Oct 30 2009 It's About Time: Glow In The Dark Lingerie
Listen ladies -- if you have to wear glow in the dark lingerie in order for your lover to find all your parts, I've got news for you: you may be dating a middle-schooler. NOT COOL.
LuminoGlow is an Australian company that makes unmentionables that look normal with the lights on, but glow in the dark when they're turned off. Pretty neat, but don't glow in the dark items need to be left in the light for a while before they glow? Are you supposed to wear these around the house all day first just to charge them up before gametime at night? And will they glow through your clothes if you wear a thin shirt or dress?
Unmentionables, I love that term. Because they're actually totaaaaally mentionable. PANTIES PANTIES BRA THONG BOOBIE BELT. See? No big deal. Also, call me old fashioned but I prefer non-glowing genitals. Just sayin'.
Because I love you, hit the jump for four more full-body shots of the undies in action.
Continue Reading " It's About Time: Glow In The Dark Lingerie "
Oct 5 2009 For The Apocalypse: Bra Turns To Gas Masks
Doctor Elena Bodner won this year's Ig Noble Prize for Public Health with a bra designed to turn into two functional gas masks should the need arise (and why wouldn't it?).
The aim of the awards is to honour achievements that "first make people laugh and then make them think".
The Ig Nobel Prizes were presented to the winners by genuine Nobel laureates.Past winners also returned to take part in the celebrations. They included Kees Moeliker, the discoverer of homosexual necrophilia in the mallard duck, and Dr Francis Fesmire, who devised the digital rectal massage as cure for intractable hiccups.
Wow, what an elite group. You've got to admit though, a gas mask bra is pretty clever. Granted, not as clever as the gas mask underwear I just invented, but you act like you've never seen a guy with worn panties on his face before. THIS IS NORMAL IN JAPAN!
Hit the jump for the worthwhile complete list of winners.
Continue Reading " For The Apocalypse: Bra Turns To Gas Masks "
Jul 24 2009 Handerpants: Underpants For Your Hands
Handerpants are a real product and apparently people are willing to pay $12 for them. Amazing -- even in a recession some people can't get their fill of novelty underwear. Or booze. I'm gonna stick with booze. I CAN HAZ GLUG?
Are you really naked under those gloves? For Pete's sake, put on some Handerpants! These 95% cotton, 5% spandex, fingerless gloves have the look and feel of men's briefs. Slip them on underneath your gloves for extra warmth and protection from chafing! Wear them on their own as a vaguely inappropriate fashion statement! Hundreds of uses! Fits most adult hands.
Yeah, well what if I have child-sized hands? Should I stuff a sock in these too? NOT THAT I'VE EVER DONE THAT (I use an old sweatshirt).
Hit the jump for a fairly painful infomercial for the things.
Jul 9 2009 Help Female Geekologie Reader Find Undies
So I got a strange request from a female reader and, being the sucker lover of women's underwear gentleman that I am, I figured you guys might be able to help. But please note: you will receive no credit for your contribution, because I will tell her I did it all.
----- Original Message -----From: A Sexy Reader
To: The Geekologie Writer
Sent: Thursday, July 09, 2009 3:22 AM
Subject: NEED HELP!!!If there's anyone who can help me here, i know you can!!! I've been searching on the web for a while but am starting to get SUPER BUMMED! I even posted a YAHOO ANSWERS question (LINK) but no luck! Long story short, I want to expand my undie collection. I love my care bears and all... but it's time to add to it... Problem is I don't know where to find adult, female underwear with sweet graphics/logos like TMNT, MEGA MAN, TETRIS, G.I. JOE, POWER RANGERS (only the originals), STREET FIGHTER, X-MEN, ZELDA, etc.
Surely you've HAD to have come across some websites that can answer my problem!? Please let me know! Also, you are so totally handsome I will send you pictures if you help me out!
What -- no I didn't add that last part myself! I added that last part myself. :(
Jun 17 2009 Looking For Trouble: Underwear Purses
These Underwear Purses from Parcel are purses that look like kid's underwear. They're not made from real underwear though because then they'd be all pee-stained and skidmark-y. They cost about $11. But I've got to warn you: the last time I was caught out in public toting around a bunch of kid's underwear, I have never touched children's underwear.
May 26 2009 Highly Questionable: Retro Star Trek Drawls
It's not dreaming about Spock staring at you in your skivvies with a quizzical smirk that bothers me, it's the fact that somebody might actually pay $75 for 34-year old USED underwear. What is this, Japan? Kidding -- you know I love you Japan!
Thanks darkfall13, and to answer your question: frightening.
May 6 2009 Say Bye To Dromedary Digit!: The Cuchini
The Cuchini is a real product made by the two women in the picture (Kelly and Christy, NOT the camel-woman) and helps prevents undesired camel toe.
The Cuchini is a comfortable, light-weight material that adheres to any undergarment (panties, bikini, sports attire, etc). It smoothes the ridges of a woman's mons pubis area providing a smooth and camouflaged appearance. This eliminates what is commonly known as "Camel Toe."
The Cuchini sells in a pack of 2 for $15, but if you're cheap, you could probably just use a shoe horn. Personally, I don't see what's wrong with a little camel toe. Hell, or even some moose knuckle. But when you start talking mammoth knee, well....I like that too!
Thanks to Laylia and Elroy, who almost got spit on by a camel at the petting zoo. And to Where The Hell Is My Camera Charger?, whose parents must really hate him.
May 6 2009 My God That's Classy: The Redneck Tanktop
This picture, taken at what I assume was a NASCAR race, shows a redneck flaunting the latest in must-have summerwear, a, um, pair of underwear cut out to wear as a tank top. Unfortunately, there's no shot of what it looks like from the front, so we'll just have to use our imaginations. I'm imagining stained.
Ladies And Gentlemen - The Red Neck Tank Top [themovieblog]
Thanks to Dimi, who once wore a tube sock as a headband.
Apr 29 2009 Highly Questionable: No Wash Boxers
No Wash boxers were designed by 29-year old medical student Rob Libfeld who claims he came up with the idea when he noticed how embarrassed patients in the hospital were of their soiled, all white underwear. As you can see, the $13 drawls are all yellow in the front and brown in the back, so you can piss and shit to your incontinent heart's content with little to no visible embarrassment. However, there will still be a smell, so be sure to look around quizzically to expel any blame.
No wash underwear hides stains, not odours [newslite]
Thanks James, and remember: he who protested it, foam-crested it.
Apr 24 2009 Bra Deflects Bullet, Saves Woman's Life
A Detroit woman's life was saved when a shot fired at her was deflected by the underwire in her bra, leaving her with only minor injuries.
The woman, who lives on the west side of Detroit, had seen the youths breaking into the house next door while her neighbour was away. Police believe one of the gang saw her looking out of the window and fired at her.
The suspects then drove away after the shooting.Local police Sgt Eren Stephens Bell told the Detroit News: "We need to get some bulletproof vests made from that. It is some strong wire."
Yeah you do, Sergeant. You need bulletproof vests made from the underwire in a 57-year old's bra. Because I'm sure the lingerie company doesn't just buy used coat hangers from the nearest dry cleaner. But they do. That's exactly what they do.
Bullet bounces off US woman's bra [bbcnews]
Thanks to Flash Dave, Chuck Nunchuck, and JMR, who only recommend women wear bras when in fear of being shot.
Apr 17 2009 Surprise!: Japanese Video Game Harnesses Head Tracking Technology For Perversion
Japanese erotic game maker Teatime's latest perversion comes in the form of Tech48, a platform which allows players to look at the in-game characters using head-tracking technology via webcam. What does this mean to the lay-pervert? More realistic upskirt action. Wow, using the latest in technology for deviancy, I'm shocked. Just kidding, it's the American way. Did I say American? I mean Japanese. My God those people are geniuses.
Hit the jump for a video of the perversion in action (upskirt demo starts at 2:30).
Apr 9 2009 Two Chicks In A Bar Having A Lightsaber Fight
NOTE: VIDEO IS SLIGHTLY NSFW DUE TO UNDERWEAR.
This is a fake commercial for men's body spray that features two chicks having a lightsaber battle over some tainty dude that smells good. SPOILER: they cut each other's clothes off, making it the best commercial for a fake product EVER. I just ordered like a million cases. Or, I dunno, left my credit card number as a Youtube comment.
Thanks to Dustin, Dallas and CJ, who once saw two chicks have a lightsaber duel while Jello wresting. I know, I should write erotic fiction.
Mar 21 2009 Astronaut To Test New Non-Stink Underwear
That's right, Japanese astronaut Koichi Wakata is slated to test a new kind of underwear during his current visit to the space station. The "state-of-the-art" undies were designed "to reduce the smells in normal clothing, absorb sweat and provide insulation."
The underwear, developed by Japanese researchers, are made of antibacterial polymers and are fire-resistant.
Astronauts normally change their clothes every three days.
Koichi will attempt to wear the underwear for a full seven days. Which, if successful, will only be 9 days short of my record. And, if you think I'm kidding, ask my dry cleaners. Well, my ex dry cleaners. I am so stinky!
Astronaut tests non-smelly super pants in space [metro]
Thanks to Thumperchica, who doesn't care because she doesn't wear underwear. I'm with you, girl -- high five! No? Helicopter!
Mar 19 2009 She Loves Me!: Gamer Girl Loves Geekologie
Well, maybe not me, but she does love Geekologie. Remember yesterday's gamer girl post? Well, she commented on it, you can read her comment HERE (#148). And also, she sent me an email, which read:
Hi, I saw the thread with me in it and find it hilarious. I love your site.
I would like you to post this pic, and you can quote me as saying "YAY! II finally graduated 4Chan!"
Geekologie loves you too, Reenaye. And congratulations on graduating 4chan! Moving on to Geekologie is a big step in every internet celebrity's life. Best wishes. And also: if you happened to send a couple pictures of yourself cosplaying as Zelda while riding on the back of an inflatable dinosaur with the Master Sword between your teeth, you know, that would be totally cool with me.
Mar 18 2009 Hey, Gamer Chicks Need Love Too (Call Me)
Is that Megatron? He looks....different. Jowly. Really jowly. Transform and rolls out!
Thanks to gizmoduck, who is a chick but dresses like Link. Which, hey, is a-okay in my book (send pictures).
Feb 20 2009 Toasty: Bra Dryer Heats Your Hooter Holsters
The BraDryer concept is a dryer for your lacy boulder holders. The ones you don't want going in the regular dryer. As you can see, it looks like a pair of knockers, which led to this burn on my hand. Obviously, it was worth it. *TSSSSSSS* I copped another one!
Bra Dryer is the Most Useful Device Shaped Like a Pair of Boobs Ever [gizmodo]
Thanks to Crystal, who gets to see real boobs all the time because shes has some. Unfortunately, so do I. :(
Feb 18 2009 Zelda Tattoo Chick Please Contact Me
I don't have any more information except boner. And I like those Oreos. Call me.
Thanks to mikeydubz, who can't have her because she's mine. MINE.
Jan 30 2009 Highly Questionable: The Bacon Brassiere
I don't get it: I love bacon, and I love boobs, but something about this image made me want to hide under the bed and weep into my Pokemon blanket.
Hit the jump for the uncensored version, which may or may not be suitable for work depending on your employer's policy on delicious bras.
Continue Reading " Highly Questionable: The Bacon Brassiere "
Jan 26 2009 UPDATE: Gallery Of Sexy Stormtroopers
GALLERY SLIIIGHTLY NSFW FOR A FEW WOMEN IN CONSERVATIVE LINGERIE.
I have never been more confused by a picture in my entire life. I mean, WTF is going on there? I dunno, but it does remind me of the time I caught a creep trying to sniff my bicycle seat. So you know what I did? I rang my little bell and kept riding. BRRRING BRRRING!
Hit the jump for a bunch more "sexy" stormtroopers, a couple of which made my penis cry.
UPDATE: Couple more pictures added.
Nov 25 2008 Nanotech Material Never Gets Wet, EVER
Scientists at the University of Zurich have developed a material that never gets wet. Even if you play romantic music and kiss it tenderly.
The fabric is constructed of polyester fibers that are covered in a layer of 40-nanometer-wide silicone nanofilaments. These nanofilaments are spiky and cause water to sit in a sphere above the fabric, a permanent pocket of air protected safely below.
The material even reduces drag in water by 20%! I have no idea what sort of implications that has, but I think it's something to do with waterproof sheets. Because I used to date a girl that would drink Redbull and vodka all night and then, WITHOUT FAIL, piss the bed. God she sucked. So if you want to make fun of her or call her a hosebag, feel free. Her name and address are:
UPDATE: Ha, silly lawyers.
Nanotech Material Never Gets Wet, Even When Wet [gizmodo]
Thanks to Richthegringo, who keeps the ladies like a tropical rainforest. You know, with all sorts of crazy animals and shit.
