Jul 8 2009 Problem Solved!: Turning Urine Into Hydrogen

Finally, I can sleep at night: scientists have discovered a way to turn urine into hydrogen. And you said I was crazy for collecting it in milk jugs!

From a group led by chemist Gerardine Botte of Ohio University comes a report (just published in the Royal Society of Chemistry's journal Chemical Communications) that hydrogen has been produced from urine.

According to a July 3, 2009 story on PhysOrg.com, "Urine's major constituent is urea, which incorporates four hydrogen atoms per molecule -- importantly, less tightly bonded than the hydrogen atoms in water molecules."

"Botte uses electrolysis to break the molecule apart, developing an inexpensive new nickel-based electrode to selectively and efficiently oxidise the urea. To break the molecule down, a voltage of 0.37V needs to be applied across the cell -- much less than the 1.23V needed to split water.

So, you know what this means, right? Wait for it....wait for it....the P-bomb. Thanks folks, I'll be here all week. Make sure to tip your bartender and maybe steal a bottle for me when they're not looking. *tap tap* Haha, is this still on?

21st-century alchemy: Hydrogen from urine [bookofjoe]

Thanks to towhee, who pees in swimming pools.

Jun 4 2009 Honesty Fail: How Not To Sell A Used iPhone

This is exactly how you don't sell a used iPhone on craigslist. If the phone fell in a puddle of urine but didn't damage the phone YOU DON'T MENTION IT IN THE AD. Trust me, I learned the hard way.

Looking to sell a 1 year old Tokyoflash wristwatch. The watch is in perfect working condition. The only problem is I lost it in my girlfriend for 12 days, but I put soap on it and wrapped it in a napkin. No damage to the watch or screen.

I still have it. Any takers? You smell it you bought it.

Craigslist ad

Thanks to pat, who once sold snow to an Eskimo by threatening the poor bastard with a flamethrower.

May 21 2009 Astronauts Drink Urine, Love Every Drop

Well if those aren't the happy faces of three urine-guzzling fools, I don't know what are.

At the international space station, it was one small sip for man and a giant gulp of recycled urine for mankind.

Astronauts aboard the space station celebrated a space first on Wednesday by drinking water that had been recycled from their urine, sweat and water that condenses from exhaled air. They said "cheers," clicked drinking bags and toasted NASA workers on the ground who were sipping their own version of recycled drinking water.

"The taste is great," American astronaut Michael Barratt said. Then as Russian Gennady Padalka tried to catch little bubbles of the clear water floating in front of him, Barratt called the taste "worth chasing."

"The taste is great". "Worth chasing." Yeah, maybe worth chasing with a glass of battery acid. Just kidding, I'm sure urine is delicious. Like mine, but with less alcohol and cherry pits. *pew pew*

Cheers! Crew drinks up recycled urine in space [msnbc]

Thanks to Jon, who just ordered a case of the stuff because he loves outerspace.

Mar 28 2009 Wow, Surprisingly Doesn't Work: Paying A Speeding Ticket With Urine-Soaked Coins

Michael Harold Lynch received a $206 speeding ticket for doing 54 in a 35MPH work zone. Outraged (I was only 19 over!), he got $206 in small coins, put them in a bag, and pissed all over them. Then he sent the bag in as payment. Shockingly, it wasn't accepted.

Turns out Lynch didn't break any laws - it's not necessarily illegal to mail bodily fluids. The pee-and-pennies were sent back to Lynch - COD, in fact - with a note that said they couldn't be taken because "the pile of coins emitted a strong, pungent odor of stale urine." Lynch responded by sending a check made out to another agency, which was returned, then he sent a check for the wrong amount. Now he's on the hook for $271 because his payment is late.

Wow, Michael. You sure showed them, didn't you? Now you only owe $65 more than before, not including the shipping and COD payments you already made. You are such the prankster! And also, under arrest. Up against the wall, buddy -- now spread those legs. *violently tasers Michael in the taint* Haha -- this is a rented uniform! NOW WHO'S THE PRANK KING?!?!

Streaming Mad: $206 in urine-soaked coins is not acceptable payment for a speeding ticket in Washington [autoblog]

Thanks to The Jerk, who was peeing in the slot your money comes out of on an ATM when the little door slammed closed on his pecker and he had to call the police. They laughed at him and then posted the security cam footage on Youtube. I saw it, it was funny.

Mar 12 2009 See It In Action!: The UroClub Commercial

We posted on the awesomeness that is the UroClub last year. And now, there's a commercial that explains just how easy and convenient it is to use (read: screw cap off, piss in it, screw cap on). Best quote: "The UroClub comes with a towel and appears that you're just checking out your club." Also, I loved how the last five seconds of the commercial featured three guys standing side by side pissing on a tree and pretending they're not trying to sneak a peak at each others' johnsons. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it common courtesy to leave at least one tree between you and another pisser? Just sayin'.

Gold Club Fail [failblog]

Thanks to iron angel for hitting me with the follow up. Now hit me with those digits, girl! That is, if you are a girl. Otherwise, forget that number I gave you.

Feb 20 2009 Coca-Cowla, Now With More Bovine Urine

Cow urine soda, folks, it quenches your thirst and is packed with vitamins like Yellow #5. Mmmm, delicious AND nutritious.

The Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS), a Hindu nationalist conservative party, plans to sell 'Gau Jal', or 'Cow Water', as a rival to soft drink giants Pepsi and Coca Cola...the drink will not contain any additives and that inclusion of medicinal and ayurvedic herbs ensures it doesn't smell bad.

The cow is sacred to Hindus and the RSS has already promoted its urine as a cure for everything from liver disease to cancer.

Well sign me up for a case. And also, how do they collect all this cow urine. Is it anything like collecting semen from a bull? If so, count me in!

Hindu group makes cola from cow urine [msn]

Thanks to Ramy and Cosmic Rocket Man, who once drank Chupacabra urine and developed x-ray vision. Sweet!

Dec 31 2008 Google Streets: Porsches & People Pissing

This is a Google Maps Street View of what is allegedly a Porsche prototype being tested in Colorado. Hit the jump for another picture of several different cars, all being covered as the Google Street View van rolls by soliciting children with the promise of free Chupa Chups. And, as a special added bonus, there's a Street View image of some woman pissing behind a car in Madrid, Spain. Because, just like the country song, "sangria makes you piss behind subcompacts".

Hit it.

Continue Reading " Google Streets: Porsches & People Pissing "

Sep 30 2008 Woman Celebrates Halloween Early

A Cincinnati woman went out and did it up right by celebrating Halloween early this year.

Police say 32 year old Michelle Allen was chasing children in the 3100 block of Wilbraham, while wearing the cow costume early Monday evening. Allen also reported urinated on a neighbor's front porch. An officer told Allen to go home and stay there for the remainder of the evening.

Police were later called to North Verity Avenue, where Allen was allegedly blocking traffic. The arresting officer says Allen smelled of alcohol, slurred her speech, and was belligerent. She also alleged cussed at the officer.

Sounds like a pretty typical Halloween if you ask me.

Woman Wearing Cow Suit Arrested [local12]

Thanks to Eric, who agrees the only way to really pee on a neighbor's porch is in a bear suit.

Jun 18 2008 Gnar Wars: A Star Wars Snowboarding Video

Gnar Wars is a Star Wars themed snowboarding video. It features lightsaber battles, Boba Fett getting his dome piece chopped off, and even some wily Jawa bastards. It's worth a view. But not the repeated viewing that my Star Wars themed sports video deserves. It's called Par Wars , and it's golf themed! It mostly consists of a buddy and I waving around 7-iron urinesabers and trying to douse each other with the contents. We're a class act. The must see finale even features the destruction of the Death Bar (the name we gave the clubhouse bar after they refused to serve us anymore). We flew an X-Wing Fighter (golf cart) straight through that bitch and shot proton torpedoes (golf balls) at the main reactor (bartender). KA-BOOM!

Star Wars Snowboarding [/film]

Thanks Shawn, now if you'll excuse me I'm off to shred some gnarly pow-pow (that's code for do drugs).

Jun 9 2008 Putter Pisser: Relieve Yourself Discreetly

I always thought when you were out on the links and had to pee you yelled 'Fore!' and pissed in a bunker or on a tree. Well apparently that's not kosher and you need a UroClub (Putter Pisser sounds better) urine collection device. I'm not so sure what's so discreet about pissing down the shaft of a fake golf club, but whatever.

Just place an inconspicuous towel over your junk, unscrew the cap of the club disguised to look like a 7-iron, and whiz away--up to half a liter. When you're done, stick the leak-proof club back in your bag and take your next shot.

The questionable device costs $50 and doesn't hold enough if you've been following the rules of golf and drinking the whole game. And that's why I'll be sticking to the sand traps. They typically provide good cover, and you can even drop some kids off at the beach if you have to. But remember: if you do, stay classy and cover them up like a cat does.

UroClub Lets Golfers Go Pee-Pee in Public [gizmodo]

Thanks Chris, and remind me to never shake your hand

May 20 2008 I've Seen It All Now: The Whiz Freedom

The Whiz Freedom is a horribly named "urine director" for women. First of all, I didn't know there was even a market for "urine directors", but secondly, now that I do, I think they should change the name of this product from Whiz Freedom to Fake Penis. Because I think that's what it is.

The Whiz Freedom preserves dignity and liberty whatever the circumstances. It gives women the choice to wee wherever and whenever they choose.

Aside from allowing women to wee in a standing position, sitting down or lying down, the Whiz Freedom can be used in confined spaces such as in a car, a kayak, a small airplane or glider (you're up there for many hours), in a tent, a sleeping back, while chained to the stove, or while caving.

So ladies, if you're looking for the perfect $30 urine-soaked accessory to add to your purse, look no further. The Whiz Freedom -- Enabling women to pee like men since 2007.

A commercial for the thing after the jump. I don't want to ruin it for you, but it's a scene that I'm all too familiar with.

Continue Reading " I've Seen It All Now: The Whiz Freedom "

Mar 5 2008 Singing and Moving Clown Urinal Makes Me Want To Just Pee On The Wall Instead

So I wake up this morning and what do I find in my inbox? A link to a singing clown urinal in Osaka, Japan. Basically you walk up to the sucker and he starts singing and moving up and down the wall while you try to pee in his mouth. WTF!? What are we teaching the youth these days? This does not lessen my fear of clowns one bit. It was bad enough before I knew the sick bastards liked drinking urine. He won't be singing for long though. Not after somebody decides to sit there and hit him with a #2.

Crazy Singing Clown Urinal Makes Us Go HAHAHAARRGHHSTOPDOINGTHAT! [gizmodo]

Thanks to Shawn and Meredith, who both hates clowns as much as Anticlown Media does, for the tips

Feb 22 2008 Self-Healing Rubber Sticks Back Together

Ludwik Leibler is a chemistry professor in Paris that has created an artificial rubber substance that can stick back together with the same strength it had prior to being cut. The unnamed material is made in an earth-friendly manner from vegetable oil and urea (the stuff in urine that makes it delicious).

Break a rubber and the chemical welds - known as covalent bonds - are also broken. The trick was to replace the covalent bonds in rubber with weaker connections known as hydrogen bonds. These are like hands on neighboring molecules that can clasp together, but let go when broken. Dr Leibler quickly realized that this meant not only that the new rubber could be recycled and remolded many times over, but that if separated by a cut or break, the chemical hands at the fresh surfaces would still be waving about ready to bind again.

Now let me tell you, covalent bonds aren't the only things severed when rubbers break. No sir. Your whole life can get split apart. You know what I'm talking about don't you? I'm talking about accidentally having kids. And don't believe that baloney "the stork brings them to your house" nonsense either, it isn't true. That's just a lie your parents told you so they wouldn't have to say the word vagina.

Self-healing rubber bounces back [bbcnews]

Thanks to Frankie, who is both wild and crazy, for the tip