Nov 4 2009 Living At The Airport: Luggage Turns To Sofa

This 4-piece luggage ensemble by Dutch designer Erik De Nijs forms a comfortable little sofa when you're not dragging it around the airport. Sure it's all mixy-matchy, but maybe Erik is blind and the woman at the fabric store didn't have the heart to tell him he chose four different patterns. Of course she didn't -- like women have hearts! BWHAHAHAHAHA!! Or motor skills. BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Suited Case by Erik De Nijs [likecool]

Thanks to Stephy, who once slept in an airport for two weeks straight and has ridden the baggage conveyor belt to the end.

Nov 2 2009 Spanish Space Hotel Still A Go For 2012

Intergalactic Suites, the $4.4 million per 3-night space hotel (you better change the sheets!) that we first reported on back in 2007, is apparently still a go for a 2012 grand opening. I'm skeptical. Also, on the waiting list. God I'm rich!

Galactic Suite Ltd, set up in 2007, hopes to start its project with a single pod in orbit 280 miles above the earth, with the capacity to hold four guests and two astronaut-pilots.

It will take a day and a half to reach the pod -- which Claramunt compared to a mountain retreat, with no staff to greet the traveler.

"When the passengers arrive in the rocket, they will join it for three days, rocket and capsule. With this we create in the tourist a confidence that he hasn't been abandoned. After three days the passenger returns to the transport rocket and returns to earth," he said.

Interesting, but I can think of a better business model. Namely, taking the customers to the hotel, then pulling away and threatening to leave them there if they don't pay another $10 million (you know they've got it). Geekologie Writer LLC: 2010 Startup of the Year!

Space hotel says it's on schedule to open in 2012 [msnbc]

Thanks to thanks to, who made me do that on purpose to make me look stupid EVEN THOUGH I KNOW ITS YOU FDSY.

Oct 21 2009 NASA Testing First New Rocket In 30 Years

NASA, an organization that has actually convinced itself they put men on the moon despite it being all staged in Hollywood, is now testing a new rocket. The phallic booster is the first new design to come out of agency since 1981. Which, incidentally, is the year I was born. What does all this mean? I'm 28!

The rocket is Ares I-X -- a suborbital prototype for the Ares I rocket NASA plans to use to launch its shuttle successor, the Orion spacecraft. Currently the world's tallest booster, the Ares I-X rolled out to the launch pad early Tuesday and is slated to blast off Oct. 27 at 8 a.m. EDT (1200 GMT) on a short demonstration flight.

"The Ares I-X is going to fly straight up and straight out," said NASA commentator George Diller as the 327-foot (100-meter) tall rocket began moving toward Launch Pad 39B at the Kennedy Space Center in Florida. "During that time we'll be testing the stage separation to determine how well the first stage separation motors perform, as well as the performance of the booster itself, namely the parachutes and other apparatus that will deploy."

The $445 million rocket's rollout comes on the eve of a final report from an independent committee appointed by the White House to review NASA's plans for future human spaceflight.

You want me to tell you about the future of human spaceflight? Cause it goes like this: The Geekologie Writer builds a rocketship in the shed behind his house and blasts himself into the sun. Everyone is so sad rockets are banned for ever. Then everybody dies because you couldn't colonize Mars. The end.

NASA Unveils Ares 1-X Rocket for Historic Test Flight [foxnews]

Thanks to joseph, who tied his little brother to a bunch of fireworks and was just about to light the fuse when his mom caught him and yelled at him for having matches.

Jul 20 2009 Found Her!: Carmen Sandiego Spotted In Wild

I swear this is old, but honestly, that's never stopped me from posting anything in the past, so why stop now? I'M RUNNING THIS RED LIGHT! Anyway, the law finally caught up with Carmen Sandiego at an undisclosed airport. And as you can see, she hasn't aged as well as I was hoping. Remember when Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? first came out and your friend convinced you if you beat the game 200 times you got to see her naked? Yeah, I know all my world capitals.

Carmen Sandiego Has Been Found! [geekstir]

Thanks to Joemo, who once found a Carmen Sandiego shaped barbecue chip but accidentally broke it before he could sell it on eBay.

Jun 1 2009 Boom Shacka Lacka!: The New PSP Go

This is the new PSP. It's called the PSP Go. You know, because it's portable. It may or may not come preloaded with porn. Specs? I has them:

* 3.8-inch display (resolution is undisclosed)
* 43 percent lighter than the PSP-3000
* 16GB of Flash storage
* Bluetooth built-in; supports handset tethering and BT headsets
* No UMD drive
* Memory Stick Micro slot
* New Gran Turismo, Little Big Planet and new Metal Gear Solid (!) on the way
* Full PlayStation Network support (movie and TV rentals / purchases)
* Integration with PlayStation 3 (works the same as the PSP-3000 does)
* Sony views each of its products as "10-year lifecycle products," so the PSP "needs to live on."

Well, what do you think? I like the sliding feature, that's not necessary. Also, PSP Go -- really? I hope nobody got paid to come up with that. Because it's stupid. I would have gone with PSP You Can Take It With You.

Sony's PSP Go leaks out before E3, is obviously a go [engadget]

Thanks to obi jwan and Rik, who don't need portable gaming devices because they only play mind games.

May 18 2009 How To: Get Free WiFi During Your Commute

Like this. At least that's how they do it in Moscow. From Russia With Love, baby! Also, with nesting dolls and bacon vodka. Suck it, Mr. Bond, you just got stirred!

Hit the jump for another shot of the girl in action just in case you thought it was fake or something. OH YEAH -- WELL YOUR DIAMOND IS FAKE!

Continue Reading " How To: Get Free WiFi During Your Commute "

Nov 26 2008 Remember: Drive Safely This Holiday Season

With the holidays rapidly approaching (read: Thanksgiving's tomorrow) there's a whole lot of traveling going on. And for those of you that will be out on the roads -- be careful. Winter weather is upon us, and so are all the crazies. So be safe, and don't drive like this. You know, like a woman. OH SNAP! Haha, now my girlfriend is kicking me in the nuts. It kind of hurts and feels good at the same time. Okay, that one just hurt. Honey, please, not the rolling pin!

Hit the jump for another one. But seriously folks, be safe, they've banned Geekologie in most hospitals.

Continue Reading " Remember: Drive Safely This Holiday Season "

Nov 3 2008 World's Largest Cruise Ship Being Built

Royal Carribbean is having the world's largest cruise ship built for them, and it's gonna be ready to set sail next November. The Oasis of the Seas is being billed as a traveling city, and will include not one but TWO 24-hour buffets.

The liner will span 16 decks, encompass 220,000 gross registered tons (GRT), carry 5,400 guests and feature 2,700 staterooms.

Almost 1200 feet long, 154 foot wide and rising 213 feet above the water line, the Oasis of the Seas will be able to host 3,000 crew to service every passenger's need.

Oasis of the Seas will be the first ship to tout the cruise line's new neighborhood concept of seven distinct themed areas, which include Central Park, Boardwalk, the Royal Promenade, the Pool and Sports Zone, Vitality at Sea Spa and Fitness Center, Entertainment Place and Youth Zone.

Remind you of anything? No? I'm talking about the Titanic. Remember that one? It too was touted as the latest and greatest in shipage, and we all know what happened to it. Yep, I think there's a definite lesson to be learned here. "Jack, I'm flying!"

Hit the jump for a bunch more pics, many in stunning rendered detail.

Continue Reading " World's Largest Cruise Ship Being Built "

Oct 30 2008 Why?: The Samsonite O(MGWTFBBQ)BAG

The Samsonite OBAG is a rolling suitcase in which the two compartments remain level with the ground while the unit is pulled along. Because, let's face it, dizzy clothes are unhappy clothes. It can also easily be dragged up stairs or thrown down an elevator shaft. Unfortunately, high maneuverability comes at a cost: namely storage space. There isn't any. You might as well just pack a tire instead -- that's what I do. Leaves my clothes smelling nice and rubbery. Oh, and what's this -- hello spinner hubcap! *BLING*

Hit the jump for a bunch more pics.

Continue Reading " Why?: The Samsonite O(MGWTFBBQ)BAG "

Oct 28 2008 Whee! View Outerspace From A Fishbowl

Not cool with viewing space from the cramped confines of a tiny dildo? Well how about the 360-degree views offered from the "Fishbowl Spaceship".

The company, founded by iD software (Doom, Quake) chief John Carmack, plans to build this far-fetched space bubble next year, aiming to start its first suborbital flights a year later. The company says a ticket on this wild ride will cost you a relatively cheap $100,000.

Awesome, now fumigate the bubble to get rid of those anal space tentacles and I'm sold.

Fishbowl Spaceship to give tourists a breathtaking 360-degree view [dvice]

Thanks to LSDiesel, who once huffed a bunch of nitrous and then heard this WAWAWAWAWA in his head that made him feel like he was on a spaceship.

Oct 16 2008 Apparently Optimus Is A Saints Fan Too

What's up with all my heroes being New Orleans Saints fans? First Master Chief, and now Optimus Prime. You'd think at least one of them would root for the Redskins or Steelers. But noooo, they're all New Orleans fans. Maybe it's Mardi Gras. Granted, loving boobs is a hero prerequisite.

On a side note, I really am gonna be in New Orleans this weekend, so let's meet up and wrestle some f***in' gators! Or, I dunno, something else.*

*I'm thinking boobs.

Saints' Fans' Signs of the Times [blogofneworleans]

Thanks to Alejandro, who may or may not live in New Orleans, but if he does, better let me puke on his shoes this weekend. Now transform and onside kick out!

Jul 18 2008 Epic Failure: Translate Server Error

If you're ever in China you have got to hit up Translate server error. Best food EVER.

Then we'll grab a bite at 404 Not Found [adfreak]

NOTE: I don't actually know if that's a restaurant or what. Anybody that can read it feel free to add.

Thanks Jason, a problem has been detected and Windows has been shut down to prevent damage to your computer.

Have a great weekend everyone, I'll miss you.

Jun 20 2008 Here Grandma, I Got You A Pretty Snow Globe

Snow globes are glass spheres filled with little scenes and some plastic snow that whirls around when you shake the thing. These ones just happen to be filled with very unusual scenes. Like, well, a police officer putting a bullet in some dude's melon. There's a shit-ton more after the jump, which I suggest you peruse because I just spent like thirty hundred billion hour-years editing them and posting them for you. They were all made by artists Walter Martin and Paloma Munoz and are part of a limited edition of 250 pieces. Each goes for about $750.

These two artists have been working together since 1993. They sculpt miniature figures set in snowy outside scenes that depict sometimes horrible situations. Each snow globe tells a story and it's up to the viewer to fill in the blanks of those stories. Some of these miniature people seem trapped in a fairy-tale like story.

So what's the story behind the scene in that globe? My guess is an officer is practicing his close range shooting skills on the back of some guy's head while another copper watches and, quite possibly, gets aroused. Freaking classic, just like mom used to read me before bed.

Hit the jump for a ton more (men throwing kids down a well, gun toting grandmas, etc.) and feel free to fill in the stories if you want.

Continue Reading " Here Grandma, I Got You A Pretty Snow Globe "

Mar 18 2008 OLD!: How (Not) To Safely Transport Pets

For all the lovers of old news out there, here's a post for you: the dog-toting running board sack. It was published in Popular Mechanics in 1936 and still remains the safest way to travel with your pet.

When you take your dog along for a ride, but prefer not having it inside the car, it can ride safely and comfortably in this sack, which is carried on the running board. The bottom of the sack is clamped to the running board and the top is fastened to the lower part of an open window with hooks, covered with small rubber tubing to prevent marring the car.

I know what you're thinking, and yes, this is a great idea. I'm going to build one for my wife's dog and take her for a spin around town. I'll let you know how it goes.

UPDATE: Okay the dog bit me and refused to get in the sack. Luckily I'm babysitting my little brother later so maybe he'll want to go for a ride.

UPDATE: I backed over him. It's okay though, I was smart enough to test the sack on a bike first before moving to a car. I've made a few modifications, and I think he's down for another go at it.

UPDATE: Okay, I think he's somewhere between the gas station and the movie theater.

Modern Mechanix Round-UP [boingboing]

Feb 26 2008 Reserve A Spot In Heaven & Sin All You Want

Worried about the life you've lived? Don't worry, I'm with you. But now there's hope for even the worst of us sinners thanks to a company selling reserved spots in heaven. That's right folks, for a paltry $12.79 you too can guarantee a pass to the cloudy oasis that is heaven.

The package includes:

Heavenly issued certificate of reservation registered in the Book of Light™

A First class ticket to Heaven. Why walk those stairs when you can fly?

The Official Heaven Identification Card so you can get around without getting hassled.

Heaven 101 mini informational guide. Don’t be a victim of culture shock. Get acquainted with the land.

Now if you're not satisfied with the Essential Package you can opt for the All Access Kit for $15.95. In addition to all the basic crap it includes an " all access VIP pass. This pass will grant you access to “VIP exclusive areas” including the Land of Milk and Honey and Thug Mansion, where all the elite get together and kick it." I do like milk and honey, so I may have to drop for the upgrade. Too bad I think this is all a sham. Yeah, it turns out the company also sells reserved spots in hell. That's what tipped me off. Because, let's face it, those spots come free and I've got a whole row reserved.

Heaven Product Page
Hell Product Page

Thanks to Kelly, who doesn't need a stupid pass to be an angel, for the tip

Feb 8 2008 Somebody Buy Me A Ticket: The A2 "Son Of Concorde" Supersonic Jet Is Pretty Fast

I never got a chance to fly on a Concorde, mostly because I'm poor and don't like flying (or driving, or walking). But there may be a chance in the not-too-distant future to experience supersonic flight after all thanks to the A2. Nicknamed the "Son of Concorde" the jet is powered by liquid hydrogen and can reach speeds in excess of 3,400 mph. The plane will cruise at a 100,000ft altitude and travel from England or Brussels to Australia in under five hours. The plane seats 300 and tickets are expected to go for around $3,900. Which is a lot. Being able to join the Mile High and Mach 5 clubs in one trip would be pretty cool though. But still not as cool as making love with a jetpack on.

A2, the "Son of Concorde," is supersonic, green and sexy [dvice]

Nov 13 2007 Luggage Robot Follows You With Your Stuff

Take a look at the picture. I know what you're thinking, because I thought the same thing when I first saw it. "What the f*** is that?" To my disappointment it turns out to not be a big blue train coming at you, but a luggage robot. A Russian based company will be selling "Tony", the suitcase that follows you, starting in 2009. You carry a card in your pocket and the little bastard follows you around the airport using its robotic brain, internal gyroscope, and all kinds of other detectors and sensors. If someone takes it or your card an alarm goes off. The company is already taking orders, and will gladly take your $2,000, but I'd wait if I was you. I typically don't advise buying an item in advance that only exists as an incredibly shitty drawing in Microsoft Paint.

Note: Yes, that's the real picture they provide.

Robotic Suitcase Follows Owner Around Like R2D2 [therawfeed]

Oct 26 2007 Electric Skateboard Is Not Good For Tricks

The Skatemaster FT-2 is an electric skateboard that reaches breakneck speeds of up to 11 MPH and has a range of about 7 miles. It takes between 3-6 hours to charge and comes with an awkward looking handheld transmitter that controls the sealed electric motor. You use the trigger to both accelerate and decelerate your speed, so there's no need to put your foot down. It'll run you about $290 or so and is awesome. Almost as awesome as the electric scooter I used to have. Which, on a scale of awesomeness, was right up there with falling down a flight of stairs in front of a pretty girl and getting stabbed in the gut with a flathead screwdriver.

Skatemaster - the lazy dude's sk8tr rig [redferret]

Oct 2 2007 NYPD's New License Plate Readers

The New York Police Department is currently testing a camera that can read license plates and then transmit that information to a database to search for matches. The camera is a couple of blocks from ground zero, and is part of the city's effort to create a high-tech security ring around Lower Manhattan. No data is being collected at the moment -- the camera is just being tested, so you can rest (a little) easier. Big brother is not yet in full swing. The good news is that they didn't say the camera can scan vehicles for hookers. They also failed to mention what happens if you don't have a plate on. Which probably means you beat the system.

New York City Cameras to Read License Plates [therawfeed]

Oct 2 2007 Man Attaches Train Horn To Car, People Crap

My dad hooked an old 18 wheeler's horn up to his Pinto station wagon, and when you honked it the headlights would basically dim off. But damn was it loud. The dumb bastard in this video specializes in mounting train horns to cars so you can go out and honk so loud people crap their pants. Based on the video I would say several people got a case of the ookey dookies that day. Now I don't promote this kind of behavior. I'm confident these guys are penis-less jackasses. But that's because they use this horn for evil. I'm mature enough to only use it for good, like getting jerks off their cell phones while driving. I'm practically a superhero.

Train horn on a car - Havoc on the streets [newlaunches]