Nov 19 2009 FroliCat BOLT: A Laser Lightshow For Cats
Yay, two laser posts in a row! The $17 FroliCat BOLT is an award winning laser lightshow for cats with owners who are too lazy to wave a laser pointer around or have lost the use of their limbs.
Simply turn it on and projects a red dot and moves it in random patterns for 15 minutes, or until your cat (or dog, or baby) realizes what's going on and attacks the gadget itself.
You know why cats love lasers so much? Because they're from the future. Plus it has something to do with their nightvision. No, really, I'm not just making this up. I took a correspondence college course in beertasting science. I wore a lab coat and everything.
Video of the POS in action after the jump.
Continue Reading " FroliCat BOLT: A Laser Lightshow For Cats "
Nov 6 2009 Gross: Spit Ball Toys Grow 200x Original Size
Spit Balls are a $ 5 toy from Edmund Scientific that grow to 200x their original size and sound like something that I don't want to touch. Still, for the sake of science, I'd put them in my mouth.
The wonder of polymers makes these slimy spit balls possible. Easy to make and fun to use, spit balls grow to 200x their original size and are slimy to the touch. Slip, slide, and bounce the balls until they explode on target.
"Growing to 200x it's original size"...."slimy to the touch"...."bouncing the balls until they explode on target"....remind you of something else? Yeah, me neither.
Product Site
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Finally Some Real Innovation! Polymer Spit Balls Grow To 200x Their Original Size [ohgizmo]
Nov 4 2009 Suck It, Mad Men!: Awesome Play-Doh Ads
This is a series of amazing Play-Doh ads that were spotted in a magazine in Singapore. They were only printed a single time, because when parent company Hasbro caught wind that somebody in their Singapore office had approved the ads, they shit Play-Doh. Then it hit the fan. Now it looks like Mr. Bill exploded in their office.
Hit the jump for four more awesome ads, and a link if you want to read about the ado the campaign caused.
Continue Reading " Suck It, Mad Men!: Awesome Play-Doh Ads "
Oct 13 2009 Power Wheels Modded Into Halo Warthog
I was never allowed to have a Power Wheels growing up because my parents were too afraid I'd back over my own head, but that's neither here not there, it's just one of the reasons I have parent issues. Anyway, some lucky tyke's father went and modded his to look like a Warthog from Halo. Sweet!
Fortunately, thanks to the folks at Bungie, we're all that much more knowledgeable about the DIY Power Wheels modder set. All it took was one M12 Light Reconnaissance Vehicle--better known as the Warthog--fashioned from the guts of a Power Wheels miniature truck--a "very used 2001 G3740 Street Scene Silverado," according to its creator.
That creator, flux83, has done a capable job of turning that Silverado into a teeny-tiny Warthog that looks to seat a maximum of two wee Spartans.
OMG how different my life would've been if only I'd had a Warthog Power Wheels growing up! I probably would have been popular in school and maybe even had a girlfriend. And you know what having a girlfriend means! Nagging, LOTS of nagging. Oooooh, swift burn to the ladies!
Hit the jump to see a video of the awesomeness in action and a link to the build page.
Sep 25 2009 They're Hugging Me!: Teddy Bear Jacket
This is a jacket made out of teddy bears from artist/designer Sebastian Errazuriz (who also brought us the zipper dress). I like it, it looks really comfortable. Now I know what you're thinking, "I bet that son of a bitch GW still sleeps with a teddy bear!" AND SO WHAT IF I DO? I bet yooooou still sleep with your parents! Kidding, I'd know if you did. HIYO! Your dad's a snorer.
Hit the jump for a couple more sexy shots. I can't help it, I love bears!
Sep 22 2009 Toy Teaches Children About Life And Death
Now I'm not saying this is the best way to explain to your daughter what happened to Mr. Fluffernutter, I'm just saying I can't think of a better one. Your parents: be thankful I'm not one of them. EXCEPT I TOTALLY AM. Your other father and I made you!
Thanks to Yopoleo, who made has never run over anything but the time limit when giving an acceptance speech.
Sep 16 2009 Mine's Nicer: Dino Van Spotted At Walmart
Ignore the handicapped tag and West Virginia plate, that's not mine. Mine has like quadruple the dinosaurs. You know, to attract more kids because dinosaurs are so awesome. That said, I would still dive into the back of this thing no questions asked.
Jurassic Park [peopleofwalmart]
Thanks to Danielle, gator, Meganologie, Nick B, Greg and michael, who aren't allowed within 100 yards of a toy store.
Aug 31 2009 Setting A Good Example: Pole Dancing Doll
These pole dancing dolls are real products despite everything you know about life telling you they shouldn't be. I'll tell you one thing: no daughter of mine is playing with a damn stripper doll. I'm looking right at you, Barbie. Hussy! Product features:
- style
- interesting
- music
- flash
- up and down
- go round and round
Wow. That's, uh, really something. Really something wrong with the world. I mean, how the hell does something like this get approved for manufacture and sale? Japan. Right, I keep forgetting.
Pole Dancer Doll Doesn't Really Set the Perfect Role Model [gizmodo]
Thanks to Octopus Pie, far tastier than Squid Cake.
Aug 30 2009 Sure, Why Not?: Siamese Rubik's Cubes
As far as I know, these conjoined Rubik's cubes have existed forever but I wouldn't know because I have enough trouble with a regular one without removing all the stickers and then backing over it with my dad's truck while sobbing and subsequently taking out the mailbox. BOOM! Recent post tie-in for the win! I AM THE L337357 bL0993R! But for those of you that are into Rubik's, you may want to consider these conjoined cubes from Deal Extreme. And, as you may well know, Siamese sextuplets are multiple times the fun of a single woman. Isn't that right, ladies? Not you righty, I'm talking to the middle ones.
Hit the jump for a couple of the other configurations available.
Aug 17 2009 What Took So Long?: A LEGO Clock Radio
I've been thinking for years how badly the world needs a $30 LEGO clock radio, so why it took so long to finally make one is beyond me. Also, quantum physics, I don't those either.
The LEGO Clock Radio is ten times the size of an original LEGO brick with knobs that work as volume and tuner controls. With an AM/FM radio and snooze feature, you'll start the day off right every morning!
* AM-FM Clock Radio with battery back-up
* 10 times the size of an actual LEGO block
* LCD display with color matched backlight
* 120V AC power adapter
* Requires 4 AA batteries
Wow, not even a CD player. But it does have small parts!
WARNING: CHOKING HAZARD - Small parts. Not for children under 3 yrs.
Listen, if my child decides to rip off those buttons and eat them, that's his prerogative. Isn't that right, GW Jr.? Awww, you look so cute holding that knife.
Thanks to naas, who wakes up the old fashioned way: to gunfire.
Aug 14 2009 Real Life Duck Hunt Is Not THAT Real Life
This Duck Hunt game from Hammacher Schlemmer costs $30 and involves shooting a mechanical flying duck with an infrared gun. Plus, if your gun runs out of batteries you can still throw rocks at it. Just like our ancestors used to do!
A 10-second charge on the barrel of the gun energizes the mechanical duck for a 30-second flight. The duck's 6" long mylar wings flap up and down nearly 500 times per minute, and it can be set to fly in an erratic left- or right-turning circle or a level, straight line. Sharp-eyed hunters take aim with the infrared gun--the first two hits merely stun the waterfowl, momentarily interrupting his flapping; the third hit downs the duck for good.
I like how it takes three shots to bring it down, that's pretty neat. Not as neat as my cocktail, but that's only because I DON'T DO ICE, HOMEY.
Product Page
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Learn to Aim With Flying Duck Hunt Shooting Game [walyou]
Jul 9 2009 PEW PEW REVIEW: 125mW Green Laser
The folks over at SKYlaser Laser Pointers sent me a 125mW powerful green laser to review. So that's what I did. And let me tell you: there was plenty of pews to be had. That picture I actually made writing with the laser on an 8-foot privacy fence, I just edited the pic of the unit in. Now hit the jump for the pew pew review.
Jun 4 2009 I Want: Turbo Heather XTreme Racedoll
Why didn't we have cool toys like this when I was growing up? I only had one toy. And now I have wolf palm and bottle-cap glasses.
Look out! Here come the Extreme Radio-Controlled Southern Belles! [dvice]
Thanks to whoever sent me this last week, hit me up again and I'll give you a proper what-for.
May 19 2009 Baaaaad Idea: Cheap Terminator Costumes
Just in time for the new movie, Toys-Я-Us is selling $13 T-600 (looks more like a T-6 if you ask me) costumes for children. I mean, it's not even Halloween. You let your kid run around the neighborhood with this thing on and it's game over, man! Wait, that was Aliens. Anyway, the costumes were made to compliment the rest of the crap they're marketing to children under 13 who shouldn't even be allowed to see the movie. Just sayin', my dad took me to see the original Terminator when I was 4. It all makes sense now, doesn't it?
Thanks to Reason, who once killed a T-600 with a laser beam and then called its mother Robo-Cop.
May 18 2009 Highly Questionable: The Infinite Slinky
The Infinite Slinky may look like a belt sander taped to a tissue box, but I don't think that's what it is (that's exactly what it is). The device was created by Geekologie Reader (and Stupid Inventor) Zachary, who obviously grew up in a one story house. Thanks, Zachary, but I think I speak for all of us when I say Log. Just sayin' -- it's big, it's heavy, it's wood. And wood is good. Especially in the morning. Any lady lumberjacks in the house?
Thanks to Zachary, who keeps it stupid.
May 13 2009 Sure, Why Not?: LEGO Rock Band A Reality
Not to be outdone by the announcement of Beatles Rock Band, the game is now coming out in LEGO form. Hooray? It hasn't received a release date yet, but is guaranteed to take future family nights to an all new level as you and yours Patridge Family the shit out of that mother!
* Songs you know and love: Rock out to everything from current radio hits to past favorites the whole family will enjoy.* LEGO-themed rock challenges: Play killer riffs to destroy a giant robot, summon a storm, and demolish a skyscraper using the power of rock!
* Enhanced customizer: Don't stop with your avatar, customize your whole entourage! Design the band, roadies, and manager just the way you want.
Awesome, that sounds not awesome! As much as I do love LEGO and rocking out with my proverbial stratowangcaster out, I just don't know. Of course, the game was designed for children and families so I'm not exactly the target demographic. BUT THEN WHY DO I STILL EAT KID CUISINES? I'm an enigma! Return to Innocence, bitches!
LEGO Rock Band [xbox]
Thanks to Salazar and Alex, who have both gotten with LEGO groupies. Nothing wrong with that guys, I just hope you built yourself some modular plastic protection first.
May 4 2009 Tattooed Barbie: You're No Daughter Of Mine!
Mattel's new 'Totally Stylin' Barbie doll comes with a bunch of sticker tattoos you can apply all over her forehead and neck to make her look way more totally stylin'. Make her a little R2-D2 backpack and that is one fine piece of plastic ass (note to self: verify Barbie's age before using this). Plus, the doll comes with a fake tattoo gun and ink tattoos so your daughters (and sons) can apply tattoos to themselves! Shockingly, some parents aren't cool with the idea.
Barbie-maker Mattel has said the tattooed Barbie provides a way for kids to "be creative" with the doll. Some parents, naturally, see it differently, suggesting that a "Totally Pierced Barbie" or a "Divorce Barbie" could come next.
As for the tattooed Barbie, Mattel says it's selling better than expected and there are no plans to pull it from the product lineup.
Personally, I don't care, but that may just be because I don't have any daughters. No, I'm the proud father of three very handsome boys (woman always on top). Just kidding. But now that you know how they're made, ladies?
Tattooed Barbie Stirs Up Controversy [inquisitr]
and
Amazon Product Page
Thanks to Steven, whose daughters are only allowed to play with G.I. Joe's.
Apr 29 2009 3D Chess Adds Dimension To The Game
Tired of playing plain old chess? 3-way chess just not cutting it for you anymore? How about some 3-D chess? What rolls down stairs, alone or in pairs, rolls over your neighbor's dog? What's great for a snack, and fits on your back, It's 3D CHESS CHESS CHESS! Ooooh snap -- you just got Ren and Stimpy'd! Anyways, this 3D chessboard was designed by Ji Lee and bears an unstriking resemblance to Star Trek Tri-Dimensional Chess. Truthfully, I never even know the rules for chess*, I just like playing with the pieces. Haha -- my castle just stomped one of your guys with the hat! Now it's gonna....WHAT'S YOUR HORSEY DOING ON MY QUEEN?!?
3D Chessboard Is Like Q*bert for Smart People [gizmodo]
*I was kidding for the sake of the article, I'm actually a Grand Dungeon Master.
Mar 26 2009 $$$: Complete Vintage Star Wars Toy Sets
That's a long picture, isn't it? Almost as long as an elephant's trunk, but not quite. You know, I heard if you took this picture, copied 5,000 of them, and then laid them end to end it would circle Uranus. Haha, how do you fit that thing on the john? I kid. But not really.
Anyway, if you want a complete Star Wars figure set (loose) from the original three movies (+ Power of the Force), now you can. Brian's Toys is selling two different sets, one with an AFA grading of 80 ($4,000) and one with 85 ($5,000). You can also get the sets minus Power of the Force for $2,700 and $3,500, respectively. Or, if you offer me enough I'll sell you the set I foolishly gave to my little cousin. "I said I want the toys back! Listen kid, just gimme the figures and I won't tell you you were adopted". *child crying, Geekologie Writer collecting toys* Worked like a charm! Also, I think I screwed him up pretty bad. Do I hear $30?
Product Site
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Complete Vintage Star Wars Action Figure Collection [uncrate]
Thanks to Chuey "The Rock 'n' Roll" Midget, for being small enough to fit in an overhead compartment when we're on tour.
Mar 26 2009 When Dinos Are Packaged Together, I Win
Pfft, that ain't no fail. That, my friends, is a win. A big 'ol Geekologie Writer win. Now who wants to drive me to the toy store?
Packaging Fail [failblog]
Thanks to junkyard dog, who knows quality children's toys when he sees them.
