Jan 9 2009 New Presidential Limo Ready For Action Jan 20
CLICK HERE FOR FULL SIZE IMAGE
Remember the new presidential limo that Cadillac designed to be PEW PEW proof? Well it's been approved for use starting January 20th and is jam-packed with all kinds of exciting features like extra presidential blood (I'm not kidding) and 8-inch thick (me too, ladies) doors that weigh as much as a 757's cabin door. I thought it was funny the driver side window is the only one that goes down and even it only 3-inches (me too, ladies) to "pay a toll or talk with secret service agents running alongside". Pay a toll? Get freaking real! I know the picture is small, so click here to see the full size image and read all those little words. Then, read my lips: No. new. tickets. Seriously, I'm already driving on a suspended license. Shhhhhh!
Inside the Rocket-Proof Obamamobile [gizmodo]
Thanks to Pat and Vossk, who allegedly both banged hookers in the back of this thing while it was being built.
Nov 17 2008 Oooh, Nice Ride: The New Presidential Limo
General Motors, best known for their delicious line of breakfast cereals, has designed an all new presidential limo for when Barack Obama takes power next year. They were going to do it four years ago, but figured, f*** it, let's focus our efforts on going belly-up for awhile. Anyway, the car.
Most of the specs of this car are top secret, but a few tantalizing details are floating around, such as the five-inch-thick windows that are about half as transparent as regular glass and can stop projectiles from assault rifles, rocket-propelled grenades and high explosives. It's also said to be built of a combination of blast-proof ceramics and exotic metals, and certainly won't have a convertible top or sunroof. While GM's trying to make it look like a Cadillac DTS, it's based on the company's line of heavy-duty 2500 trucks.
Top secret specs my ass. I'll tell you all about this thing: It runs on a rocket engine powered by the tar-like blood of terrorists. It can also hover. Comes complete with dinosaur chauffeur who doubles as sexual masseuse should you hit rush-hour traffic. AM/FM radio. Four tires and spare donut in the trunk. Mini-bar. Wicked two-tone paintjob. Left and right turn signals. Bomb proof undercarriage. 7MPG city/13 highway. A real pussy magnet. I'm serious -- the CIA stole my blueprints.
Obama's new presidential limo is built like a tank, looks like a Cadillac [dvice]
Nov 5 2008 Hummer Tank, Because, Yeah, Just Because
There are many things in this world that simply remain unexplainable. Like why all banana-flavored candy tastes like ass. And also, why the hell anybody would put treads on a Hummer H2T. Hell, or even buy one for that matter. My own poverty aside, what could possibly be cooler than a Hummer with treads? Ha, you're right -- a Hummer with treads on fire.
Hit it for a bunch more of the ridiculousness.
Continue Reading " Hummer Tank, Because, Yeah, Just Because "
Nov 12 2007 Boeing 727 Street Legal Limo Doesn't Fly
You take a 727 jet, throw it down on a Mercedes bus, and TA-DA, a Boeing 727 limo. It runs on the original Mercedes turbo diesel engine and weighs 24,000 pounds fully fueled. It's fairly long, at 53', and has a passenger capacity of about 50 people. All the crap you normally find in a limo is included -- like ceiling mirrors, bar, novelty lighting, televisions, etc. What's not included is the ability to fly. The thing just sold on eBay for $274,100, so it was kind of expensive. The only problem is that even if you do bang a couple hookers in it, you won't receive a Mile High Club membership. Because you're not a mile high. You're like a couple feet high. And maybe high on crack cocaine.
thanks to Jordan, who is cool, for the tip
Jul 25 2007 Tank Limousine
So what do you do if you've got a few spare tanks lying around and plenty of time? Turn one of them into a limo of course.
So at Christmas we pulled out the best armored personnel carrier from 30 we had laying around. A bit of a special not only fitted with a turret for when it was on the Berlin wall, and one of only 13 ever made but she also had some strange mine laying or clearing gismo on its rear which we binned. We decided on Gloss white as you would. Chopped a few windows in the side fitted smoked glass Fridge; twin DVD's reversing cameras completely re trimmed the interior. We found the army had left the massive diesel powered crew heater in one of the 432,s so we threw that in as well.
The Tank Limo will set you back between $3200 to $8000 per hire, but can you imagine pulling up anywhere in this thing? It's a limousine, but it's also a tank. And, God willing, one day it'll also be my home.
