Apr 4 2009 Breakfast Of The Ancients: Baconhenge
Baconhenge is what the ancients ate for breakfast before battling the shit out of each other with rocks and tree branches. Also, sacrificing virgins to the potato gods and dancing around with gourds on their junk (trust me, I mistakenly sat in on an anthropology class when I was high). So, what's in the delicious meal? Basically a bunch of bacon-wrapped French toast sticks standing in a dozen-egg frittata. Mmmm.
Let Baconhenge be the site of your seasonal celebration! Let bacon stand in for the sacrificed Year King, French toast for the Grain Goddess, the eggs in the frittata for the Cosmic Egg, and the vegetables for the bountiful Earth on which we live.
Yeah, you could do that. Or just eat it because it's freaking delicious. Bon Appétit! Or, as we say here in the U.S., Bon Appéboob.
Hit the link for the entire recipe.
Baconhenge [theanticraft]
Thanks to Steve, who got an immediate Bon Appéboner when he saw Baconhenge in real life.
Apr 3 2009 Angry Villagers Chase Off Street View Car
A group of angry villagers in Broughton, England chased off a Google Street View car because they feared an invasion of privacy and increased crime in the area.
"I was upstairs when I spotted the camera car driving down the lane," resident Paul Jacobs told The Times of London. "My immediate reaction was anger: How dare anyone take a photograph of my home without my consent? I ran outside to flag the car down and told the driver he was not only invading our privacy but also facilitating crime.
"This is an affluent area. We've already had three burglaries locally in the past six weeks. If our houses are plastered all over Google it's an invitation for more criminals to strike. I was determined to make a stand, so I called the police."
Just to be fair, I broke into Mr. Jacob's home and stole his valuables and last bowl of cereal just to prove that, even without Street View, The Geekologie Writer will still rob you blind. But seriously, Paul, if you could pick up some more Raisin Nut Bran, that would be awesome.
Gang of villagers chase away Google car [cnn]
Thanks to Brad, who once chased a Google Street View car six blocks before he realized it was a pizza delivery guy.
Mar 9 2009 Loewe Sound: A Cute Audio Commercial
This is a cute commercial for European-based electronics manufacturer, Loewe. The ad was designed to highlight their "extremely realistic sound", but to me it highlighted how cool a human remote-controller would be. Sorry, what was that? Haha -- you've been muted, son!
Thanks to Florian, who accidentally hit the power button and killed his roommate.
Feb 24 2009 Not Impressed: The UK's Hottest Halo Fan
Apparently 25-year old Amanda Johnstone from South London was chosen by XBox as the UK's hottest Halo fan. I find it a little hard to believe, but who knows, I'd still Chief it.
At this point, we'd love to tell you (Miss World Style) about her charity work, measurements and star sign, but sadly we can only inform you that aside from walking round her house in a skimpy top and hot pants, Amanda runs her own events management company, hangs about the Halo Club night at The Cross, Kings Cross, London, sings karaoke and walks her pet Chihuahua 'Chiefy'. Come on, at least it's not quite as obvious as calling it Halo. Ok, maybe it is.
Eh, she's okay. I doubt she can actually play Halo though. I would have thought the UK's hottest Halo fan would have been more, you know, caught in a house fire. Did that just get you excited? It did me! It's called pyrophilia folks, and I've got it.
Continue Reading " Not Impressed: The UK's Hottest Halo Fan "
Sep 3 2008 Robotic Spider To Destroy Liverpool On Friday
A 50-foot robotic spider, which has been sitting dormant on the side of an office building since last night, is going to come alive on Friday and destroy the everliving shit out of Liverpool.
Weighing 37 tons and standing 50ft high, the spider is currently clinging to the side of Concourse Tower in the city.
The huge insect spotted in Liverpool is in fact entirely mechanical and part of a new piece of street theater organized to mark its year as Capital of Culture.It is thought the insect will come down from its current position tomorrow and then 'wake up' on Friday before starting to explore the city.
Tens of thousands of visitors are expected in Liverpool over the three days to try and see the mechanical arachnid.
Make that tens of thousands of soon to be dead visitors. Seriously, would you rather take your chances trying to catch a glimpse of a giant robotic spider or, I dunno, live? You're still gonna go see it aren't you? Haha, I can read you like a graphic novel.
Hit the jump for several more pictures of the last thing a buch of Liverpudlians will ever see.
Continue Reading " Robotic Spider To Destroy Liverpool On Friday "
Apr 30 2008 SuperMario Plumber May Have Legal Issues
Some UK plumbing firm thought they'd ramp up their business with video game lovers and name their company SuperMario heating and plumbing. Now I don't know if this has already been resolved, but Nintendo may have something to say about that. To be fair though, at least one of the founders is named Mario. Well, Mariusz "Mario" Gruszka. Hrrm, that's pretty questionable. So yeah, Mariusz may need a new o-ring himself by the time the Nintendo lawyers are through with him.
super mario is really a plumber, really. [technabob]
Nov 30 2007 Plastic Car Is Cool, Does 60 MPH In Reverse
The Acrea Zest is a little plastic car available in Europe. It has no top at all, and the floors are drilled out to allow rain to pass through. It weighs 1/3 that of a typical vehicle, has a gas engine that gets 66 miles per gallon, and has a top speed of 60 miles per hour. It is built symmetrically, so it can also do 60 MPH in reverse. Sweet! They go for around $16,400, and I think I want one. Although maybe not. The last time I did 60 MPH in a plastic vehicle my father was dragging me behind his truck on my Big-Wheels. He said it was to teach me a life lesson. I'm not positive what that lesson was, but I think it had something to do with the dangers of dragging your son behind a truck at 60 MPH after you've been drinking all morning. Thanks dad.
Two videos of the car after the jump, one in French.
Continue Reading " Plastic Car Is Cool, Does 60 MPH In Reverse "
Oct 29 2007 ISIS Puzzle Ball: Not As Tough As My Balls
The ISIS is a tricky puzzle ball that is apparently hard as hell to solve. Each one is unique, with only one solution. If you solve it you can win prizes like cash, a massage chair, and other crap.
The puzzle is a gleaming orb, handcrafted in England of a premier alloy of aluminum and constructed of precisely engineered, moveable bands. Each band is etched with hieroglyphics; the challenge is to position those bands in the right combination to unlock the ISIS. You are given 10 encrypted clues to decipher.
Let the fun begin! Then when you're pissed after a half hour pull out the trusty sledgehammer and solve that bitch real quick. Oh wait it says on the site if you damage it you're out. Who has time for a puzzle that lasts years anyways? Especially one that costs $200? There's only one puzzle I've been trying to solve for over a year, and that's how to get laid. You know, without paying.
Sharper Image [thanks to JE once again for the tip]
Oct 23 2007 Toothbrush Couch Looks Comfortable, I Think
Some A+ student over at Bucks New University in the UK designed this toothbrushy couch. Looks comfortable doesn't it? I think so. A lot more comfortable than the one I designed with corncobs instead of soft blue tentacles. Suffice it to say I ran and jumped into my couch one day and lost my backdoor virginity -- if you catch my drift. If you don't catch my drift what I'm saying is that a corncob went up my ass.
When is a couch not a couch, but wacky student work? [core77]
Oct 22 2007 Cereal Bowl Keeps Your Crispies Crispity
The EatMeCrunchy cereal bowl is no ordinary cereal receptacle my friends, oh no. It's a bowl with a secret. That secret is a shelf that your cereal sits atop, where it remains crunchy crispity until you push it over the ledge into the milk vat at the bottom. It costs $8, or you can get two for $14. It's probably a bitch and a half to keep clean, but may be a necessary evil for you die hard crunchy cereal lovers. I'd consider getting one if I ate my cereal with milk. But I don't -- I use bourbon, and I like everything thoroughly saturated. Remember: bourbon makes breakfast better -- and the drive to work dangerous.
EatMeCrunchy Bowl Keeps Your Cereal Crunchy, Has Stupid Name [ohgizmo]
Oct 19 2007 Chairs Change Color Based On Your Attire
An art exhibit by Moritz Waldemeyer entitled 'By Royal Appointment' features these chairs, which change the color aura around them to reflect the hue of your clothing. Go to Gallery Libby Sellers in South Kensington, London if you want to give them a go. Ol' Moritz suggests, "Wear something bright, this works particularly well." Which indicates to me they don't work particularly well. I gave them a go, and they had a difficult time accurately reproducing the pale eggshell that is my birthday suit. To be truthful it's all kind of a blur though. One minute I'm stripping down and taking a seat, and the next I'm being tazed and kicked a lot. F'ing security.
Designer chair reflects the color of your attire [newlaunches]
Oct 16 2007 Space Money Looks Like Breast Implants
The Quasi Universal Intergalactic Denomination, or Quid for short, is the new currency designed for outer space. They have no sharp edges and are made from the same polymer as non-stick pans -- to ensure no damage to space tourists or ships. Currently, one quid is worth about $12.50, which is probably enough for an intergalactic gumball. A spaceball. But if you don't want to pay that much I'll sell you a hardened breast implant with a juju fruit inside for half the price. Cheap and edible. Win-win baby.
New currency for space travellers [bbc news]
Oct 8 2007 Stick Chair Looks Like It Could Be Painful
Carlo Volf displayed his Stick Chair at the recent Made In Denmark exhibit in London. He actually made the chair back in 2000, but it's still drawing oohs and aahs from crowds for some reason. "The chair directly references the classic Spindleback Chair, but with a modern twist, as Volf's style reflects newness found within traditional Danish design." Not really sure what that means, because I'm not a seating expert. But to me it looks less like a good chair, and more like a horrible way to lose your anal virginity.
Carlo Volf's Stick Chair [core77]
Oct 4 2007 Wire Lamborghini Is Slow, Must Be Pedaled
Sculptor Benedict Radcliffe and pedal car designer Ben Wilson showed off this wire Lamborghini at the Art Car Parade in Manchester last month. If you can't tell, it's made of wire. And has pedals to make it go. God, can you imagine all the bugs splattered on your face when you take that puppy out and let it rip at speeds in excess of 2-3 mph? Wow, what a joyride that would be. Needless to say, this is one Lamborghini that will not get you laid. Which, I thought, was the purpose of them in the first place.
One more of a cop warning these guys they're about to chop the toes off an oblivious woman with a sign, after the jump.
Continue Reading " Wire Lamborghini Is Slow, Must Be Pedaled "
Sep 26 2007 Cybercars Are Better Than The Bus
Daventry, in Northamptonshire, UK, is testing the use of cybercars, which are computer controlled cars. You push a button along the route, and the little electric car comes and picks you up. They follow a pre-programmed route, and use lasers to avoid hitting things. I think these little guys are awesome as hell, and I wish we had them in my town. I have to ride the city bus, and somehow I always end up sitting next to a serial masturbator. They've ruined several of my suits.
Cybercars Are Better Than The Bus [therawfeed]
Sep 20 2007 UK To Build Wave Powered Generator
The UK has approved the construction of the Wave Hub, which will be the first full-scale wave powered generator in the world. It looks like an underwater level from Mario Bros., but it actually generates electricity. Located off the coast of Cornwall, it may one day generate enough energy for 7,500 households and save 300,000 tons of carbon dioxide in 25 years. Which is impressive, but if they installed this thing in my waterbed I could power at least 10,000 homes. Because, you know, I swim in bed. Okay fine, I masturbate a lot. Practically nonstop.
UK To Build Wave Powered Generator [uberreview]
Aug 15 2007 Cardboard PSP Arcade Cutout
Do you get so stoned that you can't tell the difference between a piece of folded cardboard and a several hundred pound machine at the mall's arcade? If so, then the Suck UK design firm has got a product for you. It turns your PSP into, well, a miniature cardboard arcade machine. Available in September, I imagine it's too high tech for the old quarter on a string trick to work. But that's okay, because there's still the laundromat. Do your laundry for free and meet the easiest women in town.
Cardboard PSP Arcade Cutout [Product Reviews]
