Jun 17 2009 Zappity Zap!: Police Will Tase Your Grandma
Just in case you were wondering, the police will tase your 72-year old grandma. You hear that, members of the geriatric species? YOU ARE NOT EXEMPT FROM THE ZAPPERY! Also, does the officer really yell "TASERED!" as he's doing it? Because that's awesome. I'm gonna start doing that.
POSTED! LEAVE A COMMENT -- LEAVE A COMMENT!!
Thanks to Watch-303, alex, double dragon, The Naked Wizard and Beth, who would have torn the electrodes out and flown off on their jetpacks like superheroes.
Jun 13 2009 Student Makes Barrel Monster, Gets Arrested
I don't care what you say, that's probably the best life those barrels could have asked for. God knows I've run over my fair share and dragged them home.
NC State student Joseph Carnevale, the artist behind the Traffic Barrel Monster, has been arrested for stealing the barrels and "cutting and screwing them together to make a statue," which apparently is a misdemeanor in North Carolina.
The total cost of the damage has been estimated at $360 and a court case is scheduled for July 21st.
WHOA WHOA WHOA -- $360 for four barrels? What are they, lined with crystals? Sounds like somebody in the barrel making business is in bed with somebody at the department of transportation. And they're doing it.
Traffic Barrel Monster Creator Arrested [jalopnik]
Thanks to Ty, who once made a bong out of a traffic cone.
May 21 2009 Girl Miraculously Escapes Darwin Award Despite Diving In Front Of Truck For iPod
Apparently some 16-year old girl dove into traffic because she dropped her iPod in the street and had already blasted her remaining brains out at level 11 volume.
The girl was walking across the street on Tuesday when she dropped her iPod. She went back to grab it in moving traffic and was, unsurprisingly, hit by the approaching pickup truck. She suffered a broken leg, but hey, her iPod is OK!
Now this is the time where I close my eyes and daydream about being the person driving the truck. OH. UH-OH! LADY LOOK OU.... There were no survivors.
Brilliant Girl Jumps In Front of a Pickup Truck to Save iPod [gizmodo]
May 11 2009 Child Safety First: The Stroller Trike
The Taga Stroller Trike allows you to get some exercise while at the same time getting those pasty leeches of yours out from in front of the television -- and into traffic! HONK HONK, BEEP BEEP!
Taga isn't the first pedal powered vehicle with space to load up the kiddies, it does put add a few new levels of convenience to the way you schlep your offspring around.
For starters, it folds up so you can fit it in the car trunk for trips out of town. Then there's the wide range of attachments, including setups for two kids, covered seats for rainy days, and shopping baskets. You can even adjust the length of the Taga depending on what load you need to carry.
Sure, why not? Unfortunately, the Taga is currently only available in Europe because using your children as a protective shield from oncoming traffic is frowned upon here in the states. Which is exactly why I'm moving back in with my parents. Taco night! Ladies? Just a heads up though: if we mess around we have to do it with my bedroom door open.
Taga stroller/trike is an awesome way to bring the kids along on your trips. [dvice]
Apr 14 2009 A Grass Wheel For The Concrete Jungle
The Grass Wheel was created by David Gallaugher, Kevin James, and Jacob Jebailey of the Dalhousie School of Architecture, and provides a comfortable, shoe-free mode of eco-transportation in the concrete jungle (grass-sandals guys, just saying). And I think we can all agree, it makes a very powerful statement. One about renewable energy or something. No? Human hamster wheels? A-ha -- space technology and growing grass upside down! Yes, very thought provoking. How do they do that?
Grass Wheel [neatorama]
Thanks to Armando, who is all man and refuses to walk in anything but a broken-glass wheel. Nice, Armando, but I'll stick to my burning coals wheel.
Jan 20 2009 Wow, What A Go-Getter: Kid Buys Back Car To Prove Speeding Ticket Was Falsely Issued
One day Dale Lyle got a speeding ticket in the mail issued by one of those automatic ticketing cameras. It claimed he was doing 98MPH in his 14-year old Honda Civic, a car he insisted could only do 85MPH max on a downhill slope with a tailwind. So what did he do? He did what any badass would do -- he stuck it to the man like dogshit under a cardoor handle.
Mr Lyle, 21, who has a clean driving license, had already sold the car to a friend for £600. He had to take out a bank overdraft to buy it back. Then he had to pay an independent driving expert £600 to test the 1.3litre Civic's top speed at a circuit in Bedfordshire.
The result was as expected. Even when driven flat-out, the Honda could still only do a top speed of 85.4mph in fourth gear and 81.3mph in fifth.Next, Mr Lyle obtained the mobile speed-camera footage of his alleged offence - travelling at 98mph on a 70mph three-lane carriageway of the A38, near Plymouth, on December 13, 2007.
The three-minute film shows three other cars in the frame at the same time, he said, which he believes means his vehicle was mistaken for another.
Nice, Dale, way to make us all proud. Now make the court give you back all the money you spent. I swear, I wish I was more like you. I probably would have just paid the fines and then vandalized the ticketing camera. Yay, passive-aggressiveness!
Also, somebody make this website a freaking Wikipedia page already. Geekologie demands Wikognition!
Hit the jump for a picture of the test report Dale had run.
Dec 26 2008 High School Students Use Photoshop, Traffic Cameras To Prank Enemies, Puzzle Police
High school students in Montgomery County, Maryland (where, incidentally, I used to live -- go Q.O.!) are Photoshopping pictures of their enemy's license plates, taping them to another car, and then speeding through areas with those automatic ticketing cameras. Interesting....
The Speed Camera Program was implemented in March of this year and used for the purpose of reducing traffic and pedestrian collisions in the county. Cameras are located in residential areas and school zones where the posted speed limit is 35 miles per hour or lower. A $40 citation is mailed to the owner of the car for violating the speed limit in these areas.The ingenuity of today's teenagers is truly awe inspiring. They would even go as far as to borrow car's so they would appear similar to the make and model of the car they were pranking.
Well damn. I catch any of you jerks out there rocking paper GKLGIST plates and I'll rear-end that ass with the force of a dump truck. You know, because that's what I drive. HONK HONK!
Kids Prank using Speed Cameras [lastgeek]
Thanks to Bryce, who doesn't drive a car because he's too busy driving women wild. HIYO!
Sep 4 2008 Check Live Traffic Cams With iPhone App
Hate driving in traffic? Get a job where you don't have to commute. But for the rest of us, the ones that live 8 miles from work and spend 50 minutes getting there, there's the, uh, Metro. No wait, there's an iPhone application. Yeah, it's called Mobileyes and it can access live traffic feeds so you can see a bunch of cars sitting bumped to bumper. Now That's What I Call Hits Volume 14!
Current cities where this is available are: Detroit, Hartford, Houston, Indianapolis, Kansas City, Knoxville, Los Angeles, New York, and Washington, D.C. while other cities will eventually be added. Depending on the speed of your connection the app can show low, medium or high resolution images.
Let me tell you, there's nothing safer than browsing pictures of traffic while you're driving, it just makes good sense. And you know what else does? Flying to work instead of driving. Seriously cheapass, just buy a freaking cape already.
Mobileyes iPhone App Can (Potentially) Help You Avoid Traffic [ohgizmo]
May 22 2008 DIY Car Mods: Flamethrowing Exhaust Kit
What could possibly be cooler than shooting flames out the exhaust of your car (besides actually being jet powered or having rocket launchers)? Very little. Well now, thanks to the Autoloc Flame Thrower you can toast the hell out of tailgaters like you've always wanted. The $125 kit clips on to your exhaust pipe and ignites any unburnt fuel from the engine. Unfortunately, it only works on vehicles with carburetors. So if you want to use it on a fuel-injected model you're gonna have to run an extra gas line to your tailpipe. And with today's rock-bottom gas prices, you'd be stupid to NOT jump on the flame-throwing exhaust bandwagon.
UPDATE: The bandwagon just caught fire. Somebody -- marshmallows and chocolate, STAT!
Autoloc Flame Thrower for car exhaust [boingboinggadgets]
Mar 31 2008 Mixed Feelings: Monkey Riding Motorcycle
This is a video of a monkey riding a motorcycle. I have mixed feelings about it. While a monkey zooming around on a little motorcycle is admittedly pretty neat, I can't help but feel sorry for the little guy. I mean he's doing it right in the damn traffic. That's dangerous, and no way to treat an animal. It's different when you get your little brother to perform dangerous stunts for your amusement, but monkeys? They have feelings.
UPDATE: Turns out that wanker on the curb is pulling him around with a leash. Anybody know where that guy lives? I've got my steel-toed boots laced up and they're itching for some nuts.
Thanks to Tom, who can ride a motorcycle with his eyes closed, backwards, with no hands, all the while making out with a chick clad in leather, for the tip
Mar 12 2008 Mathematical Society Of Traffic Flow In Japan Replicates "Shockwave" Traffic Jams
The Mathematical Society of Traffic Flow in Japan used a test track to replicate traffic jams that seem to occur for no reason. These "shockwave" traffic jams travel backwards at about 20 km (~12 mph). That's why you don't always see the massive wreck you expected after sitting in traffic for so long. It's just the result of varying speeds, women drivers, and probably some asshole on a cellphone.
NOTE: Joking ladies. I have two or three female friends so you know I'm not sexist. I have nothing against women drivers. Just my wife, because she sucks at driving. She couldn't keep her car off the sidewalk if it meant a lifetime supply of Little Debbie snack cakes.
Traffic Flow Video [notcot]
Feb 11 2008 Dubai Building World's Tallest Arch Bridge
They do things differently in Dubai. They like their stuff bigger, taller, and more expensive than anywhere else. So it only makes sense that construction of the world's tallest arch bridge begins next month. The bridge will peak at 670 feet, have 12 lanes of traffic, and handle up to 2,000 vehicles per hour. Scheduled completion is slated for 2012, after $817 million in construction. Nice, Dubai, nice. You may soon own almost every single Guinness World Record, but you won't own one -- world's biggest drinker. I own that one, and I won't give it up easily. As a matter of fact I already had a whole bottle of Jack Daniels for breakfast. Literally, the whole bottle, glass and all. It's gonna suck to pass, but I'll deal with that when the time comes.
World's tallest arch bridge being built in Dubai next month [dvice]
