May 19 2009 Closer To The Action: Kneeling Pee Bench
The Tenshi no Hizamakura (Angels Knee Pillow) is a little bench designed to get men lower to the action and help prevent urine misplacement. No word if it actually comes with the flying pee genie in the picture, but that would pretty awesome if it did (and also a bargain at $60).
...according to the manufacturer, House Doctor, urinating into the toilet from a certain height results in hundreds of droplets of spray & splash being ejected from the bowl - yes, they actually COUNTED the droplets - and in Japanese households it's the wife who gets to perform the toilet cleaning services.
Ha, maybe America and Japan aren't so different after all. Get it? Because the women do the cleaning here too! Isn't that right, honey? Honey? HONEY?! Shit. Note to self: rerun singles ad. Bigger penis this time.
Hit the jump for a couple more shots of the questionableness that I'll never need because I always sit down.
Continue Reading " Closer To The Action: Kneeling Pee Bench "
Mar 12 2009 See It In Action!: The UroClub Commercial
We posted on the awesomeness that is the UroClub last year. And now, there's a commercial that explains just how easy and convenient it is to use (read: screw cap off, piss in it, screw cap on). Best quote: "The UroClub comes with a towel and appears that you're just checking out your club." Also, I loved how the last five seconds of the commercial featured three guys standing side by side pissing on a tree and pretending they're not trying to sneak a peak at each others' johnsons. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it common courtesy to leave at least one tree between you and another pisser? Just sayin'.
Gold Club Fail [failblog]
Thanks to iron angel for hitting me with the follow up. Now hit me with those digits, girl! That is, if you are a girl. Otherwise, forget that number I gave you.
Feb 20 2009 Coca-Cowla, Now With More Bovine Urine
Cow urine soda, folks, it quenches your thirst and is packed with vitamins like Yellow #5. Mmmm, delicious AND nutritious.
The Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS), a Hindu nationalist conservative party, plans to sell 'Gau Jal', or 'Cow Water', as a rival to soft drink giants Pepsi and Coca Cola...the drink will not contain any additives and that inclusion of medicinal and ayurvedic herbs ensures it doesn't smell bad.
The cow is sacred to Hindus and the RSS has already promoted its urine as a cure for everything from liver disease to cancer.
Well sign me up for a case. And also, how do they collect all this cow urine. Is it anything like collecting semen from a bull? If so, count me in!
Hindu group makes cola from cow urine [msn]
Thanks to Ramy and Cosmic Rocket Man, who once drank Chupacabra urine and developed x-ray vision. Sweet!
Feb 4 2009 Scientists Invent Longer-Term Sleeping Pill
I don't get it, I put one in my nightcap before bed and I barely slept a wink. Then, just a few minutes ago, I blew a hole in the urinal during a routine bathroom break. WTF?!
sleep forever pill [szymon]
Thanks to Romeo, who one slept 24-hours straight. God, I want to do that.
Jan 29 2009 No, Nuh-Uh, No Way: The Robo-Urinal
Allegedly this robo-urinal holds your junk while you pee. For once in my life I'm really praying it's a Photoshop job or some really sick art project. You know the rule about having at least a urinal of separation between you and another dude in the bathroom? Well there are not enough urinals in the world to safely separate you from this thing. I wouldn't even feel safe pissing in the women's room sink.
Oh Hell No [tinypic]
Thanks to NinjaMuffin, who can melt enemies like butter on his top.
Dec 31 2008 Google Streets: Porsches & People Pissing
This is a Google Maps Street View of what is allegedly a Porsche prototype being tested in Colorado. Hit the jump for another picture of several different cars, all being covered as the Google Street View van rolls by soliciting children with the promise of free Chupa Chups. And, as a special added bonus, there's a Street View image of some woman pissing behind a car in Madrid, Spain. Because, just like the country song, "sangria makes you piss behind subcompacts".
Hit it.
Continue Reading " Google Streets: Porsches & People Pissing "
Oct 27 2008 What A Wonderful Super Mario World
Geekologie songwriter in residence brentalfloss is back at it, this time with a ditty called "Super Mario World", sung in the style of "What a Wonderful World". And, as a longtime Louis Armstrong fan and guy who drank his weight in gin & tonic (I hate gin) in New Orleans last week: I lost a contact in an ice-filled urinal and had to beat up a stripper. True story. Thanks to brentalfloss, the man behind the microphone.
Youtube
Jun 9 2008 Putter Pisser: Relieve Yourself Discreetly
I always thought when you were out on the links and had to pee you yelled 'Fore!' and pissed in a bunker or on a tree. Well apparently that's not kosher and you need a UroClub (Putter Pisser sounds better) urine collection device. I'm not so sure what's so discreet about pissing down the shaft of a fake golf club, but whatever.
Just place an inconspicuous towel over your junk, unscrew the cap of the club disguised to look like a 7-iron, and whiz away--up to half a liter. When you're done, stick the leak-proof club back in your bag and take your next shot.
The questionable device costs $50 and doesn't hold enough if you've been following the rules of golf and drinking the whole game. And that's why I'll be sticking to the sand traps. They typically provide good cover, and you can even drop some kids off at the beach if you have to. But remember: if you do, stay classy and cover them up like a cat does.
UroClub Lets Golfers Go Pee-Pee in Public [gizmodo]
Thanks Chris, and remind me to never shake your hand
May 30 2008 Peeandgo, A Questionable Urinal For Women
The Peenandgo is a urinal for women. Because flowers and singing, moving clowns just don't cut it for chicks. The unit was designed by Chen-Karlsson and has a ball in it to prevent splashing or something. I thought it was pretty questionable, but I guess they're catching on because I heard they installed one in the women's room here at the office. I haven't seen it though. Oh, hold on, here comes The Superficial Writer.
Hey buddy, yeah I saw the Kim Kardashian post, way to put her in her place. I agree, totally butt pads. Seriously though, I can't believe she can even use a computer. Say, what you got there? A golden ball huh? You didn't happen to find that in the floor of the women's room did you? Nevermind what you were doing in there, just get it off my freaking desk. No, I don't want to buy from you. Or hold it. Dude I'm trying to post here, take the peeball back to your own cube.
One more picture after the jump in case you were wondering how the thing is used.
Continue Reading " Peeandgo, A Questionable Urinal For Women "
May 20 2008 I've Seen It All Now: The Whiz Freedom
The Whiz Freedom is a horribly named "urine director" for women. First of all, I didn't know there was even a market for "urine directors", but secondly, now that I do, I think they should change the name of this product from Whiz Freedom to Fake Penis. Because I think that's what it is.
The Whiz Freedom preserves dignity and liberty whatever the circumstances. It gives women the choice to wee wherever and whenever they choose.Aside from allowing women to wee in a standing position, sitting down or lying down, the Whiz Freedom can be used in confined spaces such as in a car, a kayak, a small airplane or glider (you're up there for many hours), in a tent, a sleeping back, while chained to the stove, or while caving.
So ladies, if you're looking for the perfect $30 urine-soaked accessory to add to your purse, look no further. The Whiz Freedom -- Enabling women to pee like men since 2007.
A commercial for the thing after the jump. I don't want to ruin it for you, but it's a scene that I'm all too familiar with.
Mar 5 2008 Singing and Moving Clown Urinal Makes Me Want To Just Pee On The Wall Instead
So I wake up this morning and what do I find in my inbox? A link to a singing clown urinal in Osaka, Japan. Basically you walk up to the sucker and he starts singing and moving up and down the wall while you try to pee in his mouth. WTF!? What are we teaching the youth these days? This does not lessen my fear of clowns one bit. It was bad enough before I knew the sick bastards liked drinking urine. He won't be singing for long though. Not after somebody decides to sit there and hit him with a #2.
Crazy Singing Clown Urinal Makes Us Go HAHAHAARRGHHSTOPDOINGTHAT! [gizmodo]
Thanks to Shawn and Meredith, who both hates clowns as much as Anticlown Media does, for the tips
Dec 3 2007 U.S. Patent 6,681,419: Urinal Headrest
U.S. Patent 6,681,419 describes a headrest to be installed above urinals so when you're pass-out drunk you can still piss without falling over. It's ridiculous. And judging from the picture it's just the thing for people with only one arm and no legs beneath their knees. Now if you can't even stand up straight long enough to take a piss I question why you're still at the bar. I guarantee you're only hitting on ugly women (and possibly dudes). It's best to just leave. That said, I want these installed at my local watering hole. Except above the deep-fryer, because that's where I tend to go when I'm plastered.
Great Invention Idea? Toilet Headrest Steadies You in Your Hour of Need [inventorspot]
thanks to Ben Hur, who can pee through walls, for the tip
Oct 24 2007 Flower Urinals: Pee On Something Beautiful
Flower Urinals, from Clark Sorenson, are flower shaped urinals. They sell for anywhere between $6,500 and $9,500, making them ridiculously expensive for a bunch of urine receptacles. Nice try Clark Sorenson, but I developed these things years ago. I had a line of Venus Penis Trap urinals that bit your pollinator off when you were done peeing. I only sold a single unit. Which kind of makes me the Van Gogh of urinal design.
Flower shaped urinals - Nature enters your bathroom for a price [bornrich]
