Oct 5 2009 Delicious Light: DIY Bacon Strip Lampshade
Bacon, perhaps the most versatile tool on the planet (suck it, duct tape!), can be fashioned into just about anything. Including, but not limited to: guns and lube. And what more does a person really need (besides the love of a good woman and maybe a pet)?!
Anyway, Flickr user Kris Kelley went and made a lampshade out of bacon slices and posted a little picture tutorial. And one thing's for certain: I bet it smells divine when it heats up! Plus, 10 to 1 odds your dog eats the whole lamp first you leave the house. Ever seen a dog pass an electric cord? It's something you don't forget.
Thanks to jessica, who gamma radiated a pig in the hopes of creating naturally glowing bacon. Unfortunately, it just turns green and beats the shit out of things when it gets mad.
Jun 8 2009 Stealth Dodge Challenger Built By Air Force
Want to join the Air Force? Look at the picture above. How about now? Still no? Well damn, the Air Force is gonna be pissed -- this was supposed to be a powerful recruitment tool.
The Challenger Vapor features radar-absorbing stealth-black paint, not unlike what is used to mask stealth bombers. The Vapor is set to run almost silently, thanks to "stealth exhaust" - whatever that means. Reminds us of when KITT used to go "Silent Mode" on Knight Rider. You need biometric verification to enter the cockpit via gull wing doors. The driver can view night/thermal vision projections on the windshield while sitting in a compartment that looks like something out of Crimson Tide.
Listen, Air Force, I'm not one to tell somebody how to do their job, but if you want new recruits, you're going about it all wrong. Two words: Free jetpacks. You think about it.
UPDATE: Looks like they also made a Mustang with a jet-like cockpit. Added pics after jump.
Hit the jump for a couple more shots and a short video of the thing.
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May 27 2009 Hmm: Birds As Smart As Monkeys, Toddlers
In an experiment that helps prove some birds are smarter than they'd look in the bottom of a KFC bucket, a British rook was able to make a tool (hook) in order to accomplish a task (score worms). Allegedly, this puts them on par with monkeys and toddlers. But I haven't seen any toddlers making tools. Just stools. Yeah, in their pants. Birds: 1, toddlers: 0.
They were presented with a small bucket of wriggling worms out of reach at the end of a tube, and next to it a piece of straight wire.
Remarkably, despite never having seen the set-up before, they immediately got to work bending the wire so they could hook out the bucket and tuck in.Unlike most animals which learn tricks through trial and error, they solved the problem immediately and, since they were raised in captivity, had no other birds to show them how to do it.
Just what I've been waiting for. Now I'm going to use a flock of rooks to finally rob the local bank. God knows the squirrels couldn't do it. Could you, you stupid tree rats? I swear, one of you spots a nut and you act like it's the first time you showered with daddy.
Hit the jump for a couple more action shots and a video.
Continue Reading " Hmm: Birds As Smart As Monkeys, Toddlers "
Mar 18 2009 Tool Box Must: Multi-Purpose Halligan Rescues Kittens From Burning Buildings And Brains Zombies With Equal Dexterity
The Halligan Bar is a tool used by both fire fighters and rescue workers to bash open doors, pry shit off other shit, and all around beat the hell out of stuff. And now you can own one. The 30" bar is available in alloy steel (10 lbs, $195) and titanium (5.25 lbs, $555) and is a must-have for anybody with any interest in surviving the zombie apocalypse. Just imagine a zombie's head on the end of that thing. Oh I'm sorry, did I just get you excited? Good, meet me in the janitor's closet in five. Now, don't get up as the same time as me, someone might get suspicious. Or, in The Superficial Writer's case, jealous. THERE WAS NO SPARK -- move on already.
Halligan Bar [cooltools]
Thanks to hayden, who once punched a zombie in the mouth so hard all its teeth fell out so hayden gathered them all up and put them under a pillow but the tooth fairy didn't come. What a sham!
Jun 4 2008 Handwrench Is A Real Hand Wrench, But Not A Real Hand, Or A Real Practical Wrench
This is the Handwrench by designer Paul Julius Martus. It's a hand wrench, with a little hand on the end. BWAHAH HA HA HA! Some people, so clever. I'm pretty sure it's just an art piece though, seeing how your little fingers would probably break off if you were trying to bust a real serious nut loose. Still, Paul gets clever points for being clever with the little hand. But I get 2x clever points for that bust a nut thing I said.
Handwrench [notcot]
Thanks Shawn, you wanna come over and help me build a deck?
May 7 2008 I Know What I Want For Mother's Day!
It's this -- Craftsman's 1,470 piece tool set. Actually 10 other different tool sets combined, it includes such hits as the:
300 pc. Professional Tool Set
198 pc. Advanced Essentials Professional Tool Set
189 pc. Specialized Essentials Professional Tool Set
204 pc. Advanced Access Professional Tool Set
106 pc. Advanced Professional Tool Set
89 pc. Specialized Access Professional Tool Set
83 pc. Fully Polished Ratcheting Tool Set
77 pc. Heavy-Duty Mechanics Tool Set
94 pc. Auto Specialty Tool Set
130 pc. Professional Impact Tool Set
Now if you're a woman you're probably thinking to yourself, "You know, I should probably be in the kitchen cooking something". And I wouldn't argue . Kidding ladies! That only applies to my wife. But if you're a guy you're probably thinking, "Is my firstborn son worth the $8,600 pricetag?" And the answer, sadly, is no. You're gonna have to sell the second one too.
Product Page (check it out for more pictures of the individual sets and whatnot)
via
$8,600 Craftsman 1470 piece tool set: your house is doomed [dvice]
Jan 11 2008 ATAX Survival: You're The Last Man Standing
The ATAX Survival Tool was designed by survivalist Ron Wood and has a lot of features that may come in handy if you find yourself the last human on earth (or drunk and lost in the woods).
You can either use it as a knife or lash it to a stick and use it like an axe. The high-carbon steel main blade measures 4-1/2″ with the tool’s overall length coming in at 5-1/2″. With the various metrics laser-etched on the blade, you can tell time (like with a sundial), measure angles, and judge distances. With some slingshot tubing, you can turn the ATAX into an arrow launcher for hunting game. The micarta handle conceals a small storage area for various survival items like matches and twine and MacGyver brand paper clips.
The unit sells for between $150-$200. The only problem I have with the thing is that it's impractical. If everyone else in the world is dead, then chances are there were zombies and/or vampires involved. So this thing should have tools specifically designed for the mass destruction of said beasts. I'd take this survival kit over the ATAX any day. And not just because a gun is included. Okay, mostly because a gun is included. Well that, and a Plexiglass shield.
ATAX Survival Tool [boingboing]
