Nov 18 2009 Awh Yeah: Superhero Shaggin' Wagons
This is a little gallery of superhero shaggin' wagons. They're all Photoshopped, but that isn't stopping me from wanting to sleep in one. Gosh, I can't even remember the last time I made love in the back of a 70's van BECAUSE I BLACKED OUT LAST NIGHT. But seriously, I barely knew the guy and he said he had free candy.
Hit the jump for five more and a link to like six more after that. Jackpot!
Oct 21 2009 NASA Testing First New Rocket In 30 Years
NASA, an organization that has actually convinced itself they put men on the moon despite it being all staged in Hollywood, is now testing a new rocket. The phallic booster is the first new design to come out of agency since 1981. Which, incidentally, is the year I was born. What does all this mean? I'm 28!
The rocket is Ares I-X -- a suborbital prototype for the Ares I rocket NASA plans to use to launch its shuttle successor, the Orion spacecraft. Currently the world's tallest booster, the Ares I-X rolled out to the launch pad early Tuesday and is slated to blast off Oct. 27 at 8 a.m. EDT (1200 GMT) on a short demonstration flight.
"The Ares I-X is going to fly straight up and straight out," said NASA commentator George Diller as the 327-foot (100-meter) tall rocket began moving toward Launch Pad 39B at the Kennedy Space Center in Florida. "During that time we'll be testing the stage separation to determine how well the first stage separation motors perform, as well as the performance of the booster itself, namely the parachutes and other apparatus that will deploy."The $445 million rocket's rollout comes on the eve of a final report from an independent committee appointed by the White House to review NASA's plans for future human spaceflight.
You want me to tell you about the future of human spaceflight? Cause it goes like this: The Geekologie Writer builds a rocketship in the shed behind his house and blasts himself into the sun. Everyone is so sad rockets are banned for ever. Then everybody dies because you couldn't colonize Mars. The end.
NASA Unveils Ares 1-X Rocket for Historic Test Flight [foxnews]
Thanks to joseph, who tied his little brother to a bunch of fireworks and was just about to light the fuse when his mom caught him and yelled at him for having matches.
Sep 28 2009 Eat Your Peas: Construction Equipment Flatware For Kids (And Shameless Adults)
This set of Constructive Eating Kids' Utensils costs $20 but some of the proceeds go to funding health services for children. So that's cool. Plus, heavy machinery, how can you go wrong? BEEP BEEP -- back that thing up and dump some mashed potatoes IN MY MOUTH!
Transform mealtime into an educational, interactive construction zone! Construction-vehicle shaped fork, spoon, and pusher-scoop set makes learning to self-feed a fun activity.
* All materials FDA-approved, PVC/Phthalate/BPA-free
* Vibrant colors are stimulating and captivating
* An asset in the development of hand-eye coordination
* Dishwasher-safe
* Paint-free, lead-free
Okay, so they were really fishing for product attributes. When lead-free becomes a sellable product attribute for UTENSILS, you know you've hit rock bottom. That said, how much you want to bet that a study comes out soon touting lead is actually beneficial to a child's development? Trust me, these things are cyclical. Also, I make fake studies.
Thanks to Miss Bowser, who feeds her father, King Koopa, with an airplane spoon made from a real airplane.
Jun 8 2009 It's About Time: Haynes Manual For Apollo 11
This is the $29 Haynes Owners' Workshop Manual for all the vehicles and equipment used during the Apollo 11 mission to the moon. I'm still gonna pick up a copy, despite deciding to build my own rocketship for scratch (I'm hoping for pointers on seducing moon-women).
On 20 July 1969, US astronaut Neil Armstrong became the first man to walk on the moon. This is the story of the Apollo 11 mission and the 'space hardware' that made it all possible. This manual looks at the evolution and design of the mighty Saturn V rocket, the Command and Service Modules, and the Lunar Module. It describes the space suits worn by the crew and their special life support and communications systems.
There you have it, everything you need to know about how to fly a mission to the moon 40 years ago. Of course, things have changed since then. Namely, US women now have the right to vote. Yeah, and we haven't sent anyone else to the moon in 37 years. Coincidence, or should women not be allowed to drive? You decide.
Product Site
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NASA Apollo 11 Service Manual From Haynes [ohgizmo]
May 29 2008 Man Admits To Having Sexual Relations With Over 1,000 Vehicles. This Just In: I Vow To Never Rent A Car Again
Edward Smith has sex with cars and doesn't care if you think he's a demented perv (which he totally is).
The 57-year-old Washington state native first had sex with a car at age 15, and says he has never been sexually attracted to people, female or male. And he feels no need to change. His current flame is a Volkswagen Beetle that's he's named Vanilla, and considering a typical woman's reaction to Smith's spreading himself around, she's very low maintenance (not counting trips to the mechanic or pricey imported auto parts).
Smith says his fetish took root when he was a teenager. "When I was 13 and the famous Corvette Stingray came about, that car was pure sex and just an incredible machine. I wanted it." He continued, "There have been certain cars that attracted me and I would wait until nighttime, creep up to them and just hug and kiss them."
Wow, it doesn't get much worse than that.
Despite his passion for his four-wheeled friends, Smith has occasionally strayed. His most intense sexual experience ever, he says, was with a helicopter. It totally chopped his nob off.
Holy shit, it did get much worse!
Read the whole article for more ridiculousness.
Man who's had sex with 1000 cars gives new meaning to auto-erotic [nydailynews]
Thanks Jaden, I'll never look at my Neon the same again
May 2 2008 Zombie-Apocalypse Survival Truck Is Out Moonlighting As A Storm Chasing Vehicle
Somebody took these pictures at a gas station in Kansas. They show what is allegedly a tornado chasing vehicle (they're hot on the tail of that one that got Dorothy). Now I've never watched Twister, mostly because tornadoes scare the shit out of me and I was born with a monster vajhyena (its bark is worse than its bite), but I doubt Helen Hunt was driving one of these. Was she? I didn't think so. So, that leaves only one question left to be answered -- what is this vehicle's true identity? Does the government know something we don't? Are the zombies coming? Because if they know the zombies are coming and they're not telling us, that is f***ed the f up. And I'll be damned if the zombies munch my brain. That's why I'm stealing my neighbor's truck tonight and starting construction of my own zombie assault vehicle. I'm mostly just gonna weld a bunch of sheet metal to the body, but I may opt for a flame paint job if it turns out good. Oh, and I'm going to make a bunch of custom bumper stickers with clever zombie-related slogans. Stuff like "Brain: Not the other gray meat you stupid asshole zombies", and "If you can read this you're unusually smart for a zombie but I'm still about to back the f*** over your head".
Several more pictures for your apocalyptic-viewing pleasure, after the jump.
Continue Reading " Zombie-Apocalypse Survival Truck Is Out Moonlighting As A Storm Chasing Vehicle "
Mar 12 2008 Mathematical Society Of Traffic Flow In Japan Replicates "Shockwave" Traffic Jams
The Mathematical Society of Traffic Flow in Japan used a test track to replicate traffic jams that seem to occur for no reason. These "shockwave" traffic jams travel backwards at about 20 km (~12 mph). That's why you don't always see the massive wreck you expected after sitting in traffic for so long. It's just the result of varying speeds, women drivers, and probably some asshole on a cellphone.
NOTE: Joking ladies. I have two or three female friends so you know I'm not sexist. I have nothing against women drivers. Just my wife, because she sucks at driving. She couldn't keep her car off the sidewalk if it meant a lifetime supply of Little Debbie snack cakes.
Traffic Flow Video [notcot]
Jan 28 2008 V-12 Engine Made Entirely Out Of Paper
This V-12 four-stroke engine was constructed entirely out of paper -- 1,978 pieces to be exact. Weighing in at a little over 3 pounds, it certainly ranks as one of the lightest V-12s around. It also ranks as the one most likely to cause a serious paper cut. Perhaps the most amazing part of the whole thing is that it works -- producing a 13.5RPM crankshaft speed via 2 AA batteries. Over two years in the making it truly is a work of art. Well, it was until I filled it with gas and produced a spark. Then it was truly a fireball.
Several more pictures and a video of the action after the jump.
