Oct 12 2009 Kill It With Fire!: A Robotic Talking Piano
This is a piano, which, through the use of the black magic and robotics, is able to speak in one of the scariest voices I've ever heard. Well, besides the one that comes attached to the figure that sneaks into my room at night and tells me to write dirty things on the internet. I think it's my uncle!
Thanks to J.D., Rodger and Alexandra, who are already planning to push this thing out a window.
Sep 18 2009 September 19th Is Int'l Talk Like A Pirate Day!
That's right you salty, half-masted sons of wenches, tomorrow (September 19th) be International Talk Like A Pirate Day. And to celebrate, TellTale Games is giving away free 1-part episodes of Tales of Monkey Island. Also, I will be getting drunk all day wearing an eyepatch and waving a plastic cutlass. So, if you want some free awesome gameage head over HERE tomorrow to claim your booty. Unless you already own the game like I do CAUSE YOU ARE A PIRATE 4 LIFE! Now, whattya say you and I swill some grog and yell at the wenches? What do you mean, "no"? That's it: hand me my wooden leg, I'm gonna kick your ass.
Thanks to deadbodyman, who talks like a pirate all the time because he illegally downloads copywritten files online all day.
Sep 1 2009 Geekologie Readers Find Love On Omegle
Remember the article from a while ago about Omegle, the website that gets you randomly chatting to some stranger with candy? Well two Geekologie Readers hooked up on the site after reading the article about it and are now madly in love and totally gonna get married and have a white picket fence or whatever the hell people do whose marriages don't end in bitter divorce. Per Jessica, the lucky lady:
well i'm in this relationship...and i must tell you we met on the infamous OMEGLE. ...no i am not lying....i totally would have saved our conversation if i'd known we would be in this relationship now....annd...i think we'll end up getting married one day.....HOW WEIRD IS THIS???
How weird is this? More like HOW AWESOME AND CONGRATULATIONS GUYS. I took a stab at OMEGLE-ING love myself (picture above) and you can see how well it worked out for me. Promising in the beginning, penis-y in the end: the life and times of the Geekologie Writer.
Thanks Jessica, Geekologie wishes you two the best.
Jun 18 2009 Dinosaur Video Reminds Me Of Budweiser Ad
I'm not going to go into the details about what this video did to me (I don't kiss and tell), but suffice it to say it was magical. Like a wand. In my pants.
Thanks to Robbie, Sterling, cbobgo and Kerri, who know what I like.
May 23 2009 Uh-Oh: Parents Catching On To Text Talk
Can you believe it? Parents are actually breaking the code of "secret" text speak that teenagers use to talk dirty to one another and make plans to *gasp* smoke the marijuana.
Ever wondered what the secret codes that teenagers are bashing out on mobile phones and computers mean?Well, wonder no more.
A list of the top 50 acronyms that every parent should know has been compiled and posted onto the internet, MyFox Atlanta reports.
According to the list, a "Code 9" or "CD9" means that parents are nearby.
The words "I love you" can often be difficult for people to say, but the latest way around is by simplifying the phrase to "143".
143 -- really? I'm pretty sure people have has been using that since before Shakespeare. I mean, I used to use that shit in grade school when we only had pagers. Damn yeah I sold drugs!
Hit the jump for the top 50 "must know" phrases.
Continue Reading " Uh-Oh: Parents Catching On To Text Talk "
Mar 16 2009 They're After Our Skinny Coke Whores!: Japanese Unveil Robotic Fashion Model
Developed by Japan's National Institute of Advanced Industrial Science and Technology (JAJINAS), HRP-4C is a robot designed to walk, talk, and work a catwalk like the sexy little vixen harbinger of death that she is.
Standing at just over 5-feet tall and 95-pounds....the she-bot features 30 motors spread throughout its body with an additional eight motors in its face for expressing general boredom and disgust with the help. Its main purpose is entertainment and to attract crowds much like its fleshy counterparts -- so don't expect home cooked meals and laundry service should you take the $200,000 robot home.
As is evident from the photo, that guy is a demented pervert. IT'S A ROBOT, BRO -- HER ASS IS METAL. Some people, I swear. So anyway, like I was saying: I hid in a bathroom stall at the Museum of Natural History this weekend until it closed and then had my way in the Hall of Dinosaurs. Best weekend EVER.
Hit the jump for another picture and a video proving why this is the worst model ever.
Continue Reading " They're After Our Skinny Coke Whores!: Japanese Unveil Robotic Fashion Model "
Jan 12 2009 Girl Sends 14,528 Text Messages In A Month
Reina Hardesty, 13, sent 14,528 text messages last month alone. That's a lot. I wonder if she has carpal tunnel. Or really swollen thumbs.
The online AT&T statement ran 440 pages.
"First, I laughed. I thought, 'That's insane, that's impossible,' " the 45-year-old dad said. "And I immediately whipped out (my junk and) the calculator to see if it was humanly possible." He found it was - barely.It works out to 484 text messages a day, or one every two minutes of every waking hour.
Luckily, Hardesty has a phone plan that allows unlimited texting for $30 a month. Otherwise, he estimates, he would have owed AT&T $2,905.60 at a rate of 20 cents per message.
The average number of monthly texts for a 13- to 17-year-old teen is 1,742, according to a Nielsen study of cellphone usage.
Wow. I can remember (two months ago) when I had to upgrade from 1,500 texts a month to unlimited because I kept going over. Now before you pass judgment, let me explain: I'm mad freaking popular! Just kidding, text sex. No, not with myself! With myself :(
THIS KID'S A TEXT MANIAC [nypost]
Dec 19 2008 RIP: Majel Roddenberry Passes Away :(
Majel Roddenberry, widow of Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry and voice of Starfleet computers in every version of Star Trek including the upcoming J.J. Abrams movie, passed away yesterday from complications from pneumonia. She was 76.
Even before she married Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry in 1969, she was integral to Star Trek. She was the original first officer aboard the Enterprise--replaced after the pilot by Leonard Nimoy's Mr. Spock--and reappeared as the faithful Nurse Christine Chapel. When Star Trek: The Next Generation hit airwaves in the late-1980s, Barrett-Roddenberry took the recurring role of Lwaxana Troi--maternal gadfly to the Enterprise's counselor, Deanna Troi (Marina Sirtis), and romantic thorn to Captain Jean-Luc Picard (Patrick Stewart). After Gene Roddenberry's death in 1991, Barrett-Roddenberry would eventually shepherd some of his ideas to fruition; she served as the executive producer of Earth: Final Conflict (1997-2002) and Andromeda (2000-2005).
RIP Majel, you will be missed.
Hit the jump for a couple videos of Majel's work.
Dec 1 2008 Man Teaches Robot To Play Pong, Robot Taunts Man, Man Foolishly Doesn't Kill Robot
Some fool went and taught a robot how to play Pong. Next thing you know, the crazy bastard will teach the archangel of the apocalypse how to play Donkey Kong, and from there, well, I think you can imagine what happens next. Hint: we all die. I must admit though, I did almost chuckle before pissing my pants when the robot taunted the guy. He says, "No, no, no, and no. You are a loser." Man, if I had a quarter for every time a girl's told me that, well, I could play pinball for decades.
Thanks to Marc and Pedro, who could both school that robot at Pong then kick its head off and say something insulting about its mother (who I heard had sex with a Speak & Spell -- BURN!)
Nov 12 2008 It's The Future!: Gmail, Now With Video Chat
Truthfully, I only use Gmail and Gmail chat to communicate with two select individuals (you know who you are). But now, thanks to the marvel of modern technology, we can talk it up with streaming video. Oh happy day! You ever videochat with a blogger that's only left bed to let the dog out and eat three bowls of cereal? And on a side note: did that just make your loins tingle? Because it did mine. Just kidding, bed bugs.
Oct 13 2008 Not Our Children!: Toy Doll Promotes Islam
A bunch of parents think a Fisher-Price doll is promoting Islam. The doll in question, the Little Mommy Real Loving Baby Cuddle and Coo Doll is not only poorly named, but spouts religious messages (as alleged by previously mentioned soccer moms). The doll is only supposed to make cooing sounds and say mama, but many retarded parents believe the doll is saying "Islam is the light" and "Satan is King". I'm not making this stuff up folks, people really believe this. And also, that the world is round. You stupid f***ers, you make me laugh!
Fury over doll's 'Islam message' [thesun]
and
Youtube
Thanks to Silver Sided, who once owned a doll that could predict the future.
Oct 1 2008 Protest Robot Does Your Protesting For You
Robovox is an 8 meter tall robot designed by artist Martin Bricelj that receives text messages and then speaks them aloud in his loud robot voice.
Its purpose is to serve as a tool for an individual, who's voice usually gets lost in the sounds of the mass, the society. An individual can send a text message using his mobile phone to the dedicated RoboVox's number. Upon receiving the SMS RoboVox says out loud the statement, the protest, the declaration of love, or whatever the message may read, thus lending its voice to the anonymous individual.
Awesome, I'm all for a good protest, I think I'll give it a go. *texting* "QUICK, SOMEONE BREAK MY FREAKING HEAD OFF BEFORE I KILL YOU ALL."
Hit the jump for a video.
Continue Reading " Protest Robot Does Your Protesting For You "
Aug 11 2008 The Telemegaphone Is Now Accepting Calls
The telemegaphone is a combination telephone and megaphone, hence the clever name.
Telemegaphone Dale stands seven meters tall on top of the Bergskletten mountain overlooking the idyllic Dalsfjord in Western Norway. When you dial the Telemegaphone's phone number the sound of your voice is projected out across the fjord, the valley and the village of Dale below.
Telemegaphone Dale is wind powered and self-reliant. Recently however, the weather has been exceptionally calm in Dale and there has been a massive amount of people calling.If the Telemegaphone doesn't pick up, just give it a few hours to recuperate and try again. Sorry for the inconvenience.
Awesome -- finally somebody who will listen to me. Hello, Dale? Are there any pretty birds around? TWEET TWEET! Here birdy birdy! How's the view? Is it as awesome as I'm imagining? Is there a rainbow? I bet there's a rainbow. There is, isn't there? Shit, was that just Bigfoot? Haha, made you look. Quick, a unicorn! Jesus, you're gullible. *flush* What? No, I'm not calling from the bathroom. Wait, don't hang up! I need you. You're my only friend. You and the woodland creatures are all I have. Will you stay on the line until I fall asleep? Please? Okay, now let's so goodnight at the same time. Ready? Goodnight! Oh, you were off, let's do it again. Hello? HELLO?
Thanks to Abraham, the OG Emancipation Proclamater.
Aug 8 2008 Dark Knight Interrogation Scene Parody
This is a spoof of the interrogation scene from Dark Knight. One guy is actually playing both parts and it's moderately funny. Now I don't want to ruin it for you, but I'm going to anyways because I'm that kind of asshole -- Joker can't understand what Batman is saying because of the way he talks. BOOM -- spoiled! Oh shit, here comes another -- you were adopted.
Geekologie: Ruining lives and relationships since 2006.
Thanks to Tony, Romeo, and Josh -- crimefighters that battle injustice the old fashioned way: in front of the computer. With a beerbelt.
Jul 3 2008 Robot Bartender Serves Beer, I Don't Tip
Mr. Asahi was made by Japanese based Asahi Breweries and serves beer before stealing your girlfriend and making out with her in the walk-in cooler. It took over 200 man-hours to build Mr. Robobeer and he's pretty much limited to opening bottles and pouring draft beer. Did I mention he talks? He talks. Now I'm torn here because for once in my life I'm strangely attracted to a robot, but I think it's only because he serves beer. I'm really stuck between a rock and a hard place. Or, okay, my roommate and the arm of the sofa. Great, now he's drooling on me.
Hit the jump for a worthwhile video of Mr. Asahi in action.
Continue Reading " Robot Bartender Serves Beer, I Don't Tip "
Dec 3 2007 Robot Seal Is Your Grandma's Best Friend
Palo the robotic seal was recently displayed at the International Robot Exhibition in Tokyo. The furry little bastard is capable of learning the name you give it, talking, and reacting to touch. Which isn't too impressive. But it was designed to "help elderly people avoid loneliness and develop connections with others by interacting and talking to the robot." Well if that isn't the saddest damn thing I've heard in a long time then I don't know what is. If I ever get so old that the only "connecting" I can do is with a robotic stuffed animal I hope somebody has the decency to transplant my brain into a new body.
Robot Seal Designed to Take Care of Old People [therawfeed]
Nov 16 2007 Personal Cell Phone Booths: Make It A Law
Nick Rodrigues, a Boston artist, has developed the Personal Cell Phone Booth. If you're making or receiving a call you pull this clunky bastard out and put it on over your head. That way no one else has to listen to you talk about why your boss sucks or what you're making for dinner or whatever the hell people talk about. I really wish they'd make these things required by law. Because just yesterday I was at the bus stop putting my moves on the homeless bag lady that lives there, and this other freaking woman was on her cell phone talking about how her colon was acting up again. Talk about a mood breaker! Sure the bag lady was into it, but she's a bag lady. She shits her pants all the time.
A video after the jump, but it's just a guy walking around a city with the thing on. Don't expect much.
Continue Reading " Personal Cell Phone Booths: Make It A Law "
Oct 30 2007 The Talking CD Album: You'll Still Crash
The talking CD album holds 20 CDs and a 3 second message you record for each one. As you flip the pages it plays back the messages, so you know which CD is which, without having to look. You have to make sure that each CD goes back in its original slot though, or the whole thing is screwed. It's supposed to make driving safer. It reminds me of this thing, which was pretty horrible. They run $48, and I admire the inventor's effort to make the roads a safer place. But I'll pass. Just sing in the car like I do. If people look at you like you're crazy then just wave your arms around and swerve in and out of your lane. Then they'll know you're crazy.
Sep 18 2007 Talking Photo Album Steals Your Voice
This talking photo album, from Vat19, uh, talks. You can record a 10 second statement for each of the 24 photos in the album and then listen to them while you're reliving the memories. It costs $20, and isn't that bad of an idea if you plan on dying. I'm getting one to set on the coffee table for visitors. "On the next page is a picture of my testicles, don't look if you don't believe me. HAHA! You turned. You are so gay, those are my balls! Those are them! They're attached to me. Sucker! Now put down the album because the next page has private pictures of my girlfriend. Seriously, stop. HAHA! Gotcha -- you turned again! More balls! Whee!"
Sep 14 2007 Zeno The Robot Boy Will Kill You
Zeno, a robot boy created by David Hanson, is scary as hell. David named the damn thing after his real 18-month-old son, Zeno (poor kid), and it is supposed to be available for commercial sale in the next three years (for $200 - $300). It stands 17 inches tall and weighs 6 pounds, and took 5 years to create. He comes equipped with facial recognition software, and will greet you by name when he recognizes you. He is controlled wirelessly via PC, and can talk, walk, and make eye contact. His face is made of "frubber", enabling a variety of facial expressions, which he uses himself because he has "his own moods" and makes "his own decisions". He is one scary little bastard. Is it just me, or does anybody else get the feeling that one of those decisions may be stabbing your f'ing eyes out one night?
A couple more frightening pics after the jump.
UPDATE: A scary as hell video added!
