Jun 23 2009 The Kush: $55 Nighttime Breast Support
The Kush is a $55 (PLUS S&H!) piece of molded plastic women put between their breasts before bed to "gently support and cushion the weight of a woman's breasts". $55, really? For $10 I'll come over and slip my own, much more natural breast supporter between those puppies. Obviously, I'm talking about a rolling pin. Ladies? Come on -- I'll let you make cookies in the morning!
Kush infomercial makes everyone feel good [adfreak]
Thanks to Todd and Jcon, who are selling empty soda cans for $5. But if you're worried your breasts might crush a can, call me.
May 8 2009 Pillow Laptop: Working Never Felt So Zzzzz
This is a pillow that looks like a laptop. It's nonfunctional (as a computer, fully functional as a sleep aid), but soft. I don't even know if they're for sale, but let's be honest, you wouldn't buy one if they were. Oh you would? *yelling down to the basement* Say, it doesn't have to be sweatshop free, does it? Anyway, I think we can all agree this laptop brings new meaning to the phrase, "passing out on your laptop and puking into the keys and then it catching fire and torching your eyebrows off", doesn't it? Well I think it does.
This Is the Best Laptop in the World (Or At Least the Softest) [gizmodo]
Thanks to trishna87, who once fell asleep on a netbook and woke up in a web. Spiderman is an online predator.
Apr 13 2009 For When It's Cold: Sleeping Bag Coats
Lippi Selk'bags cost $125-$150 and look like wearable sleeping bags. Because that's what they are -- sleeping bags that you wear. Any of you lovely ladies interested in sharing one with me? Awesome -- I get it on weekends!
Lippi's Selk'bag is made for mobility, comfort and a more recuperative sleep. Designed and tested in the Andes, the Selk'bag was named in honor of the lost Selk'nam natives of Chile who were known for their ferocity and ability to withstand harsh conditions.
In a recent comparison conducted by Consumer Reports, a Selk'bag actually ripped a Snuggie's sleeves off and defecated down its head hole. Which, you're right, would have made a great commercial.
Sleeping-Bag Suit Makes Snuggies Look Even Wussier [asylum]
Thanks to Stephen, who can endure temperatures down to -40 degrees Celsius because he's inside a tauntaun.
Mar 27 2009 Pillow Blanket: I Need One Like, Last Night
The Pillow Blanket is a blanket made out of interconnecting pillows that looks comfy as all hell. I want one. And not just for the pillow fights you and I could have! No, I would throw myself down on that mother after a long night of drinking and puke to my stomach's content. But not choke on it -- I ain't going out like that! Or am I? I probably am.
Hit the jump for a couple more shots.
Continue Reading " Pillow Blanket: I Need One Like, Last Night "
Mar 18 2009 Where Do I Buy?: Pillows For Working Late
'Pillows for working late' is a three-piece ensemble created by Polish designer Maja Ganszyniec. It comes with a collar, tie and sleeve that are soft and the perfect place to lay your head should you find yourself dozing off at your desk. I don't think you have to be working late to use them. I mean, I just got to work and I can barely keep my eyessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Whoa, I just had a dream I came to work naked. Oh, uh-oh. Think they'll send me home if I run over my penis with an office chair?
'Pillows for working late' makes your desk better than your bed [dvice]
Jan 8 2009 Highly Questionable Yellow Glasses Supposed To Prevent Computer-Related Eye Fatigue
Gunnar glasses ($100 - $189!!!!!!!!!!) come in cleverly named styles like Bit Surfer, Wi-Five and El Doucherino, and are supposed to prevent the eye fatigue caused by blogging eight hours a day. That's right ladies and gentlemen....prepare to experience "Enhanced Computer Vision".
Ever wonder why your eyes get tired after staring at a PC screen for hours? Gunnar says it's because of the LCD screen's cold color temperature. According to these folks, the bluish tints your PC screen displays strains the eyes, you don't blink as much and your eyes don't hydrate.
So the yellow makes your screen look warmer, and as a result you blink more and your eyes don't get tired. Pffft, what nonsense. Your eyes get tired from staring at a computer eight hours a day BECAUSE YOU'RE STARING AT A GODDAMN COMPUTER EIGHT HOURS A DAY. The only things worse for your eyes are reading fine print and staring at the sun. Or getting one pecked out by a parrot. F*CK YES I WEAR MY EYEPATCH WHEN I BLOG!
Dec 26 2008 New Mercedes Feature Alerts Sleepy Drivers
Mercedes, in their unending quest to save the lives of the rich, is installing a new feature in its E class automobiles (sorry, you C class peasants are still f***ed).
Mercedes studied the brain waves of sleepy drivers, and matched those up with lackadaisical steering tendencies, resulting in a car that can sense if you're spacing out.
Attention Assist uses precision sensors on the steering column to watch your attention level, and if you start to fall asleep, it sounds an obnoxious alarm, accompanied by an icon in the middle of the speedometer suggesting that you pause for a cup of coffee.
No word on whether it can distinguish if you're just masturbating.
Mercedes cars now smart enough to wake up drowsy drivers [dvice]
May 14 2008 Another Annoying Alarm Clock To Break
Here at Geekologie we've had no shortage whatsoever of ridiculous alarm clocks that use various annoying methods to get you out of bed and ready for another horrible day of life. But here comes another anyways. When the $40 Puzzle Alarm Clock goes off it launches three puzzle pieces out of the base. You then have to find said pieces and return them to their respective resting places. It sounds like a freaking disaster waiting to happen. I would have that thing smashed to bits before you could say "where's the star piece?" Mostly because I never learned my shapes. That's right -- I was the kid in kindergarten that tried to wedge the square peg into the round hole and glued his head to his cot during naptime. But look at me now -- on top of the freaking world. Okay, maybe just on top of house. I'm gonna jump!
Puzzle Alarm Clock Looks Seriously Infuriating [uberreview]
Apr 8 2008 Nap At Work With The Nappak Sleeping Cube
If there's one thing I hate about going to work, it's the lack of comfortable places to sleep during my afternoon siesta. Enter the Nappak Sleeping Cube. It's an inflatable cubby where you can stretch out and doze to your heart's content. Not exactly a cube, but that's okay. While it certainly is better than napping face down on your keyboard, I have a few other suggestions for great places to sleep at work (based on several years experience).
The trunk of your car
Benefits: Cozy, dark, can add pillows and blankets.
Drawbacks: Getting locked inside. Being rear ended mid-nap.
Bathroom stall
Benefits: Easily accessible, private, can urinate as you nap.
Drawbacks: Gas, bathroom noises, legs falling asleep.
Your boss's desk, with his secretary.
Benefits: Lockable door, someone to spoon, potential to get some (or at least cop a feel).
Drawbacks: Possible sexual harassment case and/or disease. Boss kicking in the door, yelling at you. Termination.
A couple more pictures after the jump.
Continue Reading " Nap At Work With The Nappak Sleeping Cube "
Mar 5 2008 Controller Pillows Guarantee Good Dreams
These 20" x 20" pillows are printed with all your favorite video game controllers and cost $40 apiece. They've even got the new controllers, like the Wiimote. I remember my 3rd grade teacher once told me if you think about something a lot before bed, then you stand a better chance of dreaming about it. So maybe these could aid in dreaming about awesome video games, you never know. What I do know is that sleeping on an open chemistry textbook doesn't mean you'll know all the information when you wake up. Talk about bombing a test. I tried to proposition the teacher for a better grade, but he sent me to the principal's office. I tried to proposition the principal to not suspend me, but he did it anyways. I'm an awful whore.
video game controller pillows: sweet dreams [technabob]
Thanks to Melissa, who I can only hope to dream about at night, for the tip
Feb 26 2008 It's About Freaking Time: Strap-On Chairs
I hate standing. Partly because I'm so portly, but mostly because I bought a pegleg out of the bargain bin at Deadeye Dave's Palace of Prostheses and it chaffs like something fierce. So boy was I excited when I saw these Strap-On Chairs. You strap them on some poor sucker's back or chest, and presto, a comfortable seat. Although I doubt that dude standing in the picture would remain upright for long if I sat in that chair. Of course I never actually would sit in that chair because that would put his privates too close for comfort. The kneeling guy though, I'd sit on that one. His design is better anyways because it's not just a chair, it's transportation.
Feb 15 2008 Eyeball Stickers: No I Wasn't Sleeping!
People (like me) sleep at work, it's a fact. Developing spreadsheets and writing reports is often too daunting a task after a long night of heavy drinking. You need a nap first. To help prevent getting caught sleeping (and the subsequent unemployment) are these eyeball stickers. You simply stick them on your eyelids and sleep away. Be sure to shave off your eyelashes for the full effect. I think this is brilliant. True ingenuity at its finest right here folks. While I don't have the stickers, I'm going to draw some on and see how it goes. I'll update and let you know if it worked.
UPDATE: It didn't. Apparently these aren't as convincing when you're caught under the desk with a pillow and blanket.
Eyelid Stickers Let You Sleep At Work [techeblog]
