Oct 5 2009 Little Family Moves Into A Computer Case

Not a real one, silly! You'd have to have a freaking giant computer (or tiny family) for that to happen. What is this, the 50's? No, cause sexual harassment didn't exist back then. Back me up, Mad Men. I love you, Don! I thought that latest cigarette ad campaign of yours was absolutely great -- really killer. See what I did there?! Killer -- like cigarettes! Hire me Don, I have to be around you!

Hit the jump for two more shots of the dollcase.

Continue Reading " Little Family Moves Into A Computer Case "

Sep 17 2009 Tyrannosaurus Rex Ancestor Was Smaller, More Manageable Size (Read: Swooooon)

Turns out the ferocious T-Rex (who, I would like to mention, is a brutal lover) actually started as a tinier, much more manageable size. OMG -- I'm going to grow them in my roommates closet! Also, weed.

About 125 million years ago a tiny version of Tyrannosaurus rex roamed what is now northeastern China. Tiny, that is, by T. rex standards -- you still wouldn't want to meet it face to face. Described by paleontologist Paul Sereno as "punk size," this early predator stood about nine feet tall.

It just seems small compared to the giant T. rex that evolved millions of years later and was as much as 100 times more massive.

"It really is the blueprint for the later (T. rex) dinosaurs," Sereno said, "it was a blueprint that was scalable."

The Geekologie Writer is currently seeking funding for a dinosaur farm. I will pay both interest and dividends on your investment. If interested, please send non-consecutive, unmarked bills in a Christmas card to:

Thanks, I look forward to taking your money and having sex with dinosaurs doing business with you.
Early, smaller version of T. rex discovered [googlenews]

Thanks to Amanda, Aaron, Kelly, Ryan, Henry, Brent, darkfall13, shawno, Jackie, Ian, Dianne, delinear, Priscilla, Nate, Lynz, CertifiedHobo, Dane, ech0z, Jose, Bethy and e., who I'm totally gonna solicit as babysitters once the operation is underway.

Sep 3 2009 Eeeek, Kill Them!: I-SWARM Robotic Army

Bugs don't scare me. But tiny robots? Tiny robots scare the shit out of me. Just look at those evil bastards ganging up on that defenseless screw. It's sickening.

These tiny (4 millimeters on a side) robots are members of the I-SWARM project, which stands for Intelligent Small-World Autonomous Robots for Micro-manipulation. Each robot is simple, with three legs and a little poker to manipulate stuff with. They're designed to work in large, cheap, mass producible, replaceable groups doing things that insects would be good at... Surveillance, obviously, but they could also do things like clean your house by taking care of one bit of dust each.

No, really, this isn't necessary. If I wanted teeny little robots running around everywhere I would have killed myself and gone to hell. Because that's exactly what it's like. Except they're on fire. And they crawl in your holes.

I-SWARM Micro Robots [botjunkie] (the very thought of which makes me sick)

Thanks to Nick, Michael, MDGrein, Ashley and Skynet (screw you!), who are all cool in my book. Except for Skynet. Skynet should implode.

Aug 19 2009 Is This The New PS3 Slim? (Yes, Yes It Is)

Sorry folks the internette at the hotel was bitchtitting me this morning so I just gave up and came to LaGuardia to post from here. Don't think I forgot about you. I could never. Anyway, I'll post as much as I can before my flight, and Geekologie will return to its regularly scheduled program tomorrow.

Soooooo, this is the new PS3 Slim. The 120GB console will be available the first week in September for a price cutted $299. BUT THAT'S NOT ALL THEY CUT! The unit is 33 percent smaller and 36 percent lighter than its chubs predecessor. So what does this mean for you? It'll be easier to lose. Hell, I even thought the original PS3 was too small to keep track of. WHICH IS WHY I GLUED IT TO THE COUCH.

Sony Announces Slim PS3 - It Lives This September! [kotaku]

Thanks to Mr. Tiddles, catch22, Nate and The Superficial Writer, who tape their consoles to cinder blocks. Hey, that works too.

Aug 18 2009 I See You, Little Stuff!: A USB Microscope

Hey guys I'm getting kicked out my hotel (which is fine because it's a shithole and caught fire yesterday) so I have to relocate. I'll be back this afternoon with more posts though, I promise. In the meantime, here's a $130 USB powered microscope.

This week e-Supply Japan announced the EEA-MAN1011, an digital USB microscope to use with a PC. It's powered by a 2Mpix censor manufactured in by Sanyo Japan with a 5x to 150x zoom.

Oh man, I want one. Remember the first time you ever looked at something under a microscope? What was it? Mine was a scab. And no, I didn't eat it afterwards. It's not eating if you swallow something whole!

e-Supply Japan's New USB Microscope [akihabaranews]

Thanks to naas, who once looked at a fingernail clipping under a microscope and never bit his nails again.

Jul 29 2009 Pie Suckers: I Could Probably Eat A Million

Pie suckers are exactly what they sound like: a race of aliens that come down and suck people's pies out of their kitchen windows while they're cooling. No I don't look at pictures or read stuff, I just post! I'm a posting machine. BUT DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME A ROBOT OR I WILL BEEP BOOP BOP YOUR FACE IN! Okay, I looked at the picture. Are you happy now? Pie suckers are actually miniature pies on sticks, officially making them the most brilliant things I've ever heard of (move over Pop Tarts!). I just ate like four hundred of them with the sticks. Now my tummy hurts. What are you waiting for -- PUNCH ME IN THE GUT, YOU SISSY!

Artisticly Delicious - Pie Suckers [writhem]

Thanks to Michael, who better have a case of these in the mail to me. OR ELSE. Or else somebody else is gonna have to make me some. Anybody? Notice how I said anybody instead of ladies? I really wanted to say ladies BUT I AM TURNING OVER A NEW, MORE SENSITIVE CRUST. Womens?

Jun 30 2009 It's Itsy Bitsy!: Tiny Drill Is Tiny

This is a super tiny drill. It is the opposite of this drill. If these two drills were siblings, this one would be Danny Devito in Twins. But it does actually work (video HERE). Now I have no idea what in the hell you'd use such a tiny drill for, but if I had to guess, I'd go with dollhouse repairs. You hear that, Ken? *sobbing* THIS DREAMHOUSE IS IN SHAMBLES!

Micro Power Drill [bookofjoe]

Thanks to naas, whose drill is not much bigger. Burn? BURN!

Jun 9 2009 USB Microwave Is World's Smallest, For Beans

The Heinz Beanzawave is being billed as the world's smallest microwave and measures a scant 7.4 inches tall by 6.2 inches wide and 5.9 inches deep. It's equally suited for heating a can of beans/soup at your desk or frying your nuts so you can't have children.

The mini microwave is being developed as a partner to Heinz Snap Pots, baked beans in single-serving containers. The Snap Pots, available in the U.K., fit perfectly into the Beanzawave. But the $160 device will only be released commercially if consumer feedback is positive and if component prices drop in the near future.

Well you can count me on board. I'M ON A BOAT! Just kidding, I wish I was though. No, right now I'm just laying in bed topless braiding my penises. Now where'd I put that scrunchie?

Beanzawave: The World's Smallest Microwave [fastcompany]

Thanks to scottsc, who cooks his beans at work the old fashioned way: on a campfire in the boardroom.

May 30 2009 Own Your Very Own (Miniature) Bat Signal

Want your own miniature bat signal? Now's your chance -- a limited edition of 500 are being sold for $260 from Entertainment Earth.

The miniature replica Bat-Signal features a sturdy metal construction and stands about 12-inches tall. It's got a built-in cooling fan and can be swiveled and tilted to give you the best shot at making contact with the Dark Knight. Of course, since the light can only project the Bat symbol about 16-feet, don't expect him to show, unless he happens to live in your bedroom closet.

Now I'm not saying you should cut a bat out of black contact paper and slap it on a pre-existing lamp, but, I mean, recession. $4 bat signal: 1, $260 bat signal: 3. Wait a minute -- 3? Damn you, style points!

desktop bat-signal hails bugs not bats [technabob]

May 26 2009 13,500 Pages Of Data Etched On A 3" Disk

The Rosetta Disk is a 3" nickel disk that has been etched with over 13,500 pages of information on how to read and understand the world's languages in case aliens get tired of sticking things up our butts and want to get their learn on. It represents over 1,500 languages and requires a 500x microscope to read a single page. You hear that, aliens -- don't forget your microscopes (read: leave the probes at home).

Hit the jump for a close-up that isn't close enough.

Continue Reading " 13,500 Pages Of Data Etched On A 3" Disk "

May 16 2009 What The World's Smallest Car Looks Like

This is what the world's smallest (but not the lowest) street-legal car looks like. Because this is the world's smallest street-legal car. I don't know if you understand logic, but my argument is infallible. The car, which measures a scant 39" high x 26" wide, is allegedly twice as small as the last record holder.

Car modder Perry Watkins took the frame of the "Postman Pat" children's ride and mounted it on a quad mini-bike, using its 150cc engine. The car features a windshield wiper, lights and signals, mirrors, and even a Pimp My Ride-worthy paint job and fake racing exhaust pipes. The car, christened "The Wind-Up," can hit 40 miles per hour in what we're sure is an incredibly uncomfortable and scary ride.

Good looking, Perry. And you know what they say about guys who drive really small cars don't you? Serious neck and back problems. Kidding, kidding -- monster junk.

Hit the jump for a short video about the build and some driving footage.

Continue Reading " What The World's Smallest Car Looks Like "

May 14 2009 Awh, How Cute: A Little LEGO Nintendo

This is a little Nintendo Flickr user Arkov made using LEGO pieces. As you can see, it's fairly simple. I didn't actually bother counting the number of blocks it took, but given a quick glance, I'd estimate somewhere in the six to eight range. Few enough for even you to be able to make one. Just kidding, you'd probably end up eating all the pieces. Which.....HEY, PUT THAT HELMET BACK ON! Your mother would kill me if she came home and saw you without your -- WHERE DID YOU GET THOSE SCISSORS?!?

Hit the jump for some sexy closeups.

Continue Reading " Awh, How Cute: A Little LEGO Nintendo "

Apr 29 2009 Spellbound Apprentice Casts Off Wizard Hat And Robe, Gets Tazed By The Po-diddly

NSFW VIDEO IS NSFW DUE TO THE WORLD'S SMALLEST PENIS.

This is a video from Coachella of a wizard who refuses to put his hat and robe back on (you're doing it wrong!) and instead waves his minuscule penis around like Harry Potter trying to cast a spell of sadness on anyone foolish enough to look.

"It doesn't have to stop," the Naked Wizard says.

"I'll tell you what," the cop says. "You can have a great time -- but you can have an even better time if you put your clothes on...Can I get them for you?"

The officer grabs the gown and tosses to the Naked Wizard, but he casts it away again. Then the cops put on their rubber gloves, and things get ugly.

You really can't help but feel sorry for the guy. But, on the upside, this video should make you feel good about your own magic stick. So make sure to watch the video with your significant other while pointing at the dude's nubbin and telling them to be thankful. I swear, a naked wizard on drugs with the world's smallest penis getting tasered by the diddly -- is today my birthday or what?

Naked Wizard Taser Brawl At Coachella [huffingtonpost]

Thanks to A-lice in Wonderland and chainsawarms, who both noted the magician's wand was probably too small to cast any real dangerous spells.

Mar 13 2009 Vroom Vroom: Pow-Pow-POWER WHEELS!

This is a video of some folks riding over-powered Power Wheels. It looks like they're having about as much fun as one can have in the snow without a Woolly Mammoth. Which, I am happy to announce, is like *this close* to being cloned. Suffice it to say SOMEBODY has been loading up on Trojan Magnums -- and I think it's you!

Over-Powered Power Wheels [liveleak]

Thanks to Julian, who drove his Power Wheels right into a telephone pole and lived to come back and cut the pole down with a chainsaw.

Mar 11 2009 New iPod Shuffle Speaks, Lacks Wheel

The new iPod Shuffle's capacity has been doubled to 4GB, and now the minuscule music player doesn't have a control wheel. But how will you ever reign over your music? Simple -- with controls on the earbud cord. WHEE!

The new design keeps the clip and adds VoiceOver -- a new feature that gets around the lack of display by telling you which song is playing and who performs it at the touch of a button on the earbud cable. It'll also call out your playlists and let you navigate to others. Available in black or silver for $80 and your claim to what Apple calls the "world's smallest music player."

World's smallest music player my ass. I happen to own the world's smallest music player. It's a violin. *rubbing fingers together* Can you hear that? It's the REAL world's smallest music player playing "Iron Man" by Black Sabbath. Bitchin'!

Five minute promotional video about the new Shuffle after the jump.

Continue Reading " New iPod Shuffle Speaks, Lacks Wheel "

Mar 5 2009 Little Moon Spotted Hiding In Saturn's Rings

Saturn, the second largest moon-whore in the solar system (behind Jupiter), has been caught hiding another trick in one of it's outer rings. What a slut!

The discovery of what appeared to astronomers as a faint, moving pinprick of light, was announced by the International Astronomical Union.

The international Cassini spacecraft spotted the small moon, which measures about a third of a mile wide.

Pfft -- 1/3 mile wide? That ain't no moon. That ain't even a moonlet. That, my friends, is a moonatoid. Come get some, Pluto!

'Moonlet' Found in Outer Saturn Ring [discovery]

Thanks to tarastars, who once stole a moon from Neptune and sold it at a yard sale to buy a video game.

Feb 12 2009 The Universe Is Apparently A Big Metal Donut

And all along I thought was a little plastic danish. Shows you how much I know (read: everything). So yeah, ghost of Karl Sagan: I know you're reading this, feel free to chime in and back me up whenever you want.

At first, this polished object looks like an ordinary ring. But it's much more than that. This is a model of the universe, which, according to one increasingly popular theory, is not flat, circular, spherical or saddle-shaped, but more like a "3-torus," or doughnut shape. It's also a whole lot bigger then you may have imagined.

Look closer, and you'll notice a minuscule speck on this model. It looks like a tiny flaw at first, but upon closer inspection, you'll see it's a precise wine glass shape. That's us. The tiny area depicts the known universe, showing a timeline of its entire life, from the Big Bang starting at the glass's stem, expanding to where we live today.

I get it -- so what they're saying is that the known universe is a wine lover. So do you think it's a Merlot fan or more of a Chardonnay kind of universe? Mad Dog 20/20, huh? Awh yeah, I knew I was living here for good reason! Now stop hogging the bottle, Universe, Jesus you're a boozehound.

Mind-boggling model of the doughnut-shaped universe makes you feel really small [dvice]

Nov 19 2008 Furbies Not Extinct After All, Still Delicious

Pygmy Tarsiers, now to be referred to only by their scientific name Uglyas Shite, were once thought to be extinct. Well think again!

Pygmy tarsiers rank among the rarest of the many tarsier species in Asia and the Pacific -- and in fact some primatologists had written them off as extinct.

They have the distinctive, big-eyed look often associated with Furbys, gremlin-like talking toys that were popular in the late 1990s. Compared with the robotic Furbys, however, the real animals' dimensions are seriously downsized: They typically measure less than 4 inches (105 mm) from head to tail, with most of that length being tail. They weigh less than 2 ounces. And unlike Furbys, they hardly ever vocalize.

That thing does not look like a Furby. It looks like an alien with hair. And miniature human hands. ;) Can I get an amen? Anybody? Okay, how about a high five? Geez, what's with you people today? Well how about one of you club me in the back of the head and th

UPDATE: Ugh, my brain feels mushy. How long was I out for? Thanks a lot whoever you were, I should have known somebody would jump at the chance to brain the poor Geekologie Writer. Oh -- and who said anything about teabagging? I taste hair.

Real-life Furbys rediscovered [msnbc]

Thanks to Furbalicious, Chris, Kathryn, and Kevin, who, for the tips, each receive a coupon for a free pygmy tarsier. Try them with BBQ!

Oct 23 2008 Cool!: The World's Smallest Writing

Japanese scientists have written the world's smallest letters using only a handful of atoms.

a research team at Osaka University has "written" the letters "Si" using an atomic pen that interchanges silicon and tin atoms, enabling those who have the time, resources, and patience to manipulate said atoms one by one. The results are a diminutive 2 x 2 nm (or 40,000 times smaller than a strand of hair) which took about an hour and a half to complete.

That's impressive and all, but I once had an Asian lady write my whole name on a grain of rice at the mall. Suck on that one, scientists!

Atomic pen achieves invisible victory [engadget]

Thanks to mkaggie, who can actually write with individual electrons.

Jun 27 2008 Little Origami Crane Constructed Using The Ultra Precise Da Vinci Surgical Robot

This is a video of a Japanese surgeon using the Da Vinci Surgical Robot to construct a little origami crane. I had no idea Leonardo had robotic hands, but like my dad always says, "Son, you're a freaking idiot." The feat is all the more spectacular when you see the size of the crane at the end -- it's only as big as a penny! Fly on, little origami crane, fly on. I don't know about you, but I think this Da Vinci robot is really gonna revolutionize origami implants.

Youtube

Thanks Shuck from Germany, say -- if I come over there you think I could sleep on your floor? Maybe drink some of your beer?