Nov 13 2009 Yeah, No: Video From Top of The Burj Dubai

This is a video taken from the top of the Burj Dubai, the tallest building in the world, at 2,684 ft. Jesus, that's half a mile. Can you believe humans are even capable of this? I can't -- I shit my swim trunks on the high dive once. But, to my credit, I did do one hell of a cannonball.

This Video From the Tip Top of the Burj Dubai Makes Me Sick to My Stomach [gizmodo]

Thanks to Rick, who has dived off higher platforms into a cup of water. I mean, he died, but he did do it.

Oct 2 2009 Serious Eye Candy: Amazing Photograph Of The World's Tallest Rocket Blasting Off

This is a photo of the world's tallest rocket blasting off for outerspace without me. Damnit, I packed a sack lunch and everything! HOLLER AT YOUR BOY, NASA. Come on -- I'll bring you back an alien corpse!

You're looking at the 253.2-foot Delta 4-Heavy lifting off from launch complex 37B at Cape Canaveral, and yes, that's actually a photograph. Good thing the camera was remotely triggered by photographer Ben Cooper, who used sound activation to snap this shot while he was safely ensconced 3 miles away.

We feel sorry for that camera, though, whose lens was destroyed. The good news is, the camera itself somehow survived this hellish inferno as the world's tallest unmanned rocket roared away from its launchpad.

Impressive, huh? We've certainly come a long way since people thought the world was round, am I right? IT'S A D-20 YOU IDIOTS. God loves D&D! Now, gimme a roll for drunkenness, big guy. 19! BLAAAAAAAHH!!

World's tallest rocket roars away, captured in spectacular photo [dvice]

Feb 10 2009 Boredom: Ever Wanted To Scroll A Mile?

Ever wanted to scroll a mile with your computer mouse? Me neither, which is why I just grabbed the sidebar and dragged it. A mile in less than a second! I must be Mercury, the text messenger of the gods. I want gold shoes. Anway, onemilescroll.com is a website where you can scroll for a whole mile and read about objects and their lengths along the way.

The One Mile Scroll transforms virtual space into an actual, physical distance. Take your computer for a scroll. Participate and add heights of things. Please only add the vertical heights. Be sure to check your measurements (with Google or other service). Once submitted entries can only be modified or deleted by site admin.

I give it less than an hour before "The GW's junk" is added right there beneath ant. And, to whoever does it: I'd like to thank you in advance for your generosity.

One Mile Scroll

Thanks to Momboelitist, who once scrolled 800 miles in a week and lived to tell about it. Unfortunately, he developed carpal tunnel and had to chew his arm off.

Nov 21 2008 Record Base Jump Off The Burj Dubai

Two thrillseekers snuck into the Burj Dubai in May while it was being built and jumped off at 650 meters up. You know, because they're crazy. Crazy risk takers. Rumor has it one of the guys even went as far as to have sex with a prostitute without putting a jacket on first. Yeah, and there was a frost warning in effect!

Two Guys Jumped Off the Burj Dubai and Lived to Tell About It [gizmodo]

Oct 6 2008 Tallest Lego Tower Record Already Beaten

Sometimes victory is fleeting. You have to realize that you can't have the tallest LEGO tower forever, and that some jerks from Vienna are probably gonna trump you within months of the feat. And that's exactly what happened. Hundreds of children helped construct the tower to celebrate the 100 Years of Friends of Children (WTF?) festival. And you know what? The kids didn't even have the common courtesy to blow the other tower out of the water. Nope, they just made theirs 7" taller, for a height of 96.72 feet. You see, that's the matter with kids these days, they're freaking lazy. If they're not playing video games, they're just barely beating world records. Seriously, somebody should build one to the damn moon already. Imagine -- a LEGO tower six miles high!

Lego Tower Record Broken [uberreview]

Thanks to Delphine, who's gonna help me start construction ASAP.

Sep 17 2008 World's Shortest Man Meets Leggiest Woman

The Guinness Book of World Records held an event yesterday in Trafalgar Square to celebrate the release of the 2009 edition. Among the attendees were Svetlana Pankratova, world's leggiest woman (at 52"), and He Pingping, the world's shortest man (at 2' 5.37"). As you can see, the photoshoot gave He the perfect opportunity to score a worm's eye view of Svetlana's love nest. Nice He, but if I was you I would have climbed one of those legs and built a treehouse.

Shortest Man Meets Leggiest Woman [aol]

Thanks to Pat, who swears he dated a chick with even longer legs and had to use a grappling hook to have sex.

Aug 19 2008 Eye Candy: The Burj Dubai Nears Completion

The Burj Dubai tower, tallest building in the world, is soon to be completed. So photographer David Hobcote took a bunch of high-res pictures from the air to commemorate the 2,087 ft structure. As you can see, the results are breathtaking. And, if you don't start again, potentially lifetaking.

Hit the jump for several more of the ridiculousness.

Continue Reading " Eye Candy: The Burj Dubai Nears Completion "

Jul 8 2008 Jump Out A Window: The Wizard Escape Pack

Look around. See any flames? Take a whiff. Does it smell like smoke? Take your iPod's earbuds out. Is there a fire-alarm blaring? If so, strap on the Wizard safety pack, attach the end of the lifeline to something sturdy (no, not your computer monitor) and then dive out a window. Now sit back and piss your dress pants while the Wizard's 250-meter cable lowers you safely to the ground. Designed by HJC Design, the promises an "automated public safety solution with up to 250-meters of reciprocating lifeline technology." You just better hope a co-worker wants your attach point and disconnects your line before you hit ground level (lest you hit ground level at a break-neck velocity). That's why I'm sticking to plan A: my trusty hang glider. Sure it takes up the entire men's bathroom, but seriously, would you rather be safe in the event of an emergency or urinate in your coworker's desk drawers? Ahhhhhhhhhh, exactly. *zip*

Wizard escape pack: too late for MacGyver, too conceptual for Bauer [engadget]

Thanks Julian, I'm thinking we'll use these to escape the strip club without paying our tab

Jun 12 2008 Chicago Building World's 2nd Tallest Building

Chicago has started construction of the world's 2nd tallest building, the Chicago Spire, which, when completed in 2011, will stand 610 meters (2,000 feet) tall. However, the accolade will be short lived, as the 612 meter (2,009 foot) Russian Tower in Moscow is scheduled for completion in 2012. The Chicago Spire will be the world's tallest residential-only building though, and have 150 floors with 1,194 condominiums ranging in price from $750,000 to $40 million (a nice place to visit but a better place to rob). Let's see, what else? Ah yes, the spire makes one complete 360 degree turn from top to bottom and "has been labeled as a giant 'drill bit' by the public and others in the media have likened it to a 'tall twisting tree' and a 'blade of grass'". Wow, those are the worst descriptions I've ever heard. These people are either pretentious a-holes are high as hell on their own 'twisted trees' and 'blades of grass'. Seriously, it's a giant freaking dildo.

Chicago building world's second-largest skyscraper [dvice]

Mar 26 2008 London Tower To House 100,000 People

London needs to find room to house 100,000 more people by 2016. One solution is this thing, a massive 5,000-foot tall tower (must see picture of the whole thing after the jump) design by the Populararchitecture firm. Reminds me of the plans for Japan's massive building, but this one is less pyramidal and more phallical.

The tower, which at this point remains simply a novel idea, would take up little actual ground space and run like a proper democracy. It is literally broken up into municipal areas--the "neighborhood" is a singe floor of 600; the village is 20 floors and houses 6,000. There are also three super-districts that house 33,000 people each.

Elected reps serve in a local government and have regular meetings to decide what to do with common areas, which would include an ice skating rink, a botanical garden, an open-air theater, and tennis courts.

Shit, did that just say tennis courts? Sold! How soon can I sign a lease?

Make sure to hit the jump to see the ridiculously tall tower in full effect.

Continue Reading " London Tower To House 100,000 People "

Feb 29 2008 Skywalker Bike Would Hurt/Kill You To Fall Off

The 12-foot tall SkyWalker TallBike is way up there. A little too far up there if you ask me. I know several kids around town that have five and six-feet tall bikes, and even those things seem ridiculous. This one is so tall it has a ladder system built-in so you can actually get on the thing. And apparently they're rugged.

According to Koolkat, the 12-foot SkyWalker is so strong that it can easily take a 500-pound pilot, a little trivia fact that makes me imagine a Fantasia hippo driving one.

Sure I believe that it can hold a 500-pound rider, but what I want to see is a 500-pounder that's crazy (and nimble) enough to get up there. And could you imagine someone crashing and falling off this thing? That would be pretty awesome wouldn't it? Yeah, it would. How awesome?

A. So freaking awesome!
B. Bad to the ass!
C. Gnar Gnar Gnarly!
4. Pow Pow Powerwheels!
G. Huh?
F. Dude, that's not right, it could really hurt somebody.
G. I am so f***ed up right now, somebody please put on some music.

If you answered D. "I once saw a guy try to grind a handrail on rollerblades but fell and busted his sack open and one of his balls unraveled onto the concrete" then you are 100% correct.

Another picture and video of the bike in action after the jump.

Continue Reading " Skywalker Bike Would Hurt/Kill You To Fall Off "