May 8 2009 Man Builds Scrap Massage Chair For Wife

Lin Shuseng, too cheap to buy his wife one of those $4 battery operated personal massagers (or one of the more expensive ones that looks like a wand that women use to, you know, stir the soup), decided instead to spend 8 years building her a scrap metal massage chair to soothe her painful joints (she suffered in the meantime). Wow, Lin, that's real love right there. Also, the chair from Saw. OMG YOU'RE GOING TO KILL HER!

Chinese retiree uses scrap to create steampunk robo-massage chair [dvice]

Apr 30 2009 Highly Questionable, Volatile: Robot Milk

I have no idea what the hell robot milk is (likely poison), but it looks thicker than the BBW in my fetish mag. Also, how the hell does one go about procuring robot milk? Because if it's anything like milking a bull, the The Superficial Writer wants in.

Robot Milk [friggingrandom]

Thanks to Bo, who once milked a goat and then made goat cheese and sold it at a farmer's market. Good looking, Bo.

Apr 27 2009 Scary: These Crazy 'Animal Leg' Extensions

Personally, my regular legs are just fine. They reach the pedals in my car, walk me from said car into seedy strip joints, and kick the living shit out of oak trees. But for some people that's not enough, they want animal-like legs. These people are sickos.

These "digitigrade leg extensions" are the work of Seattle-based sculptor Kim Graham. Essentially a fancy pair of stilts, the legs mimic digitigrades (animals including horses that bear weight on their toes).

The video shows the legs in their natural, metallic finish, as well as dressed up in some fur. Which, I'll admit, was rather disturbing. Throw on a bearskin rug and TA-DA, you're that pedophilic creep Mr. Tumnus from that book about a talking panther in your closet.

Bionic Animal Legs Are Built For Theater and/or Enchanted Woodlands [gizmodo]

Mar 2 2009 I'd Rather Just Die: Alleged 'Rescue' Robot

This rescue robot, the red-headed stepsister of this beast, was designed to rescue humans from areas firemen can't easily access.

Apparently, the seemingly unnamed robot can not only carry a 110 kilogram person over difficult terrain with ease, but monitor the occupant's vital signs as well, although complete details on that, and any other technical details are a bit hard to come by at the moment. As with most such robots, however, this one's apparently not completely autonomous, with it packing some infrared cameras to allow its operator to locate folks even in conditions with poor visability.

Maybe it's just me, but I'd rather die by fire or crushing than crawl into this thing's belly. Because God knows what it's gonna do to you once you're in there. Tell me -- you think it's just a coincidence it's human-carrying drawer looks like one at the morgue? No, it's not. Seriously though, props to the guy that posed for the picture. You see where guy's got his hands there? He's shielding the photographer from his balls. Uranium alloy.

Yokohama fire department enlists robotic crawler to aid evacuations [engadget]

Thanks to ksam84 and Mark, who threw a mannequin packed full of C4 into the remains of a demolished building in the hope of luring one of these beasts to its death.

Nov 7 2008 Thanks But No Thanks (I Value My Ass): Honda's Assisted Walking Device

Honda's taking another stab at the growing assisted walking market (that's a market!?), this time with what appears to be a robot that hides between your legs and pokes you in the genitals.

The device will supporting a portion of user's body weight whether they're crouching, walking or climbing stairs and is meant to help both those physically weakened with age or injury as well as workers who would need to reduce the stress on their bodies from heavy work or unusual positions.

The device will support users within two inches of its preset 5-foot, 7-inch user height. The entire system, including its lithium ion battery and shoes, weighs 14.3lbs, and uses two electric motors to assist users' leg movement for up to two hours before a re-charge is required.

Interesting, but I'm going to have pass. You see, I accidentally violated myself with a pogo stick once, and ever since, well, I just couldn't imagine ever cheating on it. I heart you Springy!

Hit the jump for another picture of the barebones device, along with a video of the piece in action.

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