Aug 17 2009 British Government Releases UFO Files

The British government, in an attempt to cleanse its fish and chip stained hands, has released previously confidential documents regarding little green men who come to stick things in your butt while you're sleeping (elves).

The National Archives on Monday released the government's complete file on the "Rendlesham Forest Incident" of December 1980, one of Britain's most famous UFO sightings.

Halt reported that two servicemen had noticed "unusual lights" about 3 a.m. in the woods outside the gates of RAF Woodbridge, a U.S. base in eastern England. He wrote that patrolmen sent to investigate saw "a strange glowing object" in the forest.

The metallic, triangular object "illuminated the entire forest with a white light," he wrote.

The next day, investigators found depressions in the ground and unusual radiation readings. That night many personnel -- including Halt himself -- saw a pulsing "red sun-like light" in the trees that broke into five white objects and disappeared.

I mean, is it not common knowledge by now that aliens exist. Because if they didn't, where did *rummaging around in ass* THIS come from?!? And no, this isn't just a television antennae with aluminum foil wrapped around it. Okay, so maybe it is. Still, there's something else in there, I can feel it...
...
...
...a dinosaur toy -- I've been looking for that!

Britain publishes more UFO files, but few answers [yahoonews]

Thanks to Brad, who once slept with an alien chick and didn't even bother phoning her home the next day. Bad form, Brad.

Jun 11 2008 Romanian Fighter Jet Gets Hit By UFOs, Aliens Arrested For Flying Under The Influence

On October 31st, 2007 a Romanian Mig 21 Lancer was struck by not one but four UFOs and the government has now released footage of said incident. As can be unclearly seen in the untranslated video at 0:49 and 1:16, the aliens were flying what appear to be the black smoke from Lost when they hit the plane. Afterwards, the pilot was able to land the aircraft without incident.

Lt. Col. Nicolae Grigorie said a video recorded by cameras onboard the plane depicts "two solid bodies, which are not translucid." Grigorie said authorities are working to determine what the objects could have been. "They couldn't be birds because there are no birds in Europe able to fly so high. And they couldn't be ice bodies because it was a clear sky -- neither could they be pieces of another plane or a meteor," he said.

He said the government has ruled out rocket launches and ground artillery fires as causes of the incident.

When asked what he thought the objects were, Grigorie exclaimed, "F***ing aliens, yo! Tape your buttcheeks together before bed, the wonk eyed bastards are coming!"

UFOs hit Romanian plane [upi]

Thanks Mikal, I'm now officially adding aliens to my apocalyptic fears

May 30 2008 UPDATE: Alien Video To Be Shown To Media Today, Now With Frame Grab From Video

You may have heard of Jeff Peckman, he's that lunatic in the picture (looking even spacier than the father of LSD) that's trying to get Denver to put together an Extraterrestrial Affairs Commission to deal with alien encounters and the subsequent probings. Well now he's convinced he has video footage of a real-life alien that proves their existence. The video will be shown to the media today, but is not allowed to be filmed, as it's part of a documentary set for public release next month.

An instructor at the Colorado Film School in Denver scrutinized the video "very carefully" and determined it was authentic, Peckman said.

Peckman, 54, said the video was among the reasons he was "compelled" to launch the proposed ballot initiative, which has generated news as far as South Africa.

"It shows an extraterrestrial's head popping up outside of a window at night, looking in the window, that's visible through an infrared camera," he said. The alien is about 4 feet tall and can be seen blinking, Peckman said earlier this month.

Way to try to sell some shitty alien documentary guys, but I'm not falling for it. Listen -- I know the easy thing to do when you wake up in the morning with a tender ass is to blame aliens, but sometimes you need to man up and admit there IS a possibility that you got too drunk and told your girlfriend to stick something up there. I'm just saying, it happens.

UPDATE: Frame grab picture that was handed out to the media added after the jump.

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