Sep 1 2009 I Must Have It!: Magical Unicorn Juice
Some guy on eBay recently sold the last jar of unicorn semen in the United States for $31 plus $3 flat rate shipping. If you were the buyer please contact me, as I must have some. *ahem* For science, for science (if I repeat things it makes them real).
This is possibly the only jar of Unicorn semen left in the united states.Unicorns were bred for their magic and keen night hunting skills to protect lepreachauns that had been injured in battle during the civil war. Unicorns were only found in two places on the planet, the northern and southern hemispheres. Anyone in possession of this rare and magical fluid will be able to swim with the wolves and fly with the dolphins as its powers are still being found.I opened the jar while i was on my computer and my computer flickered for a minute and i realized the semen had helped me kill Yogg-Saron on my World of Warcraft account and i recieved the Shawl of Haunted memories and the Mantle of the Wayward Conqueror. i have already been blessed and recieved my gift...so i'm going to pass the power onto someone else. Do not drink the unicorn semen as the power is too much for the human digestive system and could change your DNA and give you the shits. Bid, but Bid Wisely.
Do not drink, my ass. I have an iron stomach (and lung) and am gonna guzzle that whole jar like I'm shotgunning a beer. LASER VISION, YOU WILL BE MINE!
Thanks Chris, but if I found out you bought it and aren't sharing, well, that's just cruel. GIVE ME A SIP!
Jun 9 2009 Mountain Dew Is Back With WoW Game Fuel
You may recall a couple years ago when Mountain Dew came out with a special edition Halo-themed soda called Game Fuel. You may also recall It tasting like shit and the Geekologie Writer suing because it made his penis shrink (it was visible before, I swear). Well now they're back with two World of Warcraft inspired game imbibe-ables.
The Horde drink is reddish orange and packed with "a blast of citrus cherry". Nice, guys -- God knows orcs probably love that citrus cherry flavor. The Alliance beverage is blue and "packs a punch of wild fruit flavor". Ironically, so do I. Both drinks are available now and guarantee to be packed with previously unheard of amounts of performance reducing yellow #5. Mmmm.
Thanks to PsychoSane13, who can't make up his mind and probably leaning towards psycho. Also, the red drink.
May 12 2009 Wuv, Tru Wuv: Heart-Shaped Watermelons
What? I CAN QUOTE The Princess Bride IF I WANT. There's no shame in my game. Or extra lives. Anyway, just in time for not Valentine's Day, Japanese jolly ranchers Kiroichi Kimura and his wife have perfected a way of growing heart-shaped watermelons, which sell for up to $160. It took three years to develop the process, which involves implanting a watermelon seed in a giant's heart and then slaying it and removing the melon afterward. Nice, guys, but I think I still stick to regular-shaped melons. *ahem* I'm looking at you, female Geekologie reader.
Heart-shaped watermelons in Japan [japanprobe]
Thanks to Ashnod, ffffffffffffffffffffff and NESbeast, who are holding out for spleen shaped watermelons.
Aug 21 2008 Mega Man Energy Drink Coming Soon
It seems like every video game character out there wants his own damn energy drink these days. So it comes as no surprise that Mega Man (who actually looks like a little boy) in getting one to coincide with the release of Mega Man 9. At first glance the product looks like an energy cell, but a closer inspection reveals it's just a freaking can.
The drink will be called "Rockman E Can Drink" because it's coming out in Japan and Mega Man is called Rockman over there. The drink will cost ¥137, or about $1.25 a can. No word on what it tastes like, though.
Ha, that's easy -- if it's anything like the majority of other energy drinks, it'll taste like Dr. Wily's taint.
mega man energy drink helps you beat down robot masters [technabob]
May 29 2008 'Flavor Tripping' Is Not What I Thought It Was
'Flavor tripping' revolves around the "miracle fruit" (Synsepalum dulcificum), a little red berry that, after eaten, changes the perceived taste of things eaten afterwards. "The cause of the reaction is a protein called miraculin, which binds with the taste buds and acts as a sweetness inducer when it comes in contact with acids." Neato. People are even starting to throw 'flavor tripping parties'.
Carrie Dashow dropped a large dollop of lemon sorbet into a glass of Guinness, stirred, drank and proclaimed that it tasted like a "chocolate shake."
Nearby, Yuka Yoneda tilted her head back as her boyfriend, Albert Yuen, drizzled Tabasco sauce onto her tongue. She swallowed and considered the flavor: "Doughnut glaze, hot doughnut glaze!"In a corner, The Geekologie Writer was licking bird shit off the window sill. After deliberation he concluded, "Bird shit, this tastes like bird shit -- now somebody give me a berry."
You can get about 30 berries for $90. Read the whole article for a lot more information if you're interested.
A Tiny Fruit That Tricks the Tongue [nytimes]
Thanks to James, one of the coolest people on the planet
May 16 2008 WTF, That's Gross: Bread Head Bakery
Kittiwat Unarrom got a master's degree in fine arts and now makes lifelike body parts out of bread at a bakery in Thailand. All the disturbing yeast sculptures are made out of dough, raisins, cashews and chocolate. He'll also paint the outside with some sort of edible paint to give it an even more gruesome appearance. When asked why he does it, Kittiwat replied, "I'm a wackjob and I like making people sick".* And what does The Geekologie Writer think of these bready body parts? We may never know -- he's too busy puking up the Spaghetti O's sandwich he had for lunch.
*As interpreted by yours truly.
UPDATE: VIDEO added after the jump.
More pictures after the jump, but warning: they're more graphic than the first one. Yes, I'm a girl. I wear frilly panties.
Mar 14 2008 Bob's Frozen Pickles Are Unsuprisingly A Huge Hit, Surprisingly Made By John, Not Bob
John Howard used to be a roller skating ring owner that wore a leisure suit and laughed when kids fell or slammed into the wall. That is, until he started freezing pickle juice and selling it to customers. That's when he realized his dream of becoming the frozen pickle king of Texas. And now he is, with his website PickleSickle.com selling over 20,000 kerosene cucumbers each month. You can pick up a box of 16 for $18, or 32 for $28. Or you can just fish one out of the big jar at a gas station and freeze it yourself. And get me one of those reddish pickled eggs while you're at it. I love those things. If pickles aren't your thing though, I have recently introduced a similar product to market. They're called Turdsickles. They're frozen turds. Buy now before it's too late -- they're really selling like hot cakes cold turds. I suck at product design.
Pickle Pops Are Officially The Worst Thing I've Seen Today [ohgizmo]
