Sep 24 2009 Remove The Knuckles And The Fingers Will Die: Hardcore Zombie Tattoo
Wait, so does that mean he IS a zombie? Beause it doesn't say '#1 zombie slaya', it just says 'zombie'. Who knows, maybe he didn't have enough fingers for all that. Or brains. Get it? Zombie joke!
Thanks to Emma, who once brained a zombie with a frying pan and didn't even lose the eggs she was cooking. Over-easy, Emma.
Sep 17 2009 Zombie Shooting Targets Now Available
Tired of shooting at the same boring silhouettes when you're getting your gun on? Well why not prepare for the imminent zombie apocalypse and get your pew on at the same time with these zombie-themed shooting targets?
Full color Zombie Poster Targets. Designed for fun at the range or for your next league's Zombie Shoot. Features shaded scoring lines in both head & brain that cannot be seen at shooting distances.
Prices start at $1.50 a pop and decrease with quantity ordered. I just bought 1,000 so I could get them for $0.69 AND I DON'T EVEN OWN A GUN! Now lasers, lasers are a different story. You will never take them from me! I'm looking at you, future Amendment XXXII. Cold dead hands, just sayin'. *pew pew!*
Thanks to Patrick, who once beat a paper zombie target to death with a shovel. You know, for principle.
Aug 18 2009 What Could Go Wrong?: Zombie Themed Bar
Donny Dirk's Zombie Den is a zombie themed bar in Minneapolis, Minnesota. I don't know how I feel about it.
The stunning new interior comes straight out of a 1950s Las Vegas lounge (the classic part). The zombie stuff (i.e. the kitsch) is hilarious, and more nuanced than you'd expect from a bar named Donny Dirk's Zombie Den. In the corner, a small chainsaw sits inside a glass case that reads "In case of zombie attack, break glass." The bartenders all dress like Simon Pegg in "Shaun of the Dead" -- white button-up, red tie and blood stains. The friendly female servers wear long black gowns. Again: This is a classy zombie joint.
First of all, classy and zombie should never appear in the same sentence unless we're talking about an undead Mr. Peanut or Monopoly. And secondly, a zombie bar, not unlike a robot bar, is a bad idea. There's a reason you're not allowed to bring weapons into drinking establishments, you know. A stupid reason. pew pew!
Zombie resurrection [startribune]
Thanks to deadbodyman, whose dinosaur bar I always rent for my private parties.
Aug 17 2009 Canadians Create Mathematical Model For Successfully Surviving Zombie Apocalypse
Since there's no hockey on some Canadian mathematicians have shifted their efforts to creating a mathematical model for surviving the zombie uprising. And you said nothing good ever came out of Canada! That guy, right there -- he's the one that said it. GET HIM, CANUCKS!
Anyway, the model focuses on modern zombies, which are "very different from the voodoo and the folklore zombies." It takes into account the possibility of quarantine (could lead to eradication, but unlikely to happen) and treatment (some humans survive, but they still must coexist with zombies), but shows that there is only one strategy likely to succeed: "impulsive eradication."
"Only sufficiently frequent attacks, with increasing force, will result in eradication, assuming the available resources can be mustered in time," they concluded.
Pfft, I came up with a better model than that. It goes like this: me + shovel = zombie - head. Zombie - head = that zombieskin rug I've always wanted in front of the fire place! Now, who wants to make out on top of it?!? I'm not sick, you're sick.
Mathematical Model for Surviving a Zombie Attack [wired]
Thanks to Dahbie, who will survive the apocalypse no matter what because of jet propulsion (I'm coming with you).
Jun 19 2009 Augmented Reality Zombie Hunting Game
This is a video of an augmented reality game designed by the Georgia Tech Augmented Environments Lab and the Savannah College of Art and Design - Atlanta. It's called 'ARhrrrr', which, despite sounding piratey, is actually a zombie game. It's pretty cool too. You play the game with a video phone and a pack of Skittles. I shit you not, Skittles. Taste THIS rainbow, undead whores! BOOSH BOOSH!
Thanks to Ryan, Yopoleo and Anna, who will definitely be on my zombie hunting squad should the need arise....from the dead. ZING!
May 27 2009 It's About Time: A Quality Zombie Jello Mold
Tired of trying to make zombie Jello molds out of aluminum foil? Well crinkle no more my friends, ThinkGeek is finally selling a quality zombie mold! It costs $15 and isn't dishwasher safe, but don't let that stop you from putting it in there anyway! You just tell that Maytag piece of shit the Geekologie Writer told you to! I'll tell you what though -- the results look delicious, don't they? I know what I'm getting my son for his birthday -- a new mommy!
Hit the jump for one more shot which, despite adjusting the brightness and contrast, I couldn't make any more cleavage-y. Buy hey, I tried. Remember: I'm here for you.
Continue Reading " It's About Time: A Quality Zombie Jello Mold "
May 13 2009 SICK!: Fly Turns Ants Into Zombie Nurseries
The phorid fly turns fire ants into zombies by laying eggs inside them. When the larvae hatch, they eat their way to the ant's brain, which they also eat, leaving the fiery bastards to wander around like zombies before dying. Sick.
"At some point, the ant gets up and starts wandering," said Rob Plowes, a research associate at UT.
The maggot eventually migrates into the ant's head, but Plowes said he "wouldn't use the word 'control' to describe what is happening. There is no brain left in the ant, and the ant just starts wandering aimlessly. This wandering stage goes on for about two weeks."About a month after the egg is laid, the ant's head falls off and the fly emerges ready to attack any foraging ants away from the mound and lay eggs.
ZOMG -- it's head falls off. That reminds me of the time I was getting it on with a velociraptor when my parents came home early so I tried stuffing him in the closet but accidentally slammed the door closed on his neck and his head fell off. I buried it in the backyard, but I kept the body. What? It's okay if it's a dinosaur!
Hit the jump for a video of the flies in action (first video) as well as another of what jewel wasps do to cockroaches (same concept of zombification, but with a completely different method (read: injecting venom straight into the brain)).
Continue Reading " SICK!: Fly Turns Ants Into Zombie Nurseries "
May 4 2009 Uh-Oh: A New 'Zombie' Strain Of Swine Flu
The BBC is reporting a new 'zombie' (H1Z1) strain of swine flu that is capable of resuscitating the recently dead. Holy sawed-off shotgun shit!
After death, this virus is able to restart the heart of it's victim for up to two hours after the initial demise of the person where the individual behaves in extremely violent ways from what is believe to be a combination of brain damage and a chemical released into blood during "resurrection."
If you haven't guessed, this is fake as hell, but the story looks like a genuine BBC article (see picture). The only catch is it's hosted on another website (bounce.with.me.uk). Still, you can probably trick at least a few of your dumber friends into buying it. And, if they do fall for it (and they are ladies), I want you to convey a message for me: I'm the world's greatest lover.
EU quarantines London in flu panic [bouncwith]
Thanks to herbert, Trin, Alex 'Bloody Shadow' and andrew, who tricked all their friends into drinking the Kool-Aid and are now all friendless.
May 3 2009 Zombie Defense Training For Little Kids
This is a video of some little Japanese kids being trained to fight zombies. And let me tell you -- they are cute as little buttons. Remember folks, teach your kids how to properly protect themselves against attacks from the undead. Because otherwise you're gonna have to explain to your parents how a zombie ate their grandchild. And they will be pissed.
Thanks to Shun, whose children are all comfortable wielding sawed-off shotguns.
Apr 12 2009 Woody Harrelson Assaults 'Zombie' Paparazzo
And in celebrity-related undead news, Woody Harrelson beat up a photographer and blamed it on the fact he thought the dude was a zombie. Good lookin', Woody.
Harrelson, who is being sued by another TMZ photographer for an alleged assault in 2006, did not deny his involvement.
"I wrapped a movie called 'Zombieland,' in which I was constantly under assault by zombies, then flew to New York, still very much in character," Harrelson said in a statement issued Friday by his publicist."With my daughter at the airport I was startled by a paparazzo, who I quite understandably mistook for a zombie," he said.
Ha, quite understandably is right. But seriously, Woody, how'd you sneak weed on the plane?
Woody Harrelson claims he mistook photographer for zombie [cnn]
Thanks to Larry, RyanThePerson, Evan and 4thirty, who once beat up a group of vampire paparazzi before realizing they were just a bunch of pale Twihards trying to score a picture of Robert Patteson.
Feb 18 2009 Toadstool Brains: A Super Mario Zombie Shirt
Zombie Mario, who would have thought? Not me, but that's because I'm not creative. One time in grade school our teacher told us to draw a made-up animal and I drew a cat. I did not receive full credit. And that, dear reader, is how I developed a stuttering problem. But that's neither here nor there, just traumatizing. This Zombario t-shirt costs $16 and features everybody's favorite mushroom munchin' fool out on the prowl for brains. And as you can see, he found some. Toadstool's. Ha, he's probably tripping his ass off right now, just look at his eyes. So dreamy. *swoon*
zombie mario must have run out of extra lives [technabob]
Nov 19 2008 Furbies Not Extinct After All, Still Delicious
Pygmy Tarsiers, now to be referred to only by their scientific name Uglyas Shite, were once thought to be extinct. Well think again!
Pygmy tarsiers rank among the rarest of the many tarsier species in Asia and the Pacific -- and in fact some primatologists had written them off as extinct.They have the distinctive, big-eyed look often associated with Furbys, gremlin-like talking toys that were popular in the late 1990s. Compared with the robotic Furbys, however, the real animals' dimensions are seriously downsized: They typically measure less than 4 inches (105 mm) from head to tail, with most of that length being tail. They weigh less than 2 ounces. And unlike Furbys, they hardly ever vocalize.
That thing does not look like a Furby. It looks like an alien with hair. And miniature human hands. ;) Can I get an amen? Anybody? Okay, how about a high five? Geez, what's with you people today? Well how about one of you club me in the back of the head and th
UPDATE: Ugh, my brain feels mushy. How long was I out for? Thanks a lot whoever you were, I should have known somebody would jump at the chance to brain the poor Geekologie Writer. Oh -- and who said anything about teabagging? I taste hair.
Real-life Furbys rediscovered [msnbc]
Thanks to Furbalicious, Chris, Kathryn, and Kevin, who, for the tips, each receive a coupon for a free pygmy tarsier. Try them with BBQ!
