Sep 30 2009 OMG, It's Got A Bomb!: The Terrorist Teapot
Damn yeah two food related posts in a row. HUNGER CAN'T HOLD ME DOWN! Know what I'm sayin'? Jesus, I hope somebody does. Just one person even. I'm so tired of feeling alone. Anyway, a $39 terrorist teapot: the queen would not approve.
Think teapots are outdated and belong in your grandmother's kitchen? Think again. The Terrorist Teapot takes a threatening stance against anyone trying to mess with your perfectly brewed tea with a tea cosy that doubles as a balaclava. We can think of other uses for it... but you should probably reserve it for keeping the pot warm.
Personally, I love a spot of tea in the afternoon. And by tea I mean tea in the Jack Kerouac On The Road sense. I'm talking weed, damnit. Except I don't really smoke that shit because my mom is probably reading this (but I do so somebody get me high). Ha, what do you mean parents can read between parenthesis? LIES!
Thanks to Guido B, who enjoys his tea with a side of "it fell off tha back of a truck".
Aug 27 2009 Stripteas Teabags Aren't What You Think
Unless you thought they were teabags that cling to the side of your teacup via paper stripper, in which case, congratulations, you were correct. Unfortunately, unlike those novelty pens that showcase a naked women when you turn them upside down, you don't get to see any privates. Which is actually fine with me CAUSE I DON'T WANT NO MAN'S JUNK IN MY TEA ANYWAYS. Except you, Earl Grey.
Super sexy tea bags [newlaunches]
Thanks to Tim and sergei, who never miss tea time because they like to put on their big hats and be dainty.
Aug 12 2009 Kettle Plays Song Instead Of Just Whistling
The Musical Kettle, designed by Naoki Kawamoto, has some sort of electronically controlled flute attachment that allows the device to play a song instead of just a boring whistle when the water is boiling. Now, are you thinking what I'm thinking? If you answered, "rocking out with your teabags out to some Jethro Tull", you are. HEY AQUALUNG!
Nov 19 2008 Furbies Not Extinct After All, Still Delicious
Pygmy Tarsiers, now to be referred to only by their scientific name Uglyas Shite, were once thought to be extinct. Well think again!
Pygmy tarsiers rank among the rarest of the many tarsier species in Asia and the Pacific -- and in fact some primatologists had written them off as extinct.They have the distinctive, big-eyed look often associated with Furbys, gremlin-like talking toys that were popular in the late 1990s. Compared with the robotic Furbys, however, the real animals' dimensions are seriously downsized: They typically measure less than 4 inches (105 mm) from head to tail, with most of that length being tail. They weigh less than 2 ounces. And unlike Furbys, they hardly ever vocalize.
That thing does not look like a Furby. It looks like an alien with hair. And miniature human hands. ;) Can I get an amen? Anybody? Okay, how about a high five? Geez, what's with you people today? Well how about one of you club me in the back of the head and th
UPDATE: Ugh, my brain feels mushy. How long was I out for? Thanks a lot whoever you were, I should have known somebody would jump at the chance to brain the poor Geekologie Writer. Oh -- and who said anything about teabagging? I taste hair.
Real-life Furbys rediscovered [msnbc]
Thanks to Furbalicious, Chris, Kathryn, and Kevin, who, for the tips, each receive a coupon for a free pygmy tarsier. Try them with BBQ!
Jun 5 2008 Self-Stirring Coffee Mug For The Fingerless
Are you a lazy bastard or a shop teacher that's had ten accidents? If so, this self stirring mug may be for you. The mugs are made by Gevalia, a company best known for convincing me to sign up for their coffee of the month club through the use of a well placed late-night infomercial featuring a sexy saleswoman with a sultry voice. Anyway, the $19 mug features a special base that runs on two AAA batteries and promises "to gently stir your beverage at the push of a button". Now call me crazy, but what kind of gentle stir creates a freaking whirlpool in your beverage? That picture looks like a blender set on the highest setting. You'd have hot beverage in your lap quicker than you could say "I'm suing you McDonalds because I'm a stupid asshole and the coffee you served me was hot." Still, I'm buying one. Mostly because, unlike that pussy James Bond, I like my martinis stirred -- and served in 12-ounce mugs. Suck it Bond, you couldn't even spy on your own girlfriend in the shower.
Stir Mug Does All Of The Work For You [ohgizmo]
Jan 4 2008 Mug Displays The Way You Like Your Brew
The Drink Selector Mug ($24) is a receptacle for hot liquids that has three metal bands around it. The top band is turned to indicate if you prefer coffee or tea. The second band indicates your milk preference (breast, etc.), and the third your sugar. Now I don't know how things are done in other offices, but here I have to make my own damn coffee. Which is actually a good thing, because my coworkers don't really like me. The last time I did get a fellow employee to bring me a mug I'm pretty sure it was urinated in. Now call me crazy, but I like my coffee the same way I like my women -- with no penis involved. So I make it myself, sans dong. Okay, maybe just to stir in the milk.
Drink Selector Mug ensures a perfect brew, every time [dvice]
Nov 30 2007 On/Off Coffee Mug Changes Colors, Whee!
When the coffee cup is cold it's black and reads "OFF", when a hot liquid is poured inside, it turns white and reads "ON". Pretty clever, huh? I'm not impressed either. But my girlfriend went bonkers over this, claiming it's the best invention of her lifetime (she's dumb as shit). If you want one they cost $25 from Charles and Marie. If you don't want one then I have a lot more respect for you. I still have to get one for my girlfriend though, or she'll throw a goddamn hissy-fit. I'm just hoping the heat sensitive pigment responsible for the color change rubs off and kills her.
on/off coffee mug [technabob]
Sep 14 2007 Toaster Teapot Is Toaster And Teapot!
The Toaster Teapot is both a toaster and a teapot. Oh sweet mother, what will they think of next? I have been using both a toaster AND a teapot until now, and quite frankly, I've always felt like a douche. I'm not totally sure if it has anything to do with my breakfast preparation, but you never know. Better safe than sorry. It costs $56, and a neat idea, I guess. I just thought that you weren't supposed to mix toasters and liquids. Because my (now ex) wife tossed one in when I was taking a bubblebath one morning and, well, I still can't grow hair on my man purse.
Toaster Teapot Combines Toaster And Teapot! [uberreview]
Aug 23 2007 Coffee and Tea Mugs Ensure Proper Ratio
Suck UK is at it again, this time bringing us MyCuppa Mugs that have a coloring guide on the inside rim to ensure the proper ratio of coffee/tea to milk. They cost about $15, and are a must if you work with the coffee brewing idiots that I do. Every time I scream at someone to make my damn coffee it's never the right color and almost always tastes like urine.
