Jul 14 2009 Good Enough To Eat?: Darth Vader Chops
Andreas Heim, of Denmark, opened a pack of lamb chops earlier this month and, HELLO, DARK SIDE VADER CHOPS! I don't know about you, but I would eat the hell out of that thing. Although, to be honest, I would eat the hell out of unmasked Vader chops. Which are actually shriveled turnips. Admit it -- I'm not the only one who wanted to lick that head!
Se, en Darth Vader-kotelett! [vg]
Thanks to Oiva and Occasional reader, who once shared a tauntaun shaped pork chop.
May 14 2009 How To Quit: The Best Resignation EVER
Now you see folks, THAT is how you quit a job. Remember: the goal whenever leaving an organization is to ensure it crumbles behind you as you walk out the door. So, at that very moment, your employer realizes just how under-appreciated you were. And then is crushed under the rubble.
Hit the jump for three more resignations, which were all part of Cracked's 'I Quit' Photoshop contest.
May 8 2009 Brotherly Hate: Now With More Lightsaber!
This kid is pure evil -- just look at him. If evil were a Tetris level on Game Boy, this kid would be a 20. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be surprised if, in a few years, I heard he'd brought a lightsaber to school in his backpack.
Thanks to Romeo, who once broke his thumb shooting ping pong balls out of his mouth at his babysitter. Just kidding, that was me.
May 6 2009 Another Day, Another Star Wars Wedding
Duncan Thomson, 41, and Sammi Gardiner, 39, just got married on Star Wars Day in a Star Wars themed ceremony. And you know what they say about a couple that Star Warses together: they, uh, probably go to conventions and collect action figures?
During the wedding, Mr Thomson told his bride: "I promise to protect you from carbon freezing and promise to protect you from the Dark Side, through hyperspace and into the far reaches of the galaxy."
The couple had to remove certain Star Wars references from the 20-minute civil service because "Jedi" is a recognised religion, he added.The bride's ring was made out of meteorite found in Canyon Diablo in the US, engraved with: "May the 4th be with you."
The couple, from the Isle of Wight, even invited the movie's director George Lucas, who wrote back to them saying he was unable to attend.
Oh really, George was 'unable to attend', huh? Do you think he was really unable or just TOO BUSY BEING A GIANT DICK AND TURNING HIS BACK ON HIS FANS. *flicking George the bird* You see this, George -- this one's for you. Yeah, and this ain't no regular bird either -- that's a Millennium Falcon, bitch!
Star Wars inspires couple's bizarre sci-fi wedding [telegraph]
Thanks to Tiago, who plans to marry in a Geekologie-themed wedding. Nice, Tiago, but NO ROBOTS.
Apr 17 2009 Scotland Police Department Heavy On Jedis
Strathclyde Police, Scotland's largest police force, says eight of its officers (and two of its civilian staff) listed Jedi as their official religion on voluntary diversity forms, making them the least feared police force ever.
The details were obtained in a Freedom of Information request by Jane's Police Review.
About 390,000 people listed their religion as Jedi in the 2001 Census for England and Wales. In Scotland the figure was a reported 14,000.The Office for National Statistics did not recognise it as a separate category, and incorporated followers of Jedi with atheists.
Wow, do you think the officers mod their billy clubs to look like lightsabers? Because that would be awesome. And by awesome I mean incredibly sad.
Force is strong for Jedi police [bbcnews]
Thanks to Thumperchica, debaser, Liz, Lee, Patrick and Annie, who once Force-choked a thief till he turned to the Dark Side (blacked out).
Feb 24 2009 Okay, Sure: A Golden AT-AT iPod Dock
Not to be outdone by yesterday's AT-AT boombox, some cat went and made an AT-AT iPod dock. Which is basically an AT-AT toy with an electronic turntable glued to the side and spray painted gold. Neat. Might be just the thing I need to add a little geeky flair to my bedroom. Just saying, I made buttermilk pancakes for breakfast. With sprinkles, bitches. Who's gangster?
Hit the jump for two closeups.
Dec 26 2008 He's Going All The Way!: Star Wars Jerseys
I'm not saying wearing a $110 Star Wars themed sports jersey is going to hinder my chances of rounding third base and heading home with a female, but it might. And let's face it, I need all the help I can get. But just in case -- ladies? Who wants to do it while I wear a Jedi jersey? Any takers? No? Okay, fine, any givers? Hey, I'm down to experiment -- after all, I am *lighting Bunsen burner for mood lighting* a sexual scientist.
Aaaaand there went my eyebrows.
Hit the jump to see basketball, football and hockey jerseys.
Continue Reading " He's Going All The Way!: Star Wars Jerseys "
Jul 10 2008 Limited Edition Star Wars Adidas Shoes
This is the first I'd heard about the limited edition Star Wars x Adidas Super Stars sneakers (do people still say sneakers? I do) but apparently they came out a couple months ago and were limited to 800 pairs per side of the force (that's 800 dark side, 800 light side). So they're probably already snatched up. I looked on eBay and nada. So, yeah, I guess I'm gonna have to write a couple threatening letters to Adidas to send me a pair.
Great attention to detail was taken by Adidas for these sneakers. The "Yoda" Super Stars feature a hemp upper much like something the Jedi Master wore on his home planet of Dagobah. In addition to the good choice of colors and materials, Adidas also covered the lace tips in the neon green color of Yoda's lightsaber. The "Darth Vader" Super Stars takes inspiration from the characters mask. The parallel lines on the side are like that covering Vader's mouth and the black patent leather to represent the glossy finish. Again Adidas finished off the kicks with red lace tips to match Vader's lightsaber.
Okay, so I just found a place that had been selling them (sold out now) for $275. Which, around here, is the same price as 11 mediocre lap dances (22 on buy one get one free night). And, honestly, which would feel better on your weary soles(!)? The prosecution rests.
Hit the jump for a ton more pictures of both the Vader and Yoda models.
Jun 16 2008 Graffitified AT-AT Up On The Auction Block
Remember that awesomely awesome decrepit looking AT-AT that won some model contest? Yeah, that thing was awesome. And you might think this one is too depending on how you feel about an AT-AT that's had the hell tagged out of it.
SuckadelicGraff-At, 2002
Customized Hasbro Star Wars vehicle customized by professional Graffiti artists EASE and JK5 under the direction of SUCKADELIC. All tags are written in the Aurebesh language, a fictional letter system created for the in-world use for the 6 Star Wars films. The largest tag on the side of the vehicle spells the word REBEL. 16x18in.
The auction is expected to fetch between $1,500 and $2,000 but I have no idea what the bidding starts at. But if I had to guess I'd say right around Hoth. Get it? Because that's where the big AT-AT fight scene is in The Empire Strikes Back. Now laugh or the tauntaun gets it.
Thanks Chatham, let's outbid whoever wants it really bad and then break it in front of them
Feb 12 2008 Take A Peek Inside Darth Vader's Helmet
Apparently they have Darth Vader's helmet on display in the Star Wars exhibit at the Franklin Institute Science Museum I mentioned in last week's Yoda cookie post. So here it is. I'm glad there are pictures of it because I didn't remember it too well from the movie. Sure I can recall the part in Return of the Jedi when Luke takes it off and all, but I was too enamored with the dried and misshapen turnip that was Darth Vader's head to notice anything about the helmet. You remember that head? It looked awful -- kind of like a conehead, but with serious dents and scars. That shit kept me from sleeping for days. And I still won't eat turnips.
Several more shots of Vader's helmet, including a nice interior view, after the jump. I also included one of his busted-ass head, in case you forgot what it looks like.
Continue Reading " Take A Peek Inside Darth Vader's Helmet "
