Jun 1 2009 New Yorker Cover Painted On iPhone

This is a video of Jorge Columbo (not to be confused with Peter Falk) painting the cover of the latest New Yorker, which was created using a $4 iPhone app called Brushes. As you can see, it's okay. Don't get me wrong, I love all hotdog vendors, but I would have gone with Ignatius dressed as a pirate. Paradise Vending FTW? Dunces FTW!

Cover Story: Finger Painting [newyorker]

Thanks to e, who knows the only iPhone app you need is Scramble.

Mar 2 2009 Bought It!: Dogs Licking your iPhone Clean

iClean is a 99¢ iPhone/iPod Touch application that makes it look like a dog is lick-cleaning your screen from the inside out. How precious! Currently there are only three lickers available, but more are promised in future updates. I just bought it! Best 99¢ I've ever spent. Well, except for the time I put $1 in a vending machine and got two bags of Doritos. There was a Cool Ranch hanger!

iClean Brings Puppy Lick Fest To Your iPhone [iphonesavior]

Thanks to Seth, who promises to make a human version soon. I can hardly wait! No thanks.

Feb 22 2009 Selling Candy In Human Vending Machines

Kit-Kat, tired of me reaching my hand up through the door at the bottom and stealing their candy, has decided to call in the big guns: namely, human vending machines.

Don't expect these things to pop up on every street corner though; they are part of the 'Working Like a Machine' campaign that's being run by Kit Kat to show how people need a break from the monotony of day to day life.

The idea was stolen from Japan like everything else that is awesome in the world and makes me want to stick my hand up in a machine more than ever. Whatever, human vending machines need love too.

Kit Kat Unveils Human Vending Machines In London [gizmodo]

Thanks to Martyn, who once punched through the glass of a vending machine and stole a Snickers. Then I threatened to tell on him and ate the bar myself. It was the best one I've ever had.

Jul 14 2008 How To Win At Claw Machines: The Little Kid Method. Also, A Picture Of My Claw Winnings

We've all heard the stories before: some kid crawls into a claw machine trying to snag a free prize. Until now we just had to read about, but here comes the video! Note to parents: no matter what your paternal instincts are telling you, a claw machine is not a suitable babysitter. Hard to believe, I know.

Hit the jump for a picture I took with my cameraphone a while ago with a bunch of my claw machine winnings laid out (I'm a real catch ladies). Seriously, those are mine, and yes, the bullwhip in front actually came out of a claw machine. It was right next to a slingshot.

Continue Reading " How To Win At Claw Machines: The Little Kid Method. Also, A Picture Of My Claw Winnings "

Jul 11 2008 Gumball Machine Dispenses Ideas, Bad Ones

This is a picture of a gumball machine Sarah Lustberg spotted in the East Village, NYC. It dispenses ideas for 50¢ a pop. Of course, they're probably bad ideas. Stuff like, "Tag the door to the right" and, "Shop in the store to the left". Still, a clever concept. Add a webcam, throw in some ideas like, "You have superhuman strength, try to stop a car", and presto: you've got your own Youtube channel.*

*That'll be 50¢. I accept Paypal.

Best Idea Ever: Gumball Machine Sells ... Ideas! [neatorama]

Thanks to Romeo, who sells ideas via 1-800-BAD-IDEA for the low, low introductory rate of $3.99 for the first idea, $2.99 each additional idea. He also does horoscopes and recipes.

Jun 13 2008 The Anger Release Machine Breaks Things

Let's face it, sometimes you're going apeshit and the only thing that'll make you feel better is breaking something. Enter the Anger Release Machine. It's a vending machine created by artists Katja Kublitz and Ronnie Yarisal that's filled with china. You just insert your money, choose a delicate porcelain object, and then watch it smash to smithereens in the bottom. That feels good, doesn't it? Hell yes it does. And so does screaming at your laptop. ISN'T THAT RIGHT YOU STUPID BLUE-SCREENING PIECE OF SHIT!? Oh yeah, that's the stuff.

Anger Release Machine, Spend Change, Smash China [uberreview]

May 20 2008 Coca-Cola Vending Robots Spotted In Japan

So apparently Coca-Cola has these oversized robotic bastards lumbering around Tokyo and pinching the heads off anyone that doesn't buy an ice-cold Coke from its cooling chamber. Has anybody seen one? Do they actually walk around? Is there really just a person about to pass out from heatstroke in there? Has anyone tried knocking one over and prying its change receptacle open with a flathead? I need answers. But what I don't need is a giant robotic vending machine in my neighborhood. I do like Coke though. Who I don't like is Dr. Pepper -- I think that creep tried to touch me when I was under the gas.

coca-cola robots invade japan [technabob]

photo [flickr]

Thanks Steve, lets go robot tipping sometime

May 6 2008 Win Lobsters In A Claw Machine. HAAHAHA A!

Get it? Lobsters, claw machine? Lobsters have claws, this claw machine has lobsters, I have no brain. I've actually known about these machines for a while, because I was filming a documentary about people (me) who get drunk and travel around to bars playing claw games. If you think I'm joking I have three trashbags filled with stuffed animals and crap to prove it. Oh, and I saw one like this at a seafood restaurant in the Outer Banks. The place would even cook your lobster for you if you won. But it cost $1 to play so I only got to try twice. And even being a claw machine expert, I couldn't freaking grab the crustaceous bastard I had my eye on. I did manage to tear one of his legs off though.

NOTE: Not really.

Worthwhile video of people playing, after the jump.

Continue Reading " Win Lobsters In A Claw Machine. HAAHAHA A! "

Apr 22 2008 Sure, Why Not?: Shoe Vending Machines

Here at Geekologie we've seen all kinds of different vending machines. We've seen ones that dispense soccer balls, pizzas, people, pot, other drugs, and even small children. Well now we're adding shoes to that list. As someone who has woken up shoeless and in a ditch on the bad side of town several times, so I can attest to the brilliance of footwear vending machines. This particular dispensary is on London's Carnaby Street and spits out Onitsuka Tigers. The machine holds 24 pairs in 6 different sizes (probably no 14's) and each costs an undisclosed number of coconuts. As you can see from the picture, the machine really attracts the chicks, and I'd totally do them all.

UPDATE: Okay, turns out that third chick is actually a dude. I retract my previous statement. I would now only do chicks 1, 2, and 4, despite dude's silky soft hair, capris, and fetching mustachio.

Shoe Vending Machine, Buy Shoes 24/7 [uberreview]

Apr 17 2008 Another Kid Gets Stuck In A Claw Machine

Do you remember the story from two years ago where the kid in Wisconsin climbed into a crane game trying to score a free Spongebob? If not here's a link to it, and that's actually a picture of him there. Well folks, it happened again, and this time in Australia in a game called Lucky Dip. Weird I was just talking about my love of crane games yesterday don't you think? Coincidence or superpower? You decide. Anyway, there's a video of the amazing rescue (taking off the side of the machine) after the jump. Although I think that was a little over the top. Not to brag or anything, but I could have snagged the little bugger by the head with a single quarter. Sure it wouldn't have done anything seeing how he's just standing in the prize chute, but it would have taught his parents a valuable lesson. A lesson about not stuffing your child into a vending machine for a "time out".

Video of the action packed after the jump.

Continue Reading " Another Kid Gets Stuck In A Claw Machine "

Apr 16 2008 Japanese Cigarette Machine Asks For Your ID

You have to be 20 to smoke in Japan, but that hasn't stopped those younger than that from buying cigarettes (but not pot or other meds) from machines (which, unlike awesome robots, can't discern age). So now the Tobacco Institute of Japan has started rolling out machines that will only work after a "tobacco passport" age-verification card is swiped. What prevents Japanese schoolgirls from getting somebody else's card is very little, so I wonder how effective these will be. But what do I know? Did you say jack shit? Then you are absolutely correct, knew him in college. Well, his birth name is Jackamo Crapatonian, that was just a clever nickname we came up with.

Japanese Schoolgirl Watch: Tobacco Vending Machines Block Underage Smokers [wired]

Thanks to Melissa, who doesn't need an ID because everyone knows her, for the tip

Jan 30 2008 It's About Time: Pot Vending Machines

We posted another drug vending machine a little while ago, and now there's one made specifically for marijuana -- all thanks to Vincent Mehdizadeh, a Los Angeles medical-cannabis dispensary owner. The heavily armored machines dispense your medication in 1/8 and 1/4 ounce envelopes and require fingerprint and prepaid card verification in order to operate. 1/8 ounce packages go for about $40. The 24-hour machines were designed to provide "convenient access, lower prices, safety, and anonymity." Awesome, except they'll be stoners hanging around these things like flies waiting for people to use them.

A man who said he has been authorized to use medical marijuana as part of his anger management therapy said the vending machine's security measures would at least protect against illicit use of the drug.

However when his pot got stuck in the machine like a candy bar the man went bat-shit nuts and knocked the dispenser over, spilling skunky Baba Ghanoush Kush everywhere.

Pot vending machines take root in Las Angeles [msnbc]

Thanks to Ryan, who is both handsome and intelligent, for the tip

Dec 19 2007 InstyMeds Machine Dispenses Your Drugs

The InstyMeds machine was created by Ken Rosenblum to address the U.S. pharmacist shortage (which I was unaware of). You still have to get a prescription from a doctor (damn!) with a special barcode and then you feed it into the machine. The unit then dispenses the correct number (damn!) of pills in a bottle with printed dosage, warnings, etc. You can then pay at the machine via credit card or have it bill your insurance provider. "While the current model of the InstyMeds only holds about 100 different drugs, apparently 45 of those drugs represent 80% of what is prescribed by doctors." So chances are it's got what you're looking for. Unfortunately for the woman in the picture it doesn't carry retro-active birth control medication. Nor does it carry any anti-vampire serum for that blood sucker attacking her neck.

InstyMeds Is Like An ATM For Pharmaceuticals [ohgizmo]

Oct 22 2007 Japanese Lady Produces Unique Camouflage

Aya Tsukioka, a Japanese experimental fashion designer, has developed a line of completely wack camouflage for crime worried citizens. The designs include soda and vending machines, fire extinguisher bookbags for kids, and even a purse that resembles a manhole (so you can throw it in the road if you're being pursued and not get your stuff stolen, just run over). I have no freaking idea who in the hell Ms. Tsukioka thinks she's kidding -- I can't imagine anyone but the blind falling for these things. And me. On a recent trip to Japan I spent over twenty minutes trying to figure out how the hell to use the Coke machine. Turns out it was a freaking woman! She stole my money.

A bunch more pictures of this wackiness after the jump.

Continue Reading " Japanese Lady Produces Unique Camouflage "

Mar 7 2007 Get a miniature vending machine for your desk

For $160 you can get your own 12 can vending machine. It carries 3 cans per row, and even has a selector button to dispense the drink of choice. Although why stop at drinks? If you feel like it you could stuff animals in there and create the very first pet vending machine. Madness? Or genius!

Feb 28 2007 Wonder Pizza creates a pizza vending machine

Wonder Pizza USA is developing a vending machine that cooks and serves 9" whole pizzas in just under 2 minutes. Each machine can have up to three different kinds of pizzas available at a time, although I'm curious as to what kind of quality you'd get from a vending machine. I suspect you'd be better off eating pizza you found in a dumpster and washing it down with urine.