Sep 15 2009 Snake With Foot Found, Killed In China

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I am seriously reconsidering my decision to procreate in China. What with all the winged cats and footed snakes, I don't want my children to grow up with three legs like their father, you know? My beneficial defects aside, I must admit: as an amateur herpetologist, I'm a little skeptical about a footed snake. It seems almost like it swallowed a lizard and then that bastard was all like, "oh hell naw!" and kicked through the snake's bitchass stomach.

Dean Qiongxiu, 66, said she discovered the reptile clinging to the wall of her bedroom with its talons in the middle of the night.


"I woke up and heard a strange scratching sound. I turned on the light and saw this monster working its way along the wall using his claw," said Mrs Duan of Suining, southwest China.

Mrs Duan said she was so scared she grabbed a shoe and beat the snake to death before preserving its body in a bottle of alcohol.

I call shenanigans. Everybody knows snakes lost their right to feet after that one in Eden kept trying to touch Eve's boobs. Yes, I've read the Bible. He ended up stealing her nipples. And that, my flock, is where dried apricots come from. Amen.

Snake with foot found in China [telegraph]

Thanks to carmen, Matty and Chuck Nunchuck, who all have snaked feet. And this little piggy went to GAAAAAAAHH!!

Nov 12 2008 Sexy Animal Crackers Fetch $7.25 On eBay

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A bull and donkey were caught mid-coitus in a bowl of animal crackers by some guy's wife. And, like a Virgin Mary pork rind, it ended up on eBay.

As you can see from the pictures, What we have here is a bull making sweet, sweet love to a donkey. (too bad it isn't an elephant---it would make a great political piece!) My wife pulled this out of a bowl of animal crackers a few weeks ago. I have been storing it in an air-tight bag since! The cracker was baked like this!!! No foul play!

No foul play my ass! That poor donkey. I think they're stuck together. Seriously though, who knew crackers could be so sexy? Just imagine cookies! *rolling out dough* Anybody have dinosaur cookie cutters?

eBay Auction

Thanks to RyanThePerson, not to be confused with RyanTheAnimalCracker.