Sep 22 2009 Toy Teaches Children About Life And Death
Now I'm not saying this is the best way to explain to your daughter what happened to Mr. Fluffernutter, I'm just saying I can't think of a better one. Your parents: be thankful I'm not one of them. EXCEPT I TOTALLY AM. Your other father and I made you!
Thanks to Yopoleo, who made has never run over anything but the time limit when giving an acceptance speech.
Sep 15 2009 Are You Out Of Your Damn Mind? Alternatively: Oh Helllllllll No: A Needle Wielding, Blood Sucking Robot
Can you count the number of things wrong in the picture above? If you answered, "every single one", congratulations, you are correct. You see, Bloodbot is a robot designed to stab you with a needle. And I think we can all agree: that is exactly NOT what Jesus would do.
The robot consists of an arm with a needle and a probe. In order to find an accessible vein, the robot probes around your arm until it finds an area of flesh that is a little bit less squishy than the rest. Then it jabs you with a needle, and when it feels a little pop indicating that it's punched through into a vein, it knows to stop the jabbage, lest it go right through the other side of your vein, out the back of your arm, and into your femoral artery, causing a massive amount of hemorrhaging that will no doubt kill you in minutes.
So far, the robot is accurate about 78% of the time.
Hell no. Helllllllllll no. I don't care if it's accurate 110% of the time, no robot is getting anywhere near these precious, alcohol filled veins with a needle. I'd rather stab myself in the heart with a cannonball. And not just because I'm a pirate, but I do love booty. Seriously -- back that thang up, wench!
Bloodbot Stabs You Like A Pro [botjunkie]
Thanks to Spikey DaPikey and qix, who once stabbed a pair of robots in the eyes with syringes full of acid and made them melt from the inside out. Nice, guys, I like your style.
Aug 10 2009 Bad Idea: Creepy Surgical Masks For Dentists
How would you like that nightmare standing above you with a drill in its hand? You wouldn't, would you? My gums are bleeding just thinking about it.
Clever surgical masks with funny cartoon mouths were sent to dentists in Hamburg, Germany. The goal was to lighten up a visit to the dentist for the kids and everyone else, as well as to promote Colgate Smiles Kids toothbrushes.
Honestly, I'd rather knock all my teeth out with a cinderblock than face a dentist wearing a mask like that AND I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH NITROUS YOU GIVE ME. I'll tell you what, give me a take-home tank and you've got a deal. Okay now I -- I have two fingers.
Hit the jump for several more shots of a terrible idea.
Continue Reading " Bad Idea: Creepy Surgical Masks For Dentists "
Jul 3 2009 Anti-Paparazzi Bag Flashes Bulb, Not Privates
Some guy named Adam Harvey designed an anti-paparazzi purse that, when the flashbulbs of the photogs go off, immediately flashes it's own bulb back, ruining their pictures and effectively protecting your privates from showing up on TheSuperficial. Obviously, it's a terrible idea. Terribly terrible. Right up there with the current public decency laws. IT'S HOT OUTSIDE, GIMME A BREAK. Also, a rub-down with that lotion ;). SP my F.
Anti-paparazzi device flashes lewd photographers right back [dvice]
Thanks to FDSY, whose anti-paparazzi device looks a lot more like a sock full of quarters.
Apr 1 2009 Shii, The Controversial Wii For Her
This is a foreign commercial for the Shii, a Wii for her. It's wrong on every level and the games are all super-sexist. Which I 100% don't approve of, except for the cooking and cleaning ones, which seemed alright. Oh, and the last one. But besides those it's an awful concept. And sexist. Which, again, I don't approve of. Ladies?
Shii : enfin une Wii pour les femmes! [dailymotion]
Thanks to VS, who once threw a Wiimote through the glass ceiling.
