added bonus, I included a video of an impressive two-man AT-AT costume after the jump. SO DON'T SAY I NEVER GAVE YOU ANYTHING. Besides that rash, which, admit it, kind of looks like a heart.

Hit the jump for the two-man human version.

Continue Reading " Last Halloween Post, Swear: AT-AT Costumes "

Nov 5 2009 WTF Was That?: The Lateset Android Ad

Just as I suspected, Motorola's new Droid phone (which drops tomorrow) is at the middle of a U.S. government conspiracy to wipe out the American midwest. Why the government would want to do this is beyond me, but if I had to guess it has something to do with farm subsidies. I'm on to you, the man!

Youtube

Thanks to Marc, Blitz and Tiny Jim, who have all ridden in stealth bombers but they can't talk about it because if they did they'd have to stealth kill you like a ninja.

Nov 4 2009 How To: Open A Wine Bottle Sans Corkscrew

Ever needed to open a bottle of wine but didn't have a corkscrew? Apparently all you need a shoe and something rock hard. LIKE MY ASS ABS ASS. Alternatively, break the top off and chug the whole bottle. I mean, unless you're cool being a sissy boy. Trust me, manliest way to drink wine. AND THERE AREN'T MANY.

MacGyvered Inebriation: Guy Opens Wine Bottle With Shoe [uberreview]

Nov 4 2009 Tutorial: How To Make The Chewbacca Sound

This is a short video tutorial of some busty geek girl teaching you how to sound like Chewbacca. And I don't care how cute you think she is, watch her from 1:10 to 1:18 and then tell me that. Also, whether you follow the instructions or not, you're gonna end up looking retarded. Just a heads up.

Youtube

Thanks to Rémy, whose name may have been lost in formatting.

Nov 3 2009 The One And Only Christopher Walken Performing Lady GaGa's 'Poker Face'

This is a video of Christopher Walken reading Lady Gaga's song 'Poker Face' on the BBC's Friday Night with Jonathan Ross. Trust me, it's every bit as awesome as it sounds. Plus some. MULTIPLIED BY MORE. And then divided by a fraction less than 1.

Youtube

Thanks to killerabbit, Russel, The F'n Jem'Hadar and sham, who know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away and when to run.

Nov 1 2009 Sure, Why Not?: Driving Around In A Half-Car

Ever wanted to see some crazy Serbian driving around in car that's been cut in half? Then today's your lucky day! I kept waiting for him to flip the thing over on himself but the physics weren't there. And speaking of crazy Serbians: I used to know one. He drove a bright yellow VW GTI with a matching smiley face air freshener hanging from the rearview and an AK-47 in the trunk. I never rode with him.

Youtube

Thanks to alex, who claims he could do the same thing with a 1/4 car.

Oct 29 2009 Another Halloween, Another The Same Couple Of Guys Dressed As Giant iPhones

Have a spare flat-screen television sitting around and want to trick-or-treat as a giant iHole iPhone? Me neither. But these two guys did (who, it turns out, are the same cats in this video with their 2007 iPhone costumes), and more power to them. And by more power I mean less candy. GET OFF MY LAWN!

Youtube

Thanks to Bryan, ViLLaiN, ashlyn and Chrissy, who will be trick-or-treating as total badasses. (No costumes necessary)

Oct 27 2009 Amazing!: A Hummingbird Feeder Helmet

This is a video of a hummingbird feeder that's incorporated into a $80 flowery mask. You leave it outside for awhile to get the birds used to it, then put that sucker on one day and sit still while the hummers come to feed right between your eyes. INTENSE! Reminds me of the time I let a murder of crows peck my eyes out. Probably shouldn't have done that. But like they say, hindsight's 20/20. Except mine, I'm totally blind now.

Product Site
via
Wearable hummingbird feeder: they'll think your eyes are juicy, delicious flowers! [boingboing]

Thanks to Fally, who once fed an owl a mouse right from her hand because she's an adrenaline junkie.

Oct 24 2009 Fake, But Still Burn It With Lasers (You Never Can Be Too Safe): A Scary Dancing Robot

I'm pretty sure half the people that sent this in thought it's an actual robot, but being the astute robot slaya that I am, it wasn't hard for me to tell this is just a jackass in a robot costume. Don't get me wrong, I'd still burn that bitch like a witch (or doobie), he just doesn't pose the threat an actual robot would. Or DOES he? *pew pew!* He doesn't.

Youtube
and
Youtube (longer, 9:00 video)

Thanks to Rich the destroyer, paul, KennethJ, Ted, Mungo9000, chris, Albert, Tuggis, karrameg, Steven, hatcher, Big Bug, parking block and Wendy, who actually knew it was a person the whole time and just wanted to scare me.

Oct 23 2009 CHOO CHOO!: A Little Superconductor Train

This is some French guy making a little superconductor train out of a bunch of magnets and a cup of magic potion. I have no idea what's in the magic potion but that won't stop me from chugging a whole chalice in the hopes of floating. Plus, it even works upside down which is super cool because I've always wanted to take a nap on the ceiling. I will drool on you!

Youtube

Thanks to Rich the destroyer, who destroys because he's Rich the destroyer damnit, you know who he is!

Oct 22 2009 I'm A Ninja, I Can Do That: Crazy Trampolining

This is a video of Oli Lemieux doing some wild ass trampolining plus wall walking and other ninja-y stuff while practicing for a Cirque du Soleil show. It's pretty cool but I could do it all twice as good but I would never film it because I'm modest. Also, the most handsome man on the planet.

Youtube

Thanks to The Gurr, MoD, Asbo and Jennie, who once jumped so high on a trampoline they showed up on radar and the government shot missiles at them.

Oct 22 2009 Impressive: Ghostbusters Theme Multi-Track

This is a video of a curly haired (and sometimes shirtless) Matt Mulholland performing the Ghostbusters theme song by combining 14 separate tracks of him making noises. Now I know we've already seen examples of multi-tracking before, but I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night, know what I'm saying? I'm saying there was blood on the mattress and they wouldn't give me a discount. Pay me, Marriott.

Youtube

Thanks to Edd, who sleeps in the car on long road trips to save money.

Oct 21 2009 Stop Motion Of Papercraft Link Construction

This is a little stop motion video of a papercrafter constructing a Link model. The model is amazing, and so is the build, so you should check it out. But you shouldn't check out library books that will get you blacklisted. Or women on the street. BECAUSE I AM AGAINST THE OBJECTIFICATION OF WOMEN. Women are people too, you know. Except those crazy bodybuilding ones. They're wild animals.

Youtube

Thanks to Jessica, who once made a papercraft model of the Geekologie Writer and then burn it as an effigy. Gee, thanks.